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Author
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Topic: @stoika @todd, Interpretation
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MonteCristo
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 22, 2020 09:28 AM
  
Hello, thanks for taking the time to read this. I am experiencing this as a fated relationship—we met 2.5 years ago suddenly, both of us stopped in our tracks—and since then, although nothing physically had happened until about a week ago—it’s been a constant chase, with him pursuing me endlessly, romantically, even after he’s moved to a different state. In the past, I always pulled away... for I thought he held some sort of power over me and my defense mechanism kicked in and I never let anything begin with him, until a couple of months ago. And it’s been quite beautiful, actually. What can you see on the longevity, on the binding of this relationship? Would this be too difficult of a union or would this be a life changing, beautiful one, if both parties are mature and evolved enough to handle it? Something has happened which has torn us apart... but I believe it may just be a stumbling block... or perhaps it is a separation forever. I cannot tell. Graham has taken a very insightful look at this which has helped immensely. I’m just trying to look at it from all angles and interpretations at this point. Thank you! Synastry (I’m the inside)   Composite 
His natal
 My natal 
IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 1526
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted December 22, 2020 07:50 PM
Hi MonteCristo,in synastry, your stellium is square his Mars/Pluto/Mercury, which is opposite your Moon and square his Saturn... this is a very intense yet controlling energy, the attraction is quite overwhelming and letting go is very hard, but the red person can have a strong control on the blue one... looking at his natal, he's a Scorpio and has Saturn (in Aqua) in 8th house and square Pluto... he also has Chiron in 2nd house (Virgo) square the Nodes. Then he has Neptune/Uranus square MC/IC-Venus... This looks like someone who struggles in finding accomplishments and self-worth but who can impose his will on others or could be manipulative... with Neptune-Uranus square Venus/IC he's hardly having a stable emotional life, even though he might dream of it, but his entire life looks a bit chaotic and difficult to find a direction... he might have a strong escapism side and difficulties in dedicating himself to find stability. This may not be his own fault, since the nodes square Chiron look quite fated in posing such challenges to his life, but still he might have to put extra efforts which he might be subconsciously escaping instead.
I am saying this cause in Composite you have Uranus/Saturn midpoint conjunct Neptune which is usually an aspect of separation, and with Uranus/Neptune midpoint square Mars, which would point to a difficult committment, usually from the man. Chiron is conjunct Jupiter and square Moon, so this relationship could become potentially emotionally "toxic". South Node is also attached to Chiron, and the Nodes square Moon, this may make such toxic trait even more intense, but honestly it doesn't look like an healthy dynamic to me and difficult to find healing/resolution.
The Venus-Mars midpoint is conjunct Sun and square Uranus, so there's a pontential strong romantic bond but Uranus may pose abrupt changes and challenges, including physical separation or break-up. The Jupiter-Moon midpoint is conjunct MC and square DSC, your relationship could be long term but very unstable with on-off periods and likely not finding a true stability on the long run. Maybe this aspect and the whole unstable picture is why it took long for you to get physically closer and hesitated in getting more intimate with him, while he could not let go. But Neptune square Mars and his natal aspects would suggest me that he's not completely reliable when it takes to get seriosuly committed. IP: Logged |
todd
Knowflake Posts: 4363
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 22, 2020 08:52 PM
Looking at the composite, I come to similar conclusions as stoika.
There is great affection and attraction in this composite,but mars is conjunct to nessus and these are square to the Uranus/Neptune conjunction.this is invariably an aspect of sexual emotional intensity but shows hr is a player.this aspect briskly shows you met him in a very casual environment i.e. club or bars.the need for emotional/social excitement is strong.even though there are aspects showing serious affection,a serious long term relationship is opposed unlikely. It is very exciting and high energy so he is fun and very exciting interesting but once the novelty wears off he will be gone.IP: Logged |
MonteCristo
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 22, 2020 09:43 PM
@stoika and @todd thank you so much. I definitely see the emotional turmoil he goes through, however, he is probably one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. He’s extremely selfless, and extremely, extremely successful and accomplished. He’s also fierce in his loyalty. He’s very confident—but not arrogant—he knows his worth. He is not the player type at all. That’s not to say he isn’t able to be, but sex without intense feelings/love does not entice him. He’s not a monk, but he’s definitely not a player. He describes himself as “an old school gentleman, raised by old school gentlemen,” and I agree. In his pursuit of me, he’s been very clear that he wants me, not only for the physical, but marriage and family. He wants to settle down. He’s 27 and just finished building a house in the suburbs, which he showed to me last week, and spoke of how he was excited to fill it, with me and children. He’s lovely, intense, and has so much depth. I’ve never connected with someone mentally as I have with him. He’s always said, “you’ve just been waiting to meet your perfect match.” And in so many ways, he’s it. I know this would be a difficult relationship —IF we arent wise. But I’m done with frivolous connections. I’ve been in love before but they’ve never encouraged me to rise, they’ve always wanted me to stay at their level. With him, I feel so compelled to be my best self, which is a thrilling feeling in itself. And I understand him. And in many ways he understands me. I think what we both fail in, is that we have a terrible fear of getting hurt by the other. And I unfortunately have hurt him many, many times. This past weekend, we had such an amazing time together; I met his friends, saw his house, we watched Christmas movies and spent quality time together. He is an exciting individual, yes, but I feel more that he’s solid and comforting and understanding than anything. I’m the one that’s more unusual — he says, I’m always surprising him. The issue is that....since I’ve hurt him so many times by rejecting him, I think he’s been very afraid of the same thing happening again. So he misunderstood me when I left his house early to go see a friend. I could tell he was upset when I told him I was leaving. He asked me to stay, but I said I couldn’t, and that we’d see each other in two days. Well, let’s just say that he’s done a complete 180. He completely freaked—not outwardly, he’s too composed for that—but he went into deep overthinking mode, and all of a sudden he stopped being as responsive. He’s always respectful and kind, but it’s as though he shut off. And before I knew it, he said that this wouldn’t work, and said we should part ways. Needless to say, this was devastating...I’ve built some serious feelings for him. In my opinion, he was so hurt and upset that I chose to leave him early—especially when I’ve done the same thing to him before, and especially since we had had such a lovely weekend together, for the first time ever, that he thought , “here she does again, choosing others over me.” He’s been cheated on in both his three year relationship and two year, and I know he has some issues with that. I of course would never do that. But I think since he’s been hurt by me so many times, that he thought that I’d just keep doing things like that over and over, and he freaked, and left before I would ever have the chance to leave him. I just want him to know that’s not true. And I want to know if reconciliation is possible. I just feel like this is the epitome of misunderstandings, and he took it so far. IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 1526
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted December 22, 2020 10:35 PM
Hi again!Well, with composite Neptune square Mars trust issues are also possible. And with Uranus square Mercury, miscommunication and conflicting points of view.
It is possible that his Chiron in 2nd house square the nodes pushes him to accomplish things as a strong self-worth "resolution" to inner struggles. He has Saturn square Mercury and Mars which could be an aspect of recurring depression but also, again, usually a self-blaming aspect (usually coming from a bad relationship with the father or family male figures), so it's possible that his Chiron in 2nd house works for his "healing" through gaining accomplishments or setting strong goals in order to fix a more unstable emotional issue he carries at subconscious level.
His Uranus-Neptune square Moon could also give him idealization but also quick change of mind, so that he might get easily disappointed and disheartened, and when he's disappointed, with natal Saturn square Pluto, he might get a fixed negative opinion and trust issues.
But your relationship doesn't look over, cause transiting Jupiter/Saturn is going to be conjunct to composite North Node in early 2021. Saturn will be square to Composite Moon though, so the issues might not get easily solved. IP: Logged |
Graham
Knowflake Posts: 2002
From:
Registered: Apr 2019
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posted December 23, 2020 03:52 AM
Comment to reflect mindfully upon, rather than reply to :- Have the two of you now identified the event(s) in his childhood which caused him to react negatively (or, throw a toddler-tantrum) when you 'chose others over him'? If not ... are you ok with the thought of living with his subconsciously-driven tantrums for the whole of your married life? And ... if not ok with that thought ... take whatever time is needed to explore this issue, BEFORE entering into a long-term commitment to this relationship. IP: Logged |
comdoc
Knowflake Posts: 1038
From: Tucson
Registered: Feb 2015
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posted December 23, 2020 08:54 AM
Overall synastry potential is only 55% (5.5/10), slightly positive interpersonal synergy. Composite potential is 63% (6.3/10). These are not good numbers for a long term committed relationship.IP: Logged |
MonteCristo
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 23, 2020 09:30 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi again!Well, with composite Neptune square Mars trust issues are also possible. And with Uranus square Mercury, miscommunication and conflicting points of view.
It is possible that his Chiron in 2nd house square the nodes pushes him to accomplish things as a strong self-worth "resolution" to inner struggles. He has Saturn square Mercury and Mars which could be an aspect of recurring depression but also, again, usually a self-blaming aspect (usually coming from a bad relationship with the father or family male figures), so it's possible that his Chiron in 2nd house works for his "healing" through gaining accomplishments or setting strong goals in order to fix a more unstable emotional issue he carries at subconscious level.
His Uranus-Neptune square Moon could also give him idealization but also quick change of mind, so that he might get easily disappointed and disheartened, and when he's disappointed, with natal Saturn square Pluto, he might get a fixed negative opinion and trust issues.
But your relationship doesn't look over, cause transiting Jupiter/Saturn is going to be conjunct to composite North Node in early 2021. Saturn will be square to Composite Moon though, so the issues might not get easily solved.
Hi Stoika! Thank you again. Yes, there’s always an inner war with him, but it pushes him to accomplish a great deal, more than most his age.
I too feel as though this isn’t over... not sure why. I’m hoping you’re right about that transit Jupiter-Saturn aspect to the 5th house Node!
IP: Logged |
MonteCristo
Knowflake Posts: 170
From:
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted December 23, 2020 09:32 AM
quote:
Originally posted by comdoc:
Overall synastry potential is only 55% (5.5/10), slightly positive interpersonal synergy. Composite potential is 63% (6.3/10). These are not good numbers for a long term committed relationship.
Hi Comdoc, thanks for looking into it. Haha, I feel like everyone thinks this is doomed 😂. I just feel like the difficulties will help make the bond stronger. Let me rephrase that—I think overcoming the difficulties will make the bond stronger. And I want that passionate love, the possessive, the jealous even. I want it all. I don’t want some light, frivolous love. Maybe it’s my natal
Pluto in 1st house talking, or Moon in 8th, but I just want that storybook romance; not the Cinderella story, but the Hades and Persephone story. (Many interpretations of that one but I take the positive meaning from it) IP: Logged |
Stoika7
Knowflake Posts: 1526
From: Rome, Italy
Registered: Mar 2019
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posted December 24, 2020 12:07 AM
quote:
Originally posted by MonteCristo:
Hi Stoika! Thank you again. Yes, there’s always an inner war with him, but it pushes him to accomplish a great deal, more than most his age.
I too feel as though this isn’t over... not sure why. I’m hoping you’re right about that transit Jupiter-Saturn aspect to the 5th house Node!
Well, natal Saturn square Pluto is a tough one, usually giving such inner conflicts but as you say also a certain amount of willpower.
I'll be glad to have updates about transiting Saturn/Jupiter! Merry X-mas 🎅 IP: Logged | |
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