posted January 28, 2020 04:45 PM            

What dangers would need to be overcome/issues would need to be worked through?

(Blue planets = female, red planets = male)

Thank you!!

posted January 29, 2020 01:27 AM            

this relationship is highly dangerous. There's plenty of abusive aspects, so they potentially can deeply damage each other. Sorry to say, he looks quite unstable if not damaged person... she is a very sensitive person but she might not control her emotions, she's quite a reserved person possibly with artistic talents... she has a deep self-assertive and self-worth issue though that she might try to solve by being uncompromising and stubborn, which is what makes him frustrated and actually trigger his own self-worth issues... I especially dont like his Nessus conjunct her Chiron square to his Saturn... and her Pluto is also opposite his Chiron and square his Sun... this can trigger all his deepest fears and own psychological issues that he's already dealing with. But his Pluto is also conjunct her Nessus, square to his Mercury, so he might actually react in the same painful way against her. The problem is that they have a strong love bond and they try to rely on each other as if the depth of their feelings make them blind against the mutual damage. But he seems to be the one who is "blocking" her life path. Their DW NN conjunct SN trine and sextile to his Saturn is very karmic and hard to let go. The Jupiter Uranus square to her MC/Jupiter is also making things very unstable.

posted January 29, 2020 02:06 AM            

The context is I (female) have met this person in the context of a semi-regular bible study & have felt something attracting me to him but am trying to figure out as clearly as possible in advance whether it would be emotionally safe for me to respond if he initiated anything romantic. I am dealing with mental health & trauma at the moment and have never been in a relationship. He is 9 years my senior. I do think we may both struggle too much in affirming ourselves with our insecurities, so there may be nothing to pull either of us up out of our failure to support ourselves adequately, at least till now.

The first chart below is the chart of first meeting and the second is our composite chart. Like you say I think we may both like to be able to commit and this would keep us from properly seeing each other until some major damage had been incurred unwittingly on both sides - or perhaps wittingly if he was in any sense controlling. I feel that he might end up feeling jealous, suspicious or oppressed through not being able to “enter my world” and see my emotional needs through my lens, only through his own experience of feeling insecure about his own strength or adequacy.

posted January 29, 2020 04:13 AM            

I use the whole sign house system - here is a composite though using Placidus

posted January 30, 2020 05:24 AM            

I don’t know his birth time so in order to be able to create a synastry and composite chart on Astro.com I entered 12:01pm as birthtime - I’m sorry if this changes things. I do think cusp of Aries and Taurus suits his personality

I don’t know him well - I think I bring danger into the picture from my own experience of feeling like I needed to take responsibility for not only my own but also other people’s sake. I think I have trouble standing up for myself and a tendency to get sucked into codependent dynamics, so I feel that is part of the inherent danger I bring to any potential relationship and I do not want to end up getting stuck in a relationship where I am really the only one invested in communicating our way through conflict - I feel that is replaying my dynamic with my father and being stuck in such a dynamic would be majorly retraumatising for me. Maybe the attraction / curiosity /intrigue I feel in our dynamic is a function of seeing nurturing qualities in him without being overbearing or dramatic, and intellectually curious while still being able to connect with me on spiritual matters (a blended reversal of my experience with both my parents). My fear would be becoming submerged in his sensitivities with no way out, a feeling of entrapment - and becoming deeply emotionally engaged before realising he is practically incapable of fulfilling my need for emotional nurturance and strength from his side (fears I bring from my relationship with my parents /unconscious expectations from observing their relationship with each other).

My main fear would be that he is unable to meet me halfway in working through conflict. Though I don’t know him well I can see he is a kind person. I don’t know how much work he has done reflecting on his “shadow self” and my worst nightmare would be that revealing itself to him only after I was deeply emotionally involved and him taking out the surprise of that on me. Like me being the canvas for his shadow self, which he may never have really gotten to know, to play out on.

posted January 30, 2020 01:33 PM            

Forgive me if I dare to tell you in advance that from your Saturn/Mars aspects in Aquarius, your Pluto square Venus and Nessus square Neptune, and based on your explanation, I have the feeling that you seem to neglect yourself for strong fears in relationship matters by somehow secluding yourself in search of some "perfection" or situation completely fitting your self-confidence, which is highly unlikely you will ever find at such demanding level... Of course you are very well aware of your issues and this is what triggers your fears, but I honestly would feel to suggest that this might be a strong self-defensive attitude which might end up becoming self-damaging to your self-worth instead... forgive me, I am not a psychologist and I even hate sounding like that, I am mainly talking based on some of your critical natal aspects (and by not personally knowing you, I might very well interpret all this in a too extreme way, but this is an underlying trait of yours I see here astrologically, especially with Pluto square Venus and Chiron in Leo).

That said, the main problem with this person is the nessus, saturn and Chiron aspects, so your doubts might be actually well founded here. I don't like his Saturn square to your Chiron with his Nessus attached to it, cause this looks highly toxic, and I dont like your Nessus conjunct his Pluto, cause this is a potentially strong (mutual) co-dependence and self-damaging trait....
With his Venus/Mars attached to your Sun/Moon and the Sun/Venus conjunction, I suspects he might be very attracted to you and actually wishing to get intimately closer. But we would need his TOB to understand all that on a romantic level.

The Composite is not THAT bad and the stellium shows that the development of a strong love bond is possible, but without his TOB I might actually be wrong about the "platonic" and unattainable side if the Moon is not in the 12th house.
The other critical aspects I mentioned in Composite remain, there is the risk that things might get deceptive, but again without his TOB we cannot see the angles and so the Moon/MC square might not be there and we cannot see if such real nurturing you need would be there. Chiron in gemini trine to Mercury suggests that your intellectual exchange might actually be a healing, but without the exact angles position I am not sure if such healing is possible with or without an emotional involvement.

posted January 30, 2020 05:46 PM            

Below are the composite chart, synastry chart and both birth charts (the last without birth time), with increased orbs & Orcus.

There is a kite formation in our composite which seems to reflect a loose kite formation in my natal, using the asteroids Sedna and Child. Could this represent why it might feel natural to me to project both resolution & continuation of my internal drama/conflict/dilemma onto this relationship?

With increased orbs I’ve also noticed the grand trine in my natal of Sedna in Taurus, Jupiter in Virgo and North Node in Capricorn. Though Jupiter is my chart ruler I think fire element in my chart is afflicted or not sufficiently developed, with Mercury in Aries square Ascendant, and Chiron in Leo opposite Mars in Capricorn. Maybe differentiating my fire side from my earth side could offer some direction to how I develop myself at this point

posted January 31, 2020 05:35 PM            

The whole picture is very complex so it would take more time (and likely more astrological experience!) to definitely track down all the potentialities and possible scenarios, so I will keep studying your charts in the next days, meanwhile I am telling you my fist look whole impression...

quote:

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There is a kite formation in our composite which seems to reflect a loose kite formation in my natal, using the asteroids Sedna and Child. Could this represent why it might feel natural to me to project both resolution & continuation of my internal drama/conflict/dilemma onto this relationship?

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I think you are spot on with this observation. Natally, you seem to share some patterns about your deepest subconscious issues and this might be what is strongly attracting you to this person.
You have two major critical patterns involving your Saturn/Mars in second house, which is a strong challenging aspect on its own cause it shows you might be struggling (Saturn) in finding the "foundation" (2nd house) of your individuality (Mars) and a sense of whole stability/certainty in your life path.
This natal aspect of yours is highly challenged by being opposite to Orcus/Chiron (8th house) and square to Sedna (5th house). This clearly signals that such challenge comes from your early childhood (5th house) and it is very rooted in your subconscious (8th house), in a way that has negatively affected your vision of the outer world and relationships, but which is linked to a deep sense of "fear of failure" which might actually keep you stuck and unable to throw yourself out there in the world/society/relationships and find fulfillment. The Chiron opposition to Mars/Saturn might also signal that you might look for a male figure guiding you through a healing path. The Nessus/Pluto midpoint is square to Mars/Saturn, and the Nessus/Jupiter midpoint is square to Chiron, so Nessus/Pluto/Saturn give a strong subconscious sense of restriction and limitation in being able to set one's free from issues given by Sedna, pointing to a self-defence sense against abuse/victimism/fear in dealing the outside world/social and relationship sphere (Saturn in Aquarius, Pluto in 11th house, Sedna in Taurus ruled by Venus = relationship).
Pluto trine Sun and sextile Uranus/Neptune, and Mercury trine to Chiron, signal that there is awareness on these issues. The Kite suggests that you might find relief, more than real healing, through your very high emotional, spiritual and nurturing senitivenes, which also also has a very creative side. There is also a strong karmic and otherworldly feeling given by the nodes on the ASC/DSC axis and with Sedna trine to this, so you might sense that there is a strong karmic or fated path in whatever you struggle to achieve.
The Kite, together with the Pluto and Sedna aspects and Chiron in 8th house, talk of a big transformation of your Self. I have the feeling that this points out the fact that the resolution of your wounds pass through the establishment of your self-worth more than through any nurturing relatioship cause you have North Node in Capricorn first house conjunct the ASC, and with first house ruler Saturn in 2nd house. Usually the North Node in first house, especially in Capricorn, is about the accomplishment of your own Self, and with South Node in 7th house (Cancer) conjunct DSC, this usually suggests that you might search a resolution through nurtring relationship, but this would be a self-deceiving path, unless you find your own stablity first.

Now, based on all of that, looking at the Composite again, it seems to me that such a relationship, if it ever starts and develope, or just your wish for such a relationship to start, might have to do with the fact that for some reason you feel core similarities with this person which might help you solve some of your inner wounds. This could be even true, because the Composite Kite involves Chiron trine to Mars and opposite Saturn, suggesting a path of self-healing, but it would be SELF healing, even though with Saturn sextile Moon a nurturing and supporting side would be there. With Orcus square Pluto and Sedna there is a challenge though, which might point to the fact that a fear/victimism/self-damaging pattern might reflect the same individual subconscious patterns of both the people involved. It could even be that exactly such a pattern/experience is what one needs to get aware of the way out and gain self-worth, with the Kite involving Chiron trine to Mars.
So my final feeling is that such a relationship might work only if the two people are ready to face those challenges in a positive way and accept the transformation that can be triggered to their own approach to their individual inner issues.

posted February 01, 2020 07:57 PM            

What you’ve written here is hugely helpful, thank you I resonate with what you’ve written and it’s encouraging for me to witness that my need for building self-worth is objectively identifiable and recognised through my chart - that helps me as I’ve been feeling guilt for beginning to focus on building myself up, as though that is selfish and I can’t afford to when there are still people needing help.