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Author
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Topic: Complicated Gay Relationship
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thegrinning_cat
Knowflake Posts: 304
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 26, 2016 06:26 PM
  
I would like to hear some opinions about the relationship potential of these two guys...the Red One is my best friend.They are/were together for one year, Blue moved in to his flat after 8 month, mainly because of dependency and lack of money.
I must say that I dislike the relationship because I have the feeling that they just take the roles of parents for each other, but there is no real love or tenderness or common interests. Blue is exploiting my friend materially and he tolerates it, because he has problems with being alone. Since a few month, they are constantly fighting and there is so much aggression and complaining and coldness. Yet, when it comes to leaving, my friend tells me, that there is so much love between them. I couldn't perceive much deep emotions there, but I don't know.
What do you think?
Is this made to last - or just dependency?     IP: Logged |
Faith
Knowflake Posts: 20584
From: Bella's Hair Salon
Registered: Jul 2011
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posted December 26, 2016 08:36 PM
Composite sun square moon for emotional coldness I think.Composite Mars square Pluto for all the fighting. Composite 4H stellium for feelings of "No, we really love each other" plus Blue's Scorpio moon and Cancer Mars will probably have Red's Virgo planets on the midpoint. So Virgo feels Blue's emotional intensity at times, in a way that convinces him of Blue's sincerity and maybe really does feel like LOVE. Blue's Gemini planets in the first house all squaring Red's Virgo planets in the 6th. Might be a case where Blue is just talking a lot and needing upbeat conversation, jumping around and making things lively, while Red spectates happily sometimes and feels annoyed and exhausted by it at other times. Interesting that Blue is a full moon baby, Red a new moon baby. I think that helps explain some mutual fascination. Blue's Cap stellium in the 8th overlays Red's in the 10th, so it seems Blue considers some things private and wants it just between themselves, while Red sees those same activities or conversations more suitable for the public sphere. Both Red and Blue have Venus and Mars aspecting the Cap stellium, it seems (can't trace all aspect lines.) So perhaps a lot of arguments boil down to where they are headed in life. Red is the provider (10H Cap) and Blue is the lover (8H Cap/Scorpio moon)? I don't know. But if they are fighting all the time and unhappy, regardless of the charts, I hope they find it in themselves to disengage. Hope others answer. IP: Logged |
Solar_Leo_Queen
Knowflake Posts: 2514
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted December 27, 2016 01:04 AM
Hmm, the synastry is not great, but it's not terrible either. Most of the time, when I analyze couple's relationships, I go with the composite because it shows an overview of how the relationship is itself, instead of just the interaction between two people's planets.As I have found out so far, t-squares in composite charts are something to avoid. I see that your friend and Blue has this between their Sun, Moon, Neptune, ans Saturn. I think there is a great amount of co-dependency here with Moon being in the 7th house squaring both Neptune and Saturn, and the Sun. They may both believe that they truly care about each other, so they stick with each other no matter what (Cancer sun opposing Neptune and Saturn in Capricorn). Honestly, they may not really truly care about each other, but instead like the idea of having a companion or a partner around (Moon in the 7th house square both Sun and Neptune-Saturn conjunction). It's sad to say this; Saturn is usually good for stability in relationships, but I've found that whenever it aspects Neptune negatively (I would count the conjunction as a negative for this), it gives people false hope in the relationship. They may stick with each other for a while before they realize that it's not gonna work out. IP: Logged |
todd
Knowflake Posts: 1191
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 27, 2016 06:20 PM
The composite shows common aspects of gay me. There is usually a very strong sexual component.here the mars/venus conjunction is square Pluto. This is pure sex almost devoid of emotional content. Eris is on the ascendant increasing the sexual urge and reveling in desire .
Neptune is conjunct Saturn. A prominent Neptune is often present as it seems to weaken the constricted male roles. The jupiter/chiron midpoint is opposed to Uranus so it seems arguments are about use or absence of money .to me it doesn't seem complicated. It is all about sex and your friend enjoys the sexuality enough to keep footing the bill.
Todd IP: Logged |
thegrinning_cat
Knowflake Posts: 304
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 28, 2016 06:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Faith:
Blue's Scorpio moon and Cancer Mars will probably have Red's Virgo planets on the midpoint. So Virgo feels Blue's emotional intensity at times, in a way that convinces him of Blue's sincerity and maybe really does feel like LOVE.Blue's Gemini planets in the first house all squaring Red's Virgo planets in the 6th. Might be a case where Blue is just talking a lot and needing upbeat conversation, jumping around and making things lively, while Red spectates happily sometimes and feels annoyed and exhausted by it at other times.
Thank you very much, Faith! That Midpoint Thing is very interesting. Indeed, Red becomes easily the center of Blues emotional outbursts and projections. Blue always complains that Red is boring and doesn't want to go out dancing and drinking with him...instead Red loves to clean his apartment 
(Gemini versus Virgo Classic) They often fight because Blue doesn't care AT ALL about the beautiful flat Red created. Always nervous and on the run, Blue breaks stuff, messes the floor and never cleans after himself. IP: Logged |
thegrinning_cat
Knowflake Posts: 304
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 28, 2016 06:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
As I have found out so far, t-squares in composite charts are something to avoid. I see that your friend and Blue has this between their Sun, Moon, Neptune, ans Saturn. I think there is a great amount of co-dependency here with Moon being in the 7th house squaring both Neptune and Saturn, and the Sun. They may both believe that they truly care about each other, so they stick with each other no matter what (Cancer sun opposing Neptune and Saturn in Capricorn). Honestly, they may not really truly care about each other, but instead like the idea of having a companion or a partner around (Moon in the 7th house square both Sun and Neptune-Saturn conjunction).
Thank you so much, Solar_Leo_Queen! 
That nailed it for me, it's exactly how I perceive their relationship.
I really don't want to disappoint my friend, and of course I'm not always around to watch them - but I just cannot affirm when he desperately tells me: "But he loves me so much - he just cannot show it!" 
I see this guy sitting on his couch with a grumpy face, not wanting to be touched in any way, immersed in his cell phone, and sorry - this is not how "love" should be, in my opinion. IP: Logged |
thegrinning_cat
Knowflake Posts: 304
From:
Registered: Jun 2015
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posted December 28, 2016 06:47 AM
quote:
Originally posted by todd:
The composite shows common aspects of gay me. There is usually a very strong sexual component.here the mars/venus conjunction is square Pluto. This is pure sex almost devoid of emotional content. Eris is on the ascendant increasing the sexual urge and reveling in desire .
Neptune is conjunct Saturn. A prominent Neptune is often present as it seems to weaken the constricted male roles. The jupiter/chiron midpoint is opposed to Uranus so it seems arguments are about use or absence of money .to me it doesn't seem complicated. It is all about sex and your friend enjoys the sexuality enough to keep footing the bill.
Todd
Very interesting read, Todd! The only problem is - they don't have Sex at all, because Blue doesn't want it anymore.
He uses it as a kind of power play, a withdrawl.
Red needs a lot of sex and is very frustrated of course, but claims that still everything would be better than being alone.
Maybe the Plutonic Energy can turn into that way, when Sex is blocked...I know some people with Pluto Mars contacts literally having a war with each other, but not in the sexual realm. IP: Logged |
todd
Knowflake Posts: 1191
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 28, 2016 02:03 PM
quote:
Originally posted by thegrinning_cat:
Very interesting read, Todd!The only problem is - they don't have Sex at all, because Blue doesn't want it anymore.
He uses it as a kind of power play, a withdrawl.
Red needs a lot of sex and is very frustrated of course, but claims that still everything would be better than being alone.
Maybe the Plutonic Energy can turn into that way, when Sex is blocked...I know some people with Pluto Mars contacts literally having a war with each other, but not in the sexual realm.
I take it back, it is more complicated than a normal connection. And yes, Pluto can turn into a celibate force whether the relationship is straight or gay the reason is that sexuality usually makes 2 people closer and more intimate. But Pluto sexuality is devoid of emotional intimacy because it is extremely ego centered and selfish. I have done charts of married people who had Pluto aspects and continued their marriage in spite of not having sex. Usually one partner becomes to feel like a peice of meat rather than a lover.
Looking anew at the chart, Saturn conjunct Neptune and opposed to chiron may reflect that your friend had a distance ,cruel and cold father. His father may have been absent. Within this perspective, your friend may be putting up with the situation because the presence of the "other" alleviates
the void created by the father,even if he was abusive.
With the nessus/pluto midpoint conjunction Lilith and the moon,it may be that sexual abuse was part of their childhood experience.
With the jupiter/venus and Jupiter/mars midpoints conjunct the sun and these square the moon, Lilith and the Pluto/nessus midpoint, a very sexually abusive emotional environment is coupled with a outwardly loving emotional connection. This can result in a dissassociative personalty or even a psychotic split.
It may be that your friend was conditioned by a abusive mother to have bad self esteem and now though he has many positive personality traits, he is unconsciously drawn to a partner who mentally uses him.
Another dynamic that further complicates the matter is the the node is square the vertex and their midpoint is conjunct the saturn/neptune opposition
to chiron.
This square often brings a other worldly feeling into the relationship. So there may be a underlying sense that there is a destiny to their relationship. But if so, it is still tied to the nature of the fathers in their lives.
It is starting to look like both parents were abusive in their lives and the dynamic of withholding affection/sex was conditioned into them. It may be that one is acting out as a surrogate mother, the other the surrogate father.
Yes this is much more involved than I first thought.
Todd
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