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Author Topic:   MERCURY can make or break a relationship!
SunAscendant
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posted February 09, 2017 02:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunAscendant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have discovered that Mercury contacts to planets in synastries and composite charts can make or break a relationship. If you have no Mercury contacts in both synastry and your composite then you can be sure that your relationship will be one of miscommunication. Communication is the number one most important thing in a relationship, above feelings and great sex. You can have Venus and Mars contacts and Moon-Venus contacts, but if Mercury isn't doing anything then your relationship will be difficult to sustain because neither of you will truly get the other person. This is just what I've observed in all of my relationships when looking at our synastry and composite chart.

Example: My dad's Mercury sextiles my mom's sun exactly to the degree and my mom's Mercury trines my dad's Jupiter exactly to the degree. In their composite they have Mercury in (one of) it's ruling signs Virgo. My mom's natal moon trines the composite Mercury, her natal IC conjuncts it, her natal Part Of Fortune is in Virgo and my dad's natal Juno trines it while his natal sun and Venus sit in Virgo.

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sashavittoria
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posted February 09, 2017 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sashavittoria     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I completely, utterly agree. Without good Merc contacts everything else is almost a moot point. Unless the relationship is purely physical!

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margym0o
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posted February 09, 2017 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for margym0o     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting idea and I would tend to agree as communication is THEE most important thing in a relationship in my opinion, however...I have seen in my own studies many examples of unaspected Mercuries in synastry.

Having said that, I'm sure there's been some compromise in learning to "get" the person whose Mercury is unaspected, but I don't think communication is IMPOSSIBLE. Maybe just challenging, as you learn their point of view.

One chart I've seen of a married couple I know personally who have been together for I think almost 8 years now BOTH have an unaspected Mercury in their synastry. That one was a head scratcher, but I guess it works? Another example is my coworker and her husband, who have been married for 40 years and his Mercury is unaspected. My girlfriend and her husband, her Mercury is unaspected. Even my ex...his Mercury was unaspected and my Mercury only squared his Sun, but our communication is one of the things I would complain about least! We got along famously!

Composites are another story. I would think if there was a lack of Mercury in synastry AND composite I would be concerned.

Astrology is not cut and dry, and if you see enough charts you will realize there is no '100%' rule when it comes to anything...just trends. Mercury seems to be one of those 'neutral' planets that can go either way.

I think communication at its base is easier if you have things in common with the person, too. If you have similar tastes, interests, values and ideals you will 'get' each other better than someone who is very different from you. THEN I can see relationships really struggling with a lack of Mercury aspects, because that 'common' element is missing.

Also, I think a relationship can fail if a person just flat out doesn't like the other person, and so the communication becomes unbearable because they just don't want to try and don't care what they have to say. You can blame lack of Mercury aspects but at its root we are all free to make choices and there are a lot of 'real life' aspects that come into play as well.

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Ami Anne
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posted February 10, 2017 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Great Thread. I believe Mercury is super important too! It can take a back seat to the flashier "sexy" aspects but it will, always, be important as the relationship continues!

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fireopal09
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posted February 10, 2017 09:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fireopal09     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Even if there isn't any mutual aspects between the Mercuries, the respective natal charts could mirror each other.


My SO is 8H Mercury Virgo and I'm 3H Mercury Scorpio. My house doesn't perfectly mirror him, but he is the only person I can tolerate chatting with on the phone for long periods of time.

Ceridwen posted some interesting ideas about natal charts and mirroring. It is worth a look.

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3l3n
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posted February 18, 2017 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 3l3n     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My recent partner and I have a Mercury opposition, with both our Mercury sextile each others Moon, which are in opposition also.

Communication is crazy.

On the emotional level, when sweet talk begins, we forget about the miscommunication and everything is fine again.
Generally though, it's almost like a war going on many times.
In the end, we notice we're basically saying the same thing but in a different language.

Mercury Aries vs Libra

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Kannon McAfee
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posted February 18, 2017 02:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kannon McAfee     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are absolutely right about the importance of Mercury and communication in functional healthy relationships. In these forums you see a lot of folks seeking 'chemistry' and emotional intensity, good sex, etc. But without communication it will likely be temporary, leaving people feeling like they have little in common without the drama of the other stuff.

However, I will take exception to the idea of 'unaspected' as it was used above without reference to minor aspects and decliations. Without declinations especially you do not have a full synastry. Many synastries (and composites) will show Mercury aspects in the declinations (parallels, contra-parallels). If you are looking at only the flat wheel chart you don't have the full story.

Then there is Uranus, higher octave of Mercury. If you handle its energies well in relationships, then you may find fewer Mercury aspects (verbal communication) are needed. Neptune's intuitive ear can also function similarly. Good listeners can overcome communication difficulties better than yakkers.

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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted February 18, 2017 04:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think before delving into synastry it's worth simply checking Mercury signs of 2 people. If they are in compatible signs/elements, this is already a good basis for harmony in communication. The lack of aspects is not always a reason for problems in communication.

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ChildofVenus
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posted February 19, 2017 06:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

.
quote:
Originally posted by Kannon McAfee:
You are absolutely right about the importance of Mercury and communication in functional healthy relationships. In these forums you see a lot of folks seeking 'chemistry' and emotional intensity, good sex, etc. But without communication it will likely be temporary, leaving people feeling like they have little in common without the drama of the other stuff.

However, I will take exception to the idea of 'unaspected' as it was used above without reference to minor aspects and decliations. Without declinations especially you do not have a full synastry. Many synastries (and composites) will show Mercury aspects in the declinations (parallels, contra-parallels). If you are looking at only the flat wheel chart you don't have the full story.

Then there is Uranus, higher octave of Mercury. If you handle its energies well in relationships, then you may find fewer Mercury aspects (verbal communication) are needed. Neptune's intuitive ear can also function similarly. Good listeners can overcome communication difficulties better than yakkers.


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ChildofVenus
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posted February 19, 2017 06:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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ChildofVenus
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posted February 19, 2017 06:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What do you think about having challenging Mercury aspects in synastry but an easy one in composite?
Like if two people have Mercury opposition Mercury, Mercury square Saturn, Mercury sextile Saturn, Moon trine Mercury in composite. And Mercury conjunct Moon in composite.
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
Interesting idea and I would tend to agree as communication is THEE most important thing in a relationship in my opinion, however...I have seen in my own studies many examples of unaspected Mercuries in synastry.

Having said that, I'm sure there's been some compromise in learning to "get" the person whose Mercury is unaspected, but I don't think communication is IMPOSSIBLE. Maybe just challenging, as you learn their point of view.

One chart I've seen of a married couple I know personally who have been together for I think almost 8 years now BOTH have an unaspected Mercury in their synastry. That one was a head scratcher, but I guess it works? Another example is my coworker and her husband, who have been married for 40 years and his Mercury is unaspected. My girlfriend and her husband, her Mercury is unaspected. Even my ex...his Mercury was unaspected and my Mercury only squared his Sun, but our communication is one of the things I would complain about least! We got along famously!

Composites are another story. I would think if there was a lack of Mercury in synastry AND composite I would be concerned.

Astrology is not cut and dry, and if you see enough charts you will realize there is no '100%' rule when it comes to anything...just trends. Mercury seems to be one of those 'neutral' planets that can go either way.

I think communication at its base is easier if you have things in common with the person, too. If you have similar tastes, interests, values and ideals you will 'get' each other better than someone who is very different from you. THEN I can see relationships really struggling with a lack of Mercury aspects, because that 'common' element is missing.

Also, I think a relationship can fail if a person just flat out doesn't like the other person, and so the communication becomes unbearable because they just don't want to try and don't care what they have to say. You can blame lack of Mercury aspects but at its root we are all free to make choices and there are a lot of 'real life' aspects that come into play as well.


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kicksotic
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From: Los Angeles, CA
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posted February 19, 2017 06:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kicksotic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Regardless the composite, it's best to begin with the synastry. (Well, actually with the natal, but let's keep this simple for now) If there are challenging Mercury aspects in the synastry, the composite won't step in to solve them. What the composite will do -- and this is my opinion, so I'm totally open to being corrected and hearing other opinions - is show how the nature of the communication could be when the couple is together. But it won't erase the challenge of those synastric Mercury contacts.

In other words, if there are difficult aspects, those will still need to be worked through regardless the composite. 😊

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SunAscendant
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posted February 19, 2017 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunAscendant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kicksotic:
Regardless the composite, it's best to begin with the synastry. (Well, actually with the natal, but let's keep this simple for now) If there are challenging Mercury aspects in the synastry, the composite won't step in to solve them. What the composite will do -- and this is my opinion, so I'm totally open to being corrected and hearing other opinions - is show how the nature of the communication could be when the couple is together. But it won't erase the challenge of those synastric Mercury contacts.

In other words, if there are difficult aspects, those will still need to be worked through regardless the composite. 😊


I do think the natal and progressed directions during the critical and important first month of the couple getting to know each other should be looked at. The first month (in my opinion) sets the groundwork for the rest of the relationship. If you're have sh*tty progressions to your natal or have a sh*tty solar return or are having sh*tty solar directions at the time of meeting then you have started off on the wrong foot >.<.

My ex had transit Saturn exactly conjunct his natal Venus a few weeks ago on January 28th when he broke up with me. His birthday was Jan 20th and his solar return for 2017-2018 shows the breakup clear as day

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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted February 19, 2017 07:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by kicksotic:
Regardless the composite, it's best to begin with the synastry. (Well, actually with the natal, but let's keep this simple for now) If there are challenging Mercury aspects in the synastry, the composite won't step in to solve them. What the composite will do -- and this is my opinion, so I'm totally open to being corrected and hearing other opinions - is show how the nature of the communication could be when the couple is together. But it won't erase the challenge of those synastric Mercury contacts.

In other words, if there are difficult aspects, those will still need to be worked through regardless the composite. 😊


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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted February 19, 2017 07:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SunAscendant,

How is the break-up shown in his solar? Just curious

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SunAscendant
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From: California
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posted February 19, 2017 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunAscendant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by CapriciousCapricorn:
SunAscendant,

How is the break-up shown in his solar? Just curious


Pluto on the DC

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kicksotic
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From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Sep 2015

posted February 19, 2017 08:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kicksotic     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by SunAscendant:
I do think the natal and progressed directions during the critical and important first month of the couple getting to know each other should be looked at. The first month (in my opinion) sets the groundwork for the rest of the relationship. If you're have sh*tty progressions to your natal or have a sh*tty solar return or are having sh*tty solar directions at the time of meeting then you have started off on the wrong foot >.<.

My ex had transit Saturn exactly conjunct his natal Venus a few weeks ago on January 28th when he broke up with me. His birthday was Jan 20th and his solar return for 2017-2018 shows the breakup clear as day


I've never looked at it that way and am hesitant to be as fatalistic to think that the progressions, solar arcs, etc during the first month set the tone for the entirety of the relationship. (at least that's what I think you're saying) I do think, with each individual chart, that the groundwork for a relationship needs to be present, but what that is for each person, who knows? You'd have to look at the natal to find that answer.

I've always looked at progressed and solar arc applying aspects (to natal, in the synastry - one's chart to another - and the composite and Davison) giving more of a view of what could be around the corner. Same goes for those progresses separating aspects.

As for the Tr Saturn conjunct your ex's Venus, although that could certainly hint at a break in a relationship (what house does that Venus rule? and what was happening to the ruler of that Venus?), it'd be interesting - in keeping with the theme in your reply of progressions and such - to look to see if the break-up was hinted at in the progressed composite or Davison or even in your progressed synastry (save for the Pluto/Descendant SR I believe you mentioned)

Apologies for hijacking the Mercury thread. 😉

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polkadotstars
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posted February 21, 2017 09:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for polkadotstars     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mercury is often overlooked but it's very important in my opinion. You have to be able to communicate effectively with each other for a good relationship.

I dated a guy once who our mercuries didn't aspect anything. It was so frustrating because he didn't understand most things I tried telling him. I'd have to repeat myself many times and then he'd misconstrue it as something else. It was extremely frustrating.

In contrast, my current boyfriend and I have our mercuries conjunct- they're right on top of each other. In fact, to take it to another level, his Mercury is right on top of my sun, moon, and Mercury stellium. So we communicate very well together. In fact we were friends before we started dating and we would spend hours talking to each other. He's always said to me how much he values that we have such good communication because he hasn't felt that before in past relationships.

So yes, Mercury compatibility is very important!

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CapriciousCapricorn
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posted February 21, 2017 02:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapriciousCapricorn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by polkadotstars:

I dated a guy once who our mercuries didn't aspect anything. It was so frustrating because he didn't understand most things I tried telling him. I'd have to repeat myself many times and then he'd misconstrue it as something else. It was extremely frustrating.


Do you remember what was his Mercury sign? And what is yours? Thanks

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ChildofVenus
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posted February 21, 2017 09:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ChildofVenus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And there are no aspects in synastry that help with harsh Mercury aspects? Someone here did mention them before but I can't remember what they were.

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colorful butterfly
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From: Durham north carolina usa
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posted February 22, 2017 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for colorful butterfly     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by 3l3n:
My recent partner and I have a Mercury opposition, with both our Mercury sextile each others Moon, which are in opposition also.

Communication is crazy.

On the emotional level, when sweet talk begins, we forget about the miscommunication and everything is fine again.
Generally though, it's almost like a war going on many times.
In the end, we notice we're basically saying the same thing but in a different language.

Mercury Aries vs Libra


Me and my daughter have this issue!!! She had mercury in Sagittarius and I have it in leo.

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