posted October 07, 2020 04:19 PM            

I think you concern is very spot on.this chart is precarious.
There is a very intense emotional energy,there are strong aspects of "destiny", there are aspects of commitment/marriage and there seem to be financial or business consideration as well.
I'll start with the bad....he is a liar about his intentions for you and this relationship.
The juno/Jupiter midpoint which relates to commitment is opposed yo sedna .sedan is an aspect of truth and honesty bit the midpoint of the Saturn/Neptune square is conjunct to jun/Jupiter and opposed to sedna .the Saturn/Neptune square is an aspect to lying and deception,so this entire latter suggests feelings of commitment but he is not sincere .as everything revolves around a future together this aspect is very unfavorable.

This is very difficult because there are many aspects of affection.
Juno is square to eris giving passion and expectations of commitment.plus the mars/Venus midpoint is conjunct to eris and opposed to Juno.this adds the feeling love and commitment.in addition the Eros/psyche midpoint is conjunct to Jupiter which brings a child-like infatuation and again a expectation or marriage.Jupiter is with the node which adds a feeling of magic and destiny, in addition to a strong intellectual bond.
Venus is square to the vertex which adds a otherworldly love to the mix.I can see why you keep leyti g him back in,the sense sex,love and destiny are so strong that you second yourself....no wanting toisjudge such a "spiritual" connection.

posted October 07, 2020 04:21 PM            

I think you concern is very spot on.this chart is precarious.
There is a very intense emotional energy,there are strong aspects of "destiny", there are aspects of commitment/marriage and there seem to be financial or business consideration as well.
I'll start with the bad....he is a liar about his intentions for you and this relationship.
The juno/Jupiter midpoint which relates to commitment is opposed to sedna .sedna is an aspect of truth and honesty but the midpoint of the Saturn/Neptune square is conjunct to juno/Jupiter and opposed to sedna .the Saturn/Neptune square is an aspect of lying and deception,so this entire
pattern suggests feelings of commitment but he is not sincere .as everything revolves around a future together this aspect is very unfavorable.

This is very difficult because there are many aspects of affection.
Juno is square to eris giving passion and expectations of commitment.plus the mars/Venus midpoint is square to eris and opposed to Juno.this adds the feeling love and commitment.in addition the Eros/psyche midpoint is conjunct to Jupiter which brings a child-like infatuation and again a expectation or marriage.Jupiter is with the node which adds a feeling of magic and destiny, in addition to a strong intellectual bond.
Venus is square to the vertex which adds a otherworldly love to the mix.I can see why you keep letting him back in,the sense of sex,love and destiny are so strong that you second guess yourself....no wanting to misjudge such a "spiritual" connection.

posted October 08, 2020 05:10 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sauerkraut:
thank you so much todd.. very very interesting.

i am curious to some more depth about his intentions and perhaps mine.

while he can be careless with my feelings, he has not outright deceive me in the commitment or relationship department. he has told me since weve met that he wants to be a bachelor. the underlying energy between us is so intense, i wasnt sure what to make of it. he can get a little sadistic but he has also shown compassion when i can express my feelings in a rational way. while he is more self aware than most, he does seem to get sadistic when he gets too comfortable or if i show weakness. in a way, it has helped me with my issues with boundaries, control and my own coldness. do you think he will always be cold hearted and sadistic as far as my feelings go? if anything, is our deep friendship/bond real? i love our friendship currently, there is a lot of freedom to be ourselves. will the underlying energy disrupt our bond? is it possible that i am the liar and not him? as much as i want a commitment, my natal shows otherwise. is it possible that i am the one that represents the abuser also?

originally we hooked up because it was supposed to be fun. we both were in wild self destructive modes. we got along mentally well but the emotional side didnt sit well with him. i didnt know how to deal with my emotions and he wanted nothing to do with them. i was a bit aggressive, he was a bit cold and not understanding.

when he came back into my life last year, we were both in bad places. he was trying to get his life back in order and i was not doing so well mentally. he tried to be there for me when i was having daily panic attacks and was generally suicidal. we would talk for hours and he would listen to my problems to a fault.. like i subconsciously delayed any healing just so he would continue talking to me. i told him i had feelings for him and he said that he was not rejecting me and that he couldnt be in a relationship because he didnt have his life in order. i had moved out of my condo a few months prior and was living with my parents because i had become increasingly unhinged with life. i ended up leasing out my condo to him. he was so busy trying to get his life back in order that when i was doubting and expecting him to be there for me, he snapped at me a few times. eventually we got into a huge fight in public - i needed him and he was in a bad mood but he couldnt say no to seeing me. he was not nice and we exploded, but no violence. i was crying and he was cold and distant.

we stopped contact for 8 months. he paid his rent on time and never bothered me with anything. i expected the worse but he kept it very business and so did i. i had my doubts that he might not pay when quarantine hit but he continued to be dependable. he texted me in june when the lease was ending. i called him and we talked for 2 hours and reconciled. he wanted a little extension until he found a new place and i told him i would continue renting the condo to him for an undetermined length of time until the world mellows down.

we finally saw each other in july when we met up to play golf together for the first time. it was weird at first when we saw each other. there was a coldness, like neither one of us could be warm. like we didnt know which face to put on? we were very nice to each other the rest of the time. it was very platonic. we continued to meet up for golf, each time our interaction got slightly warmer and stayed cordial. until a month ago.. he was rude with me on the phone before we met for golf. when he showed up, i demanded an apology, he was not having it. apparently he was overwhelmed with work and he told me any other friend would just get over it. i realized at this moment he would never stand down and i didnt want us to end again. i regain control of my emotions, bit my tongue and stood down. after maybe 20 min of ignoring each other, i asked him if he would let it go if i let it go. he said he was trying to let it go. we had fun the rest of the day. i brought it up after the round and we talked about it. i told him that he had the wrong impression of me and i was not like his other friends, that i was an introverted loner. i love playing by myself so why would i choose to have that attitude around. it seem like something clicked in him because we have played 3 times since and he has been extra nice and present. our bond has grown and we are warm with each other like children currently.

sorry if there is too much extra detail. its quite complicated and hard to put into words. we are both very damaged people trying to work on ourselves. do you think if we kept healthy boundaries, allow each other freedom to be and i dont get emotional about things (if possible? if i learn to tune into my higher self more consistently), we could have a satisfying bond?

i have read enough of your interpretations for other people and have seen your accuracy so i am taking your interpretation very seriously. if he is being truthful about not wanting a relationship with me, is he deceitful in other ways? does he care about me as a friend or does our bond not matter to him? also why is the pluto/psyche square nessus aspect applied to him and not me?

once again, thank you.

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First off,I find that the gender of planets tend to remain as they are portrayed, classicaly, in a composite.but the masculine nature of planets can be represents by a woman in a composite,if she is the instigator of the relationship.but usually the gender of the planet correlate with the sexes of the partners.so it is possible that you embody some of the characteristics I attribute to him.
As to you first point,with jun/Jupiter midpoint opposed to sedna and saturn/Neptune e conjunct t,o Juno/Jupiter, the correct I terpretation is that Saturn/Neptune showed his reluctance to establsh relationships.
Saturn/Neptune shows a very complicated personality that likes secrecy .Neptune tends to weaken the physical manifestations of the other planets so here it gives reluctance to bond.the Saturn/Neptune square also makes it very difficult for me to give suggests as to what he feels or his intentions.he is too inscrutable.

I've read your response several times and you bring up complicated issues and probabilities.rather than trying to respond point by point,I have to give my overall impression of what you need to focus on.
First with the Tsquare of Uranus,Jupiter,node and sun/Mercury, the relationship is extremly psychically,mentally and intellectually stimulating,but unstable. Secondly with Saturn square to Neptune the foundations of the relationship will always be weak.uto square to nessus points to a inherent isolation and coldness.
So the relationship can be characterized as bipolar. You will always be at the extremes of human emotions.there will be little time when "normal" emotional routinues can bring a steady feeling of continuity.

There are always exceptions to the rule but I have to go by the track record,and this type of chart rarely ends in a satisfied love.

Therefore I feel incumbent on me to caution you from becoming obsessive about him.this is a very real danger in this chart because Pallas is opposed to Venus and square the vertex. This show otherworldly emotional/sexual attraction that empowers everything you feel strong about in yourself.
The fly in the ointment is the vertex...the energies of the vertex are yry cosmic in a literal sense.these energies embrace the universe and as such are not specifically earthly or human .
The point I am trying to make is that the intensity you feel is not realistic,it is not really based on the human chemistry between you.and hence you can easily fall into obsession instead of responding to what is possibly.
Pluto/psyche square to nessus can apply to both of you but it brings up concepts I did not want to broach.
this pattern suggest sexual abuse in your childhoods.it can be a reason for self destructive behavior and choices.

My opinion is that he does not care for you in the way you care for him.

todd