posted June 28, 2007 05:20 PM            

I was just wondering how you see venus in synastry. I always thought venus is the one that loves the other planet, finds it attractive etc.

For instance with sun conjunct venus, I always interpreted this connection as the venus person adoring the sun person.

Now I read on Cafeastrology that it's actually the planet person that adores/idealizes venus.
'When Venus in one chart aspects planets and points in another, the Venus person tends to get idealized and romanticized. The person with the contacted planet tends to expect a lot from Venus.' http://www.cafeastrology.com/articles/synastry.html

I would disagree with this and tend to think it's venus that adores the sun for instance. After all doesnt venus define what we like and find beautiful.

What do you think and what is your experience with venus aspects in synastry? (Especially with men being venus I would think they are the ones that are attracted.)

posted June 28, 2007 05:44 PM            

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Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted June 29, 2007 09:13 AM            

His venus/mars conjunction trines my moon and squares my mars.
Always an interesting and very intense dynamic!

posted June 29, 2007 01:06 PM            

Also, I remember a post on this forum a while back when someone asked whether a lack of venus aspects actually meant a lack of love. People came to the conclusion on that thread that this didnt have to be the case and I agree. After all strong moon connections or house placements could offset a lack of venus aspects. So while I agree that a lack of aspects to your venus doesnt necessarily mean lack of attraction or love for the planet person, I was just wondering what your experience is with the opposite - i.e. when your venus received lots and lots of aspects and very strong aspects. For instance lots of conjucntions to your venus.In these instances, with lots of venus aspects, did you notice a particularly strong attraction/love?

posted June 29, 2007 10:17 PM            

Venus is meant to stand for sexual love.. like Aphrodite. When a masculine planet aspects Venus - like Sun or Mars.. they are likely to be highly drawn to the Venus person.. as the Venus person seduces them (through their 'love' and charisma).

I'd say that in any Venus/Mars or Venus/Sun interaction.. the Venus is flightier and more independent.. The Sun and/or Mars are more stable and *chasing* Venus so to speak..

Venus might love the Sun person (for their ego) but Venus represents your own personal beauty.. the *way* you look beautiful.. so the Sun is more likely to think "wow she or he is SO beautiful".. while Venus would *love* not the looks.. but the personality (Sun)..

There can be other aspects that indicate the Venus loves the others' looks also - like a Venus/Asc conjunction or Venus/Venus conjunction.. or purely genes - If the person is drop dead gorgeous.. you'd still find them attractive (but not AS attractive.. as you would if their Venus was in close aspect to one of your personal planets)

I have been the Venus in many Mars and Sun situations.. They tend to stare and be very very centered on my looks and mesmerized BY my looks.. which gets annoying depending on the person.. The problem with Venus is – if there are no other substantial aspects.. it may turn into the Sun or Mars ONLY caring about your looks – and ignoring everything else.

I actually think the girls on this thread.. who have posted they were Venus, in the interaction – had *just* this problem..

CapnSag - if his Venus is conjunct his wife's Sun - that means he loves his wife's personality.. If your Venus is conjunct his Sun – that means you love his personality…

But when you look at it the other way around.. When your Venus is conjunct his Sun - it also means - he is very attracted to your looks - and sexuality - first and foremost - nothing much to be said about how he feels towards your personality.

In the same vein, it would mean.. his wife (Sun) loves his looks (Venus) .. but since they are married there are probably other aspects to compensate for this.. so she would also like his personality - I would assume.

posted June 29, 2007 10:29 PM            

The good side is loving and showering in affection.. the bad side withholds affection - seduces and plays games.

In a situation where Venus is not happy - the first Venusian instinct is to use your looks to hurt the Sun or Mars person.. because it feels like it's the only thing you have on them.. and you know that they get jealous easily - that sort of thing.

posted June 30, 2007 09:12 AM            

In my marriage, my ex-husband and I had an exact Moon-Venus sextile. I was the Moon. He definitely loved me more. I always had the upperhand as far as who was more loved, and in the end, I left him.

With the Pisces Psycho (my ex-husband is another Pisces psycho, rotfl! And my current bf is a Pisces Moon! I'm plagued by them, HALP!!! ), things are more murky. His Venus was exactly sextile my Sun/Mars conjunction (exact with Mars and off by 1 degree with the Sun)... you know, I never analyzed this aspect before in this way... but I think you ladies are right. We were both madly in love at one point and completely obsessed by one another, and we've both done pretty weird, crazy **** (he probably calls me the Aqua Psycho, lol) due to those feelings, so it's hard to say who loved who more (I always felt that he had the "upperhand")... BUT... I did find him so physically beautiful, it's like... he's classically handsome without being a "pretty" boy, 6'2, beautiful body, piercing blue eyes, sandy hair... but he was certainly NOT the most gorgeous man I'd ever seen, but there was something about him phsically that was so maddeningly perfect to me.

Has anyone ever made you nuts because they're so perfect for you? Well that was him. I thought he was absolute perfection, inside and out. And it's crazy, because objectively, I can tell you he's not like... crazy hot... but to me, he was perfect! LOL.

So while I was completely enarmoured of him, in every way (I have seriously never met anyone that I click with and am likeminded with about EVERYTHING, like him... we could talk for hours and hours and hours about family, religion, ideals, politics... and it would never get boring and we would never disagree), I was so sexually attracted to him, I felt like I would explode.

I used to feel bad when we first met 2 years ago, because he would talk about how wonderful I am in non-superficial ways... and I would tell him how hot he is, hahahaha!!!

I think this comes out in our Arabic Parts as well... his Mars conjuncts my Parts of Marriage and his Moon is conjunct my Parts of Fascination. His Parts of Sexual Attraction are conjunct my Sun & Mars!

Now, I've never had a straight answer on this, so this is just my own theory based on his behaviour and how I felt... but he was the one always pushing things towards a big commitment and a big thing (which he would always freak out and bail when it came to the crunch)... but me, while yes, I thought he was my soulmate and I was in love with him, I've always been sexually obsessed by him.** I haven't pushed marriage or commitment, ever. That always came from him. I am an Aqua after all! So I think the planet person feels whatever the flavour of the Arabic parts are. Just my theory.

Anyway, that's my buck fifty on the matter!

posted June 30, 2007 10:14 PM            

quote:

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Venus is the planet of love, Venus does the loving. Sun doesn't give anything away but shine upon the planet it touches. Shine and warm.

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It is the planet of sexual love.. I'm mentioning this again.. because there is no "pure" asexual love when it comes to Venus.. Aphrodite was actually the goddess of sex not love, as such. The Sun - like Mars - is a masculine planet.. Together they are the two main masculine planets - that define masculinity in astrology - the same way Moon and Venus define femininity. Venus does nothing if it doesn't seduce the living day lights out of masculine planets.. when it touches them.

The Sun wants to be loved by Venus.. If Venus withholds attention or love (or more blatantly put – sex) – or gives it to someone else.. both the Sun and Mars are about ready to explode. So an unhappy Venus – like I said above.. could easily have either of these planets around her little finger.. It's immoral (and wrong and pleasssee do not do it).. but it's easily done – in my experience. So I can't see the Sun as 'stronger' in this.. I'm talking about the conjunction here - not negative aspects.

quote:

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Sun is the only star that doesn't do anything for another.

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The Sun is not just masculinity – like Martian masculinity.. The Sun is sophisticated masculinity in my view.. The Sun does everything for both the Moon and Venus in a conjunction.. judging by this aspect alone.. I mean you can't read a chart by ONE aspect.. and there may be power struggles elsewhere - but I doubt this is what would be causing the power struggles astrologically speaking.

When I say the Sun does everything - I mean.. The Sun takes care of the Moon - financially for instance, by buying stuff.. or the Sun wines and dines Venus.. etc.. They play a very masculine role so what they do is 'take care' of the feminine planet in that traditional sense.

quote:

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Your planet does all the work-the Sun only accept it or reject it.

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I disagree with this. The Sun works as much as any other planet in a relationship - in my opinion. It's always a give and take between the two planets involved. What changes is: *what they give* and *what they take*.

Hi Annaf,

quote:

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I'm just wondering, dont you think it makes a big difference whether it is the woman's venus or the man's venus that is involved in a sun-venus conjunction?

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I was thinking this as well.. In theory, you could say that women play out their Venus – so they look like their Venus sign and attract and seduce in that way.. whereas men don't play it out but rather seek it in a woman.. something along those lines.

posted July 01, 2007 12:26 AM            

My feeling on Venus aspects is that when Venus is touched by another planet her love, affection, sensuality and appreciation for beauty is 'stimulated' by that planet. For instance, if venus is trine Mercury, then the Venus person my have a tremdous appreciation for the beauty of how the Mercury person speaks, the sound of their voice, their accent ect. While, on the otherhand, the Mercury person is able to 'see'and 'feel' the venus persons soft, appreciative regard for their ideas and thus is very attracted to speaking to them. They get a 'buzz' out of Venus' reaction to them.
The other planet is able 'feel'and 'see' Venus, while Venus simply feels her nature as being stimulated depending on the nature of the planet in question. When the planet is neutral like mercury this can be very innocent. But what do you think happens when a planet like Mars (physical energy, raw sexual drive) is able to...ahem...'see' and 'feel' Venus (beauty, sensuality, appreciation) in this way. Mars goes wild with physical attraction for Venus' beauty, while Venus has her love/sensuality nature stimulated by Mars' force. His aggressive attention turns her on. She knows he wants her bad, and she can't help but flirt, tease, respond. She loves to incite mars, because for her, seeing mars in action is beautiful.

posted July 01, 2007 05:23 AM              

With the guy im sooo in love we share a grand trine which includes his Sun and my Venus and Mars. Also have Sun-Moon DW (my Moon conjunct his Sun and my Sun sextile his Moon, i can see myself in him, and vica versa) and on the top his Sun is falling in my first house.

All i can say is that he is really THE EVERYTHING for me... i love, adore and respect him at the same time,not to mention the physical attraction. Its overwhelming.
(oh,and we also have my venus square his mars and his Moon square my Pluto... very,very intense and deep feelings (but also can be obsessed which can cause some trouble)

and as Jazzebel said, the Sun gives warm and shine, i really agree on that, with him i've always felt myself as a better, a happier person, like his personality has added to mine, we've enjoyed every single moment, and never argued.
I felt like i would fly,lol

CoralF

quote:

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When I say the Sun does everything - I mean.. The Sun takes care of the Moon - financially for instance, by buying stuff.. or the Sun wines and dines Venus.. etc.. They play a very masculine role so what they do is 'take care' of the feminine planet in that traditional sense.

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posted July 01, 2007 06:58 AM            

He said to me "you know, I've never met anyone like you before, so perfect for me... it's like you're a great friend to have, and you're totally hot and I want to have sex with you and I can also bring you around my family and I know they would like you just as much as I do... I've never had a woman before that fits all those things"...

And honestly, I think he can't deal with it. The stakes are too high. He's terrified of being vulnerable and getting hurt. And I also believe that he's scared of settling. I think he thinks I am wonderful and all those things, but as soon as it comes to the crunch, he starts fault finding and I really believe he starts to think he's selling himself short and that he can do better.

I don't believe we have a future because he is someone that absolutely CANNOT deal with conflict with women/affairs of the heart, he just completely shuts down and disappears and how are you supposed to have a relationship with someone like that? I've met people like him before, and you can usually coax them out by stressing how understanding and reasonable you are going to be, reassuring them that it's not going to be some major catastrophe because there are things that need to be aired out and discussed... but him? Nothing works. I've been through it twice now.

I can never put myself through it again. Both times it was completely harrowing to go from feeling the impossible high of feeling like you've found the love of your life and they love you too and the world is this bright, beautiful, amazing place... to just suddenly being shut out... and you think just overnight, he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't feel the same... was it all a lie? Why won't he talk to you?

It's probably one of the worst things that has ever happened to me and I've lived it twice, with the same person. I allowed us to be friends after the first time and I listened to him blather on about how he will regret screwing things up with us for the rest of his life, repeatedly, for a year and a half... he wrote a song, he cried, he made me believe he really treasured me as a person and as a friend... and then when I let him in again... He told me he loved me and never stopped loving me...

And then shut me out again.

So... no more. Next lifetime. I couldn't live through it again. I'm not being a drama queen, last summer I cried every night and I thought I was going to get an ulcer or something from the heartache and the constant burning sensation whenever I thought of him. I felt like I was going to die of heartbreak. It's seriously how I felt.

posted July 01, 2007 08:30 AM            

I've been through this with Pisces before.. and have seen friends – male Pisceans - who have been through it with other girls.. I also have a Pisces Mercury so I think I do understand it.
The problem is that realistically there is no such thing as the perfect romance.. Reality and Neptune go together like chalk and cheese.

If you want a fairytale - if you - like me - are the girl who watched Beauty and the Beast - 8 times over as a child and cried every time - then offcourse you'll fall in love with a Piscean.. because Pisces plays a character his entire life.. He watched Beauty and the Beast as well and he is still acting it out. Unfortunately they can't keep it up forever or live up to the HUGE expectations they build..

If you think carefully about WHY you were this disappointed in him.. it must have been your expectations. You expected him to be so much more than a normal every day guy (because he painted that picture – unintentionally) .. but he isn't a prince or a knight in shying armour or even a noble Beast who turns into a prince at the end.. you know? right before the part where you live happily ever after.. He is well and truly – just another man. However much he wants to be something else, amazing acting skills and all.. he can't play a character for a life time. If you think this hurts you.. believe me, he is a constant disappointment to himself.. because he expects himself to be all of those things.

quote:

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I've met people like him before, and you can usually coax them out by stressing how understanding and reasonable you are going to be, reassuring them that it's not going to be some major catastrophe because there are things that need to be aired out and discussed... but him? Nothing works.

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posted July 01, 2007 06:35 PM            

'When I was Venus they were very physically attracted.. When I was the Sun, they were attracted But it was a lot more than that and they *loved* my personality..'

So do you mean that in your experience when it was the man's venus the men were strongly attracted to you physically but in addition also loved your personality?

With the example of the colleague and my friend I cant really remember what major other aspects there were. I just remember that it was a tight sun- venus conjunction and that his venus was strongly aspected by her planets.

posted July 03, 2007 01:32 AM            

You know, I really never expected him to be perfect and I was well-aware of all his flaws, the amazing thing about him was that I knew his flaws... and I loved everything about them too! I thought, this will cause difficulties, but... I'd rather have those difficulties than any myriad of others!

I know this means nothing to him, because the problem is his perception of himself and how he will eventually let me/himself down and I think your analysis on that is sooo right on about "why"...

The funn thing is I spent months and months beating myself up over this "rejection" thinking I'm not hot enough for him, I'm not interesting enough, not accomplished enough, not thin enough... It's only in the last few months that I realize it really had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his intimacy issues and his issues with wanting the ideal... of himself, of who he ultimately ends up with and of the realtionship forever and ever.

He wants PERFECTION... and I'm sorry to say, he's never going to find it, because flawless people and falwless relationships don't exist.

It's the flaws that make us beautiful and vibrant and brilliant and give us depth and make us what we are.

I really don't think he gets that and the way you presented it CoralFrequency... is spot on.

I feel sorry for him, but ME... the quinessential Aqua who treasures and exalts friendship... I've been so burnt by him and I know I'm so vulnerable to him if I let him... that I cannot even be his friend, not even just a little bit, not even to help him.

posted July 05, 2007 12:48 AM            

I emailed you not long ago.. so you can mail me the data

Annaf,

quote:

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So do you mean that in your experience when it was the man's venus the men were strongly attracted to you physically but in addition also loved your personality?

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When it was the man's Venus they were in love.. with the person I am.. put it that way.. The attraction was secondary and more like 'she's beautiful' kind of thing.. It wasn't a strong physical attraction. It was more like affection or love.

I've also had the double whammy – with my ex - sun/venus oppositions both ways.. and with a friend - sun/venus conjunctions both ways .. This felt very in sink, in my experience, attraction mixed with love.

JupitersGirl,

quote:

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How about venus conjunct mars? What would venus person love about mars person?

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I've only had this when I was Venus and they were the Mars - with two different guys.. I loved the way they approached me, their walk.. mannerisms, the way they behaved overall. You get so close with Venus/Mars that as the Venus person.. you feel their actions. It's almost like you know exactly what they'll do and how they'll act.. Reminds me of the "every move you make.. every step you take" song.
Actually both Mars and Venus are very alert to each other.. It's like you can't hide anything at all.. Neither can they.. because the smallest action makes it obvious that you're THAT into each other.. and it's strangely noticeable to others as well.. People never leave you alone (which can actually become annoying).. They find it so interesting they can't stop getting involved.

Possessiveness and jealously can ruin this aspect. What I most disliked in Mars was possessiveness and self-centeredness. I'm not sure whether it would play out the same with the woman being Mars.. I'm guessing Venus would like the same things about you – your actions and the way you approach him.

VenusdeMilo,