posted November 05, 2018 03:31 PM            

how do soft and hard aspects differ when it comes to sexual attraction between two people and can soft aspects with non sexual planets influence the sexual attraction? For example

I have
Mars conjunct Moon
Venus trine Mars
Mars sq Venus
Mars trine Sun
Venus trine Pluto
Mars square pluto (amongst others) with my current boyfriend. So plenty of sexy synastry aspects
We do find each other attractive but sex is not the main thing in our relationship. Also, as soon as I come close to him I feel like I'm wrapped in cotton wool. I start feeling calm and cozy which is nice but also detrimental to any horniness (it kinda dampens the horniness) if you know what I mean?

With another guy I've been involved with the synastry aspects are not favourable at all for a relationship (which I wasn't interested in anyway) but the sexual attractioin was off the charts. It was almost animalistic. So is it possible that the sexual attraction between people can be higher with more friction in between the charts?

The first synastry is me and my current bf with birth times plus aspect grid (Im on the inside and horizontal)
the second is me and the other fling with that animalistic attraction (mutual) but I don't have his birthtime. I am suspecting a Sagittarius moon though. I took 12pm as birthtime. (I'm on the outside and vertical in the aspect grid). And we do have h21 lilith conjunct Eros but it doesn't show in the aspect grid for some reason

Why is the sexual chemistry with the second one so strong?

posted November 05, 2018 04:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Go to to tinypic.com, upload the charts and use the link that says for forums etc.

Really curious to see the charts btw

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Thank you ever so much.

Chart with first guy (with many nice aspects)

the aspect grid with him

Chart with 2nd guy (where there's a strong sexual attraction, that overshadows everything)

Aspect grid with 2nd guy

posted November 05, 2018 04:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I know what you mean! Harsh aspects indicate really high attraction between two people. I personally find high sexual attraction to people who square or oppose my personal planets (except my Sun). But as a Cancer moon, I can only handle so much of that until I decide to look for security. If there are not enough soft aspects to counteract the harsh aspects, the relationship will become toxic. The relationship becomes about the friction. It's like a drug. I think of those people who fall in love so quickly and then break up on and off for a while. Usually they'll have Saturn or Uranus in harsh aspect to wherever. Too much soft aspects make it feel too comfortable and boring. It's good to have both, but definitely the soft aspects should balance the harsh aspects. I find that 1 harsh aspect usually equals 5 soft aspects to balance out. Just my two cents.

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posted November 05, 2018 04:22 PM            

With the other guy, he's a Virgo sun/mars--very opposite to you. I find Mars opposite Mars to have a lot of high sexual chemistry. I had it with this one guy before but all we would do is have sex every time we saw each other. I realized I didn't really even know him. This was the toxic part of the relationship. That's the only danger I see in this, since there's not a lot of nice aspects between the two of you. Also, Sun opposite Sun, you may feel very intrigued by each other because of how different you are. But this is will be very superficial.

posted November 05, 2018 04:27 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
Also, I'm suspecting that feeling of comfort with your current boyfriend comes from that Sun-Moon and Venus-Moon conjunction. You might be similar to an extent that you always know what to expect. You feel very secure and loved by him. To me, I know I love someone when I feel this certain type of comfort. I don't know about you though.

With the other guy, he's a Virgo sun/mars--very opposite to you. I find Mars opposite Mars to have a lot of high sexual chemistry. I had it with this one guy before but all we would do is have sex every time we saw each other. This was the toxic part of the relationship. That's the only danger I see in this, since there's not a lot of nice aspects between the two of you. Also, Sun opposite Sun, you may feel very intrigued by each other because of how different you are.

You do have t-squares with both guys. I don't know how that Mercury-Mars-Pluto t-square plays out in your relationship, but it should also trigger some sexual attraction between the two of you. Or maybe arguments or makeup sex. The other guy, the t-square is between mainly personal planets, Sun-Moon-Mars. He may be good for a fling but not for a long-term relationship with you. You're just too different.

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posted November 05, 2018 04:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
It's hard to describe that relationship though. I don't really feel "coupley" with him.

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posted November 05, 2018 05:17 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
What does your composite chart look like?

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and here it is with the the other guy (epitome of hotness lol)

posted November 05, 2018 05:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
What does your composite chart look like?

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Here is the composite with my boyfriend

posted November 05, 2018 05:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:

I find Mars opposite Mars to have a lot of high sexual chemistry. I had it with this one guy before but all we would do is have sex every time we saw each other. I realized I didn't really even know him. This was the toxic part of the relationship.

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May I ask why you consider that being toxic? Were you looking for a relationship with him? Because I think that passionate flings can be nice if both ppl want the same...

posted November 05, 2018 06:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Can you post the synastries again with the aspect grid?
Not with the outerwheel. Makes it a lot easier to read lol at least for me

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Is that ok? There was no other option for synastry so I used this...

1st one boyfriend

2nd one sexguy

posted November 06, 2018 12:17 PM            

kept feeling a pull towards a friend and thought to look at his chart for the first time ever

and the way it lines up with mine is intense either red flags or just...

he's a scorpio sun (conjunct uranus) and mercury and has venus conjunct pluto in libra right on my ascendant/south node/venus conjunction that's opposite my moon, sextile my uranus, sextile my mercury, and square my mars (his sag mars is sextile my venus/ascendant/south node and conjunct neptune so his neptune is there too)

his pisces moon is loosely opposite my sun too

not sure what to make of it

he has saturn conjunct jupiter in libra too, puts chiron in my 8th house

idk his ascendant

posted November 06, 2018 12:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by kani:
Is that ok? There was no other option for synastry so I used this...

1st one boyfriend

2nd one sexguy

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i can see why sex guy was sex guy, all of these sex factors butnothing to make either of you feel emotionally secure or stable together

exact opposite

boyfriend was more harmonious without that same spark

posted November 06, 2018 12:26 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Dumuzi:
i can see why sex guy was sex guy, all of these sex factors butnothing to make either of you feel emotionally secure or stable together

exact opposite

boyfriend was more harmonious without that same spark

interesting

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Hi,
thanks for replying. What would you class as the sex factors between me and sexguy?
That would be really interesting to know..

I have some sexy aspects with bf, too but the sexual attraction is not the same, the connection is warmer and more fluffy although we are quite different as well. He is a stereotypical Taurus (although he only has 1 planet in Taurus) and he is so slow to move it's infuriating sometimes. I'm much quicker and more hectic. Weirdly the warm, affectionate vibe between us kinda dampens the horniness like I said in my first post. I wonder if that might have something to do with him or maybe my natal chart...

posted November 06, 2018 03:10 PM            

Now with sex guy ;

posted November 06, 2018 03:32 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
This is really interesting, you’d think you’d be way more attracted to your boyfriend.
You have ASC conjunct DSC and his Mars conjunct your ASC itself and your moon. Your moon (ASC ruler) being in his 7th conjunct his DSC. This is all very powerful synastry in terms of attraction and magnetism.
You have a double whammy moon-mars conjunction as well actually. And your Pisces stellium conjunct his moon, your mars is Pisces and he has moon in Pisces and Neptune conjunct his ASC, so he fits your mars needs as well as your DSC type.
You have DW Venus-mars, one a trine and one a square.
Your 5th house co-ruler mars is being activated, but not really your Pluto. You also have Uranus in there, luckily your bf has Uranus conjunct his ASC and Aquarius intercepted in his first house.
His mars square your Pluto!
You actually have really great synasty with him. I haven’t even mentioned all the other lovely aspects and compatibility’s since there are so many lol.

Now with sex guy ;

You have venus conjunct Pluto. And Pluto happens to be your 5th house ruler, so having his Venus conjunct it is going to stimulate a lot of romantic/fun/exciting/infatuated feelings in you. The fact that it’s Venus-Pluto alone is going to be a very sexy, intoxicating aspect between you. Lots of compulsive/obsessive feelings.
His ASC itself is Scorpio conjunct Pluto, so this matches your 5th house perfectly. With Scorpio rising and Pluto there he’s a really sexy guy in general. He will exude sexuality and magnetism regardless of what he looks like. Scorpio is magnetic. People easily become attracted or obsessed with you when you have a strong Scorpio or plutonic signature in your chart.
Another thing I noticed; your DSC ruler is in libra, conjunct Jupiter in your 4th house. He has a lot of libra planets and he stimulates your 4th house a lot. This is going to be very attractive for you.
His 8th ruler mercury is conjunct your DSC ruler. So that’s like his Pluto conjunct your venus as well.
You’re a water dominant chart, and he is lacking water. We’re always very attracted to people who make up for our missing element. With your boyfriend, he has lots of water as well so you’re a lot more similar but compatible.
With this guy, you’re very different, which opposites attract, but they don’t stay together lol.
You had those t-squares with your Pisces stellium, his Mars (ASC ruler and 5th ruler!) and your Neptune/his moon.
Hard aspects especially in pattern formations like this are super attractive initially. They draw us in especially when mars is involved.
Both of your 5th house rulers were strongly involved; 5th house is the fling, fun, romance/infatuation, excitement etc. it’s superficial and not concerned with commitment. It just feels good.
You and this guy don’t have much compatibility at all, and didn’t activate each other’s 7th house by symbolism, overlays or activating the rulers enough to ever consider each other as anything relationship or marriage material.
But it does like like it was a really fun fling lol!

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posted November 06, 2018 04:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Ohhhhh. Interesting.
I actually am willing to bet he is a Gemini rising then (you said he is a bit asexual vibe that’s always Gemini/mercury influence lol) that would make his ASC ruler mercury in libra (you said he’s very facially beautiful) and it would mean ASC ruler conjunct DSC ruler. Which is powerful in terms of attraction, it’s like a venus mars conjunction (1st and 7th axis).
That would also make him have moon conjunct or in his 7th house in sag, and also Neptune is probably there too, this would explain his attraction to you! With your cancer riding with moon in cancer there as well, and all your Pisces to match his Neptune 7th house stuff. I’m
Thinking he would me a late degrees Gemini rising, with Jupiter in his 1st house. It would match your DSC even more! And like I said, he would probably have Neptune/moon and Uranus at the end of his 7th house as well...
is he tall or big boned? and and has a longer/slimmer face? That would be the Jupiter. And does he have lighter hair (that would be the Gemini/libra influence on his ASC) could even be redhead with Jupiter as well.

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hello again

posted November 06, 2018 07:21 PM            

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Originally posted by LunaIscariot:
Nah, he definitely sounds like the Gemini rising with Jupiter there 👍 the height, longer/slimmer face. cancer rising gives a wider/round face shape. Gemini is a slender sign too, is he quite communicative or witty/funny as well, moves fast?
It would make the most sense with your guys synastry as well, the strong attraction.
Especially if you said his moon is actually in Capricorn with Gemini rising, that matches your DSC. Another strong reason you would have been so attracted to him. Neptune would be conjunct his moon, so that’s where the artistic and sensitivity comes from. Adds a Pisces influence.
Gemini rising usually has something with the ears as well lol, are they pointed or do the bottom earlobes turn out?
And does he have dimples at all? Especially his chin?

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witty/funny? mmh dunno. wouldn't say that. He's quite deep, analytical and philosophical though. just checked his photo, his earlobes are quite fleshy and they do indeed turn out. no dimples.
I'm a Cancer rising and my face is rather slim as well though. I do have a very feminine body shape (small hips to waist ratio).
oh and he is quite *cough* well endowed. Is that Jupiter in 1st? but where would his attraction to me be indicated in his chart then ? because all my personal planets would fall in his 11th if he is a late gemini ascendant ( I know there are other indicators than house overlays but still )
Didn't really understand what you said about his attraction to me in your other post...