posted October 25, 2016 03:08 PM            

I'm on the inside:

posted October 25, 2016 04:00 PM            

Your Saturn makes a nice trine to his Mars, but overall I don't see your personal Saturns matching the intensity of the composite Sun-Saturn conjunction, so the weight of the relationship itself might feel like a lot in comparison to how you feel about one another. The fact that there's something for you to "end" here speaks already to the fact that the relationship has a structure already, and it is receiving support from composite Jupiter. In many ways this composite chart is pretty wonderful... and the synastry isn't too bad either. A Venus-Moon and a Venus-Sun aspect speak strongly to the potential for attraction.

Importantly though, your Sun and Mars are underaspected in this comparison. Although your Sun on his Midheaven must feel very good in a lot of ways, the fact that it doesn't make any Ptolemaic contacts to his other planets is worthy of pause. You might feel appreciated for how you make him look, or on a superficial level, and yet not deeply attuned with him on other levels... not really seen or appreciated for who you really are. Yet you make him feel particularly good. Do you know him through work or something? Do you know much about his early life? You could really shine a light on things for this person, in a good way... It's an interesting comparison, with your Sun-Jupiter along his IC-MC like that.

Your Sun is widely conjunct his Pluto, so he would hold some sort of fascination for you.

Also the worry that it's not 'going anywhere' could be in part because your Mars itself is under aspected. Mars is all about using your will and drive to get things going. Especially on the physical level. So you are somehow coming up empty handed when you go to try to "make things happen" with him, because your Mars isn't adequately motivated by the synastry. Maybe.

The composite is kind of awesome, although I have a sort of sinking feeling about a Pluto-Saturn-Sun stellium. When I first looked over the composite I thought, excellent! But when I noticed that Pluto had tacked on to that Sun-Saturn conjunction I sort of had to think OK... it is indeed going to be REALLY hard to have a solid sense of identity in this relationship. It is always on sinking sand (Pluto-Saturn)... needing to be rebuilt, re-calibrated, needing a huge amount of reassurance, and restructuring. It isn't a maintenance-free relationship!

Because his Sun and your Venus-Mercury are in Scorpio, the intensity of this relationship might be suited to you... but again your personal Saturns aren't exactly hugely activated, which again might create a dissonance between your approach to one another and what the composite is demanding of you...

I am not sure what you want me to say overall... An overview of the charts as I see them I guess. If you are thinking about ending the relationship I need to hear more about your reasoning there, because then I can speak directly to your concerns...

posted October 25, 2016 04:15 PM            

I think I am looking for guidance on how to proceed with this half/half commitment vibe from him. After two months he says he doesn't know if he can give me commitment, and doesn't know if being with one person is possible since he's always been in "suffocating" relationships (or so he says). Then when I have decided that we shouldn't see each other (due to the fact that I had to ask and found out he still has ties with a person from his past), he says he wants to commit to me and that if we continue hanging out he will commit and be in a monogamous relationship with me. However I feel like he only said that out of fear of me leaving when I said we shouldn't see each other anymore. I told him I don't know if I can trust his word anymore and being heavily scorpio-influenced we both know words are cheap. I also said that we both understand how important trust is. Originally I said we can set a deadline by mid november to have him decide if he wants this or not...but the more I think about it, the more I am starting to believe that his answer is already there -- any indecision is a decision.

posted October 25, 2016 04:19 PM            

I don't know about deadlines and ultimatums. You say you know what you want--what is it?

If you say mid-November, and you want to have a chance at building trust with this person, turning around and saying actually I don't want to have to wait is not exactly a good trust building exercise.

This is what under aspected Saturn will do... Saturn will wait forever if it has to. I mean, the trine to Mars COULD be enough. The Saturn-Neptune conjunction can be really beautiful or really frustrating. I have been there...

I think if somebody says once they want to commit to you, they probably mean it enough that they are likely thinking really long and hard about it right now.

I would NOT advise breaking up just because of a wide Mars-Uranus square in this composite. Honestly it's overall a really strong composite chart. But your feelings matter a great deal.

If he doesn't want a 'suffocating' relationship... well I don't know. This relationship will certainly test both of you for how committed and serious you can get. But it will be rewarding too.

posted October 25, 2016 04:26 PM            

I'm repeating myself now. It could also be rewarding.

I am not able to say definitively what to do, and I can't give more evidence "for" or "against" the relationship, as this is all for you to figure out.

With Chiron on the descendant it is not a light relationship, and whatever either of you decide, it's likely to affect you both quite a bit.

I like the chart ruler's position trine Sun/Saturn/Pluto very, very much. I also like how the final dispositor is a Cancer Moon in the composite chart, that's kind of lovely. And how the chart ruler is in the 7th house.

posted October 25, 2016 04:39 PM            

Then the past week has been long heavy broody dread for us both. I don't like the up and down and the uncertainty of where this is going. I guess at the end of the day I have to evaluate if it's worth it in the end, whatever the outcome is.

I've already laid everything out on the table for him. I was being very realistic, I said it won't be easy so if he decides I want him to be sure and that he wants this. I think he understands the stamina it requires to do something a person wants. I said I don't know what the future holds but all I know is that I would like to try it with him and see where it goes. I've already told him what I'm able to offer in a relationship, instead of making it all about me. I told him I want some degree of autonomy in the relationship, that I want him to do the things he likes to do on his own time that's NOT related to me. Cultivate his own interests. At the same time, I will do me, too.

I mentioned that I want exactly the same thing he wants: Trust, Loyalty, Dedication and just give it your best. All or nothing. He nodded cuz he knows exactly what I mean.

I am doing my best to lay down fundamentals of respect. Also laying down fundamentals of trust. I didn't see anybody or sleep with anyone during the time I saw him, he knows that and I said it's my decision. However, it wasn't the case for him and as for our original agreement, we were suppose to lay everything out on the table. He technically didn't do anything "wrong" but he definitely opened a door and...why even open it? lol...such a demanding Scorp Venus I am

*edit*
At first I noticed he was a taurus moon. My ex of 8 yrs and longest relationship was also a taurus moon. I have a sense of their emotional comforts. Also, he's pretty damn fixed in his chart, for better or worse. Either fixed in his own toxic ways OR fixed for the better and that once he puts all-in on someone, he's really all-in.