posted September 06, 2021 09:50 PM            

I just posted the synastry I’m dealing with that involves heavy 12th and 8th house overlays. There’s a lot of good reasons for attempted maintenance of boundaries and refusal to confess feelings.

posted September 08, 2021 06:30 AM            

'Till this day (8 years) I'm not sure about his feelings to me and I think he feels the same thing about me too. There's a lack of trust between us, for me it's because he had been cheating before and caught badmouthing me with false accusations, I feel stabbed from behind and feel betrayed because he acted like someone who I could trust before I found out everything. Once trust is broken, it's hard for me to take it back.

I think for him, he constantly thinks I hide something from him because I'm not a type of woman who easily shares everything to anyone even to a partner. I only share something if it is a very important things. I am very independent and I don't mind if I need to do things alone, definitely not having codependency issue or not a spoiled woman. I'm also not a whiny type and every problem I encounter I try to solve it by myself first. He doesn't believe that there's a woman who looks feminine survived like that. Probably he judges me from how he compares me with his Libra sun ex, and himself who doesn't feel comfortable if he visits places alone, like he always needs a company (talk about 'a fear of being alone').

Our relationship since the beginning brought a lot of pain for me. It's a very deep pain I still carry to this day. I want to have a clean break to avoid us become an enemy since he is a type who easily has negative thoughts about me and we have a kid (I have enough of silent war between us). Numerous times I said to him I couldn't be in the relationship anymore because I always feel stabbed since himself doesn't open up to me about his suspicion but telling other people, it makes people keep attacking me and judge me falsely, it hurts me because I don't like people who don't know what is the real problem in my relationship jumps in like they know everything whenever they meet me. It makes me become more and more close off about things to him to protect myself getting hurt.

Financial matter is also the big problem one, we don't trust each other. For me, because he is a gambler and keep wasting his money like an irresponsible person. For him, because he keeps having this suspicious mind about me, he thinks I will be like his ex who took his money to herself but told him the money was to help her family and he would be praised as a good provider, a good man, anything that good to his ears.

Yes, lack of trust.