posted October 26, 2020 04:57 PM            

She is older than me, and initially I found myself enamored. To put it simply and it's cheesy i know, but she's the most attractive woman I've ever laid my eyes on. But as Ive gotten to know her I found myself falling HARDER each time.

I thought it was just a crush at first but as time went on it turned into a full-blown obsession. I think about her for 24/7 and every time i try to move on, she appears in my dreams and I'm back to obsession mode. I found myself staring at her pictures for an embarrassing amount of time.

I catch her stealing glances at me and it's almost like we can feel each other's energies even from afar. I dont know if it's just me, but the energy between us is so palpable and so thick that I sometimes try to avoid her. At one time she tried to avoid eye contact with me after hugging me and I was hurt, but after a couple of weeks she was back to normal again.

My obsession has been going on for years now.

But she then left for another job and my heart was torn into pieces. When she left I thought I was going to die. It's crazy. I haven't been "in love" with anyone else. I havent felt this much intensity before.

I have no inkling on whether or not she feels the same but it's almost like I can sense if she's there in the same room as me. We only get to see each other occasionally. I thought I'd get to move on but here I am, still suffering. There's not a day in the world where I don't think about her.

I really think that she's my soulmate.

There's always this unbreakable bond with us that I can't simply break. I met her during the darkest times of my life and her existence at the office motivated me to work harder to impress her.

Everytime I try to move on she shows up whether in my dreams or at work. Even if we're apart it seems like we know what's going on between us.

We have the Sun-moon conjunction, Venus-pluto double whammy (my pluto conjuncts her venus, her pluto is opposite my venus), we have venus trine venus. venus-neptune double whammy. and venus-square saturn in synastry. Her pluto also conjuncts my ascendant. We also have the classic Eros conjunct Psyche.

We also have moon conjunct mars in synastry. And her moon and mars both fall in my 8th house.

When she started noticing me at work it was transiting Pluto square her Sun, exact, and she left when Pluto retrograde went exact on her Sun again.

In our composite chart we have the Love stellium, all square pluto and the north node. I think that my intense obsession is because of the venus-pluto double whammy, but we also have the Grand Cross completion pattern and a Mystic Rectangle in our composite chart!

Her Sun-Venus midpoint is opposite my Sun.
Her Venus-Pluto midpoint is square my Venus/Pluto midpoint as well.

I heard that finding these completion patterns are rare and they denote a highly significant relationship.

Our encounters seem fated too. We hugged the first time during an eclipse. I'm not sure if her hug was platonic or romantic but on that day she was having an exact progressed sun-venus conjunction. And she appears again when there's an eclipse

This December, my progressed sun will oppose her natal venus.

I want to know if she feels the same? Does she feel obsessed with me? Is it unrequited? I just want to know, for peace of mind.

I just want to know what causes this intense obsession and whether she feels it too.

Please help.

Synastry chart: Red one is me. I dont know her time of birth.

https://imgur.com/DUNoLQM

this one is our synastry in table format:
https://imgur.com/GtUwwIn

Composite chart:

posted October 27, 2020 01:52 PM            

Try to initiate a connection with her. It will either work or not. Next time she is at your work, ask her, "Hey, would you like to go out for tea/coffee, lunch (or whatever) sometime?"

The worst she can say is no, and the best she can say is yes. Take the chance.

If she does say yes, I would keep some of your deeper thoughts and feelings on the downlow for awhile. Thinking that someone is your soulmate, etc, etc and telling them right away, can be overwhelming to many people. Let it unfold naturally.

I told my partner after about a month of moving in with her that I loved her. She said sorry, but I don't feel the same. Didn't phase me, and I said ok, knowing that she would come to feel that way (and that deep down her Soul already felt that way, but as a body based/connected personality, she had heart walls/guards up).

A few months or so later, right before she was going to tell me that she also loved me, I telepathically picked up on it, (just somehow strongly knew what she was about to talk about it) I looked into her eyes before she started speaking and said, "I know, I love you too".

posted October 27, 2020 04:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
You don't need astrology nor other people's confirmations. You got the feelings and got them hard. Go for it without fear!

Try to initiate a connection with her. It will either work or not. Next time she is at your work, ask her, "Hey, would you like to go out for tea/coffee, lunch (or whatever) sometime?"

The worst she can say is no, and the best she can say is yes. Take the chance.

If she does say yes, I would keep some of your deeper thoughts and feelings on the downlow for awhile. Thinking that someone is your soulmate, etc, etc and telling them right away, can be overwhelming to many people. Let it unfold naturally.

I told my partner after about a month of moving in with her that I loved her. She said sorry, but I don't feel the same. Didn't phase me, and I said ok, knowing that she would come to feel that way (and that deep down her Soul already felt that way, but as a body based/connected personality, she had heart walls/guards up).

A few months or so later, right before she was going to tell me that she also loved me, I telepathically picked up on it, (just somehow strongly knew what she was about to talk about it) I looked into her eyes before she started speaking and said, "I know, I love you too".

But yeah, I was young and somewhat immature back then, like 21. Don't recommend doing that so quickly like I did. Again, some people can't handle that, and even if they do have strong feelings for you, they may run away.

---

She knows I have feelings for her because I confessed about how much I feel for her. The purpose of my confession was for me to let it all out so I could move on. I told her I wasn't expecting anything but I just wanted it out for honesty's sake and so I could move on. I was oblivious about astrology back then but during that time it was her Progressed Sun conjunct natal venus exact, on a solar eclipse.

But it only did the opposite. She was so kind about it and I fell harder. We continued with our lives without speaking about what transpired but the connection was still strong that when we look at each other we know that there's still a lot of unspoken things.

However, none of us are in a position to do anything. Because, unfortunately, she is married. I want her to be happy, even without me. But no matter how much I try to move on I just couldn't.

I wonder why this person holds such a strong power over me. Is this because of her Pluto conjunct my Ascendant.

Does she feel the intensity too? Is this unrequited? Why did I have to meet her when we're not bound to be together.

I wonder if this is some unresolved past life connection since our North Nodes square our Venuses. Or if I still have to learn something for myself to be able to cut this cord. I really don't know.

If she magically becomes single, I'd drop everything just for her.

posted October 27, 2020 08:22 PM            

In that case, I would try to redirect your thoughts and feelings away from her. It doesn't matter if she has feelings for you or not--it's just best to let her go for now as much as you can, and if she does ever become available, then start wondering about all this stuff.

Without two accurate, specific, whole charts, I am hesitant to look at the Synastry. You really do need to have at least an approximation of her Rising Sign. And as I said, at this point, it probably is best to try to let her go as much as possible.

posted October 28, 2020 01:45 AM            

Take some time off this thing and just go do something else, date someone else and it will clear your head and see things different. Obsessions are intoxicating and they consume your energy.

posted October 28, 2020 11:21 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosion:
Well that certainly does complicate things quite a bit.

In that case, I would try to redirect your thoughts and feelings away from her. It doesn't matter if she has feelings for you or not--it's just best to let her go for now as much as you can, and if she does ever become available, then start wondering about all this stuff.

Without two accurate, specific, whole charts, I am hesitant to look at the Synastry. You really do need to have at least an approximation of her Rising Sign. And as I said, at this point, it probably is best to try to let her go as much as possible.

Believe me, I understand the feelings and intensity of unreturned, unrequited and/or unavailable love, and I'm speaking from my own experience in my suggestions.

---

I know for a fact that nothing will happen between us because she is married but I still couldn't get her out of my head.

I tried dating other people but none of them worked and I've had flings just to forget about her. During my one night stands, my head was imagining that it was her that I was with. It sounds pathetic I know, but it's been like this for years now.

I wish moving on were that easy. Because just when I thought I was doing well she shows up in my dreams and I'm back to thinking about her al l day.

Maybe this is karmic. Maybe I need to resolve some past life issues with her but I don't know what to think anymore.

posted October 28, 2020 11:33 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mee_chryssa:
The Pluto squares (composite or synastry) are really difficult to handle, especially for someone that doesnt have them in their natal chart. It points out to obssesion and jealousy. I wouldnt think about the conjunction so bad. I had Sun/Mercury - Pluto conjunction in synastry with a Scorpio, and for a water sign as me, it wasnt difficult, but the square I couldnt handle it. Luckily, I was aware of my thoughts and feelings, and redirected myself to some other things. Obssesive behaviour is something awful and distructive. I only have easy aspects with Pluto in my natal chart, except for an opposition to my Moon.

Take some time off this thing and just go do something else, date someone else and it will clear your head and see things different. Obsessions are intoxicating and they consume your energy.

Thats what I did when I felt like that with a co-worker. and it got only better.

---

Maybe I'm the one who's feeling more obsessed because I have 3 planets in the 8th house. I thought being Plutonian myself, with natal venus trine pluto, I'd be able to handle this energy better but here I am.

She has a venus sextile pluto in her natal chart and her mercury is in scorpio, but I'm not sure if that makes her Plutonian as well.

With us having Venus conjunct Pluto in synastry and venus opposite pluto, I'm guessing this might be the culprit for this unrelenting intensity of feelings. It just sucks that I dont know if she's affected too despite the double whammy.

My Pluto is on her natal Venus conjunct Neptune. I thought Pluto has the upper hand but it seems like I'm more affected. Or who knows, maybe she's feeling it too.

Yes, this makes a venus square pluto in our composite. And pluto squares our love stellium.

I wonder if it's ever possible to get out of this connection, since we have the Grand Cross in composite. I heard that it's incredibly binding, and it draws people in for better or for worse, with no way to get out.

I tried dating other people and Ive had flings but none of them worked out throughout the years of trying to move on. It's quite impossible to avoid her completely since my friends are also her friends and she comes to work in our office occasionally.

I planned on getting a new job somewhere far, just to extricate myself from my pathetic situation. But covid happened and it's hard to get a new job these days.

I saw her again today by the way, and I'm just powerless just looking at her.

Despite my complete resolve of avoiding any conversations involving her, a friend of my friend just told me out of the blue that she's having family problems. I didn't want to meddle with her business and I pretended that I didn't care. But here I am fantasizing all day about how much I wanted to be the shoulder for her to cry on.

posted October 28, 2020 01:49 PM            

So Venus and Pluto etc, is just symbolically reflecting actual causes, not causing the feelings and the situation. For example, you probably have had other lives with each other--maybe some very close and love centered. But perhaps in another life, you chose another partner over her, despite your powerful connection, and she was very hurt because of that. This is best figured out within self via deep meditation and asking to connect to very loving, aware, helpful, positive sources.

In my case, I KNOW beyond a doubt that part of the way things have worked out between me and someone that I am unbelievably attracted to and love very deeply on a Soul level, is because we shared a past life where we were very, very close and merged with each other. Very happy, completely and totally in love with each other.

But I still ended up deciding to leave her and the Earth (long story, doesn't really matter too much).

She took that as rejection and abandonment of her (it had nothing to do with her, and she was literally the ONLY thing holding me to the Earth at that time), and it hurt her very deeply. In this life, she has rejected me time and time again, and never even really gave me a real chance because of that unconscious deep pain and fear. Despite her intense attraction and feelings for me, she held me at arms length and she is not conscious of why she does it.

So, I'm trying to let her go as much as is possible. It's not easy. It feels like she has died and I'm grieving. Some days and some moments, things are relatively ok, but then waves of heart pain and grief sometimes come in.

posted October 29, 2020 10:25 AM            

I met two guys in the last year with which I feel very intimate, but still there is something that blocks it and I chose, for the second time, for the second guy, to date someone else because I feel like it is something that will hurt me, in the end. And the guy I'm dating is not someone with whom I will be for a long time, but it is safer.

Yes, the aspects reflect how we are, they don't make us feel like that. We are like that and they show it.

Regarding your 8th house, zionkay, maybe it is something you need to understand about yourself with this meeting, since you have several planets in the 8th house.

posted October 29, 2020 03:33 PM            

Most of the time it's a dull ache. After all, what is really hurting is more the ego than anything.

posted November 15, 2020 01:47 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by outofideas:
Y'all, these ways of being are unhealthy.
I know, as I've been there too.
You're putting these people on a pedestal and you're in lala land.
You must ground yourselves and detach emotionally from these people that are only sucking you dry. They may well be an enemy, just killing you softly rather than attacking you viciously. Love is not supposed to be weakening and a waste of life.
I don't care if it's the 8th house or the Pluto-Venus connections. Yes, they all point to obsession and unhealthy attachments. But that does not matter at all, and it never will, unless you are in actual relationships with these people.
Stop simping for these people. Get yourself together and move on with complete determination.
Get your power back and they might actually come running after you.

---

posted November 15, 2020 12:10 PM            

I know for a fact that I have to get my control and power back, and I know that it is unhealthy.

I understand what you all are saying because that's whatI've been telling myself too.

But the thing is, moving on is easier said than done. I couldn't count the number of times I've tried to avoid her. I've tried dating other people but it's true that rebound dating doesn't work.

These past few weeks she kept on coming back to me no matter how hard I tried to avoid her. When she's in the room there's a thick, palpable energy between us. I tried not to look at her but she keeps on reaching out to me.

Quitting my job is not an option for me economically.

Trust me when I said I wanted to relocate to a new town, but then Covid happened and it's not possible in my current situation.

I turned to astrology to decipher if there's a karma that I need to resolve with her. What do I need to do to cut this cord. Did i do her dirty in the past. What did I do to deserve this pain.