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Author
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Topic: When a Venus/Mars conjunction DOESN'T cause an attraction - Why?
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Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 03:58 PM
  
A Venus/Mars conjunction in synastry is often held up as an epitome of romantic attraction (even if it doesn't last).However, I've heard of (and experienced!) a fair few occasions when this hasn't happened at all. So I was musing as to reasons why and wondered about the following? 1. If a woman's Mars conjunct a man's Venus is less potent than vice-versa as the gender archetypes are reversed? 2. If the person with the conjunct mars isn't having any of their planets stimulated by the other's Mars in turn, it might mean the attraction is more one-sided. 3. If it the aspect falls in an "unromantic" house - such as the 2nd or 6th - the energy won't manifest itself this way. 4. Other aspects might be a significant enough turn-off to cancel out the attraction (e.g. Moon square Moon) 5. That a Mars square or opposite Venus might actually add more "zing" since the planets provoke each other as opposed to sitting in the same spot. Like might attract like, but familiarity also breeds contempt. Any thoughts? IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 4289
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted April 14, 2019 04:03 PM
I don’t understand why people think if it’s the woman’s Mars conjunct the Mans Venus the attraction isn’t as strong. Just because Mars is the aggressor and it’s the woman who represents the Mars. I’ve read that the square between Mars and Venus can cause attraction.IP: Logged |
Bismarck2
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted April 14, 2019 04:04 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
I don’t understand why people think if it’s the woman’s Mars conjunct the Mans Venus the attraction isn’t as strong. Just because Mars is the aggressor and it’s the woman who represents the Mars.
Because a lot of women don't like being in the assertive role. Not always true. IP: Logged |
Bismarck2
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted April 14, 2019 04:05 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
A Venus/Mars conjunction in synastry is often held up as an epitome of romantic attraction (even if it doesn't last).However, I've heard of (and experienced!) a fair few occasions when this hasn't happened at all. So I was musing as to reasons why and wondered about the following? 1. If a woman's Mars conjunct a man's Venus is less potent than vice-versa as the gender archetypes are reversed? 2. If the person with the conjunct mars isn't having any of their planets stimulated by the other's Mars in turn, it might mean the attraction is more one-sided. 3. If it the aspect falls in an "unromantic" house - such as the 2nd or 6th - the energy won't manifest itself this way. 4. Other aspects might be a significant enough turn-off to cancel out the attraction (e.g. Moon square Moon) 5. That a Mars square or opposite Venus might actually add more "zing" since the planets provoke each other as opposed to sitting in the same spot. Like might attract like, but familiarity also breeds contempt. Any thoughts?
House synastry: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/221321.html IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 4289
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted April 14, 2019 04:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Bismarck2:
Because a lot of women don't like being in the assertive role. Not always true.
No, they make it seem as if the man isn’t attracted to the woman since it’s her Mars. IP: Logged |
ChildofVenus
Knowflake Posts: 4289
From: Customer Service Rep.
Registered: Apr 2015
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posted April 14, 2019 04:09 PM
And I don’t really know if the house placements matter either because my Mars falls into someone’s 6th house and their Mars falls into my 2nd house. And there is sexual attraction between us.IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
No, they make it seem as if the man isn’t attracted to the woman since it’s her Mars.
Ironically enough, I'm actually attracted to confident women (truly confident though - not someone who hides their insecurities behind an aggressive front). Probably my Cappy Venus.  The one time I had this, it was the woman with the Cappy Mars who didn't dig me. We got on well enough, sure. But I didn't press her buttons, so to speak. IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 04:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
And I don’t really know if the house placements matter either because my Mars falls into someone’s 6th house and their Mars falls into my 2nd house. And there is sexual attraction between us.
Isn't it the case there has to be an aspect going on to the planet in that house for it to be activated? That's why I wondered about the house the conjunction took place in (which Bismarck2's link seems to endorse).
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Bismarck2
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted April 14, 2019 04:16 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
And I don’t really know if the house placements matter either because my Mars falls into someone’s 6th house and their Mars falls into my 2nd house. And there is sexual attraction between us.
The 2nd house is a sexual(more sensual) house, because Taurus is ruled by Venus. Regardless, that's not what I meant by house synastry. House synastry ACTIVATES any romantic aspects between people. This is achieved by either having important planets aspecting the ruler of the romantic houses, placing planets in said houses, or a person fitting the symbolism of romantic houses. Of the three, aspecting the house ruler should be the most important. Placing planets in houses isn't that effective unless said planets makes important aspects to other planets or angles. Symbolism matching might make you someone's type, but without aspects, energy isn't flowing. IP: Logged |
SoulOfABird
Knowflake Posts: 632
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017
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posted April 14, 2019 05:24 PM
I think attraction has to go past astrology. I think you have to find this person somewhat physically attractive to ignite the attraction apects. Unless the person doesn’t care about physical appearance but most people need to find the person somewhat physically attractive I think. This is my guess.
For instance there are guys I have known to have good compatibility with. But physically they are really my cup of tea. In fact we had so many good apects, moon trine moon, rising trine rising, sun conjunct moon, but he just isn’t my type really. Then there is another guy that I have similar aspects with, not as many amazing ones, but both guys I don’t have many sexual aspects with, more love aspects however the later guy I felt was more in my lane, I felt sexual and romantic attraction with. I don’t know the reason is. Lol but maybe the latter guy was more my physical type for some reason? If we were attracted to people who makes mars-venus connections with us then where does physical attraction come in? ------------------
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 06:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SoulOfABird:
If we were attracted to people who makes mars-venus connections with us then where does physical attraction come in?
That's an interesting question. For myself - given the proviso that this might apply to other similar aspects or where house rulers are placed - I'd say that the fact my Mars is in Sagittarius *does* influence my type. I've always had a thing for that Sagi-tomboyish type. That said, I don't have just one type these days admittedly and, whilst I don't know your age, I've found my physical type has become far more nuanced as I've got older (when I was young it might be "looks like Wynona Ryder, now it could be as wierd as "her ears are cute"). IP: Logged |
SoulOfABird
Knowflake Posts: 632
From: California
Registered: Sep 2017
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posted April 14, 2019 07:17 PM
I think attraction has to go far past astrology. I think you have to find this person somewhat physically attractive to ignite the attraction apects. Unless the person doesn’t care about physical appearance but most people need to find the person somewhat physically attractive I think. This is my guess.
For instance there are guys I have known to have good compatibility with. But physically they are really my cup of tea. In fact we had so many good apects, moon trine moon, rising trine rising, sun conjunct moon, but he just isn’t my type really. Then there is another guy that I have similar aspects with, not as many amazing ones, but both guys I don’t have many sexual aspects with, more love aspects however the later guy I felt was more in my lane, I felt sexual and romantic attraction with. I don’t know the reason is. Lol but maybe the latter guy was more my physical type for some reason? If we were attracted to people who makes mars-venus connections with us then where does physical attraction come in? ------------------
I appreciate the masterpiece that is you, because your existence alone is art IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 07:32 PM
I guess it depends on what how strictly you define "physical type". If you mean something as tight as "I'm only attracted to guys who are over 6ft" or "they need to slim, pale and geeky" then I'm not sure I can advise - like I said, these days I find myself attracted to all heights, shapes and sizes. Does that mean there's no physical element? Absolutely not! But I've been surprised at what *does* attract me these days - often its something I only pick up afterwards. Like the cute ears I mentioned. Or the way they style their hair. And I wonder if some of those more nuanced physical characteristics can be explained - I'd hazard a guess the AC and DC might be to blame (for what it's worth my DC is in Aqua so maybe that explains why I love the quirks!) I had someone who's AC conjunct my Mars (that's in my 5th house) and, boy, did I find them hot! On the surface, physically, they were everything I could ask for - and not the traditional "babe" type either. It didn't go anywhere and once I got to know her better I could see why - emotionally, we didn't gel and following that the attraction waned. IP: Logged |
MMarie
Knowflake Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 07:46 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
I guess it depends on what how strictly you define "physical type". If you mean something as tight as "I'm only attracted to guys who are over 6ft" or "they need to slim, pale and geeky" then I'm not sure I can advise - like I said, these days I find myself attracted to all heights, shapes and sizes. Does that mean there's no physical element? Absolutely not! But I've been surprised at what *does* attract me these days - often its something I only pick up afterwards. Like the cute ears I mentioned. Or the way they style their hair. And I wonder if some of those more nuanced physical characteristics can be explained - I'd hazard a guess the AC and DC might be to blame (for what it's worth my DC is in Aqua so maybe that explains why I love the quirks!) I had someone who's AC conjunct my Mars (that's in my 5th house) and, boy, did I find them hot! On the surface, physically, they were everything I could ask for - and not the traditional "babe" type either. It didn't go anywhere and once I got to know her better I could see why - emotionally, we didn't gel and following that the attraction waned.
I’m an aqua desc and exactly like you. No type just like random things about people. Never went for the typical physical good looks. Always liked quirks or weird people. IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 08:01 PM
quote:
Originally posted by MMarie:
I’m an aqua desc and exactly like you. No type just like random things about people. Never went for the typical physical good looks. Always liked quirks or weird people.
That's quite fascinating! Makes me wonder if Aries DCs go for more butch types and Cancer DCs people with child-like characteristics too. Probably worth a thread of its own! IP: Logged |
MMarie
Knowflake Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 08:28 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
That's quite fascinating! Makes me wonder if Aries DCs go for more butch types and Cancer DCs people with child-like characteristics too. Probably worth a thread of its own!
I wonder too if Desc makes that big of an influence in attraction 🤔. I also have Uranus in the 5th house and Venus quincunx Uranus so that could add to it. But youre right...would be interesting to hear from other people!
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Brenda_S
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: Sep 2018
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posted April 14, 2019 08:50 PM
Yeah and I think it's more 5th house than 7th, being more about the innocent love or the sort. I'm more into quirky looks/personalities... And even though my fifth house cusp is Libra which wouldn't necessarily imply that, my Venus opposes Uranus so I guess that explains it. I actually have a certain despise over just that 'pretty' face. They either need to have some Aries (perhaps cuz Venus is placed in my 1st? Cuz nothing in my chart would explain this) or Uranus attached to their looks. IP: Logged |
ReachingForTheStars
Knowflake Posts: 605
From: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 14, 2019 09:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
2. If the person with the conjunct mars isn't having any of their planets stimulated by the other's Mars in turn, it might mean the attraction is more one-sided.4. Other aspects might be a significant enough turn-off to cancel out the attraction (e.g. Moon square Moon) 5. That a Mars square or opposite Venus might actually add more "zing" since the planets provoke each other as opposed to sitting in the same spot. Like might attract like, but familiarity also breeds contempt. Any thoughts?
Im going to start with point 4. I think this is true in the natal chart (as far as personal taste) and in synastry. I have Venus (me) conjunct mars with someone I know. He has a Leo moon square our Venus/Mars conjunction. My Venus is domicile and unchallenged. It makes a harmonious aspect to my moon in Capricorn. I’m not always a fan of Leo energy. I don’t like disruptions to my peace and serenity lol!! The Leos I know are much more passionate and energetic than I am. Mostly, I just like being lazy! Plus, I value things like humility and sometimes, Leos are better at expressing their pride! 😁 As attracted to him as I can be, his enthusiasm and playfulness can irritate me. Besides the square to my Venus, his moon creates a minor triangle (sextiles) to either my mercury and mars or my sun/asc and Saturn. I’m not sure of his birth time. We’re not even together. We haven’t been together. I so just wanna be “together”! 😆 Maybe only for a night because I don’t know how I’d handle that ego he seems to have. Physically, he’s not even my type. At all. Still though, the desire to be physically intimate is sooo there. I just like the way he looks at me. I feel protected. Loved. Desired. It’s not about what he looks like. I read that a Venus, mars conjunction is more of an energetic resonance. Somehow, he just stimulates me. 😊 Point 5... My soon to be ex husband has Mars in Leo square my Venus. I hate it. I cannot have a planet like Mars squaring my Venus. The moon I can tolerate. For someone else, it may work. Not me. We also have moon square moon. That one is tough. Point 2. I think so!
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ReachingForTheStars
Knowflake Posts: 605
From: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 14, 2019 10:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ChildofVenus:
No, they make it seem as if the man isn’t attracted to the woman since it’s her Mars.
Hmmm, I have mars (me) trine Venus with my current boss. Hopefully, that’ll mean a relationship with financial prosperity. I’m not attracted to him. Idk if he’s attracted to me. I hope not. This Venus/Mars trine is actually part of a kite. My mars conjunct his Pluto, sextile my Uranus conjunct his Neptune which sextiles his Venus. I have mercury opposite his Neptune, trine his Venus in aqua and Pluto in libra. This better mean financial prosperity! That’s what I was hired for! Lol If I was attracted to him and were coquettishly aggressive about it (mars in Libra 😈 ), I don’t think he’d mind. He has an Aries moon. He probably likes overt females. So, I guess a person’s chart does matter. IP: Logged |
ReachingForTheStars
Knowflake Posts: 605
From: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 14, 2019 10:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
I had someone who's AC conjunct my Mars (that's in my 5th house) and, boy, did I find them hot! On the surface, physically, they were everything I could ask for - and not the traditional "babe" type either. It didn't go anywhere and once I got to know her better I could see why - emotionally, we didn't gel and following that the attraction waned.
Ya. I’ve had the same experience with mars conjunct my ASC. As I was walking through a party once, one guy nearly stood out of his chair and pushed the person sitting in from of him out of his way to look at me. We became friends. Eventually, I found out his Mars is conjunct my sun/asc. I think Venus/Mars aspects to the ASC and sun are more indicative of physical attraction. Neptune aspects for romance, lunar aspects for emotional attraction. Venus/Mars for physical intimacy. Pluto and Saturn for attachment.
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ReachingForTheStars
Knowflake Posts: 605
From: second star to the right, and straight on till morning
Registered: Dec 2013
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posted April 14, 2019 11:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Capguy75:
looks like Wynona Ryder
Funny! According to astrotheme, her asc is at 13 degrees sag!!! I have a thing for Scorpio rising! My DSC ruler is in Scorpio and I have Venus in Taurus. IP: Logged |
Hikaru29
Knowflake Posts: 1522
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018
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posted April 15, 2019 04:27 AM
I don't know... I find all these attraction aspects very subjective. I have Venus trine Mars DW with my ex but I don't find him hot at all...sex was also boring! He even has Sun conjunct my NN in my 7th house but I never saw him as a marriage potential because he was too bossy and manipulative. I had much better sexual attraction/chemistry with Mars-Mars/Pluto contacts (I literally lust after them!) and even though one of them doesn't have Venus/Mars aspecting my Asc he said he was attracted at first sight and constantly tells me I'm beautiful... I've such a nice figure/skin etc. IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 15, 2019 06:23 PM
quote:
Originally posted by ReachingForTheStars:
Funny! According to astrotheme, her asc is at 13 degrees sag!!!I have a thing for Scorpio rising! My DSC ruler is in Scorpio and I have Venus in Taurus.
Well, whaddya know?! Obviously Sagi rising hits a sweet spot with me. It's just a shame I've got nothing going on in Gemini to match with their DC! But if there are any single Sagi risings out there, give me a call...  (joke!)
IP: Logged |
Capguy75
Knowflake Posts: 101
From:
Registered: Aug 2018
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posted April 15, 2019 06:30 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I don't know... I find all these attraction aspects very subjective. I have Venus trine Mars DW with my ex but I don't find him hot at all...sex was also boring! He even has Sun conjunct my NN in my 7th house but I never saw him as a marriage potential because he was too bossy and manipulative. I had much better sexual attraction/chemistry with Mars-Mars/Pluto contacts (I literally lust after them!) and even though one of them doesn't have Venus/Mars aspecting my Asc he said he was attracted at first sight and constantly tells me I'm beautiful... I've such a nice figure/skin etc.
Yeah, I'm sure Asc aspects aren't vital for "thinking hot at first sight" experiences. Just I think it's telling it might be one of a multitude of buttons that could get pushed, especially on the most superficial level when you nothing about the other person. In my case, its obviously something that provokes my Mars with the barest minimum of engagement. In fact, as I said, any actual engagement can quickly kill it as other aspects come into play. My Mars is also in the 5th house - as is all of Sagittarius - so it could be that intensifies the effect for me personally. IP: Logged |
Bismarck2
Knowflake Posts: 188
From:
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted April 15, 2019 08:33 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I don't know... I find all these attraction aspects very subjective. I have Venus trine Mars DW with my ex but I don't find him hot at all...sex was also boring! He even has Sun conjunct my NN in my 7th house but I never saw him as a marriage potential because he was too bossy and manipulative. I had much better sexual attraction/chemistry with Mars-Mars/Pluto contacts (I literally lust after them!) and even though one of them doesn't have Venus/Mars aspecting my Asc he said he was attracted at first sight and constantly tells me I'm beautiful... I've such a nice figure/skin etc.
What was the house synastry like? IP: Logged |
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