posted April 08, 2020 04:39 AM            

[img]https://i.ibb.co/J23Z3qb/686551-F4-229-E-46-F0-9-C8-B-1390-A146-EC1-F.png[/img]

So this is a never ending story ..at least for me.
I was told before that he actually doesn’t fit me very well, so why am I so in love with him? We have a one-year old daughter by now. He left me while pregnant and started a new relationship, it was a very painful time for me, to say the least. I’ve never been this hurt by anyone before (emotionally).
But I managed to get over it, I even met his new girl by now. I started dating someone else by the time the two moved in together. I was over him, and we maintained a cordial ‘friendship’ for the sake of our child. But unfortunately the feelings are creeping up again lately..
It makes me very sad, because I’m afraid it will compromise my confidence and integrity that I’ve built up till now.

posted April 08, 2020 09:16 AM            

@ana_bee : I also can't see any particular reason in the synastry why you are so hung up on him. To me the clue is in your natal chart. I, like you, have saturn in the 1st house and so a few friends of me. While we all experience that natal position slightly differently, some as lack of confidence, some as fear of rejection, some as awkwardness in their self-expression. What we all have in common is that when we have truly been in love and THEN rejected, it went to the core and we had a much, much harder time to get over it and rebuild our fundemantal self-confidence. Not with every relationship all the time, but with those key connections, when we were all in, in love and fully trusted the person. And in your case, being left by your baby's daddy AND for another woman, it doesnt get any worse in terms of let down of trust.

P.S. It's said you look at where the composite chart planets fall in an individual's natal chart, to see how the relationship affects you. And that often explains how differently two people perceive a relationship. For instance when the composite planets fall in someone's 7th and 8th house, this relationship will affect them deeply, have a transfomring effect and they may few it as a true relationship with marriage potential. If the composite planets fall in the other person's 11th house, they may just few it as friendship. I remember long time ago there was actually a case like this on lindland, where even the synastry looked great and the woman just couldnt understand why to here this was just a friendship (composite planets fell in her 11th house).

posted April 08, 2020 09:36 AM            

Maybe breed was a provocative word but we are “bred” by our culture.

I just know a lot of German ‘illegitimate’ families, friends themselves or their own children, and it’s not considered a big deal (naturally, psychology would say otherwise). In the US, this illegitimacy is usually the case of class-issue (repercussions), but not so much over there—it’s social. The European state helps new parents either way.

I tried to give our friend some perspective that her pressing concern in the aftermath could be that her own deeply-ingrained ‘values’ are at stake, and the possibility that it’s cultural came to mind when I noticed she was from Kazakstan, considering the majority of her native country is Sunnī Muslim.

The “lower” conscience bit is not for romance. Because of the insane amount of behavioral pressure and bureaucratic regulation, I’ve seen many individuals easily justify their lifelong ‘criminal’ or abnormal activity, whether white-lying to authority or each other. There was a stark contrast in regard to this—some who would shake at the thought of breaking the rules, and others who were quite proud of their finesse. Kind of thrilling to witness. Anyways, my two cents. Because of the way he picked up another girl while impregnating one, I assumed which spectrum he fell on.