posted March 14, 2021 06:16 PM            

I’m caught between trying to get over this person but also understand our connection

The last person I was in love with had a similar aspect in their chart to this part, Moon square Saturn

I wonder if it is my need of nurturing others which attracted me to both people

But then also I feel I’m seen as “innocent” or childish & not worldly, like they stay away for fear they would “break” me & not be able to treat me well, & I’m caught feeling like I need to try & level up & prove I’m on their level & not intimidated by their/our energy, even though I am! & I feel the incongruence of that, & the energy of me trying to prove myself, pushes them away. I can’t separate their energy from “our” energy, in a sense?

If he is interested, I kind of block those signs or choose to disbelieve them, & don’t know how to intuitively respond in the best way to match my own feelings, because of my ambivalent relationship to sexual/erotic/romantic energy ...

I’m afraid of awkwardness, embarrassment & disappointment in relation to myself & men

posted March 14, 2021 10:36 PM            

So are both birthtimes confirmed as accurate?

Right away though, I just wanna say that what you said about yourself makes sense with your double Pisces energy, very beautiful energy btw. You do have an otherworldly quality about you forsure, but never feel like you need to change or be something you aren’t! You are the way you are for a reason, and your soul chose to incarnate at the time (and therefore picked your chart) that you did for a reason too. So honour and appreciate and work with your natural tendencies, whatever they are. And in terms of romance and dating, Pisces is platonic energy, I can understand why you wouldn’t be too comfortable with sex and all that stuff. Especially with your Venus, Mars and Saturn conjunct in Aquarius. Aquarius is also a more trans-personal sign, not concerned with the physical passionate side of life. With Saturn conjunct your two romance, love and sex planets, Saturn is blocking these areas for you and also adding some insecurity, blockages, and inhibitions as Saturn energy always does. You’ll be a late bloomer (Saturn) when it comes to Venus (love, expression of love and receiving it, your ideas of it etc.) and Mars (expressing your physical desires/sex/flirting/initiating it and knowing how to act etc.) and that’s OK! Don’t feel like you need to rush, go at your own natural pace.
I myself have a natal Venus in Capricorn, and mars opposite Saturn. I relate to a lot of what you described in my teen years, I was SO uncomfortable with the idea of someone even knowing I was interested in them, and didn’t even have my first kiss until I was a month shy of my 19th b day! I felt so awkward with boys. But once you meet the right person, everything will change and be easier and you’ll suddenly just feel ok with it, I promise! My advice is to wait until you meet someone you feel attracted to AND comfortable with, and you’ll know who that person is, it will come naturally and be easy. ❤️

posted March 15, 2021 04:25 PM            

My birth time is accurate (inside chart) but his was given as “around 3pm” - not confirmed as accurate, but It places his Sun, Venus & Mercury in his 8th house which really seems to fit

posted March 25, 2021 07:18 PM            

Here is our composite as well

You said in another post falling in love with someone is reflected by 5th/7th or 8th house rulers being activated by house overlay or aspect, especially conjunction ... I enjoy the perspective this gives

- My 5th house ruler Mars, 7th house ruler Mercury & 8th house ruler Moon
- If his birth time is correct, his 5th house ruler Mercury, 7th house ruler Sun & 8th house ruler Mercury

I notice these aspects:
My Mars square his Jupiter
My Moon trine his Jupiter
My Mercury opposite his Sun
His Mercury & Saturn square my Uranus/Neptune

I’m also noticing some interesting aspects by progression ...
- my progressed Mars quincunx his natal Sun
- my progressed Moon opposite his natal Sun
- my progressed Mercury square his progressed Mars

I feel like there is a spiritual & instinctual connection but we’re just not “clicking”/connecting & we’re “out of time” with each other ...

What you wrote above definitely resonates with me, I am a late bloomer for sure & working on true self-acceptance/self-trust & being assertive/more direct ...

in a way I don’t think I am ready for a relationship, like I need to develop a stronger & better relationship with myself first, but I also feel that becoming more comfortable with, & learning to enjoy, male energy on a conversational & bonding level, is also going to be healing for me ...

I only started dating last year & it’s awkward I can’t reciprocate physical affection at the same level many guys would be expecting (I’m late 20s and also attracted to men a little older than me), it means my emotional intelligence (which I consider high) & level of physical experience tend to be somewhat out of kilter with others’ physical experience & emotional availability if that makes sense? (They could potentially be less “available” for having more relationship experience than me)

But I also think that I don’t have the best gauge on my own emotional availability, or my physical inexperience reflects as emotional unavailability to others? And these are awkward things to express directly, yet without expressing them directly I don’t really feel congruent & can’t show up as myself

Thank you for your kind words above, encouragement & time