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Author
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Topic: Venus/Mars aspect in synastry with REVERSED ROLES????
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Mohini108
Knowflake Posts: 94
From: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Registered: Dec 2015
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posted July 31, 2016 05:53 PM
  
Is there truth to the notion that if the Mars person is the female, and the Venus person is the male, the attraction isn't as strong? The attraction WILL be there, but something about it will seem off, and it won't last and/or it will seem unnatural to both parties, thus the potency is affected. An example: Man with Venus in Leo
Woman with Mars in Leo
Conjunction at 1 degree. Thoughts? IP: Logged |
headintheclouds91
Knowflake Posts: 651
From:
Registered: Mar 2016
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posted July 31, 2016 07:42 PM
I think it depends on what someone prefers. The man might find the woman a bit aggressive and maybe manly in behavior and might not like it. But luckily for the woman the man got a fire venus so i don`t think he minds someone a bit more assertive feisty and less girly girl. But if this for example were a cancer venus guy he might not have liked it and the attraction might have been short term. IP: Logged |
LaceyLeigh
Knowflake Posts: 955
From:
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted July 31, 2016 09:16 PM
Sounds about right. I'm usually not into guys who have their Venus on my Mars, not in a romantic way. They make good friends, however.IP: Logged |
Mohini108
Knowflake Posts: 94
From: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Registered: Dec 2015
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posted July 31, 2016 11:12 PM
bumpIP: Logged |
outofideas
Knowflake Posts: 309
From:
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted August 01, 2016 06:47 AM
It may be affected to an extent.I have this with a guy whose Venus and Mars are in earth signs and mine are in fire. It didn't work long-term. I raised the question that i feel like i want to have sex more than he does...
Mind you we have a double whammy square. I suspect a conjunction in Leo would actually be alright. IP: Logged |
Lerena
Knowflake Posts: 523
From:
Registered: May 2015
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posted August 01, 2016 12:17 PM
My boyfriend's Venus in Leo aspects my Mars in Aries. A few astrology reports have told me I'm the dominant one in the relationship, but I don't see how that's the case. Either way, his Venus trine my Mars is one of the tightest aspects we have synastry-wise.From what I can gather about our relationship our roles being reversed hasn't been a problem, but maybe that's because our Venus/Mars aspect is a trine. IP: Logged |
angel4845
Knowflake Posts: 2868
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted August 01, 2016 12:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lerena:
My boyfriend's Venus in Leo aspects my Mars in Aries. A few astrology reports have told me I'm the dominant one in the relationship, but I don't see how that's the case. Either way, his Venus trine my Mars is one of the tightest aspects we have synastry-wise.From what I can gather about our relationship our roles being reversed hasn't been a problem, but maybe that's because our Venus/Mars aspect is a trine.
Is his Mars aspecting your moon sun Neptune any of your angles? Is his Pluto or sun being ASPECTED by your feminine planets or angles? You van have a Venus Mars aspect with a guy if he is Venus BUT he has to have at least his Mars or sun or Pluto ASPECTED to feel like you two can reverse roles usually that's the case in my experience. ------------------
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Mohini108
Knowflake Posts: 94
From: San Antonio, Texas, USA
Registered: Dec 2015
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posted August 01, 2016 07:29 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Lerena:
My boyfriend's Venus in Leo aspects my Mars in Aries. A few astrology reports have told me I'm the dominant one in the relationship, but I don't see how that's the case. Either way, his Venus trine my Mars is one of the tightest aspects we have synastry-wise.From what I can gather about our relationship our roles being reversed hasn't been a problem, but maybe that's because our Venus/Mars aspect is a trine.
Aren't the planets of both partners in the same sign actually ideal?
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yungang_grotto
Knowflake Posts: 3915
From: love lives forever
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted August 01, 2016 08:11 PM
It's not really reversed roles... this kind of clear cut gender based astrology doesn't really hold water.I.understand the theory that Mars might be too aggressive for Venus, certainly. But that could be the case regardless of gender, and the story will be told by sign and aspect, rather than by what gender each person is. Some men have a Venus which wants to be dominated a bit. Some have conflicting aspects within their psyche, where they have a masculine Venus and a feminine Mars, or an androgynius (Gemini) Mars. They will express their love nature and desire based on their chart, not gender stereotypes. A stereotypical man might indeed feel overwhelmed by a woman with a strong Mars aspecting their Venus. But a stereotypical man is also deeply insecure and questioning their own masculinity, and their dislike for a strong woman is rooted in their attempts to put the woman down in order to cement their position as the boss. It isn't necessary if you're secure in your balance ifmasculine and feminine. The only reason to feel insecure about not being masculine enough is if you think there is something wrong with being feminine. If a man has a well integrated Venus, they definitely won't mind a strong Mars sweeping them off their feet. If they have an insecure Venus, it would be too much for them. IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto
Knowflake Posts: 3915
From: love lives forever
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted August 01, 2016 08:16 PM
The other thing is the theory that men look for s complement to their natal Venus and Moon, and women look for a complement to their natal Mars and Sun.The reason for this is that female identified people need to express their masculine side and have it complemented in Relationship, and same goes for male identified people. A person who was gender neutral, who was perfectly balanced in their gender expression and fully realized in all aspects of their nature and psyche would not specifically need their masculine or feminine planets activated. These are all theories though. My ultimate theory on it is that all people are on the journey of completion and peace, and full self expression of all aspects of their uniqueness. If certain aspects of their personality have been repressed by society this will show in the chart. They will likely be attracted to people who help them unlock those aspects of themselves and begin to come into fuller self awareness and self expression. IP: Logged |
Elysia
Knowflake Posts: 2150
From: Gotham
Registered: Aug 2015
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posted August 02, 2016 01:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
The other thing is the theory that men look for s complement to their natal Venus and Moon, and women look for a complement to their natal Mars and Sun.
^ Your whole post was on point , yun..
This is kinda what I was coming here to say. Men already express their Sun & Mars in day-to-day life. They're looking for their moon/venus to find expression. (Unless of course they are highly evolved specimens who already express those well - but even then, they wouldn't mind having those activated in synastry). IMO, Man's mars on the woman's venus is the 'too aggressive' one - woman's mars + man's venus is a divine balance. The yin-yang is better expressed in this combo - cannot quite frame it well right now, plus I;m kinda busy. Will drop in later to elaborate maybe.
Just wanted to say - don't worry about coming on too strong if it's your mars. Your mars & his Venus just means he "loves" the way you "do" things. He thinks you're "sexy" and you think he's "beautiful" -- that's what mars & venus think about each other. regardless of who's who. Have you ever looked at a man, and thought, wow, that's one beautiful man..(yeah, it is possible, it's hard to define 'coz it's not so much about their physical characteristics as it is about that special *something* you see in them that lights up your world).
Also, if you have previous mars-venus contacts in synastry, go back and see -- when you were Venus, didn't you think Mars was sexy as hell? It ain't half bad for your man to think you're sexy. So, enjoy your mars conjunct his Venus.. IP: Logged |
EmGem
Knowflake Posts: 1661
From:
Registered: Jan 2015
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posted August 02, 2016 01:51 AM
Beautifully said Yun 💜My Mars is quite activated in synastry and his Venus is heavily activated by me.
We have my Leo Mars exactly trine his Aries Venus. It feels amazing. I can tell he needs a strong woman and I feel so energised around him, like he helps me stand up and say exactly what I need to say and act on things first in order to lead by example. Different to what I've ever done before. It's now time for me to step up into my masculinity and stop being a walkover.
There are times I feel so feminine around him too. I find its a beautiful balance with us.
It's very old school to say that the woman is better as Venus and man as Mars. IP: Logged |
Moonfish
Moderator Posts: 5192
From: Tropical Ocean
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted August 02, 2016 02:47 AM
I have a "masculine" combination in my chart (Sun-Mars-Pluto conjunct in Scorpio)
Generally I find Men with there Venus making a trine/sextile to my stellium weak willed.
The ones I've met make me feel like I can walk all over them which is very unappealing.I don't mind making the first move, but I need a guy who challenges me or just has a strong personality.
Now men with Venus Scorpio are very attractive, however they tend to play too many mind games, and test which depending on other aspects, can either be a driving force or leave me feeling completely frustrated.
Men with there Venus squaring/opposing my stellium has also provided a lot of attraction on my end. I think as mentioned above it's important to look how a Man's Venus functions in his own chart. I believe men who have a Fixed Venus sign, Fire Venus, or heavy Venus overlays would generally be more interested in women with less submissive qualities. IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake Posts: 2115
From: Sound
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted August 02, 2016 05:29 AM
My partner's Venus/Jupiter/DC conjuncts my Venus/Mercury/IC, and squares my Saturn/Pluto/ASc/Mars.
His Venus is out of orb for a direct square to my Mars, however, my Mars is part of the stellium.
His Uranus also conjuncts my stellium, so it's hard to isolate just the Mars/Venus with so much energy around them.There is no lack of masculine energy from him. The only difference I've noted is that I tend to initiate certain things more often, like talks about serious stuff and projects.
However, in terms of sex, we tend to initiate about the same, maybe more so him. I would think that the natal would be a better bet for understanding whether someone is more aggressive or not, and in which areas of their life. For example, I am a go-getter in terms of initiating projects, righting wrongs, very vocal about issues and unfairness (stellium on ASc.).
I am not so aggressive with feelings, quite reserved and have to be careful not to over-intellectualise them (Virgo Moon). My partner is very expressive sexually, both physically and verbally toward me (Sun, Moon, Mercury in 8th conjunct my Sun, sextile his Mars in 5th). And feels very deeply, but can struggle to comprehend feelings and express them verbally (Pisces Moon in 8th). When these two Moons come together though, there is a complementarity - both of us try to remember to take a leaf out of the other's book.
--- I could benefit from being with the feelings more, simply FEELING them without categorising
--- He could benefit from rationalising them more and finding ways to organise and pin them down I don't think any of this is masculine or feminine really, more whether the energy is an inward event, or an outward directed energy. What I am trying to say is that I don't think you can only consider Venus/Mars when thinking about masculine or feminine type energies, I think the natals will say more about that than synastry. **** EDT: Short Version --- I think it is about complementarity - do the polarities of the energies assist each other in expression or moderation? --- Do they trigger a striving for balance and growth in the other as an individual, as a result of the combination? IP: Logged |
yungang_grotto
Knowflake Posts: 3915
From: love lives forever
Registered: Mar 2014
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posted August 02, 2016 11:01 AM
From Elysia:"Your mars & his Venus just means he "loves" the way you "do" things. He thinks you're "sexy" and you think he's "beautiful" -- that's what mars & venus think about each other."  Depending on the aspect though they can also find one another overbearing, crude, self indulgent, etc etc... but generally they even find something to appreciate in those things... The tension of the square for instance can get very immense, but the desire is still likely to be there. IP: Logged |
angel4845
Knowflake Posts: 2868
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted August 02, 2016 12:52 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Moonfish:
I have a "masculine" combination in my chart (Sun-Mars-Pluto conjunct in Scorpio)
Generally I find Men with there Venus making a trine/sextile to my stellium weak willed.
The ones I've met make me feel like I can walk all over them which is very unappealing.I don't mind making the first move, but I need a guy who challenges me or just has a strong personality.
Now men with Venus Scorpio are very attractive, however they tend to play too many mind games, and test which depending on other aspects, can either be a driving force or leave me feeling completely frustrated.
Men with there Venus squaring/opposing my stellium has also provided a lot of attraction on my end. I think as mentioned above it's important to look how a Man's Venus functions in his own chart. I believe men who have a Fixed Venus sign, Fire Venus, or heavy Venus overlays would generally be more interested in women with less submissive qualities.
i totally agree about men with venus in scorpio playing so many mind games especially if they have sun conjunct venus my god....lmao. i agree with yungang and you on this whole gender bias thing. Everyone is different and not everyone will want there venus aspected by a mans or womans mars, i think its important to consider RULERSHIP. For exmaple im probably no help here but because im a female with a libra rising and moon in aries, my chart ruler being a venus in sag, i cant help but i always fall for women and men who have there mars or sun aspecting my venus and/or moon. why? because venus is my chart ruler it is who i am and because venus/mars is a passionate aspect my venus sag just loves it! i feel soooooooo in looooove my libra rising just lights up! ive had had feminine women (venus) conjunct my 7th ruler mars and i personally dont like it unless there mars is aspecting my moon or venus then its alright i just personally dont like to feel dominate in my relationships or friendships, i like to feel submissive AND dominate. Balance is Key especially for a Libra Rising like me!  lol!! Also its interesting that you have sun-mars-pluto conjunction in scorpio and how you find men attractive who have there venus on your stellium. I have a close friend that ive known for over 10 years and her husband is a venus in scorpio CONJUNCT her SUN-MARS-PLUTO STELLIUM IN SCORPIO in the 11th/12th house. isnt that fascinating? and like you said how you find venus in scorpio men attractive well she thinks so too. 
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Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 69953
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 02, 2016 01:38 PM
YES, something will seem off when roles are reversed.My parents have an almost exact Moon/Pluto conj with my mother the Pluto and she wears the pants and it is not good lol ------------------
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featherlightly
Knowflake Posts: 196
From:
Registered: Oct 2010
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posted August 02, 2016 02:16 PM
I've never had a man's Venus conjunct my Mars work out very well, but I think a lot of it depends on the overall synastry. I have a natal Saturn opposition Mars/Chiron at a very tight orb, so when someone's Venus is on my Mars, it's also pulling Saturn in as a wet blanket. Someone with a different natal configuration might enjoy the synastry aspect more.That said, I do feel like there's something weird about female Mars/male Venus from what I've experienced, because the Venus person tends to be more passive and not as aggressive or assertive as I'd like. There's a physical comfort there but not as much passion (on my end) as when someone's Mars is aspecting my Venus or moon. IP: Logged |
Ami Anne
Moderator Posts: 69953
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 02, 2016 02:54 PM
Some women are more masculine, too, and some men are more feminine.So, one could expect to see these reversals when this happens ------------------
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Beautiful_Light
Newflake Posts: 14
From:
Registered: Nov 2016
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posted December 16, 2016 03:42 AM
quote:
Originally posted by featherlightly:
That said, I do feel like there's something weird about female Mars/male Venus from what I've experienced, because the Venus person tends to be more passive and not as aggressive or assertive as I'd like. There's a physical comfort there but not as much passion (on my end) as when someone's Mars is aspecting my Venus or moon.
Well said! I have a friendship with a guy that's sometimes confusing. My Mars is conjunct his Venus (in Cancer) and my Jupiter in conjunct his Sun (in Leo). His Briede asteroid is on my ASC, his Vesta is on my MC, and his North Node is on my Vertex, which I've heard is also a marriage aspect. This freaks me out. It's certainly frustrating sometimes, being the "masculine" in the relationship!
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peony
Knowflake Posts: 1080
From: U.S.
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted December 17, 2016 01:13 AM
A dom friend has Venus conjunct his girlfriend's Mars which brought out an aggressiveness in her that was unusual. So, he was not at all pleased with Mars on his Venus.On the other hand, my guess is that a submissive man would more likely enjoy a woman's Mars on his Venus. IP: Logged |
peony
Knowflake Posts: 1080
From: U.S.
Registered: Dec 2014
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posted December 17, 2016 04:25 PM
quote:
Originally posted by yungang_grotto:
It's not really reversed roles...
In my experience and that of others, it is really. quote:
I.understand the theory that Mars might be too aggressive for Venus, certainly.
It's not a theory.
quote:
If a man has a well integrated Venus...
Uncommon, but true. IP: Logged |
LibraGirl92
Knowflake Posts: 735
From: IL
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted December 17, 2016 04:43 PM
I have this with my fiance as i am mars in cancer and he is venus in cancer. IP: Logged |
thingsgoneby
Knowflake Posts: 197
From:
Registered: Jul 2016
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posted December 17, 2016 05:16 PM
What's your experience with it LibrGirl92, are the roles reversed as peony says?IP: Logged |
LibraGirl92
Knowflake Posts: 735
From: IL
Registered: Nov 2014
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posted December 17, 2016 06:50 PM
My experience is that i feel like i am the dominant one in this relationship and he doesnt mind it but there are times it's a balance. He loves the i am a strong woman but i dont have an aggressiveness with him. With my experience it goes with what elysia about the man finds what you do is sexy.
quote:
Originally posted by thingsgoneby:
What's your experience with it LibrGirl92, are the roles reversed as peony says?
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