posted May 02, 2022 07:59 PM            

why do i feel this- and i just want to know how the hell he feels. i feel like i need to understand him and know what he feels for me or i will lose my mind- but i can’t seem to read him at all. he’s like this blank wall and i cannot see him at all.

what does he feel, what does he think, i wonder so obsessively sometimes… the 8th house is really getting a hold of me here D:

any insights are MUCH appreciated

posted May 03, 2022 05:56 PM            

One of the first things I notice is his Venus on your Psyche. This might give a feeling of starry-eyed-ness + an intuitive, unconscious connection?

Also, your Venus is pretty close to his Dsc. — Which may indicate a strong pull to each other— https://advanced-astrology.com/venus-conjunct-descendant-synastry/ .

Their sun is in your 7th— you could see them as an ideal in a lot of ways.

posted May 03, 2022 06:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by diobrando13:
Hmmm. Long-time dabbler in astrology, but this is my first response post, so take it with a grain of salt!

However, I’ve had a pretty big, life-changing relationship with a guy who had almost all his personal planets in my 8th house. So maybe I can help!

One of the first things I notice is his Venus on your Psyche. This might give a feeling of starry-eyed-ness + an intuitive, unconscious connection?

Also, your Venus is pretty close to his Dsc. — Which may indicate a strong pull to each other— https://advanced-astrology.com/venus-conjunct-descendant-synastry/ .

Their sun is in your 7th— you could see them as an ideal in a lot of ways.

(Also I hope this isn’t unwarranted-coming from someone who has had rollercoaster rides and needing to know how the other person feels, or feeling like I’m going to implode, I hope you find peace, whether it's with him or not. A friend told the the other day — “Men always come back, or their lives get worse”).

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thanks so much for your reply! i appreciate your input so much. how was this connection with the 8th house guy- is it scary? deep?

it’s not unwarranted at all! it’s super useful in fact :] it’s insane how much i feel- and he is literally the embodiment of my ideal in every single way possible. i cant contain my psyche around him- it’s a bit overwhelming at times.

yes our venus psyche conjunction is very particular and i couldn’t find much on it online- so this insight is very convenient. my venus conjunct his dc seems amazing, though i am not 100% sure of his birth time so that may be a shot in the dark- but if it was true it would mean loads!

posted May 03, 2022 09:44 PM            

This guy— I had Moon and Mars in his 8th, and he had Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and NN in my 8th.
I could NEVER read read him. I never understood what was going on with him. A lot of confusing energies— I was pretty young, whereas he was the ‘man around town’— he played me like a fiddle. 8th house definitely manifested in really life-changing sex…. But not in a good way. I learned a lot about what kind of relationship to *not* have, and I developed a pretty complicated relationship with sex afterwards. I was absolutely LOST in him. Lost lost. I remember getting into my dream college and I was busy crying wondering if he liked me. He also liked to talk about death, drugs, sex, all those 8th house topics. I don’t think this guy in particular—not making any assumptions about yours!!—was a very healthy person, at all.

And yet— I’ve grown a lot from it. I certainly wouldn’t go through it again, and don’t recommend it, but I think I’ve avoided a lot of future potential landmines because of the important lessons I learned. It took me a long time to move on, and I remember almost exactly a year later he sent this long, fraught message about how sorry he was and how much he missed me, completely out of the blue. — Which made me feel great, great schadenfreude, to this day.

However! Concerning 8th house overlays, note this: my best friend, of around 15 years, who is my platonic soulmate, I believe, has his Sun, Mercury, Mars, and NN in my 8th. I admit we did experiment sexually with each other, and it kind of put a dent in the relationship for a while, but we bounced back. Anyways, I think an element of it varies from person-to-person and how well you and they can handle the energies. (I will note— I do think this friend has harbored a long time love for me, and I don’t have the same romantic feelings back…but my other friends are convinced we’re going to get married someday).

I will also note that your chart seems to have your Chiron right smack in the middle of all their 8th house planets. Especially near Mercury and Neptune. This might have themes in the relationship around open wounds (on your part) and communication (on his), and I would watch out for that Chiron conj. Neptune— lots of potential for idealization, and even manipulation. Alternatively, this can bring about— once again— these themes of psychic connection and understanding. Quid pro quo.

Godspeed!!
((Here’s another quote, that’s helped me, “There’s a difference between feeling alive, and feeling good.”

posted May 19, 2022 01:33 AM            

Ouch, 8th house contacts can be difficult at best. I had an ex who's moon was almost exctly conjunct my moon in the 8th. Not only was his moon conjunct mine in his 8th, but he had Mars in the 8th (my Sun & Venus' planetary ruler) and Pluto (my Sun & Venus' other planetry ruler) in my 7th on the cusp of the 8th. And of course, the 8th house is ruled by Scorpio, my Sun and Venus.

His Uranus, Mars, Mercury, and Neptune are directly on your Chiron in the 8th. His Venus is also very close to your 8th.

The 8th house is so heavy and some people can't handle it. Did the other person run, because they were afraid of the energy or did something else happen?

It still hurts until this day and I still talk to him, because of the intensity we shred, but I'm actually mosty over it and trying to move past it.

Sometimes we come together with people to help them and we don't get much out of it...we don't think at the time. Do you have some type of trauma bond with them and you just know it in your bones. Can you feel them when they're not there. Sometimes you just really energetically click with somebody and those bonds are stronger with some than with others especially with all the psychic bond brought by Neptune paired with Mercury. You then get the Mars, a super sexual energy.

posted May 19, 2022 10:20 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by astrogal:
I concur with DioBrando13.

Ouch, 8th house contacts can be difficult at best. I had an ex who's moon was almost exctly conjunct my moon in the 8th. Not only was his moon conjunct mine in his 8th, but he had Mars in the 8th (my Sun & Venus' planetary ruler) and Pluto (my Sun & Venus' other planetry ruler) in my 7th on the cusp of the 8th. And of course, the 8th house is ruled by Scorpio, my Sun and Venus.

His Uranus, Mars, Mercury, and Neptune are directly on your Chiron in the 8th. His Venus is also very close to your 8th.

The 8th house is so heavy and some people can't handle it. Did the other person run, because they were afraid of the energy or did something else happen?

It still hurts until this day and I still talk to him, because of the intensity we shred, but I'm actually mosty over it and trying to move past it.

Sometimes we come together with people to help them and we don't get much out of it...we don't think at the time. Do you have some type of trauma bond with them and you just know it in your bones. Can you feel them when they're not there. Sometimes you just really energetically click with somebody and those bonds are stronger with some than with others especially with all the psychic bond brought by Neptune paired with Mercury. You then get the Mars, a super sexual energy.

It's alot to unpack and I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope it gets better. If you have any other questions, I'll be here to answer them and give you my take.

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Thank you so much! It IS very intense indeed, and it feels much deeper than surface level, as the 8th house would suggest!

It's a painful experience and i am sorry that you had to go through it aswell, but very happy to hear that you are able to move past it!

I would actually love to hear your take on what you think he was feeling/thinking. We talked for a while and there was distance separating us at some point as well as external aspects and people who would disapprove if we were together. I think we were both sort of scared and unwilling to go this deep or let anyone in this far.

I could see past all that, but my issue was always not being able to tell what he felt. I know i felt intensely, deeply. But i couldnt tell what his first impression was and if he eventually loved me like i loved him. We never spoke about that much. It was mostly just feeling each other mentally, despite the distance. Words usually werent needed- but i realised that i did need them in the end.

So i would love to hear what you think he felt for me, how he saw me and how this would play out in a marriage, if you would like to give your take on it! (: