posted August 04, 2019 07:33 AM            

A lot of passion, a lot of sweetness (that Moon-Moon conjunction and Mars falling in my 8th house), a lot of communication, chatting and hours on the phone when we were long-distance (Mercury trine Mercury and Mercury-Moon contacts).

But at the end, he thought we were not just compatible. The break up has been hard, I’ve been drawning into anxiety for a month or so…

I can see that I don’t activate his relationship houses (8th and 7th), while he does, but my planets make contacts to the rulers of this houses. The two Mercuries (rulers of our Moons) are trine, and his Mercury is also the ruler of his 8th house.

My Pluto and Venus are opposite his Sun, ruler of the 7th house. Can this have something to do with him not seeing me as the ideal? But he also said that he just loved some things of me, he had never had before something similar – he was also single for more than 10 years, his life has not been easy so far, and he had many "flings" but nothing serious... – like talking for hours, spending a lot of money to do the trips and to pay for me, he usually doesn’t offer meals to a woman and with me he did, etc.
For me, the sweetness was just incredible… I was very tender with him (a lot of Neptune trines from my side).

The charts:

Synastry http://imgur.com/a/UBGP609

our composite http://imgur.com/a/HH1EGZK

davison http://imgur.com/a/GxqOFau

posted August 05, 2019 04:04 AM            

The composite Sun-Jupiter conjunction does show very happy & optimistic feelings and Pluto adds intensity.

I think the issue may be the affliction from your 12H Saturn in harsh aspects to Sun/Moon/Jupiter. Saturn 12H can mean personal baggage and unconscious feelings of limitations... squaring Sun/Jupiter = feelings of restriction within the partnership. I read that Sun-Saturn hard aspects relationship can feel too serious at times like it's a responsibility/obligation. Saturn-Moon shows both of you often not on the same page emotionally. One may find the other cold at times. Because Saturn is in the hidden 12H, probably explains why you feel that this breakup is very "abrupt". Sun square Moon also not helpful in creating strong affinity although it shows attraction.

posted August 05, 2019 05:05 AM            

Here's the synastry grid.
(Me= horizontal)

He cared for me but not enough, towards the end he said "he hadn't feel nothing"; in terms of physical attraction he did feel a lot, but he didn't feel like he was "in love" and felt the "sparks".

Yet it was weird because if I said that he hadn't loved me, he was very upset, and sad, and used to tell me all the things he had done because he cared, and that yes, he had loved me. So contradictory.

In any case tenderness and sweetness were incredible between us, and we could go on for hours just cuddling (those Moons I suspect...), but sometimes I was the one seeing him as harsh and cold (Saturn, he has also Aqua asc.). I think that both of us were using defense mechanisms in the relationships and we took things very personally (opinions, etc.). He is also very paranoid and makes everything bigger than it is.

posted August 05, 2019 06:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Chaitaly:
http://imgur.com/a/KeVovFo

Here's the synastry grid.
(Me= horizontal)

He cared for me but not enough, towards the end he said "he hadn't feel nothing"; in terms of physical attraction he did feel a lot, but he didn't feel like he was "in love" and felt the "sparks".

Yet it was weird because if I said that he hadn't loved me, he was very upset, and sad, and used to tell me all the things he had done because he cared, and that yes, he had loved me. So contradictory.

In any case tenderness and sweetness were incredible between us, and we could go on for hours just cuddling (those Moons I suspect...), but sometimes I was the one seeing him as harsh and cold (Saturn, he has also Aqua asc.). I think that both of us were using defense mechanisms in the relationships and we took things very personally (opinions, etc.). He is also very paranoid and makes everything bigger than it is.

My Neptune maybe didn't help either and I basically fell love for someone that existed only in my mind.

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posted August 05, 2019 08:56 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
You do have sexual attraction (c.Venus square Mars) but not enough lovey-dovey aspects. c.Moon only has a trine to Mercury... and square to Jupiter is not bad. Venus only has a square to Mars. For a romantic r/s, you want these 2 planets to be well-aspected. On top of that you have Saturn throwing cold water on the r/s.

This is probably a case of not enough good to counter the bad.

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posted August 06, 2019 07:05 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi Chaitaly, I agree with everything Hiraku said about the Composite aspects, especially about Saturn 12th house...

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Hi Stoika! Nice to meet you!
It’s curious because it’s the same aspect my divorced parents have in their compo and I’ve always thought that, along with other things, this was one of the aspects related to the fact that their relationship/interaction proved to be something so disturbing and heavy…

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I would add that in synastry your Saturn/Mercury opposite his Moon/Chiron conjunction in 4th house looks painful. It looks like your intimacy and your intellectual exchange took him to expose himself a lot at his psychological wounds level and since he has Uranus opposite to the same conjunction, he might deny such issue to himself... so the fact that he had to face some of his emotional issues in your relationship might have caused a sort of rejection from his part.

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First thing I have to say I really like your approach and your analysis!
So, I noticed at the beginning that we were quite similar and that we have similar wounds; both with Moon conjunct Chiron in Gemini and with a natal opposition of Saturn to our Moons;
both Moons in the deep and sensitive water houses (the 4th for him, 8th for me); emotional issues, wounded emotions, difficulty in expressing them, repression of deep emotions during childhood etc.
He also said to me once: “We have the same wound”. He’s very analytical and he’s able to see “through”, a quality of him that always fascinated me.

Btw, I think, as you have correctly pointed out, that part of our relationship triggered those wounds, insecurities, fears, we where never totally relaxed towards each other… even though there was affection. I had really begun to trust him a lot but he left me abruptly revealing his cold facet, breaking that trust in a nasty manner…

And yes, one day I went very deep in his issues and he told me that it was “the most private part of himself”; he rejected me the day after saying it was over.

quote:

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Then his Uranus is also opposite your Chiron, so this might have had an abrupt reaction hitting your own psychological vulnerability as well... His mercury/venus is also square to your neptune, and this looks like you have idealized him somehow, receiving a big disappointment...

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Yes, when he said it was over I experienced one of the worst feelings of my life, it went soo deep. Never felt so bad in years. It was literally a nightmare for me, the worst break up ever. I didn’t expect it in the strongest terms. Anxiety and panic attacks for a month.

I’m going on now. He is already looking for someone new (after so little time…).
So I cut off all contacts forever.
Taking time to heal and I’m also seeing a therapist.

I feel like the break up has pushed me to do some analysis and work on my issues.
He's moving on too fast instead.

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Then, your Pluto/Venus square to his Jupiter looks like he might have felt emotionally stressed out somehow... and this looks in tune with the Saturn opposite his Chiron/Moon... Btw, your Moon conjunct to his Chiron in the 4th house shows the intense intimacy between you two... and that he might have been feeling your warmth and protection at emotional level at first.

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Yes! At the beginning he said that he felt very protected - a motherly type of protection. And he liked it a lot.
But at the same time he projected his mother-related issues over me, the fun part is that we had a conversation about it and he acknowledged that he was doing it…

And yes, towards the end he had this image of me like I was “oppressive”, but it’s just the fact that deep down I needed to be reassured of his love and interest with little attentions…
He has an Aries Venus, very passionate, but can’t really meet my Venus-Pluto deepest needs for love I think…

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His Jupiter trine to your Moon/Chiron and his Sun trine to your Neptune gave a lot of wishful thinking and let you feel deeply connected to him on a mental level as well, morever his Mercury/Venus is trine to your Mercury/Saturn. So you felt there was such a strong bond at both mental and intimate level... Basically, from the synastry, it looks like this relationship was a challange to him at psychological/emotional level...

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I did feel connected, I felt we were, and yet, in the end, he said he didn’t feel connected to me and that he had never felt so.
Don’t know what to believe
(he has always had severe issues feeling connected to anyone btw).

I would have never left him -not now, at least.

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In the Composite, the Chiron/Moon conjunct DSC opposite Saturn in 12th house show this intense emotional involvement and struggle at psychological level somehow, with Uranus playing as an abrutp breakup somehow but also as a factor compelling to face issues... whereas Saturn in 12th house square Sun/Jupiter in 3rd house becomes a psychological burden... Since Saturn is in Sagittarius square to Jupiter attached to the Sun, this shows the karmic nature of the relationship, posing a challenge... this looks like an higher form of love, where the two might have to let go some of their own strong mental structures... in fact Neptune in Capricorn first house opposite Psyche squarew Eros suggests there's a fragile balance between each individual psychological structure and intimacy, which is your glue at the same time on a deepest level with the Grand Trine formed by Sun/Pluto/Psyche.

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The psychological burden of Saturn in the 12th is shared?
I like the expression “a higher form of love”, I would like to understand better this one.

It was evident in our interaction that we were dismantling some of our previous thoughts/beliefs, this happened starting from the small things, and we also stated this to each other. So we were conscious of the challenge in some way because of our differences.

He had always sad that sweetness was the thing that could save us, but that at a certain point it was not going to be enough. And that moment arrived, when it wasn’t enough.
And yes, the intimacy -and sweetness- was there even in the end, when he was leaving me, and the last day we saw each other he said: “There’s intimacy between us even now”. We literally wanted to jump on each other in a sweet-savage way but we didn’t so to avoid getting hurt.

posted August 06, 2019 03:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:

From the synastry, it doesn't look he wasnt affected by the connection, on the contrary it looks like the imapct was hitting him in ways he would not be willing to face, on a subconscious level.

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He has a lot of personal issues to face, very hard ones; I think he was affected, but he went into denial.
In any case, he said he hadn’t fallen in love.
There was also a strong criticism by his side lately, again this could be Saturn -the critic, the “teacher”.
He made me feel like I couldn’t reach his standards -not a lovely feeling at all XD

He is moving on very quickly, he’s on dating apps now; doesn’t really seem concerned; maybe Venus in Aries people move on quickly... And me, well, I’m better now since I cut all contacts, and I’m looking forward.
But I cannot really imagine how could I date someone else now or even be touched by another man.
And yet he can.
We have lived this very differently...

quote:

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with his natal Mercury square Neptune and Mars opposite Saturn, he might have not expressed the uncomfortable feeling for a while and then it all came out in an abrupt unexpected way.

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Yes, he was harbouring inside all these feelings and discontent and instead of being honest with me and giving me the opportunity to help him, or do something to save the relationship, he just decided to hide it, he “played” a part till the end (he admitted this) and then caught me by surprise.

posted August 06, 2019 08:07 PM            

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I’ve always wondered what that south node on the Asc could mean; furthermore, the node falls in the 12th house, and the Nn on the Desc falls in the 6th;
so I never really understood whether it has to do more with the me-relationships axis (1st-7th) or the 12-6th houses.
What do you think, if I may ask?
I’d really appreciate if you could enlighten me on this aspect, since we are talking about it...

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Well, you're right about the NN 6th house! I actually think that since it's conjunct DSC, it still has to do with a karmic impact on your relationships. Even though, the 6th house is more about "work", self-control, analythical approach... it is an hosue that usually gives a constant dedication/analysis about something... in this case, since it's opposite ASC, such constant "work" is about your Self development/self expression. The SN on the ASC usually gives a poor sense of your individuality/ego, shyness, insecurity about one's own direction in life... the fact taht it is in 12th house, it gives the person a deep sense of belonging to the outer world more than to your own individuality, compassion, selfless attitude, sense of sacrifrice, as an identity/self aknowledgement trait. It is also a psychic aspect, and since its square to neptune, the person might develope some "mystic" vision/philosophy. With the NN in 6th house opposite ASC, the person might be devoted in constantly looking for his role/place in the world or his own direction in life or in achieving such sense of self-aknowledgement. Since this is trine to your Sun/Uranus in 3rd house Sagittarius, you might turn this attitude into an intellectual/philosophical process as a basic state of mind. Morever, NN/DSC is square to your Neptune... this is a great aspect for visual artists, like photographers, cinematographers, screenwriters, poets, writers. It is an aspect of great creativity and imagination. It is also an aspect for those who prefer isolation or working on their own, these people usually dont like to be in the spotlight. This aspect might let you also feel alienated sometimes, or that you're "different" and see things differently than the mainstream mindset.

posted August 07, 2019 04:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
[QUOTE][b] I’ve always wondered what that south node on the Asc could mean; furthermore, the node falls in the 12th house, and the Nn on the Desc falls in the 6th;
so I never really understood whether it has to do more with the me-relationships axis (1st-7th) or the 12-6th houses.
What do you think, if I may ask?
I’d really appreciate if you could enlighten me on this aspect, since we are talking about it...

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Well, you're right about the NN 6th house! I actually think that since it's conjunct DSC, it still has to do with a karmic impact on your relationships. Even though, the 6th house is more about "work", self-control, analythical approach... it is an hosue that usually gives a constant dedication/analysis about something... in this case, since it's opposite ASC, such constant "work" is about your Self development/self expression. The SN on the ASC usually gives a poor sense of your individuality/ego, shyness, insecurity about one's own direction in life... the fact taht it is in 12th house, it gives the person a deep sense of belonging to the outer world more than to your own individuality, compassion, selfless attitude, sense of sacrifrice, as an identity/self aknowledgement trait. It is also a psychic aspect, and since its square to neptune, the person might develope some "mystic" vision/philosophy. With the NN in 6th house opposite ASC, the person might be devoted in constantly looking for his role/place in the world or his own direction in life or in achieving such sense of self-aknowledgement. Since this is trine to your Sun/Uranus in 3rd house Sagittarius, you might turn this attitude into an intellectual/philosophical process as a basic state of mind. Morever, NN/DSC is square to your Neptune... this is a great aspect for visual artists, like photographers, cinematographers, screenwriters, poets, writers. It is an aspect of great creativity and imagination. It is also an aspect for those who prefer isolation or working on their own, these people usually dont like to be in the spotlight. This aspect might let you also feel alienated sometimes, or that you're "different" and see things differently than the mainstream mindset.

Prego!! :-))[/B][/QUOTE]

posted August 08, 2019 04:27 PM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
My pleasure!!
Well, your natal Sun/Uranus and Neptune in 3rd house with Chiron in Gemini opposite Saturn/Mercury in Sagittarius makes you certainly a talent in teaching, I believe! Saturn in Sagittarius on its own is very inclined to teaching as a self-fullfilling outlet. Your creative insecurity is given mainly from the SN conjunct ASC, I believe. But since this is a karmic element, it usually leads you to overcome such insecurity, especially about art and creativity, which is a trait of this aspect.
So good luck with all your plans and talk to you soon again! ❤️

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posted August 08, 2019 10:24 PM            

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Originally posted by Chaitaly:
@Stoika
if you've got time can you chime in in the thread "For Chaitaly" so you can help with the reading of the composite/davison of this couple?
I read the synastry, but I'd like to have your insight

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posted August 09, 2019 09:45 AM            

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi Cha, thank you for asking for my take! Since he asked for your insight, I am afraid to be invasive, unless he agrees to have my opinion as well, so maybe you can ask him before I join you guys in the thread?
Btw, I quickly checked their Composite... I have the feeling she's not up for committment and might be emotionally unpredictable... The comp. Saturn on 7th house opposite ASC/Moon/Chiron is a concern on its own, and the rs might come out oppressive for her. He might want to rule the rs, while she's quite independent and would not accept limitations. Comp. Uranus and Saturn opposite ASC looks very unstable,and Pluto square to Sun/Venus/NN is even potentially abusive... The Nodes aspects signal this is an highly karmic challenging rs. The attraction and the intimacy can be intense, as much as the potential control and obsessive issues. But as I said, I'm not sure she will be up for this, they seem to have two different emotioanl worlds. If they do start a rs, they will have to be willing to compromise a lot.

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