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Author
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Topic: Why does he avoid me?
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SweetScorpioLeo
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2017
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posted November 17, 2019 04:02 PM
  
Hi,can somebody please look into this? I would be really grateful! I like this guy so much, or to be more exact I am quite infatuated. For a while it seemed to me that he was interested, looking directly in the eyes when talking or just passing by, but then he started to avoid me. He is rather passive when I try to start a conversation, answering my question, but not initiating anything. He is 9 years younger than me, I think this is probably a reason.
He is a quite typical Sun in Leo, Mars in Aries, Venus in Gemini, always loud and not shy at all in terms of talking to anyone. And he really loves to talk. So my conclusion is that he just does not want to talk to me. I think I should just forget about him, but it's hard, I see him every day at work. We have some really nice aspects in synastry, so my brain is not willing to give up yet. Transiting Jupiter and Venus are going to square my Sun Moon midpoint in a few days, I guess instead of waiting I should rather register myself on some dating portal and date men that are my age. I try to upload synastry, composite and Davison, hope it works. I would love to hear any ideas or advice!
I am outside.
I don't know his time of birth so I set it noon. Synastry  Composite  Davison
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Randall
Webmaster Posts: 119403
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 18, 2019 09:24 AM
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anska5
Knowflake Posts: 88
From:
Registered: Jun 2018
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posted November 18, 2019 06:10 PM
Maybe someone else will be able to offer some valuable insights based on the synastry you posted. I fear however, that it is almost impossible to offer an explanation based on astrology alone, especially as we don't even know (without his birthtime) which of his houses your planets fall into. I have had great, even seemingly 'hot' aspects with men in the past, but felt absolutely nothing. Mainly, in my opinion, because they only hit my neutral houses. I really find the house overlay of fundamental importance in judging how you effect someone. Leaving astrology aside, unfortunately it's really not an encouraging sign, when a guy 'avoids' you and worse, is even quite unresponsive when you do make an effort with him. When I was a lot younger, in similar situations we would often speculate that the guy in question might be just 'shy' or ' intimiated'. Unfortunately, experience over the years always proved us wrong. If a guy is interested in you, even just on a friendly basis, he would not avoid you completely or blank you when making conversation. Not even the super shy would be that shy.
I'm speculating, but is it possible that he intuitively feels you like him, doesn't want to encourage you, but doesn't want to be rude either, hence the avoidance/passivity in conversations. I've acted in a very similar way with a work colleague who seemed clearly very interested but I wasnt. I just felt a bit uncomfortable with the attenion and didnt want to encourage him at all. IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 666
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted November 18, 2019 06:35 PM
It seems that there is a strong attraction, but also some attitude might turn things off... in synastry, Saturn square Saturn/Uranus and Venus, with the Neptune opposition, looks actually that he might feel "intimidated", or a strong control is put over emotions... in the Composite, Jupiter in Capricorn square to Mercury and Neptune square Sun, it is possible that the work environment has to do with his attitude or that some kind of misunderstanding between you two or from his part made his attitude change. The chart shows strong attraction again, but it looks you might easily misunderstand each other and Comp. Uranus square Venus in such picture points to on-off dynamics. Without his TOB I find hard to grasp more about his interest/feelings towards you.IP: Logged |
Hikaru29
Knowflake Posts: 2246
From: Asia
Registered: Nov 2018
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posted November 19, 2019 10:29 AM
I agree with anska5. It's really difficult to tell without knowing his relationship houses and DSC because that shows his 'type'. With his Aries Mars, Leo Sun and flirty Gemini Venus, it's quite hard to picture him as the shy type. And Mars sextile Jupiter shows that he's confident in getting what he wants.Planetary aspects won't tell you whether feelings are romantic. You can have Venus conj Mars with someone and only regard him as a friend. IME, always let the men initiate. No matter how shy a guy is, he will not avoid a gal he likes. If he's avoiding you or keeping conversations short, it's not a good sign. Btw, the links are all synastry charts. IP: Logged |
SweetScorpioLeo
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2017
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posted November 19, 2019 02:31 PM
Thank you guys for your answers so much!I figured out how to embed the images, it should work now. I totally agree that when a guy likes a woman they will not avoid her. However at work it can be a bit more complicated, as I am in a higher position than him. I have sometimes the feeling that I intimidate people since I started to work in this position. Anyway, if he decided to avoid me despite the attraction, I can't do anything against it. Also as I look at my house overlays, he is touching my 6, 9, 11, 12. No contact with 5,7,8... Thank you anyway for your efforts and time to analyze and comment! I will definetly not do any attempts more to make him talk with me, I am much more proud than that... IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 666
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted November 19, 2019 06:34 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SweetScorpioLeo:
Thank you guys for your answers so much!I figured out how to embed the images, it should work now. I totally agree that when a guy likes a woman they will not avoid her. However at work it can be a bit more complicated, as I am in a higher position than him. I have sometimes the feeling that I intimidate people since I started to work in this position. Anyway, if he decided to avoid me despite the attraction, I can't do anything against it. Also as I look at my house overlays, he is touching my 6, 9, 11, 12. No contact with 5,7,8... Thank you anyway for your efforts and time to analyze and comment! I will definetly not do any attempts more to make him talk with me, I am much more proud than that...
He has Neptune in Capricorn square Mars, so this can block his "Aries" impulses and make him fear failure, rejection, criticism. If you're in an higher position than him, given the Saturn/Saturn/Venus t-square and Jupiter opposite Venus/Mercury, I would think this is the reason he changed his attitude, as I said. Just assuming of course. His Saturn in sagittarius is also a sign of self-restraint in some situations, despite appearance. IP: Logged |
anska5
Knowflake Posts: 88
From:
Registered: Jun 2018
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posted November 20, 2019 10:16 AM
I don't know, I'm still very sceptical the job status "intimidation" factor can be such a big factor that a man will even block conversation. In theory, this may sound logical, but in my experience even the most intimidated man will still (nervously)talk to the object of their attraction when the opportunity presents itself or even seek it out. I think it's just an intuitive, automatic response if you are attracted to someone.You feel the need to engage with them. Even more so if the woman has signalled her interest in one way or another, even just by being friendly.
I work in a very male dominated, hierarchical and prestigious organisation. There are only very few women, so in itself these few women are intimidating because they made it in. In addition, as a very saturn heavy woman plus with sun and ascendatn square pluto, I can't count the number of times I've been told I'm intimidating. And still...the men that have been attracted to me who were subordinate colleagues, or even interns never have avoided (the chance to talk to) me.No doubt the intimidation becomes a big factor when it then goes a step further, when it comes to deciding, do I ask this woman out...They may not take that next step for that (intimidation) reason, but even if they have decided not to take it further, I really doubt they would avoid talking to the woman.I think if the woman has subtly signalled her own attraction and if the attraction is strong from both sides, the interest of the man will nervously, subtly still show through and one of that is by not avoding her. Even if his natal chart or the synastry shows a lot of restrictions. I'm so convinced of this because all of these factors applied to one of our interns (who I was very attracted to) . Intimdated by my position, several factors in his natal chart and in our synastry that could have easily been considered a block and still the attraction showed through in his actions (talking to me whenever opportunity presented, his body language, seeking me out etc). Even others picked up on it, despite him being so subtle. Yes, only after his internship ended he took a more clear step towards me, suggesting a meeting (under a pretxt). But all the other subtle signs had been there before. Maybe really check out his body language when you two are interacting. If he is attracted, no matter how much he controlls himself, some signals will "leak" through his body language (self-touching of his face, blinking rate, open body language towards you. Especially the self-touching I find happens consistently if someone is somewhat nervous around you. If none of this happens and his body is also quite averted when he interacts with you, I doubt it's intimidation. Also, maybe also observe your own body language when you are interacting. Are you open and smily with him? If you always talk to him with a frown (I'm exaggerating), then obviously his responses will be limited. Maybe you think you were quite open and chatty with him, but in actual fact you were just professional. All teh best! IP: Logged |
Hierophantom
Knowflake Posts: 93
From: Netherlands
Registered: Sep 2019
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posted November 20, 2019 02:19 PM
You have your Descendant in Aquarius, so I'm not supprised at all you attract men who are a bit aloof. That's what you, unconsiously, are attracted to. But beware you won't misjudge if it is just aloofness or not that interested at all. Remember, with your AScendant in Leo, you deserve every attention from your subject of love. And if he is not giving it, then let him take the highway.
His Sun is Leo and his Venus is Gemini, I guess he is just a social butterfly when it comes to love so he is just keeping options open, and with the age difference, keep in mind he likes you but might be looking for a younger girl for a relationship. I am a Sun Scorpio too, and I had that same experience with a Leo Sun who was 10 years younger than me, also a coworker. He liked me, but wanted to make sure we just had a casual fling, and a few weeks later he got interested in another coworker, about his own age, and got a relationship with her, wich lasted a few years, until he went back to his birth country. Every situation and every person is different, but I won't keep my hopes up. Try to let go and see if he will come. ------------------
Mercury conjunct Neptune: Can I take a message? IP: Logged |
SweetScorpioLeo
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2017
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posted November 20, 2019 02:37 PM
Actually, I would expect him to try to at least see me more often, in case he really is intimidated, and has fear of rejection, or just shy (which he is not) he would still display some affection. A Leo Sun Aries Mars can't and doesn't even want to hide their feelings the way we Scorpios can do it. So if he doesn't approach me it probably just means he really doesn't want to approach me. It's sad but I think I need to move forward.
Thank you guys for sharing your opinion and advice, and yes I may really need to work on my body language and communication to come accross a bit more approachable... will think about that!IP: Logged |
SweetScorpioLeo
Newflake Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2017
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posted November 20, 2019 02:49 PM
Hi Hierophantom, I just saw your post. Yes indeed I need so much attention from my partners that is absolutely true, I want to be the queen in the relationship... and of course me being a Scorpio the partner needs to be 100% sincere with me, I need to know all their thoughts. I am not sure how a Venus in Gemini would handle that.
And if you mentioned aloofness, that's so difficult for me with the Aquarius DSC (and Sun conjunct Uranus on the top of that), I absolutely love Aquarius people, I fall for them very often, but it would be impossible to be in a relationship with them.
Thank you for sharing your experiences!IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 666
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted November 20, 2019 04:50 PM
Sorry, when you first posted the links, I must have mistaken the Composite with the Davidson chart, now that the charts appear on here I realized my mistake. Even so, in the Composite it still seems there's miscommunication between the two with Sun/Mercury square Neptune and given Chiron in Gemini, so it seems it's not easy to grasp what the other think/feels. With Composite Chiron conjunct Mars/NN square Venus, and Pluto conjunct Moon, there is an underlying intense attraction but it all looks somehow risky and potentially harmful whereas Mars/Chiron square Venus and opposite Uranus suggest a potential brief affair and with Lilith involved I might suspect that he's in another stable relationship or hidden feelings/reasons might be behind his non-action. It seems to me that the composite suggests a close doors affair or hidden feelings but potentially harmful by ending abruptely with Mars/Chiron in the t-square involving Venus and Uranus. Alternatively, there might be hidden feelings with hidden reasons preventing him to openly pursue you. Whether he just simply might not be interested in you, of course, it is hard to say so without houses, even though with such hard aspects it is hard for me to not see a strong attraction, unless it is about plain repulsion/annoyance from his part, but I would rule out plain "indifference" with those Comp. aspects. Keep in mind though that Mercury transiting retrograde conjunct the Composite Saturn in Scorpio at this time might tamper and mislead all feelings and impressions. As it is going back direct things might get slowly clearer and especially as it touches Composite Uranus in middle December, maybe revelation might come even in a shocking/unexpected way by then. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 119403
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 26, 2019 06:16 PM
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