posted October 20, 2020 02:57 AM            

Thanks for agreeing to look at our Davison chart.
This is with a guy I've been in a relationship with for more than a year (known him for 2+yrs). Despite the apprehension, our bond actually got stronger over time so I wonder where this will lead us...

Do you need our natals?

posted October 20, 2020 04:14 AM            

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Do you need our natals?

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The Synastry* reveals interaction issues which, if not confronted/addressed, may (eventually) result in a breakdown of the relationship ... but you have probably already explored those.

posted October 20, 2020 04:33 AM            

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I wonder where this will lead us...

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Sun in Cancer/11th and conjunct Mercury+Venus suggest some kind of "mentoring" role (within your local society). ... But, the interceptions and duplicated house cusps indicate that a problem in the 5th+11th houses is adversely affecting the 6th+12th houses, in a way that is preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo and Pisces from being used correctly/effectively.

posted October 20, 2020 10:56 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Not if you only want to identify the purpose of your relationship.

The Synastry* reveals interaction issues which, if not confronted/addressed, may (eventually) result in a breakdown of the relationship ... but you have probably already explored those.

[ *Outer planets of person A to inner planets of person B, and vice-versa]

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This is our Synastry, if it helps. I've explored this but I welcome your insights.

He's blue, I'm red.

posted October 20, 2020 11:13 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Sun in Cancer/11th and conjunct Mercury+Venus suggest some kind of "mentoring" role (within your local society). ... But, the interceptions and duplicated house cusps indicate that a problem in the 5th+11th houses is adversely affecting the 6th+12th houses, in a way that is preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo and Pisces from being used correctly/effectively.

Might there be a possibility that "mothering/nurturing" could become "(s)mothering"?

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I don't understand what you mean by 5+11 houses adversely affecting 6+12 houses. Can you explain that to me again?

posted October 20, 2020 11:40 AM            

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I don't understand what you mean by 5+11 houses adversely affecting 6+12 houses. Can you explain that to me again?

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"A problem in the 5+11 houses is adversely affecting the 6 +12 houses". .... (So, the focus is upon identifying what the problem is - knowing, from the chart, that it involves 5th + 11th house activities.)

For example ... since 5/11 is the axis of social relationships, and 6/12 is the axis of service ... there might be something about the way the two of you function in group situations that is adversely affecting your ability to effectively help/"serve" others. ... [Such as (s)mothering rather than mentoring.]
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I'm especially caring & nurturing towards him (compare to how I was with my exes) but don't think I smother him. He doesn't give me that feeling as well. But we can be clingy... we're not joined at the hips but everyone noticed our vibes. Our eyes always follow each other.

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For example ... if - as (say) a manager of staff - you felt that one of your team could not cope with an increase in workload (or responsibility), how would you nurture him/her?
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This is our Synastry, if it helps. I've explored this but I welcome your insights.

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1. His Neptune squares your Mars.

2. Your Saturn squares his Moon.

3. Your Pluto squares his Mars.

posted October 20, 2020 12:01 PM            

How about Moon Conj Desc?

posted October 20, 2020 01:46 PM            

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there might be something about the way the two of you function in group situations that is adversely affecting your ability to effectively help/"serve" others. ... [Such as (s)mothering rather than mentoring.]

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Sorry, I didn't realise that when you said "Might there be a possibility that "mothering/nurturing" could become "(s)mothering"?" you were referring to how we (as a couple) behave towards others? We're sociable and we care about our friends but we're also the type who don't poke our noses everywhere. What other possible problems do you see because I don't resonate with the (s)mothering bit.

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1. His Neptune squares your Mars.

2. Your Saturn squares his Moon.

3. Your Pluto squares his Mars.

4. Your Neptune squares his Ascendant.

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So you think these might cause us to break up? What about aspects that might stick us together? Lol.

posted October 20, 2020 01:55 PM            

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Originally posted by Sinder:
Someone said this..
" •Synastry charts show how you feel about each-other, Composite chart is how you are together, and Davison chart shows you what the relationship ends up becoming."

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posted October 20, 2020 02:08 PM            

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Originally posted by maleja.rangel:
I noticed that you guys have Saturn in 12th house. Many falistics astrologers say this isn’t a good aspect because both have fear to be in the relationship and don’t know why. Nice to see you have been together

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There's always this apprehension that we're not gonna last. Every time something happened, I thought we were gonna break up. What I read is this placement can cause us to suppress negative issues so it's important we talk about them.

posted October 20, 2020 04:00 PM            

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I don't resonate with the (s)mothering bit.

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What are your definitions of smothering and nurturing?

How would you nurture the team member in the example I gave earlier?

[Note : You seem to equate smothering with "sticking your nose in where it is not wanted" ... whereas I equate it with being over-protective of others (and often wanted by them) - thereby restricting their growth/development.]
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What other possible problems do you see

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1. His Neptune squares your Mars.

2. Your Saturn squares his Moon.

3. Your Pluto squares his Mars.

posted October 20, 2020 05:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
There's always this apprehension that we're not gonna last. Every time something happened, I thought we were gonna break up. What I read is this placement can cause us to suppress negative issues so it's important we talk about them.

We're still together, btw, not "have been". 😅

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You describe the feeling I have in my relationship
We have sun mars in 12th in composite
And I feel the same when something happen
Like we gonna break up
But we still together

posted October 21, 2020 12:41 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Originally posted by Hikaru29:
What are your definitions of smothering and nurturing?

How would you nurture the team member in the example I gave earlier?

[Note : You seem to equate smothering with "sticking your nose in where it is not wanted" ... whereas I equate it with being over-protective (thereby restricting the other person's growth/development.)]

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I find using work example not relevant because we're different at work and in our personal lives. I have a friend who can be smothering so I will share my experience. To me smothering behaviour is a form of control - trying to control an outcome for me or steer me towards a certain direction that they think is appropriate, not what I want/need. It's also constantly asking me for updates and intervening without my permission, e.g. talking to the other party without consulting me. Therefore I described it as "sticking your nose into situations where you're not wanted". So again, no, I don't see us doing these to our friends.

posted October 21, 2020 01:10 AM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
I find using work example not relevant because we're different at work and in our personal lives. I have a friend who can be smothering so I will share my experience. To me smothering behaviour is a form of control - trying to control an outcome for me or steer me towards a certain direction that they think is appropriate, not what I want/need. It's also constantly asking me for updates and intervening without my permission, e.g. talking to the other party without consulting me. Therefore I described it as "sticking your nose into situations where you're not wanted". So again, no, I don't see us doing these to our friends.

Pls tell me if your understanding of smothering behaviour is something else because I'm getting confused here and I'm trying my best to explain our reality to you. It may not be what you saw in our chart so I asked if there may be other possible issues with 5/11 houses other than this.

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What you describe above as "smothering", I would describe as "manipulating" or/and "interfering" ... which confirms my feeling that "what I thought I said is not what you think I said". And we do indeed need to clarify this before dismissing it as "not resonating", and looking for alternative potential 5th/11th house issues.

What I am seeing in the chart is the possibility that one (or both) of you may be over-protective of others - to the point where it might prevent them from growing/developing as they should.

posted October 21, 2020 02:09 AM            

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Originally posted by efaki94:
But the thing with Supress and communication is so true
Did you find it difficult to communicate your feelings with him?

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Initially yes, I always felt confused not knowing what he wanted and I also didn't share my feelings. This resulted in a lot of mixed signals and misunderstandings which culminated to a fallout which I thought would end things but it didn't. Instead, the episode got us to finally talked about our feelings and we became more communicative with each other from there on. Honestly the trust wasn't easy to rebuild but our bond got stronger for sure.

posted October 21, 2020 02:25 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
What you describe above as "smothering", I would describe as "manipulating" or/and "interfering" ... which confirms my feeling that "what I thought I said is not what you think I said". And we do indeed need to clarify this [b]before dismissing it as "not resonating", and looking for alternative potential 5th/11th house issues.

What I am seeing in the chart is the possibility that one (or both) of you may be over-protective of others - to the point where it might prevent them from growing/developing as they should.

For example ... if (as a caring/nurturing mother) you became aware that your child is being bullied at school, how would you handle/deal with that? [/B]

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Perhaps I'll use friends as an example. I've a friend who felt her ex was being hot/cold and non-committal. Her ex is my friend too, btw. I provided a listening ear and offered advice when she asked, mostly saying that she should communicate her feelings to him. I didn't talk to her ex because (a) I felt that it wasn't my place to intervene (b) I was trying to maintain a neutral position as both are my friends. Eventually her ex ghosted her. One day she knew I was gonna meet up with some friends and her ex would be there so she asked if I would help her find out why he ghosted her. And I did. He said he felt they were not suitable and so I relayed the message back to her. So in this instance, do you find my behaviour over-protective (smothering)?

posted October 21, 2020 12:19 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Perhaps I'll use friends as an example. I've a friend who felt her ex was being hot/cold and non-committal. Her ex is my friend too, btw. I provided a listening ear and offered advice when she asked, mostly saying that she should communicate her feelings to him. I didn't talk to her ex because (a) I felt that it wasn't my place to intervene (b) I was trying to maintain a neutral position as both are my friends. Eventually her ex ghosted her. One day she knew I was gonna meet up with some friends and her ex would be there so she asked if I would help her find out why he ghosted her. And I did. His feeling was that he felt they were not suitable and so I relayed the message back to her. So in this instance, do you find my behaviour over-protective (smothering)?

In any case, I'll take note of your observation. 👍

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Over-accommodating rather than over-protective, Hikaru.

By acting as a go-between, you did what these two adults should have done for themselves ... thus depriving them of an opportunity to grow/cease behaving as adolescents.

posted October 22, 2020 03:31 AM            

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Originally posted by Sinder:
Any significance if moon on descendant for davison chart? also Saturn and uranus in 7th as well. *sigh*

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posted October 22, 2020 03:53 AM            

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Originally posted by Graham:
Over-accommodating rather than over-protective, Hikaru.

By acting as a go-between, you did what these two adults should have done for themselves ... thus depriving them of an opportunity to grow/cease behaving as adolescents.

Hence, this is indeed an example of the 5th/11th house issue that (perhaps incorrectly) I have referred to as "smothering" and "being over-protective".

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I was over-accommodating, I agree. I've had bad experiences in the past where people seemed to hold me responsible for everything.

Can you explain what you said before again? How is this preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo/Pisces from being used effectively? And how is this affecting us as a couple?
"affecting the 6th+12th houses, in a way that is preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo and Pisces from being used correctly/effectively."

Do you see any other things in our Davison? How about between him and me?

posted October 22, 2020 06:29 AM            

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was over-accommodating, I agree. I've had bad experiences in the past where people seemed to hold me responsible for everything.

Can you explain what you said before again? How is this preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo/Pisces from being used effectively? And how is this affecting us as a couple?
"affecting the 6th+12th houses, in a way that is preventing the positive qualities of Mars, Virgo and Pisces from being used correctly/effectively."

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If over-accommodating is the 5th/11th house issue ... it is adversely affecting your 6th/12th house axis of "serving others". ...

... So, using the example of the two exs that are no longer inter-acting, your childhood-conditioned 5th/11th house issue might be (say) a belief that you should always help a friend-in-need, which is still valid/appropriate. However, you have (probably) never consciously considered the "nature and extent" of the help that should be given to a friend-in-need. Hence, you 'helpfully" gave the female friend what she wanted (the go between), thereby not "providing effectively" the 6th/12th house service that was actually needed (to make both her and him realise that they were behaving immaturely).

And, until corrected, this 6th/12th house "helping others inappropriately" will prevent you (1st house) and your partner (7th house) [ie. this relationship/partnership] from "working 100% effectively for the community" (intercepted Mars, Virgo and Pisces)
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Do you see any other things in our Davison? How about between him and me?

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If we have correctly identified the 5th/11th house issue as being "over-accommodating", it is likely that this Davison Sun will shine if/when the two of you have learned to not do so when nurturing others (Sun-conjunct-Venus and Mercury in Cancer/11th).

And this davison Sun/chart purpose draws my attention to the Sun/Venus midpoint (at 17Cancer46) ... which brings the Sun-Juno-Moon very close to an exact 6th harmonic triangle. ... However, before looking at this, I need you to inform me about the likely role of Juno here (as Chiron is the only asteroid I have any astrological knowledge/understanding of.)

posted October 23, 2020 03:50 AM            

After I reflected further, I feel strongly that over-accommodating is what's happening here as he will also often act in favour of 'friends' instead of 'us' because he "doesn't want to disappoint his or my friends".

I'm not familiar with harmonics so what does it mean for Sun-Juno-Moon to be very close to an exact 6th harmonic triangle?. I know you only look at Chiron but I added Juno since this is an asteroid of commitment and marriage.

posted October 23, 2020 12:18 PM            

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Originally posted by Hikaru29:
Hi Graham

After I reflected further, I feel strongly that over-accommodating is what's happening here as he will also often act in favour of 'friends' instead of 'us' because he "doesn't want to disappoint his or my friends".

I'm not familiar with harmonics so what does it mean for [b]Sun-Juno-Moon to be very close to an exact 6th harmonic triangle?. I know you only look at Chiron but I added Juno since this is an asteroid of commitment and marriage.

I didn't even realise we have a boomerang there. With SN at the apex, could it be saying that we have a hard time learning from past experiences?[/B]

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he will also often act in favour of 'friends' instead of 'us' because he "doesn't want to disappoint his or my friends".

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Notice how the (not yet corrected) over-accommodating issue of the 5th/11th has adversely affected the 6th/12th axis of service in a way that impacts upon him/you (1st/7th) - i.e.. the davison relationship.
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I'm not familiar with harmonics so what does it mean for [b]Sun-Juno-Moon to be very close to an exact 6th harmonic triangle?. I know you only look at Chiron but I added Juno since this is an asteroid of commitment and marriage.[/b]

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The 6th harmonic triangle consists of one already developed talent (the trine) and two potential talents that require some effort to fully develop (the sextile). ... So, you are a couple who already have fully developed Cancer Sun/Venus-trine-Scorpio Moon skills/talents - and (perhaps) Juno/commitment/marriage will make this relationship an example that others will want to emulate. ... (Thus, this triangle is another indicator that the spiritual purpose of this relationship is "to mentor others".)
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I didn't even realise we have a boomerang there. With SN at the apex, could it be saying that we have a hard time learning from past experiences?

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I think it may be saying 'the purpose of this relationship is to mentor others (by exemplifying the SN skills we already have), and - in doing so - to learn a new skill ourselves (NN)".