posted September 12, 2021 12:56 AM            

After looking into it, I realize it's quite possible Im in limerence over this guy. It made me wonder if this can be seen in synastry? Or is it someones natal chart?

So the thing is, with this guy, it started out with interest and nothing too strong. But something made me look into our synastry chart and after I looked at it I saw so many strong connections.

After knowing more about him I started to see things I liked in him, which also felt like a reflection of myself. We seemed different in ways, like he's more social than myself and more outgoing, but similar in other ways like morals, and outlook on love/relationships. I felt like getting to know him made me fall for him. I feel a connection but the thing is Im not sure if I truly am feeling a more psychic connection or it's just in my head.

I have a tendency to fantasize, and most guys I tend to fall for are often out of my reach. I never take the initiative. So I daydream and make up my own fantasy in my head.

Thanks to synastry I start creating these love scenarios in my head based off it. Over romanticizing it imagining how it would play out.

Now I think there is no doubt strong indicators of attraction in our charts, supposedly possibly mutual, but that I will probably never know. But at least on my part I can vouch for how I feel.

But is it all in my head? Most likely. I dont know what it is about this situation but I CANNOT get him out of my head no matter what I do. Ive even tried to find flaws in him to turn me off to liking him but Im still stuck.
To a degree that I haven't ever before.
In the past, I could more easily let go of crushes I had, even after almost a year of liking them, but with this guy I cant.

The stupid romantic in me wants to believe a crazy scenario like possible soulmate. But I know afterwards I realize how silly it is. But even so as for now I cant shake him off. I just have to deal with it until this limerence fades eventually.

Ive had several dreams of him up til now so I know Im real deep in this limerence.

I think one part of me believes I have a chance but the other part is like "get over it already you just like to imagine things that aren't there". But a symptom of limerence Is a desire for love to be reciprocated. That's exactly how I feel. I feel it very strongly. Even to the point I am jealous of any girl he pays attention to and wish to be her because I so badly want his attention.

To sum it up Im way too deep in this and too invested in him that at this point I finding it to be an episode of limerence.

Which got me wondering if this can be seen in a synastry chart? I would think it's possible to see in a natal chart, but why do I feel this way about him out of all people? It's not like Ive felt this way before, so why do I feel this way about him?

Or is it really in my natal chart? In any case I thought it would be interesting to get some input as this is a topic I haven't seen to often on here. Id be interested in seeing what anyone sees, or if Iimerence can be seen in our synastry chart? Thanks (:

Have any of you experienced limerence? Do you know what your synastry looked like? Was it indicated in your synastry chart or your own chart?

synastry chart:

mine:

posted April 13, 2022 11:12 AM            

SoulOfABird, I am struggling with my second LO (Limerent Object) and I completely identify with that you said:

quote:

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I have a tendency to fantasize, and most guys I tend to fall for are often out of my reach. I never take the initiative. So I daydream and make up my own fantasy in my head.

Thanks to synastry I start creating these love scenarios in my head based off it. Over romanticizing it imagining how it would play out.

---

I think it's important to recognize that the tendency to romanticize and daydream is a form of escape and dissociation, often brought about by one's attachment style, rooted in childhood trauma. In the natal chart, I feel this tendency to fantasize is indicated by Pisces and/or 12th house placements, also Cancer.

Thank you for posting your synastry. I was just comparing my synastry with my two limerent experiences, trying to find the common denominators, so it's really helpful to compare yours as well.

What I found in BOTH my cases:
- conjunctions to my Pholus
- aspects to my Chiron
- PLUTO-MOON (with me as Pluto, and Pluto being the ruler of my 5th house - one is a conjunction, the other is a trine)
- THEIR Pluto trine my MC and opp my Sun
- their Neptune on my DC
- aspects to my AC
- trines to my Mars
- aspects to my Mercury/Juno
- aspects to my Moon/Venus
- my Sun trine their Neptune
- aspects to nodal axis, in both cases conjunctions to South Node, one also NN and the other one a square to my nodal axis

Granted, these people were born less than a year apart, and the outer planet stuff is generational. But coupled with aspects to my South Node, Pholus, Chiron, and personal planets (especially my Pisces Mars), I think they make for intense infatuation aka limerence. It's also important to note that out of all the rulers of my relationship houses (5, 7, 8), they only aspected my 5th house ruler (Pluto, ugh you're killing me lol), not my 7th or 8th house rulers (Saturn and Uranus).

Now I see you also have the following:
- aspects to your Mars
- conjunction to NN
- square to your nodal axis
- PLUTO-MOON DOUBLE WHAMMY
- aspect to your Neptune
- conjunction to your Mercury/Venus (these being rulers of your 7th and 8th houses, respectively)
- conjunction to your Sun
- their Neptune square your Saturn

So even though it's generational, I think Pluto-Moon is what gives that obsessive quality re: what we've discussed many times on this forum. If in addition to that, there are aspects to Mars, the nodal axis (especially conjunctions and squares), and NEPTUNE, plus aspects to relationship house rulers and sun, you've got yourself some limerence. And again, I think Pisces and Cancer placements are particularly vulnerable to this.

To be honest, SoulOfABird, in your case the attraction does look pretty mutual to me. But I don't want to give you false hope. Has anything happened with this guy since you posted?

This video and working on my attachment style have really helped me start to break out of it and understand myself better. I wish you all the best. It really is debilitating and painful. You are right that astrology can make it worse because you can easily veer into magical thinking, but for me now comparing my recent LO with the past LO I can see the commonalities and attribute the feeling to that instead of romanticizing. If that makes sense.

posted April 13, 2022 07:47 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by sashavittoria:
Alma, limerence is a state of obsessive infatuation with a limerent object (LO). Distinct from love (as it is traditionally understood), or lust, limerence is a concept pioneered by psychologist Dorothy Tennov's seminal research as described in her book, "Love and Limerence." It "is a state of mind which results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies as well as a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and to have one's feelings reciprocated. Limerence can also be defined as an involuntary state of intense desire." (Wikipedia) People usually remain in limerence for at least a year, usually several years, suffering from intrusive thoughts and fantasies about LO that diminish their quality of life. It's been related to attachment theory.

SoulOfABird, I am struggling with my second LO (Limerent Object) and I completely identify with that you said:

I think it's important to recognize that the tendency to romanticize and daydream is a form of escape and dissociation, often brought about by one's attachment style, rooted in childhood trauma. In the natal chart, I feel this tendency to fantasize is indicated by Pisces and/or 12th house placements, also Cancer.

Thank you for posting your synastry. I was just comparing my synastry with my two limerent experiences, trying to find the common denominators, so it's really helpful to compare yours as well.

What I found in BOTH my cases:
- conjunctions to my Pholus
- aspects to my Chiron
- PLUTO-MOON (with me as Pluto, and Pluto being the ruler of my 5th house - one is a conjunction, the other is a trine)
- THEIR Pluto trine my MC and opp my Sun
- their Neptune on my DC
- aspects to my AC
- trines to my Mars
- aspects to my Mercury/Juno
- aspects to my Moon/Venus
- my Sun trine their Neptune
- aspects to nodal axis, in both cases conjunctions to South Node, one also NN and the other one a square to my nodal axis

Granted, these people were born less than a year apart, and the outer planet stuff is generational. But coupled with aspects to my South Node, Pholus, Chiron, and personal planets (especially my Pisces Mars), I think they make for intense infatuation aka limerence. It's also important to note that out of all the rulers of my relationship houses (5, 7, 8), they only aspected my 5th house ruler (Pluto, ugh you're killing me lol), not my 7th or 8th house rulers (Saturn and Uranus).

Now I see you also have the following:
- aspects to your Mars
- conjunction to NN
- square to your nodal axis
- PLUTO-MOON DOUBLE WHAMMY
- aspect to your Neptune
- conjunction to your Mercury/Venus (these being rulers of your 7th and 8th houses, respectively)
- conjunction to your Sun
- their Neptune square your Saturn

So even though it's generational, I think Pluto-Moon is what gives that obsessive quality re: what we've discussed many times on this forum. If in addition to that, there are aspects to Mars, the nodal axis (especially conjunctions and squares), and NEPTUNE, plus aspects to relationship house rulers and sun, you've got yourself some limerence. And again, I think Pisces and Cancer placements are particularly vulnerable to this.

To be honest, SoulOfABird, in your case the attraction does look pretty mutual to me. But I don't want to give you false hope. Has anything happened with this guy since you posted?

This video and working on my attachment style have really helped me start to break out of it and understand myself better. I wish you all the best. It really is debilitating and painful. You are right that astrology can make it worse because you can easily veer into magical thinking, but for me now comparing my recent LO with the past LO I can see the commonalities and attribute the feeling to that instead of romanticizing. If that makes sense.

Personally I think a lot of the "twin flame" stuff is actually limerence, and the twin flame ideology can make it much worse. So I'm glad you brought up limerence here!

---

I am going add to the crazy here big time. Can you be in limerance WITH A DEAD PERSON who you've never met in real life?

quote:

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Originally posted by Banana Boat:
I feel the exact same way. I've been getting mixed signals and it's a bit confusing. I haven't had a single response to any of my posts on here but maybe that's a good thing.

---

I am sorry. I have not recieved many replies either and it sucks. But are you sure you're in limerance and not merely infatuated?

posted November 08, 2022 12:30 PM            

I've also been in this situation for almost 2 years and I can't let go.The other person is not even giving hints,but I'm fascinated to the point of obsession.
I'm wondering which of these aspects in our synastry to blame:
-My Moon opposite his Moon and both our Moons square to each other's Pluto.
-My Saturn square his Moon and Sun,his Saturn square my Moon.
-My Saturn sextile his Venus,His saturn sextile my Venus.
-My Juno trine his Venus,his Juno trine my Venus.
-His Venus on my Ascendant.
-His Sun square my Pluto.
-His Mars and Sun widely conjunct my Moon.

I even cried for him once,and I'm not like that at all in my relationships. I should move on months ago and stop thinking about it but I can't. I just hide my feelings and try to survive.

posted November 08, 2022 02:35 PM            

It's very common now a days to think that that is love, which is why there are so many people divorcing, separating, etc.

This thing is very common to Pisces Venus. An exalted planet always goes for the high end of things. More so than other planets in Pisces because we are talking about relationships here.

Very often, Venus in Pisces thinks about that romantic vision that they have about another person and they dont see the reality that is around them, like the reality of the relationship.

Every love of your life will be real only if it takes place in everyday life, of course will all the romance, etc. But often, Pisces Venus does not experience this, but it goes after that high end that they think it's real and it can't bring the relationship to be a long term because they move on to the next person when limerence goes.

I'll give a real example.

My best friend has Pisces Venus - she's "in love" with a guy that is my fathers age. One that only used her for ocassional encounters. As a revenge, when that guy wasn't talking with her, she married to a guy that just met in less than 6 months. 3 or 4 years have passed since then and she is still meeting that guy hoping that she will convince him to stay with her, and dump this guy she married.

So, her relationships are not real, are not happening is real life. That guy is a text message on her phone, and this guy she married is more of a friend than a husband, or even boyfriend. They slept only once together.

posted November 08, 2022 03:09 PM            

Only thing that is in reverse is his Moon on your Sun. But everything else seems pretty good.

Also, I bet it feels great to have Jupiter conjunct Moon in the 1st.