posted July 27, 2017 02:12 PM            

I've met a soulmate. Great guy, but is five years younger than myself. When I first met him, I was attracted to him. However, it kind of waned off for a while. Actually, over a year, and we developed a sort-of sibling-esque bond but then, the beginning of this month, it sprang back up and it's gotten worse. I took a look at our synastry chart and I found out why.

My Gemini Moon, Venus, and Jupiter all sit in his 8th House. And it's exactly how it's described, or at least, what I've read of descriptions. We got very close, very emotionally intimate and have shared things with each other that we have never talked about with others before ever. He's admitted it to me several times. But now...now I'm afraid that I may be losing my heart to him...or, I don't know, becoming obsessed somehow...and find myself trying to protect myself as much as possible. I haven't really spoken to him in a few days.

What makes it worse is his Venus in my 12th. I sincerely don't trust what his intentions or feelings toward me may be. He says I'm like a "big sister" to him, but at the same time, goes out of his way to see me/hang out with me during late-night hours so we can talk and delve more deeply into each other's psyche...I mean, do guys do that with "sister" figures in their lives or is it just me? I find myself very confused and oh God, the tension...I find myself feeling it, but then wonder if he's feeling it at all or if I'm just going crazy.

We also have Mars/Pluto trine DW, Venus Square Mars, a very WIDE and WEAK Venus/Mars Trine (14 degrees), my Pluto on his ASC, his Pluto on my DSC, ASC/DSC conjunction DW, Sun/Moon Square DW that are very WIDE and WEAK (12/13 degrees), Mars Trine Mars that is WIDE (8 degrees), my Mars Trine His Ascendant, Sun/Venus DW that is a square and a sextile, and a Moon/Venus Sextile DW...and oddly enough we have Sun Quintile Sun, Moon Quintile Moon, and Venus Quintile Venus...

I feel myself experiencing my stomach dropping out when I talk to him - he just messaged me - and all of this pain...but I don't understand why I feel it and he doesn't. Or if he does and doesn't want to show it or feel it or is afraid to feel it...I don't know. He keeps wanting to know more and more about me, but I just want to keep myself safe and not open myself up to heartbreak. Or scare him off and lose him altogether by making it weird or whatever. I'm 28, for God's sake, shouldn't I be over this high school crap?!

It doesn't help that his Sun (Aries) sits six degrees shy of my 12th House cusp (inside my 11th) while his Mars (Pisces) sits in my 9th or that his Virgo Moon literally STRADDLES my 5th House Cusp. My 5th House is at 1 degree, 55 seconds Virgo. His Moon is 1 degree, 34 seconds Virgo.

I don't know...how to deal with this. I wish it would go away. Every time I think I manage to feel like I'm okay, I get sucked right back in and I wonder if that's the stupid 8th house BS that brings up all the Scorpionic traits that I could otherwise go WITHOUT knowing for the rest of my life. I have dreams about him - I blame his Venus in my 12th about that - and last night was no different. Last night I dreamt that he was grabbing onto my hand, tightly, and trying to lead me on to someplace in the dark while I was more lagging behind him and not holding on as tightly and confused by his determination to march on as if everything was fine...Oh, I think I just answered myself. *sigh* What do I do? How do you put up with someone who doesn't feel what you feel or go back to trying to remain friends with someone after...all of that?

posted July 27, 2017 02:59 PM            

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QHn4c1uKyA&t=535s You're welcome.

posted July 27, 2017 03:45 PM            

[URL=http://s1366.photobucket.com/user/kim_spencer1/media/Synastry_zpsxn1wxozi.gif.html] [/U RL]

posted July 27, 2017 05:40 PM            

I mainly came in to say I do appreciate the intensity of that 8th house moon overlay. I have it with someone - my moon, Mars and jupiter in his eighth, his moon in my seventh, his sun, Mercury, Saturn and Pluto in my eighth.

posted July 27, 2017 07:29 PM            

I also just found out that our Sun/Moon midpoints are almost exact (Gemini) and that my Sun, Moon, and Jupiter conjunct his. *sigh* I'm getting a not so good feeling about this. Especially since he's unavailable and sees me as a friend/sister-figure. Though he's admitted to me that when he first met me, he thought about asking me out. Now he's afraid of having his heart broken and being in love, only to be crushed. He broke down and cried on my shoulder when a girl he had serious feelings for went and took back that she "loved him." The person he's with now is someone he likes and is comfortable with, but there's no real...connection/emotion behind it. But she makes him happy, which is what I want for him (Venus in his 8th - unconditional love.) But it drives me CRAZY that I feel all of this and he just feels...nothing.

posted July 28, 2017 02:45 PM            

*Bump*

posted July 28, 2017 04:35 PM            

Opposite Ascendants can be a strong magnet. Here on top of that we have his Ascendant ruler Pluto in your 7th house conjunct your Scorpio Descendant. You're sensing his Pluto strongly and this energy is exactly what your DSC craves. Your own Pluto is blown out of proportion by his Jupiter. Your Mars really wants his Venus, your Moon is going crazy in his 8th house. Venus in the 12th house can be even crazier than in the 8th, I guess. After all, the subconscious is very hard to control. Frequent dreams and strong but confusing feelings are on the menu. The exact sextile to your Moon probably isn't helping. When it comes to Mars-Pluto, I'd only count your Pluto trine his Mars. I think you experience this one stronger.

He may be not available anymore but I think he hasn't become completely immune to you. Your Venus and Jupiter in his 8th house, your Pluto in his 12th conjunct his Ascendant: this is where you get your revenge Your Sun, Moon and Jupiter squaring his Mars should increase the stimulation for him. Your Sun and Mercury in his 7th house make you someone worth considering.

quote:

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He says I'm like a "big sister" to him

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I don't like the squares between your Chiron and his Sun + his Saturn and your Sun. But then, it's probably better than no Saturn. They're not tight but they still hold potential for pain and denial. Your Mars opposite his Uranus and Neptune looks like a pain in the ass (your ass) again.

Your Nodal action should help keep it alive for a while.

posted July 28, 2017 04:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hypatia238:
There are guys 15 years younger than me that want to get in my pants, there are a ton of guys who like older women I have learned. I am "gorgeous" and look younger but overall MILF is a very real thing, lots of young guys fantasize about older women. Its a lot more common than I ever imagined.

That been said you know when a guy is attracted to you and wants you to kiss them, its possible he is shy and waiting for you to make the move. Maybe so much time has passed he did stop been interested in you sexually and started to see you as a friend. It's not the best sign he refers you as s big sister, at this point it might be too late.

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You make a fair point. *sigh* I just wish I could get over it. It's the intensity and secretiveness that hurts. I wish I could go back to viewing him as just some simple place-holder in my life, but I don't know how. From what I understand, even if the relationship isn't sexual, there will always be tension between people, due to certain 8th house placements.

I find it rather odd, on a superficial level, to be interested in someone who is five years younger than me. I suppose that's the prudent traditionalist in me and being used to certain stereotypes (thanks television). I'm trying to encourage myself into not feeling or believing that I feel anything with a romantic inclination. I tend to overthink and overanalyze everything...perhaps it's just a weird infatuation phase or he's just stirring up romantic longings in me. Normally, I would never be attracted to someone like him. He's my height, with fine reddish hair, and brown eyes, but not bad looking. I thought he was just cute when I met him, not anything...spectacular or eye-catching. My type usually involves taller guys, with blue eyes, dark hair, and are either my age or a bit older.

posted July 29, 2017 02:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Iridia:
The aspects lines are unreadable so hopefully my eyes are precise enough.

Opposite Ascendants can be a strong magnet. Here on top of that we have his Ascendant ruler Pluto in your 7th house conjunct your Scorpio Descendant. You're sensing his Pluto strongly and this energy is exactly what your DSC craves. Your own Pluto is blown out of proportion by his Jupiter. Your Mars really wants his Venus, your Moon is going crazy in his 8th house. Venus in the 12th house can be even crazier than in the 8th, I guess. After all, the subconscious is very hard to control. Frequent dreams and strong but confusing feelings are on the menu. The exact sextile to your Moon probably isn't helping. When it comes to Mars-Pluto, I'd only count your Pluto trine his Mars. I think you experience this one stronger.

He may be not available anymore but I think he hasn't become completely immune to you. Your Venus and Jupiter in his 8th house, your Pluto in his 12th conjunct his Ascendant: this is where you get your revenge Your Sun, Moon and Jupiter squaring his Mars should increase the stimulation for him. Your Sun and Mercury in his 7th house make you someone worth considering.

[QUOTE]He says I'm like a "big sister" to him

---

Now, what do you do about all this? The guy is taken and would rather avoid heavy emotional involvement so the best thing to do is probably distancing yourself until you reclaim your left brain. Maybe something will change in your favor, maybe not. Just look out for yourself, ok?[/QUOTE]

Hello there! Thank you for getting back to me!

Wow. That's really interesting stuff. Oh yeah, I'd definitely say my Moon is/was going crazy in His 8th house. I've never felt that way before! It's so intense! Definitely not something I'm used to (or want to be used to). I don't like the dissolution of my emotional self and feeling like I have to "merge" with him. It drives me crazy at times that he can see through me so easily, no matter my defenses or the lines I use, but at the same time, it makes me feel so understood and accepted. The intimacy of it all is addicting. His Venus in my 12th House is, what I suspect, makes him very reluctant to either admit anything to himself about our relationship or makes him wary or afraid of any kind of romantic entanglement with me. I'd read somewhere that Venus in a person's 12th house indicates also a "secret love, love affair, or unrequited feelings." So, I might be feeling the effect of that as well and maybe, in time, he will too...but he will still be hard-pressed to open up to me in that way or it may become a "too-little, too-late" scenario. Oh well.

Revenge, eh? Well, at least I know that the tension I feel around him may not be so one-sided. Even if he does view me in a strictly platonic-way now, he might acknowledge (inwardly) that I'm someone he finds attractive. And at least he finds me interesting at all times, which he told me yesterday. Perhaps with my Jupiter and Venus in his 8th house, it'll help him to come out of his shell and expand his horizon on relationships and not being so afraid to opening himself up to love.

I'd read somewhere once that Saturn Square Sun was sometimes a common occurrence with romantic couples, but that's neither here nor there. My Chiron Square His Sun, huh? Hmmm...I could see that. I think it would be the fact that I present emotional truths to him that he otherwise doesn't want to hear (or isn't ready to hear or dwell upon) and that he makes me look at myself in painful ways due to wounds that I've either neglected or pushed to the back of my mind. Either way, it can cause emotional pain...but possibly, it would be for growth. I'm trying to look at it maturely, lol. Mars Opposite Neptune...wow. (I just read a descriptive analysis of this on cafeastrology.com). I certainly understand this aspect a lot...but I don't feel resentful. And yeah the whole "on-off sexual feelings" is definitely there with my Mars opposing his Uranus. I hope it's not strictly just a one-way felt aspect. Pain in the ass indeed, lol.

The magnetic quality of the Ascendant Opposite Ascendant is right on the nose. It seems we can't go two or three days without either talking to each other (him initiating it most of the time) or trying to spend some time together in person (again, him initiating it). And yeah, with his Nodes being on my axis, I don't really expect this to be a life-long-endeavor-of-a-relationship. Perhaps we'll be friends for a while or not. *shrugs* Who knows.

I'm curious as to whether or not it means anything about a person's Sun/Moon midpoint conjuncting person B's Sun/Moon midpoint...or if that's just a weird misnomer aspect. I've read that a person's Sun or Moon conjuncting another person's Sun/Moon midpoint is also a highly magnetic and loving quality-aspect to have in synastry.

It's funny. I was talking to my best friend last night about this very same relationship and she helped me to view it in a different light. Not that I wasn't thinking these things either, but I'm allowed to, with her, bring out all of the evidence and examine it realistically (and not feel crazy). She assured me it was normal to feel this way about a friend, especially after getting so close to him, and that I wasn't crazy for feeling this way, lol. She just isn't into astrology (Taurus Sun with a lot of Virgo and Capricorn), so I couldn't explain all of this.

I feel a lot better about the whole situation and I think, given a month or so, I may actually get over this whole scenario and be able to not view him in a romantic light anymore. Maybe it'll take longer. *shrugs* I'm just happy that I know myself enough and what I want to not put him on a pedestal or view him as some "perfect guy" for me. He's young, he doesn't know what he wants (especially in relationships), he's never left his hometown or lived anywhere else, he's just starting to outgrow his childhood friends, and shedding those close ties that no longer serve to help him grow. And not that there's anything wrong with that! It is what it is and he is who he is and I like him just the way he is; I feel no need to change him. He's still trying to figure out what he can do with his life and career, being that he's gotten turned down for two city jobs he applied for and works with me at a department store. He's in a relationship with a girl that he's "comfortable with" and likes her...and yeah, is physical with her, but isn't really emotionally invested.

For myself, I would want the exact opposite of that. I want to be emotionally invested, comfortable, AND THEN physically involved...but I'm also looking to settle down in the near future, should I meet the "right guy." I was investing myself too much in him emotionally (due to him seeking me out and us spending a lot of quality time both at work and outside of it) and it wasn't good or healthy. I was forgetting myself and not paying attention to my priorities or needs. And not really keeping myself busy or being "unavailable to him," in any capacity. Damn Pluto and 8th House stuff, lol.

Somehow I sense there might an ironic shift in the future at some point, but if not, then it is what it is and maybe the relationship/friendship will just fizzle out on its own.

I know this is not the first time I've been around him. Pretty sure we've met in previous lifetimes (my Moon conjuncts His South Node and His Mercury conjuncts My South Node too. And I just noticed how his Venus, Lilith and Vesta conjunct my Anti-Vertex while his Juno conjuncts my Vertex. My Saturn, Neptune, and Vesta conjunct his Anti-Vertex as well. My Chiron very loosely conjuncts his Vertex) and maybe we will meet again when he's grown more (what with his Scorpio Ascendant, North Node, and Pluto all conjuncting each other in his natal chart, he's on a self-journey inwardly that is all about total destruction and rebirth. Perhaps of the ego or what inhibits him from expressing his truest, deepest feelings; his shadow self). Maybe in another life time or two we can give it a try and be stupidly-romantic in that time and place. *shrugs* I'm not going to hold my breath. I wouldn't mind falling in love with him, but not like this.

I'll be okay. And you're right, I've just gotta look out for me. Thank you!

posted July 30, 2017 01:48 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
what kind of a person he is with that combo- aries sun and a virgo moon? How do you see him?

---

I wasn't aware that it was such an interesting combo, but he is one of the few Aries that I have in my life (so far). Especially an Aries male. And one whom I've grown quite close to since we met in 2015.

How do I see him? Well, I certainly see a lot of Lunar Virgo traits. He's hard working, practical, simple, and generally doesn't like to have a whole lot of attention on him. He likes to be helpful and does what he can to be reliable or "useful" in some capacity. Even at work, though it's part of the description. It's funny how much he wants to change how the store operates, but at the same time, hates everything about retail altogether. He is very skeptical of all things at face value and is someone who generally has an interest in conspiracy theories. He's very smart and likes to learn; has a great curiosity. But is VERY unassuming in his lifestyle, career, and education. He got an associate's degree, even though he dropped out of the local community college (he obtained enough credits to do so ) two years ago. He's willing to either be a real estate agent (like his mom, should he take the test - that's still up in the air, but an option for him) or join the police force. He had taken two city tests - one to become a train engineer/conductor and one to become a Port Authority officer - but failed on both attempts. He has no real plan in terms of "being" something or somebody when he's older. He'd rather just have a regular job, even if it's something simple and unrecognized in society as anything 'special.' So long as it pays well and allows him a comfortable living.

...I wouldn't say that he's into routine per say. He does like to be spontaneous and have his freedom and the ability to come and go when and where he pleases. I think what he likes most is when things work out efficiently and smoothly, without interference from life's little complications or stupid people making dumb choices, lol. He has no tolerance for people who show no signs of any logical, pragmatic, or open-minded intelligence. And generally has no problem in being blunt or giving advice, though he does try to be a little more sensitive concerning other people's feelings...but only for the people he cares about. If you're someone he doesn't know and you ask him a general question (or a stupid question that involves either common sense or simple logic to figure out) or for advice, he'll give it without sympathy or filter. He's a firm believer in truth and honesty, no matter how harsh. But if you're someone he values, he does try to be a little more mellow.

*makes small space using thumb and forefinger* Like that much mellow, lol.

He does keep his feelings to himself and I suspect he's got a very deep and very sensitive side, but he generally tries to keep it hidden. He can be affectionate...generally likes to greet me with a kiss on the cheek. But he's not a touchy-feely person or expressive in affection in a physical regard. Even when he's with his girlfriend, generally he'll just put his arm around her shoulder, give her a kiss on the cheek, or just not touch her at all. I don't know what they're like in private *shrugs.* Nor do I want to, lol. But then, he's not as emotionally invested in her, so that could be just a reflection of their relationship.

The Aries Sun aspect of him kicks in due to his inability to stay still. He's very restless, always has to be on the move, and always has to be doing something. He likes being physical, doing things with his hands, which is why part of the reason why he loves classic muscle cars. He gets to be very hands on - which is what he likes - and, I suppose, methodical. He likes being active, working out (though he admits he used to be in better shape a few years ago), going for walks. He's fiercely independent and stubborn. Once he's made his mind up - whether it's about a person or something in general - it won't really be changed. Although he's always up for a good debate and likes to be presented with logical arguments and true facts.

He loves food and generally respects people who know what they want and have minds of their own. People who make choices and "stick to their guns." He's passionate, energetic, and loves to talk about topics that he's deeply interested in or has in common with others. He's also very self-confident and generally doesn't care or worry what other people think about him or things in general. He does have a little self-esteem issue, at least when it comes to his body. He generally has a bad opinion of how his legs look and the fact that he's put on weight and doesn't have any more "defined" musculature on his upper body.

Because he knows himself, he always has a good idea of what he wants and how to get it, quickly. He generally doesn't have a whole lot of patience. He does enjoy challenges and solving problems in creative or simple ways. He is very adventurous and will gladly hop in his car and drive around to wherever, whenever he wants or needs to do so. He wants to go out and travel the world, expand his horizons, and share in different experiences. Especially if he appreciates the culture and its traditions. He can also be childish and charming. He loves to laugh and appreciates a good joke, even if it is something that is harshly true or kind of cruel in nature. He's loud - you'll never not hear him when talks in public - unless he purposely lowers his tone and become quiet to indicate his seriousness or sensitivity about the topic being addressed.

He also has some artistic ability that he used to experiment with when he was a kid, but since he's no longer a participant in an "art class" (outside of school), he doesn't do any drawing or the like anymore.

...Other than that, yeah, that's generally how I associate him with his Sun/Moon signs. There's more to him because of his Scorpio Ascendant - lots of layers and depths - but for the most part, that's really how he presents himself. He'll never not be honest about who he truly is, nor shy or embarrassed about his individuality and his faults. He's aware of himself, his flaws, and doesn't shy away from them or the utter "grey" that is the world. He's brave in many ways. Braver than I, though knowing him has made me braver and more confident. More self-assured in being able to handle things. Aries is the sign of my 12th house, so he stirs up a lot of those hidden, unconscious qualities that I have, whether I was aware of them or not (despite his Sun sitting in my 11th house).

There's no aspect between his Sun or Moon natal-chart wise. In fact, the only aspect his inner planets make are mostly Mercury-related, despite it's opposition to his Moon. *shrugs* That's all I've got. Hope it helps!

posted July 30, 2017 02:05 AM            

1. He's a very masculine person and his appearance and energy convey that readily and wholeheartedly.

posted July 30, 2017 11:13 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Orange:
that was interesting to read, thank you. I was asking because my luv is also an Aries Sun and a Virgo Moon, thou his ASC is also in Virgo. Your description fits him to a great extend and it gave me an additional perspective:-)

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Ah, well in that case, glad I could help out and provide some perspective! Though I have to say, out of the two of us, you might be luckier! Good luck with your guy!

posted July 30, 2017 09:22 PM            

I once had an interaction (for lack of a better word) with a woman who bombed my eighth while I bombed her twelfth.

This was not exactly a Rose Garden situation.

Following survival instincts, I beat a hasty retreat to my safe house.

posted July 30, 2017 11:44 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GrandFireT:
Male input:

I once had an interaction (for lack of a better word) with a woman who bombed my eighth while I bombed her twelfth.

This was not exactly a Rose Garden situation.

Following survival instincts, I beat a hasty retreat to my bomb shelter.

---

Huh. Interesting input there, GrandFireT.

I'm guessing he's retreating - or avoiding me - since he hasn't spoken to me in three days (since Friday morning) when he usually sought me out every chance he got. *shrugs* I'm a bit hurt, but at the same time, I've decided not to dwell on it and just focus on me. He found out on Friday that he wasn't going to be a train conductor, like he'd planned to be since he was a kid, and was crushed. I tried to get him to talk about it, but he didn't want to, so I told him when he was ready he could talk to me. He then spent the entire weekend (after 9:30 that morning) ignoring me or not saying anything, which was/is unusual...but perhaps I'm reading too much into that. He did have to do a lot of commuting to work for the past 8 days (he had to seek training at another store) and well, I'm not the end-all-be-all person in his life, so...*shrugs* I don't know.

What I do know is that I want to be someone's end-all-be-all...but in a healthy way, lol. Perhaps it was just obsession on my end. Right now I just want to get back to focusing on me and what I want to do and figuring out how to do something that is both fulfilling and profitable and FAR AWAY from retail, in terms of career. I don't want to focus on him or his life or his feelings all the time, which was what was happening. I blame my stupid Moon in His 8th for that, lol. He's inspired me to be braver, more confident, more adventurous, and to do my best to be more communicative with people...I have no idea what I've done for him. Except to maybe expand his mind into more metaphysical/spiritual territory and force him to acknowledge that his old, childhood-based friendships were not going to be healthy attachments in the future (my Saturn in His 11th). *shrugs* Again, I don't know.

But I'm certainly not going to sit around and wait for him. If he's happy with where he is, how he is, and who he's with, so be it. He's someone who I could've seen a lot of potential in being romantic with, despite a lack of staying power (though our Saturns aspect each other, a few other personal planets, and each other's Vertex's, but whatever) or permanent-future-promises. It is what it is and one day, he'll be someone (most likely) that I'll remember with fondness when I'm much older.

posted July 31, 2017 04:15 AM            

If you're the Snake, you will probably want something more combustible than the Dog, who is a great animal but nervous about igniting in romantic endeavors.

Snakes tend to be very private, interior people and do not hit it off with just any old Joe or Mary. Thus close emotional ties between the two of you do not always flourish as we'd hope for.

Snake/Dog friendship and respect, however, can hold up in the long run.

This is from the books as well as my own personal experience. I am often attracted to women born in Dog years - just never got a rally going with one.

posted July 31, 2017 10:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ibringyouasong:
...Perhaps it's because I'm lonely and he just reminds me of what it means to share something "intimate" with someone. Something which I haven't partaken of in a VERY long time.

---

I had a very brief encounter with someone whose Sun, Mars, Mercury and Venus fell in my 8H, and their Moon in my 12H. The attraction was very mutual and natural, but the circumstances made it impossible to take things any further (distance, mainly, and different goals in life). They also admitted to not being the perfect person to have a crush on, due to past experiences (and hence, emotional unavailability).
The connection felt very intense and deep to me, and yet so comfortable at the same time. It was hard to let go of that person even though we only saw each other for a few days.

What I have indeed realized, is that I do crave such a deep, intimate connection with someone. I really miss that in my life, and the lack of it made me feel very out of whack for a few days following that encounter. I started getting obsessive about that individual, and it was also uncomfortable (as it is/was for you); and then I regained my peace of mind (somewhat) and decided to let it go (we stopped communicating, so there was no real other option).

Hidden, vulnerable parts of us are touched with 8H and 12H in synastry (especially combined). A deep hunger for connection and intimacy is awakened, and it can feel vital to us to keep that connection in our lives, especially if we don't have any other connection going on that is similar in nature.

I've found that 8H + 12H overlays (combined) very often don't work out, for one reason or another, and they often don't even truly get off the ground. I'm sure it happens sometimes, but so far in my experience they were fleeting and/or unstable connections that made me aware of my emotional desires (needs?) and how painful it can be to realize that what you do have in life is so far away from what you truly want... and yet, it's still hard to find or create, and that adds even more frustration and sadness to the mix.

Other connections/relationships seem very tame and superficial in comparison, but at the same time, holding onto something that's not meant to stay (for whatever reason), is not a good idea, and the lessons taught in the watery houses often involve letting go and not clinging to any given outcome or expectation.

posted July 31, 2017 02:58 PM            

Helios, thank you for your input. I've been working with him for over a year now, but it's the first time since we became "working friends" that we actually became so close. With his feeling the need (at least, in the beginning of the month) to constantly come over and see me (and me allowing it and being excited to constantly see him both inside and outside of work), the intimacy just flourished quickly. I became obsessed with his visits and the somewhat "we're in our own world" bubble that would surround us. Things that I never had with other friends and appreciate immensely, especially when a friend shows sincere interest to go out of their way to spend time with me. But then it changed somehow...I became aware that I would feel hurt when he would mention his girlfriend or say how another girl was cute. It also stung that his visits were, more or less, because he had some free time and not because he was going out of his way to create time for me. I began wondering if he felt any kind of tension or weird attraction-vibes between the two of us and feeling crazy because I was feeling it and he wasn't (maybe?).

The last two times I saw him - before he went away these past 8 days for his training - he seemed to notice that I was pulling away and being distant. As I said in a previous post, we haven't spoken since Friday morning and I still haven't heard from him. It's supposed to be his first day back at work today (or possibly tomorrow night). To be honest, I feel very nervous about seeing him again. I don't know how I'm going to feel when I see him again after so long or what to say (especially if he should ask why I haven't spoken to him these last few days). It may take me a while to get over this; hopefully not TOO long though.

I know I'm lonely and it's mostly because since I moved about five years ago. All of my friends are either still back in my home state or living in another state. Due to finances and distance, it's hard to spend time with each other and life goes on. This is the first real genuine bond that I've developed with someone - somewhat even deeper than childhood bonds since I can talk to him about anything - since moving here and I suppose I got confused and caught up in it. Maybe that's part of the 8th house/12th house overlay stuff. *shrugs* I'm not sure.

It's funny that I should have some kind of romantic feeling/obsession, yet be unable to picture any future with him. That's what tells me it's not real and that our friendship/bond/relationship/whatever may not a life-lasting thing (at least, in this life time). Soul mates are never a permanent fixture, as nothing is ever guaranteed to stay in one place or form in this universe or in life. They come and go, with lessons we're supposed to learn or already know, or possibly because we're supposed to teach them something. As I've said before, I don't know what I've taught him...

With his 8th house being Gemini, I get the feeling that I'm supposed to help him open up to communicating, especially with his feelings.

I can understand exactly what you mean about the watery houses being lessons about deep emotions and learning to let go. Change (being the Taurean/Earthy person that I am) is not something I deal well with, generally since for the most part, it hasn't always been good or happy. Yet with this, it feels more fluid and changeable. Perhaps because it is water-based underneath. Anyway, thank you for your input and encouragement!

posted July 31, 2017 04:48 PM            

quote:

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I'm curious as to whether or not it means anything about a person's Sun/Moon midpoint conjuncting person B's Sun/Moon midpoint...

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posted July 31, 2017 07:06 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Iridia:
You seem to be fairly self-aware. I think you'll be fine. But it will be probably easier to get over him if you stop thinking of him as your soulmate. What if this belief is one of the symptoms of your obsession?

[QUOTE]I'm curious as to whether or not it means anything about a person's Sun/Moon midpoint conjuncting person B's Sun/Moon midpoint...

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Midpoints can't be activated by other midpoints. Don't get me started on composite charts

Helios [/QUOTE]

Hello and thank you, Iridia, for all of your informative input and compliment. I've always been someone who's well-aware and in touch with her feelings. Comes from that lovely Sun/Moon conjunction in my natal chart. Yes, I think that I should be fine.

When I say soul mate, I don't mean in the "romantic" sense of the word. Merely someone who is either of the same soul family or similar vibration. Certainly there can be romantic connotations to the word, but I prefer to leave those overdramatized definitions to television, film, and literature. Intuitively, I know he's one of those (either a member of my soul family or someone of a similar vibration) and he's told me that he feels very much the same way. Love is love, just depends on the intent behind it that makes it different in various situations and relationships.

Ahhhhhh, I see. Well, in any event, my Sun, Moon, and Jupiter sit on his Sun/Moon midpoint. Much like how they conjunct each other in my natal chart, actually. Interesting. Oh well. Thank you!

posted August 04, 2017 12:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Iridia:
I think this concept belongs in art and entertainment whether it's about romance or not. Believing someone is a soulmate is more likely to cause harm (unrealistic expectations, clinging to an unhealthy relationship and so on) than something good. And then, I'm merely open to the idea so it's hard for me not to see trouble after encountering such an announcement.

Any news?

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That's cool. I respect that. I believe there are certain soulmates that we encounter in life, depending on what we agreed on in whatever-form-of-afterlife there may be. They could be teachers, friends, family members, co-workers, etc...whoever impacts us the most, in some way, and helps us to grow. I generally have no expectations, romantic or otherwise, it's just a gut feeling like "Oh, there you are. I'm going to learn something from you and we will bond and it will be glorious! For however long we're going to be around each other!" lol.

Uh, well...I saw him Wednesday night, for the first time in a few days. I was feeling pretty good and confident, thinking I could handle it and it was all just a fluke...nope. I managed to avoid his line-of-sight until I couldn't and then he came over and greeted me like he always did (a kiss on the cheek, "Hey, what's up?"), all lit up. We hadn't spoken in five or six days (or seen each other) and he acted like everything was fine, like it was no big deal. Not gonna lie - I felt a lot of pain in the chest-area. Bad enough that I wanted to cry and did my best to be distant and not really open up a line of communication (verbally and in person, at least) while around him. He seemed to pick up on it a little, asked me if I was "angry at him," and I told him that I wasn't (which I'm not), but I didn't go out of my way to be around him either. Right now, I think it's best if we take a hiatus, even if he doesn't seem to notice or care. *shrugs* I read an article about getting over someone who either doesn't see you "that way" or doesn't care. It was very enlightening. I basically have to forgive myself for having these feelings - even if they are obsessive-infatuation in nature - and not play the blame game and just let myself express my grief, when I can and in private.

Today, I took a day-trip down to the shore with my mom and just felt so...at peace and relaxed. Symptoms of being an ocean-lover. I was able to reach some clarity and I feel good. For now. I don't know how I'll feel once I see him in person again (which is unavoidable, given our mutual work place). He seems okay with keeping me at arm's length distance all of a sudden, despite last month's frequent late-night visits and in-depth conversations. *shrugs* I'm not going to overanalyze it or dwell on it. This whole Pluto/8th House/Scorpio energy is so deep and it pulls SO hard at the heart strings...I can see why it's addicting or hard to let go of...or why people might confuse it for "true love."

He's already got other job prospects lined up, so it might be that I might not even be working with him for much longer (if he has his way, anyway, in terms of getting another job). I, on the other hand, have to update my resume, and see what I can come up with for myself. Sometimes I catch myself day-dreaming about possible futuristic scenarios that are romantic in nature (or flirtatious, at the very least), but then I snap myself out of it, take a deep breath, and let it go. It's getting easier, especially when I'm not around him physically. The only time I've felt such "heartbreaking" pain is when I was dumped by my first-boyfriend and found out later, in the same week, that he decided to date my ex-best friend. Funny thing, I'm not viewing anything he does as a sort of "betrayal," except for how it kind of feels like he yo-yoed me. What with the intimate setting of him coming over in the middle of the night and having deep, deep conversations...to suddenly making it seem as if that'll never happen again. Perhaps he was searching for some sort of intimate connection and then once had, quickly lost interest. *shrugs* I don't know.

But I'm not going to give up my sanity or my soul (or my heart) and wither away into nothingness over this. I don't want to pine or stay stagnant. If he can't see what's in front of him, then that's on him. Or if he just wants to put me in a box and label me as a friend, then so be it. I'm not exactly "a type," but I can't change how he sees me and I'm not going to beg someone to love me or feel SOMETHING for me. I know I deserve better, especially with consistent behavior, and hopefully someone who is more "with it" or "together" with their emotional, mental, and spiritual maturity.

It'll take some time, but I'm hopeful that the pull will wear off, given enough space and time. I can say though, with utter confidence, that any 8th House overlay or Pluto connection (or entanglement with a Scorpionic/Plutonic person) are NOT for the feint of heart. Oi vey. Thanks for checking in and for your input! I appreciate it

posted August 04, 2017 01:46 PM            

Actually, I'll have to amend my previous answer from last night.

He actually came to see me last night. I was getting into bed when he messaged me and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I was tired, but stupidly, I said yes. Interestingly enough, I didn't feel any stirrings of any romantic inclinations whatsoever. We walked around my town for two hours and talked about everything that I was not informed of since I had last seen him. He even opened up to me about a deep, dark secret of his from his past and how the machinations of his family are not so ideal and that he wants his own place so badly. During this whole saga, he even complained to me about the things that drive him nuts about his girlfriend or what she did that recently made him mad...all while telling me how I'm the only person who understands him, thinks the same way he does, and sees things about him that no one else does.

But *shrugs* I felt nothing. Just a sort of deep gladness and calm. Hmmmm...perhaps I am over it already. I think that trip to the beach yesterday really did help to give me some clarity and peace. It seems he did miss our connection since he was willing to spill his soul to me, with easy provocation (a question asked here, a comment dropped there). Granted, his reasons for seeking out my company were because he was "bored," as he put it, but somehow I get the feeling it was more than that...either that, or he just looks to me for someone he can vent to just so he can feel better. *shrugs* Either way, there was no disruption or pain on my part, so I think the whirlwind has passed, which I am happy for. Now I just have to figure out what I can possibly do for a career...and at my age...*sigh*.