posted September 25, 2019 10:50 PM            

Im a Sag Sun
Scorpio Moon, ASC and Mars
Cap Venus

I have been in a long relationship with Sag Sun, Aries Moon and Mars, Sag Venus man and it just wasnt working out, took us 8 long years to come to that even though he still wants us together, but that would be far too toxic.
I would love to post our synastry and/or composite but i don't know how.

Now I am seeing another Sag Sun, but this time Cancer Moon, Scorpio Venus, Pisces Mars

With both I have a few Saturn conjunctions(there is some Saturn in rest of the chart too not just conj), Suns conjunct with both, Sun/Uranus DW with both
With the 1st: Sun/Saturn DW Saturn/Uranus one way, Saturn/Neptune;
2nd: Sun/Saturn and Saturn/Uranus one way, Saturn/Mercury

First one however we have Moon/Pluto conjunct and Mars/Pluto conj plus Sun/Moon trine, and with the second one Venus/Mars conj, Venus/Pluto conj, Sun opp Moon..just to mention a few.

I feel both relationships are VERY fated and karmic, but i don't want to go through hell and back with the 2nd one like i did with the 1st one and I am definitely already STUCK.

posted September 26, 2019 08:54 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Saggy7:
Anyone plz??

---

posted September 26, 2019 09:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MyRealName:
Remove the "s" in https links. It should be http:

---

posted September 27, 2019 12:51 AM            

Why am I attracted to these kind of relationships that esentially don't bring me happiness when all I really want is stability and to build a future with someone is also something that worries me. But i felt/feel closest to these 2 men....:/

1st guy definitely hard to let go esp for him, I am checked out due to all the ups and downs, but still in touch. Very draining. Also I sense with time had we stayed together, it would have the potential to become physically abusive on his side.

With the current guy I am definitely struggling (it is the reason why I walked away a few times and came back), last time I did that left an even bitter taste especially for him because I think we have made significant progress. Slowly we are becoming closer again, but I wonder until when....thoughts of him not wanting what i want are always present, but im still here just living through it until it eventually comes to an end..which i have no telling when that will be.

Is it safe to say that he does NOT think of me/us long term?

posted September 27, 2019 02:28 AM            

quote:

---

Why am I attracted to these kind of relationships that esentially don't bring me happiness when all I really want is stability and to build a future with someone is also something that worries me.

---

posted September 27, 2019 04:28 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
With the first guy, despite the ups and downs, there was an underlying sense of strong committment, with the MC/IC conjunction, and with Neptune and Saturn conjunction... the Comp NN in 7th house also shows that both had a clear stand in this "belonging together" and the lilith on ASC shows it was felt subconsciously and deeply. Yes unfortunately there is an abusive potential with comp Nessus in first house, but it looks subtle and I'm not sure it would actually play out physically... but certainly draining on a psychological level.

The second guy has strong insecurity issues about his own self-worth and life direction that he needs to work out, cause this makes him quite pessimistic sometimes and blocks him in planning his emotional life, and also this affects your relationship, in fact his chiron is opposite to your Sun/Sun conjunction, but he actually should feel quite strong about you, cause his Pluto/Venus conjunct your Asc/Pluto/Mars and I would expect your relationship to actually inspire him in a positive way... The problem here is that the Composite Uranus square Jupiter/DSC is a very challenging aspect cause it makes very hard to "fix" the unstable structure of the relationship, especially since the Neptune square DSC/NN is also there, adding the uncertain purpose, i.e., you might not understand where the other stands. Too bad cause the NN 7th house and Jupiter/DSC is a great potential for happyness, and also saturn conjunct the stellium looks like a potential long term bond, so you might have a chance if you learn how to deal with those different attitudes about the rs and develope the more positive energies between you.

---

I am completely amazed how accurate all this is. You nailed it with the 2nd guy insecurities/self worth issues and I am definitely trying to be supportive and inspiring. He also doesnt seem to be too much of an assertive person when it comes to things he wants to achieve maybe its his Pisces Mars but also with us he seems to go with the flow (which is deff a HUGE change after having to deal with an Aries Mars for years (1st guy)

posted September 27, 2019 04:46 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
[QUOTE][b]Why am I attracted to these kind of relationships that esentially don't bring me happiness when all I really want is stability and to build a future with someone is also something that worries me.

---

Thank you so much for this detailed description also. It definitely rings true with the impulsiveness and need for stability intertwining.
I do live thinking it will all fall in place someday whenever that might be when Im mentally and emotionally ready and prepared due to self discovery and the lessons I have to learn.

That is why sometimes I think it might happen with the 2nd guy, but it would definitely be a journey and a very rewarding one.
But I'm trying not to be too hung up on that so I don't get heartbroken.

I guess that's life, just have to wait and find out...

posted September 27, 2019 04:52 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
With the first guy, despite the ups and downs, there was an underlying sense of strong committment, with the MC/IC conjunction, and with Neptune and Saturn conjunction... the Comp NN in 7th house also shows that both had a clear stand in this "belonging together" and the lilith on ASC shows it was felt subconsciously and deeply. Yes unfortunately there is an abusive potential with comp Nessus in first house, but it looks subtle and I'm not sure it would actually play out physically... but certainly draining on a psychological level.

The second guy has strong insecurity issues about his own self-worth and life direction that he needs to work out, cause this makes him quite pessimistic sometimes and blocks him in planning his emotional life, and also this affects your relationship, in fact his chiron is opposite to your Sun/Sun conjunction, but he actually should feel quite strong about you, cause his Pluto/Venus conjunct your Asc/Pluto/Mars and I would expect your relationship to actually inspire him in a positive way... The problem here is that the Composite Uranus square Jupiter/DSC is a very challenging aspect cause it makes very hard to "fix" the unstable structure of the relationship, especially since the Neptune square DSC/NN is also there, adding the uncertain purpose, i.e., you might not understand where the other stands. Too bad cause the NN 7th house and Jupiter/DSC is a great potential for happyness, and also saturn conjunct the stellium looks like a potential long term bond, so you might have a chance if you learn how to deal with those different attitudes about the rs and develope the more positive energies between you.

---

I forgot to ask, what is "rs" and dear Stoika, what can I do on my part to help deal with those different attitudes and developing more positive energies ?

posted September 27, 2019 06:29 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Saggy7:
I forgot to ask, what is "rs" and dear Stoika, what can I do on my part to help deal with those different attitudes and developing more positive energies ?

---

I swear God, I dont know why in my former reply the green LOL appeared! (LOL!!)

Sorry, "rs" means relationship :-))

What you can do... good question. I guess that being aware of the issue and of this "unstable" yet intense and exciting dynamics and energies in your chart, it is a start to keep the negative feelings under control, even though I am so aware that in reality it is not easy at all !
Well, the Composite Neptune/Mars trine Moon sextile Pluto is a very strong emotional and intimate/sensual aspect of your "rs" that you certainly need to nurture, then your stellium with saturn, uranus and ceres suggests that there might be actually a lot of alternative, outgoing and lovely ways to find for you guys to be definitely emotionally on the same page, this is in the third house so the communication and intellectual exchange should be the most comfortable place where to develope your intimacy and closeness. And Uranus always points to the most friendly, unselfish feelings, possibily keeping some of your individual spaces and freedom in order to keep getting along well :-)

posted September 27, 2019 10:41 AM            

Would you say that in this relationship him or I have the potential to get more hurt ? Could that be seen?

posted September 27, 2019 08:30 PM            

quote:

---

Would you say that in this relationship him or I have the potential to get more hurt ? Could that be seen?

---

Whether he doesnt give you a more stable feeling and clarity on the long run, you would be the one to get more hurted. Whether you are tempted to be controlling or demanding clear committment, he might feel the burden, but eventually I assume that with your Scorpio Pluto/ASC and Chiron 8th house, you'd be the one to be hurted the most in any case (in the worst case scenario).

quote:

---

Also Stoika, do you think that any of these 2 relationships is karmic or twin flame/soulmate connection or not really?:/

---

In karmic terms, I have the feeling that even though the first one gave a more clear direction towards committiment, the relationship wasn't helping you in solving inner past issues but got draining and frustrating instead. You might have felt the "karmic lesson" thrown at you in a too aggressive way, or so, even though you might be able to actually get aware of the "lesson" once you're completely detached from this relationship.

For some reason, you might feel more similar to the second person, and having his Pluto/Venus on your 12th house, you might feel him as "soulmate material" more than the former one. The thing is that they have some similar aspects, so you likely had a similar feeling with the first person as well. But I'd dare to say that it could be about a projection, a mirroring of yourself, more than soulmates. They are both certainly there to contribute and trigger your Chiron and its ability to master your neptunian versus plutonian energy, in fact there are some significant 12th house aspects and karmic composite placements (first guy, composite SN/Nessus and Lilith 12th house conjunct asc - 2nd guy, composite Moon/Nessus 12 house), but you dont have powerful nodal contacts with neither of them.

posted September 27, 2019 08:43 PM            

Stoika, lastly I'd like to ask, from your experience, have relationships known to work without those Nodal contacts or they always have to be present?

Also, on astro.com I chose the synastry with asteroids, would it make any difference had i posted the one with asc/dsc?

posted September 29, 2019 12:09 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Saggy7:
have relationships known to work without those Nodal contacts or they always have to be present?

---

It can work, but in significant relationships you usually find strong nodal contacts!
Actually, I need to apologise, cause I wasnt correct at all! Sorry, i must be blind....
I was focusing on Composite, but checking the synastry charts again, you actually have strong nodal contacts with both !
With the first guy, your NN is square to his Sun and sextile to his Jupiter. This certainly gives a strong "soulmate material" feeling, as you might see him as "the one".
But this happens also with the second guy, your NN square to his Sun as well, but here his NN is also conjunct to your Jupiter, so this looks even more fated. Also in Composite, with the second guy you have Moon in 12th house and NN square to neptune and MC. Unfortunately, these are not signs of long term, even though this is not necessarily true, depending on how you deal with such unstable traits, but since you have a strong neptunian trait you might actually learn to deal with such instability. Basically, it seems they are both significant karmic relationships, somehow both meant to bring a certain awareness in your life about your relationship sphere and attitude, since NN is always in 7th house. With the first guy, opposition aspects to Composite Chiron were harsher, so the relationship might have hit your own most vulnerable subconscious issues (Lilith conjunct ASC)... With the second guy, the balance over you emotions might be the "weak" point, or the sphere you might find more awareness about (just a guess from the Composite Moon in twelve house conjunct Nessus).

quote:

---

Also, on astro.com I chose the synastry with asteroids, would it make any difference had i posted the one with asc/dsc?

---

With asteroids, you just have more data... I usually choose the default style and then I add asteroids from the list below, but I dont think it makes much difference!

quote:

---

Ps. In reality, I'd like to ask u a ton of other things, but im trying hard not to abuse your good will 😁 lol

---

Dont worry at all! You can ask whatever you like, I just hope I have all (correct!) answers, lol ❤️

posted September 30, 2019 06:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
Dont worry at all! You can ask whatever you like, I just hope I have all (correct!) answers, lol ❤️

---

Hi Stoika, thank you, you are a sweetheart.

On one of the websites,the synastry shows I have with guy 2:

NN conjunct Jupiter
NN trine Mercury
NN trine Saturn
NN inconjunct Moon

And it seems to always be HIS North Node.

Not sure how accurate this is since it's a different source (I think astrotheme is the website)

posted September 30, 2019 11:32 PM            

For karmic indication, you look especially at conjunctions and eventually other aspects to that conjunction... trines on their own are usually harmonic aspects (i.e. NN trine Mercury signals he feels comfortable in talking to you and feeling mentally in tune)... NN inconjunct Moon can point to emotional issues or that the emotional sphere might not develope/manifest in complete harmony.

Yes, with the second guy it's HIS NN conjunct your Jupiter, while your NN is square to his Sun, the latter same as with the first guy.

posted October 01, 2019 11:28 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stoika7:
For karmic indication, you look especially at conjunctions and eventually other aspects to that conjunction... trines on their own are usually harmonic aspects (i.e. NN trine Mercury signals he feels comfortable in talking to you and feeling mentally in tune)... NN inconjunct Moon can point to emotional issues or that the emotional sphere might not develope/manifest in complete harmony.

---

Sorry, can I interject to ask a quick qn on Nodes?

@Stoika,
How would you interpret these contacts in Synastry?

My Saturn square his Nodes 1°
My Nodes square his IC/MC EXACT
My SN conjunct his H13 Lilith 3°
My Moon sextile his NN 4°
My Venus trine his NN 2°

I'm especially concern with the squares to Saturn/IC/MC and curious about the contact with his H13.

I know usually conj/square/opp are considered in Nodes contacts but we also have: