posted November 19, 2021 07:49 AM            

New Hyde Park, NY

5:00pm (birth certificate accuracy).

His DOB: 06/24/1993

Lancaster, SC

His mom said between 5:00-5:30pm (go figure).

We have a few years of history. Lived together for almost two years. We met online and the rest is literally history.

I'm not sure if he's just a Cancer male who isn't ready to settle down yet or a Narcissistic Sociopath like my father.

Either way, mixed signals aren't a good sign.

But then again, other people's viewpoints and opinions on his behavior has me constantly second guessing my observations lol. It's soo confusing.

He keeps popping back up (like all men do). He even went as far as showing up at my parents' house unannounced to get my attention recently. This is almost two years after we broke up. I don't contact him or reach out AT ALL, but he does every 2 months or so since the break up... that he initiated...

He has never been the spontaneous type when it comes to grand displays of affection so him driving 2 1/2 hrs (We live in different States) to leave a note at my parents' door, seems a bit "extra" for someone with mars in virgo opposite saturn, square pluto.

Might I also mention that I have displayed every possible "crazy" tantrum possible so he is no stranger to that. If he knows I am like this and is obviously repulsed by it, why keep trying?

I am so confused and cry almost every other day.

I just want to stop loving him or be with him.. but this in between is killing my spirit.

& before y'all say, just move on. I have lol. I don't reach out to him or his family. I don't keep in contact or hang on to the next time I might possibly hear from him. I have went on with my life (trying anyway) and do not bother him. It is always him who initiates contact.

I act "crazy" sometimes just to remind him that the games won't work.

posted December 05, 2021 09:08 AM            

I was a member of LL years ago and could post no problem form Photobucket, but things have changed dramatically since then.

I know this guy was the catalyst to my "great awakening" but I guess I wanted it to be more than that.

How we met and the similarities between us and our families feels eerily too familiar. Just to give a few light examples: His hometown and the "home" feeling I get is unmatched. Me and my family used to travel to his state every year for our family reunion (Even though where he is, is like 3 hours from where we actually go). There's a guy in his hometown I met years before, (over a decade) at the same beach... without no prior knowledge of my ex and/ or his hometown until meeting him on Instagram explore page years later in 2016.

I know he does not love me as his actions have proved that.. I just want to know why I'm having such a hard time releasing him "back into the wild" haha.

We broke up almost 2 years ago. It still feels like it was yesterday. I am still not over it. And it sucks because I recently reconnected with him (Well him, me) and he seems to just have moved on.

I was hoping the time a part would've sparked some change considering we lived together for 2 out of the 3 years we were together. I'm still so confused.

I genuinely believe he suffers from NPD like my father.. like his father. Like I said, the similarities between us and our families are very weird. It's only weird because he's NOT the one. If we ended up getting married and carrying out the whole shabang, I probably would not be sitting here confused, posting this on LL lol (: seriously. How can so much align yet fall apart?

posted December 05, 2021 09:18 AM            

I experienced something profound within this relationship that expands way beyond the usual relationship hum drum.

I say TF because I really and truly believe, without a doubt, if my ex did not suffer from NPD (undiagnosed but im like 99.9% sure he would be if tested), we would've went off and lived happily ever after. One of the twins is usually avoidant of the connection while the other is not right?

So many more indicators.

And no this isn't just another case where I want something to be true so bad.

posted December 06, 2021 11:19 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by outofideas:
Listen gurl, you really need to put your boundaries up with this trash guy. And definitely let your parents know he's not at all welcome in their home or anywhere else.
I know a guy who is born a day after your ex.
A know-it-all passive-aggressive low-effort ***** .

Stop trying to convince yourself this relationship did anything good to you. And don't fall for the TF crap. The TF definition is that of a karmic if you think about it!
So woman up and take your power back. Don't allow him to come and go as he pleases.
Hell naw!
We don't do that over here.

---

You are so right and thank you for your response lol.

I have put up boundaries, but it was hard not seeing an old boyfriend after not seeing them for awhile.. and I did enjoy our brief meeting. But I want more and obviously he does not.

posted December 06, 2021 12:48 PM            

The negatives are mars square mars, and saturn square mars - those are some of the worst aspects to have in synastry. Explosive arguments, potential for violence, etc.

posted December 06, 2021 08:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by antiphon:
IMO you feel strongly about him because your ascendants are in opposition-a common relationship aspect. Also sun conjunct the ascendant.

The negatives are mars square mars, and saturn square mars - those are some of the worst aspects to have in synastry. Explosive arguments, potential for violence, etc.

When I look at this synastry, I don’t think “What a beautiful relationship! Sadly ruined by one person’s mental health issues.” I think “thank god they’re not together any more.”

---

Ha. Explosive arguments is an understatement. We had some equally sweet spots as well which made it harder for us to go our separate ways. I blame my Venus trine his Sun at 12 seconds from exact and his Venus opposite my Sun at 1 degree. We also had a lot of 8th house action in composite which was yummy for the most part if I must say so myself.

I really believe he was the catalyst to really dealing with the issues with my father. Aside from Saturn, there has to be some other aspects that caused this "great awakening" of sorts.

Sidenote: I went through transit Pluto square Moon during that relationship along with transit Uranus opposite Venus respectively.

What's so confusing about him is, he doesn't follow any of the usual patterns.. anywhere. Astrology. Men. LOL.

He has Moon and mars in Virgo and Venus in Taurus so why is he still wasting his time reaching out to me and putting in effort to drive 2 1/2 hrs if he doesn't want me? I know he doesn't. Granted, that moon-mars conjunction offers an Aries-like edge to that Virgo energy but he also has Saturn opposing it.

posted December 11, 2021 10:47 PM            

His aspects seem to relate to a childhood where he may have had some emotional abuse, either neglect (moon opp. saturn) and/or emotional manipulation (pluto opp. venus) and it's tinged the way he relates to relationships in general. Also, with 4 planets in retrograde, it tends to give him a more introspective personality which alongside his sensitivity could be in direct contrast to what he feels is culturally acceptable, ie. more extroverted preferred. If I were to try to view his actions from his side, he knows he has issues, he knows it's going to take time and he knows the any type of relationship isn't going to last or go anywhere until he does. But he's kind of hoping you'll wait for him while he tries to do it. Having said all that, I wouldn't wait for him. You don't owe him anything and especially when there's no guarantee that he'll change.