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Author
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Topic: Why do we have such a difficult relationship?
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Hikaru29
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018
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posted November 22, 2018 07:11 AM
  
My mom and I have always had a difficult relationship. We are very different in terms of our tastes, diet, the way we do things and our values. While I don't care about all these differences but she spends her whole life trying to change me into what she thinks I should be. It's esp. difficult during my formative years as I saw her intrusion as a threat to my personal identity (I'm fiercely independent). We have Sun square Sun, Moon opp Moon, Venus square Venus and Pluto square Mars/Mercury so that explains... I was expecting to find Sun in hard aspect to Pluto but there isn't. Her Sun sextile my Pluto. What other aspects do you see that could contribute to this major clash and power struggle? Synastry (me in blue):
 Composite:
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margym0o
Knowflake Posts: 1120
From: Canada
Registered: Jul 2014
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posted November 22, 2018 11:16 AM
It's funny. I would classify my relationship with my mother in a similar way. Our synastry is a little more forgiving, but equally as forceful. Your synastry is very well-connected, as is the composite. You have some beautiful pattern completion in your composite, as I do with my own mother. Your Venus is unaspected in your composite, and our Moon is unaspected in our composite.I think the theme I'm sensing is despite the difficulty, there is so much drive to "make it right" if that makes any sense. A lot of people just write off their family members if there is tension or strife, but at least for me...I could NEVER not have my mom in my life, as difficult as it may be sometimes. The hard aspects push for so much growth, adjustment and understanding. The tight charts just keep it all together and make the relationship compelling enough to want to fight for it. I'm not sure how old you are but I will say it seems to get better with age. My mom has mellowed a lot as she's gotten older (as have I) but the underlying differences are still there, as much as we love each other. IP: Logged |
Hikaru29
Knowflake Posts: 84
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018
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posted November 22, 2018 11:36 AM
quote:
Originally posted by margym0o:
It's funny. I would classify my relationship with my mother in a similar way. Our synastry is a little more forgiving, but equally as forceful. Your synastry is very well-connected, as is the composite. You have some beautiful pattern completion in your composite, as I do with my own mother. Your Venus is unaspected in your composite, and our Moon is unaspected in our composite.I think the theme I'm sensing is despite the difficulty, there is so much drive to "make it right" if that makes any sense. A lot of people just write off their family members if there is tension or strife, but at least for me...I could NEVER not have my mom in my life, as difficult as it may be sometimes. The hard aspects push for so much growth, adjustment and understanding. The tight charts just keep it all together and make the relationship compelling enough to want to fight for it. I'm not sure how old you are but I will say it seems to get better with age. My mom has mellowed a lot as she's gotten older (as have I) but the underlying differences are still there, as much as we love each other.
Thanks for sharing your experience. My mom and I took years to finally made peace, not completely though as random issues can still trigger an argument between us. I love my mom but we're not "loving", if you know what I mean. I think only after 30yo I then slowly learned to compromise and get along with her, zipping my mouth when I would have retorted in the past. What helped is also that my mom's temper has mellowed as she got older.
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