posted May 17, 2022 06:41 PM            

I still remember when Taylor Swift released a video for her song 'All Too Well' and everything they lived through reminded me of my relationship.

I also remember watching Sex Education, that Netflix series, and I felt like she was Eric and I was Adam. I had never been romantic; I always seemed cold and distant but with her I changed and I even dedicated a part of the poem he wrote to him: 'But it didn’t know how to feel, until I thought about losing you. I knew we wouldn’t last forever. I was waiting for this day but I hope we can fix things and if we can’t, I will always thank you for showing me I have a heart'.

I'm actually almost crying while writing this. I think I'm more angry than sad.

What do you think of our Synastry and Composite Chart?

If you want to know more details about all this:

I met this girl in December 2020 when the sun was conjunct my Juno/Vertex. Honestly, I just wanted something casual, so I was flirting with a lot of women at the same time. But only with her I had virtual conversations for months until in July we had our first date and I was drunk and happy and she asked me if I wanted to be her girlfriend, I said yes. Everything was very nice, I was very happy until we had a discussion about ugly things that happen, such as racism, xenophobia, etc... And she was very cold and even cruel about it. I was disappointed because I don't say that I am an angel but I have a lot of empathy. Everything started to get worse from that moment. I cried a lot and she apologized.

Well, I'm not going to tell everything that happened in great detail, but here it goes. I have suffered for my mental health for years and for a long time I was suicidal, so I know that I am not easy but she was mean to me! She still had feelings for a girl she fell in love with or obsessed over and that girl just used her to buy her everything she wanted. She lied to me a lot! I'm very intuitive and I knew everything but she kept lying. She seemed like a narcissist.
She flirted with teenagers; she was 25 at the time and her 'friends' were like 18, 19. I told her I didn't like that but she kept doing it and sometimes hid it from me. She was supposed to be completely lesbian but I don't know.

She told me a lot of ugly things about my physique, like that I need to gain weight and some things about my teeth. She told me that I have to change my style of dress, my makeup and hair and I hated that.

Every time she did something that hurt me, I wanted to solve those problems and in a peaceful way I told her everything that was going through my mind but her first reaction was to get angry and deny everything, she was like that for minutes until she understood me and she apologized.

We broke up n February and it was because I decided to. The last time the last time we were together and the last messages she sent me, well everything were sooo cold, short and cruel and inmature. I know that being with a mentally ill person is not easy but I tried everything to make our relationship work and she always focused on the negative. She was good to me after I sent her that message saying that I wanted our relationship to end and she told me that she promised me that she would improve in everything and that she would take care of herself (she is obese) but I didn't care anymore. She wrote all that as saying 'we are not together now but we can be in the future'. She kept sending me messages but with memes or tiktok videos, nothing deep, no response from me until I decided to remove her from social media. That was the end.

posted May 18, 2022 11:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Stoika7:
Hi MilaBirkin... thank you for sharing.

I am looking at the Composite and I see a very karmic situation, with the Nodes square Neptune, Vertex conjunct Moon quincunx Sun/Venus, and Chiron opposite Sun and square to the Jupiter/Lilith opposition. This is a complicated Grand Square at psychological level... I wouldnt say it suggests plain abuse, and the Jupiter/Lilith opposition says there is no cruel intention, but still Chiron in this Grand Square may suggest a situation of inner unresolved issues mirrored in the relationship, and Chiron square Lilith may also suggest the involvement of one person who may express cruelty/coldness, no true affection, since Mercury is widely involved in the square, likely this cruel expression is mainly verbal... In any case, Chiron here shows deep damage and added to the Pluto square Moon it can play out pretty toxic... I believe this configuration point to learning about one's own vulnerability through this painful relationship, but it may also point to uncoscious masochism/self-damaging attitude. Mainly I can't see a plain abusive relationship, but a bipolar/toxic one for sure which involves the inability to find "healing" through the relationship. I hope this helps...

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posted May 18, 2022 01:50 PM            

I'm glad you broke it off with her. A very important step in healing.

Having been there myself (people with higher empathy than average, tend to be NPD magnets btw), the best thing to do is to take some time off from relationships, work on yourself, and then when you feel you have faced some of your shadow, learned to love and accept yourself more, etc.

Then set an intention by asking the Universe/the Creator/your Higher/Expanded self, or whatever you believe in, "Please bring to me a partner that is more loving, healthy, and positive than not--someone I can grow together with in by the example of mutual Love and by helping each other to be our better selves."

Have trust and faith that this will come to you when the time is the best for you. Meanwhile, learn how to deveop your NPD, BPD, and ASPD-dar. These folks can be very good at hiding their true selves, but what they can't fake or charm distract you from, is their auras/consciousness emanation. If you look past the fake smiles, their vivacious and highly sexually charged energy, etc, you can feel a heaviness from them.

And if you learn to see the aura colors at all, then watch out for patterns like a lot of dark reds, absence of light aka black, a lot of red oranges, a lot of browns, dark and muddy yellows, and/or very dark, muddy greens. The more of these kind of colors you see or sense/feel, the more and more ego and lack of self love and love for others there will be. The more and more of a separative type consciousness.

Thus the higher and higher the probability of being within one of the above personality disorder spectrum's such as NPD, BPD, or ASPD.

Some people get there by trauma, abuse, or the like, but some people are just born this way because on a Soul level they are very immature and have A LOT to learn about important things like love, connection, compassion, empathy. Many have some of both going on, which is why there are plenty of people out there who have gone through trauma, abuse, etc, who still end up with very loving, kind hearts because on a Soul level they are more mature.

posted May 19, 2022 06:13 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosionV2:
Reading your account, I kept thinking/feeling, sounds like the partner may be a narcissist, and then I read your line, "She seemed like a narcissist." and I thought, Bingo!

I'm glad you broke it off with her. A very important step in healing.

Having been there myself (people with higher empathy than average, tend to be NPD magnets btw), the best thing to do is to take some time off from relationships, work on yourself, and then when you feel you have faced some of your shadow, learned to love and accept yourself more, etc.

Then set an intention by asking the Universe/the Creator/your Higher/Expanded self, or whatever you believe in, "Please bring to me a partner that is more loving, healthy, and positive than not--someone I can grow together with in by the example of mutual Love and by helping each other to be our better selves."

Have trust and faith that this will come to you when the time is the best for you. Meanwhile, learn how to deveop your NPD, BPD, and ASPD-dar. These folks can be very good at hiding their true selves, but what they can't fake or charm distract you from, is their auras/consciousness emanation. If you look past the fake smiles, their vivacious and highly sexually charged energy, etc, you can feel a heaviness from them.

And if you learn to see the aura colors at all, then watch out for patterns like a lot of dark reds, absence of light aka black, a lot of red oranges, a lot of browns, dark and muddy yellows, and/or very dark, muddy greens. The more of these kind of colors you see or sense/feel, the more and more ego and lack of self love and love for others there will be. The more and more of a separative type consciousness.

Thus the higher and higher the probability of being within one of the above personality disorder spectrum's such as NPD, BPD, or ASPD.

Some people get there by trauma, abuse, or the like, but some people are just born this way because on a Soul level they are very immature and have A LOT to learn about important things like love, connection, compassion, empathy. Many have some of both going on, which is why there are plenty of people out there who have gone through trauma, abuse, etc, who still end up with very loving, kind hearts because on a Soul level they are more mature.

It is like the difference between A.H. (younger/less mature Soul) and J.D. (somewhat more mature Soul with empathy and kindness even though he experienced significant childhood abuse/trauma).

---

Oh wow, I really like everything you wrote. I don't know if this is going to 'sound' weird or if it will make you uncomfortable (I hope not) but I felt like you gave me a hug with everything you wrote. Thank you.

posted May 19, 2022 06:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by charlie:
I assume she's the Aries..an undeveloped, mean, bully-Aries. Just walk away because with your Cancer Moon you'll succumb to the sheer idiocy. Don't let HER words stick on you because YOUR words would never stick on her. That's the game of a narcissist.

---

posted May 19, 2022 07:28 PM            

Doesn't sound weird nor did it make me feel uncomfortable at all. I like helping people and/or making them feel good, though I've reached a stage in life where I sometimes also now engage in tough love as well (becoming more Cap Sun over time I guess).

I was meditating one time with one of my female friends, and during the meditation I decided to give her a consciousness/spirit hug (she's a Pisces Sun). She apparently felt/experienced it, because after the meditation I asked her if she had any perceptions or experiences, and she said that at one point, she felt engulfed in purple and gold light (these are two of my strongest aura colors which I knew of before this, but she didn't). I just nodded and smiled.

I like to hug physically and nonphysically.

Somewhat oddly, you were born a handful of days (same year and month) after a woman I was briefly involved with and liked, but who ended up ghosting me. (didn't really take it personally, nor was I that attached. I asked a mutual friend about her later and she said that she seemed like she was feeling overwhelmed by life).

This world certainly can be and seem very cold at times, especially for us folks with higher empathy. But there is a lot of beauty and goodness too. But yeah, it is hard to be a deeper and/or older Soul in this world, because generally speaking, this is a "younger soul" world/school.

Believe me, I more than understand the sentiment, and have felt very alone, isolated, etc ever since quite young. But, you are here for a reason, and ultimately, that reason is to raise the vibratory rates of this world/humanity with your own older soulness and the vibrations/energies you emanate.

There are many Souls, especially in the last 70 years or so, who are coming into the earth from other systems, other schools that are more mature than this one, for that very same purpose--to try to shift this world/humanity into a more positive and Love centered direction.

And as I was talking with my friend Sasha here about this very thing recently, we talked about how many of us are kind of spread out in the world--there are not a lot of us within the same exact areas. And this is to spread the Light over a farther reach and area. It makes for an often, at least somewhat lonely life, but once this life is over, you'll look over it all and be happy that you helped out and were part of the big plan to nudge the world towards the Light. Thank you for coming and for being here. Your service and sacrifice is very appreciated.

Things will get better on the earth at some point. The probable future is that about in 10 years, humanity will be far more collectively loving, positive, and aware than currently. But we will go through a lot of collective challenge meanwhile.

Art is great. I'm more of a music person myself (and especially love to sing), but I see a lot of value in all the various different arts.

posted May 19, 2022 07:45 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MilaBirkin:
Yes, she is and yes, I think I have already decided that I no longer want to date people who have moons in air and fire signs.
I needed that advice, thanks!

---

Oh, we're not all that bad. It is really more of a whole chart thing. Actually, in your ex's chart, there are so many repeating highly selfish indications (for example, Aries Sun conjunct Aries Mars, etc), that her Libra Moon is one of the few counter balances towards a more "others" focused pattern, but it is overwhelmed by all the very self focused stuff.

I happen to have Libra Moon, and was born a hyper empath. But there are a lot of things in my chart that support that. Very strong Jupiter (people forget that Jupiter still very much takes part in ruling Pisces), pretty strong Neptune, angular Pisces South Node (in the 7th), moderately highlighted 12th, strong Venus, etc

For example, for whatever reason(s), I've known a fair amount of folks with Scorpio Moon, and they have really ranged and varied with their respective degree of maturity or lack. My full brother who has Scorpio Moon, is pretty evolved. Others I have met have been less so, to far less so. Based on such a varied experience, I can't make any generalizations about Scorpio Moon folks being particularly evolved or unevolved, kind or cruel, etc. Really depends on the whole chart and even more importantly, how they use their freewill in the present.

A birth chart does not, and cannot, show how a person is using their freewill in the present. Freewill can make changes to the chart. It can either lift it up, or bring it down. It's why Souls/Higher selves almost never reincarnate with exactly the same chart. Because it is the use of the freewill in a particular life, that shapes/affects what a chart is going to look like in a future life.

Btw, forgot to mention my last reply, that while it sounds like it would be a very good idea for you to spend some time alone and healing etc, don't take it too far and retreat far within self for too long, because with Taurus S.N. conjunct your Asc, that is a tempting, familiar, old pattern to engage in.

With your NN conjunct your Desc, you are meant to be involved with closer relationships in this life, even though it will not be easy or light all the time. That is the path of greater soul growth for you, and soul growth almost always involves discomfort.

posted June 03, 2022 10:43 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosionV2:
Hi Mila,

Doesn't sound weird nor did it make me feel uncomfortable at all. I like helping people and/or making them feel good, though I've reached a stage in life where I sometimes also now engage in tough love as well (becoming more Cap Sun over time I guess).

I was meditating one time with one of my female friends, and during the meditation I decided to give her a consciousness/spirit hug (she's a Pisces Sun). She apparently felt/experienced it, because after the meditation I asked her if she had any perceptions or experiences, and she said that at one point, she felt engulfed in purple and gold light (these are two of my strongest aura colors which I knew of before this, but she didn't). I just nodded and smiled.

I like to hug physically and nonphysically.

Somewhat oddly, you were born a handful of days (same year and month) after a woman I was briefly involved with and liked, but who ended up ghosting me. (didn't really take it personally, nor was I that attached. I asked a mutual friend about her later and she said that she seemed like she was feeling overwhelmed by life).

This world certainly can be and seem very cold at times, especially for us folks with higher empathy. But there is a lot of beauty and goodness too. But yeah, it is hard to be a deeper and/or older Soul in this world, because generally speaking, this is a "younger soul" world/school.

Believe me, I more than understand the sentiment, and have felt very alone, isolated, etc ever since quite young. But, you are here for a reason, and ultimately, that reason is to raise the vibratory rates of this world/humanity with your own older soulness and the vibrations/energies you emanate.

There are many Souls, especially in the last 70 years or so, who are coming into the earth from other systems, other schools that are more mature than this one, for that very same purpose--to try to shift this world/humanity into a more positive and Love centered direction.

And as I was talking with my friend Sasha here about this very thing recently, we talked about how many of us are kind of spread out in the world--there are not a lot of us within the same exact areas. And this is to spread the Light over a farther reach and area. It makes for an often, at least somewhat lonely life, but once this life is over, you'll look over it all and be happy that you helped out and were part of the big plan to nudge the world towards the Light. Thank you for coming and for being here. Your service and sacrifice is very appreciated.

Things will get better on the earth at some point. The probable future is that about in 10 years, humanity will be far more collectively loving, positive, and aware than currently. But we will go through a lot of collective challenge meanwhile.

Art is great. I'm more of a music person myself (and especially love to sing), but I see a lot of value in all the various different arts.

---

Hi! I just read everything you wrote and it made me feel good. I'm glad it wasn't weird for you.
You know? I thought you were a Capricorn, it was my intuition really, so it's funny.
What you wrote about that experience with your friend, how amazing. I'm interested in all that. Thank you so much for sharing it. :-) I wish I could see auras. I should learn how to do it soon.

Your words are really beautiful and you gave me good feelings. I am also very interested in everything about souls and this world as well.
Lately I'm sad and angry but I fight it. I'm like this mostly because one of my dogs ran away from my house a month ago and I miss her and I'm worried but something tells me she's okay. I just want to know about my dog.
So again I felt a hug from you and I appreciate it very much. You seem like an extremely different person to those around me and obviously that's a compliment. :-)

posted June 03, 2022 10:51 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GalacticCoreExplosionV2:
Oh, we're not all that bad. It is really more of a whole chart thing. Actually, in your ex's chart, there are so many repeating highly selfish indications (for example, Aries Sun conjunct Aries Mars, etc), that her Libra Moon is one of the few counter balances towards a more "others" focused pattern, but it is overwhelmed by all the very self focused stuff.

I happen to have Libra Moon, and was born a hyper empath. But there are a lot of things in my chart that support that. Very strong Jupiter (people forget that Jupiter still very much takes part in ruling Pisces), pretty strong Neptune, angular Pisces South Node (in the 7th), moderately highlighted 12th, strong Venus, etc

For example, for whatever reason(s), I've known a fair amount of folks with Scorpio Moon, and they have really ranged and varied with their respective degree of maturity or lack. My full brother who has Scorpio Moon, is pretty evolved. Others I have met have been less so, to far less so. Based on such a varied experience, I can't make any generalizations about Scorpio Moon folks being particularly evolved or unevolved, kind or cruel, etc. Really depends on the whole chart and even more importantly, how they use their freewill in the present.

A birth chart does not, and cannot, show how a person is using their freewill in the present. Freewill can make changes to the chart. It can either lift it up, or bring it down. It's why Souls/Higher selves almost never reincarnate with exactly the same chart. Because it is the use of the freewill in a particular life, that shapes/affects what a chart is going to look like in a future life.

Btw, forgot to mention my last reply, that while it sounds like it would be a very good idea for you to spend some time alone and healing etc, don't take it too far and retreat far within self for too long, because with Taurus S.N. conjunct your Asc, that is a tempting, familiar, old pattern to engage in.

With your NN conjunct your Desc, you are meant to be involved with closer relationships in this life, even though it will not be easy or light all the time. That is the path of greater soul growth for you, and soul growth almost always involves discomfort.

---

Oh yes, you are right about everything. When I wrote to you I was not being too objective. I always say that we do not have to generalize. I was just blinded because I still have feelings for that person, haha, I'm not in love anymore tho.
My brother is my favorite person and he has a Libra moon too and I also had friends with a Libra moon but none of these people are very empathic. My brother is charming and loves to help but he is a Virgo.

You have things in your Natal Chart that make you a nice person. :-) At least, that's what I think.

posted June 05, 2022 04:18 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MilaBirkin:
Hi! I just read everything you wrote and it made me feel good. I'm glad it wasn't weird for you.
You know? I thought you were a Capricorn, it was my intuition really, so it's funny.
What you wrote about that experience with your friend, how amazing. I'm interested in all that. Thank you so much for sharing it. :-) I wish I could see auras. I should learn how to do it soon.

Your words are really beautiful and you gave me good feelings. I am also very interested in everything about souls and this world as well.
Lately I'm sad and angry but I fight it. I'm like this mostly because one of my dogs ran away from my house a month ago and I miss her and I'm worried but something tells me she's okay. I just want to know about my dog.
So again I felt a hug from you and I appreciate it very much. You seem like an extremely different person to those around me and obviously that's a compliment. :-)

Thank you so much for everything. If I weren't so sad, I would write more.
I hope you're having a nice day.

---

I'm glad it made you feel good Mila. Look at your sharp intuition there. While Capricorn is my strongest Sign, since my chart ruler, the Sun is in Capricorn, and the ruler of 4 Virgo placements, Mercury is also in Capricorn--growing up and first learning about astrology, I identified a lot more with Pisces (and some with Aquarius) than Capricorn.

I wish I could physically see auras as well. Most often sense/feel them. I can see the etheric glow around people and living things pretty easily, but only have seen the colors a couple times in my life.

I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I hope she either comes home soon and is otherwise ok. I will put in a prayer towards this.

Thanks, I've been fairly good of late, and I hope you are having a nice weekend.

posted June 05, 2022 04:29 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by MilaBirkin:
Oh yes, you are right about everything. When I wrote to you I was not being too objective. I always say that we do not have to generalize. I was just blinded because I still have feelings for that person, haha, I'm not in love anymore tho.
My brother is my favorite person and he has a Libra moon too and I also had friends with a Libra moon but none of these people are very empathic. My brother is charming and loves to help but he is a Virgo.

You have things in your Natal Chart that make you a nice person. :-) At least, that's what I think.

And yes, you're right again, my comfort zone is being alone with myself. :/
Thanks for helping me!

---

No worries, and I understand. Sometimes it is hard to not generalize, especially after either difficult or very happy experiences with others.

But, an interesting fact is, strong Taurus has an 8th House type reaction to strong Libra energy. This means that strong Taurus often is either kind of repelled by strong Libra, and/or very intensely attracted to it.

Conversely, strong Libra has an 8th House kind of reaction and dynamic with strong Pisces, and how strong Taurus tends to react to strong Libra, is how Libra tends to react to strong Pisces. Interesting no? Especially in light that you have both Pisces and Taurus quite highlighted in your chart.

Thanks, I do try to be nice, but like almost every Soul connected to a human body, I have a dark, selfish side and ego. I've accepted that as long as I'm connected to a physical, human body, I will probably always have at least a little bit of that going on. My Soul on the other hand, is quite loving and positive. Unusually so.

We often need to realize that we have different and competing levels of self that influence and affect us. Including the physical body, the Soul, and our Higher/Expanded self level. These all have their own different reactions, desires, wants, needs, tendencies, and energies and they don't always harmoniously align with one another.

You're very welcome sweet Mila. Remember what I said earlier. After you've done some healing and processing in relation to your just previous relationship, ask your Higher/Expanded self, God, pure Love, etc, to send you people that are faster vibratory, and more positive and loving than not. It doesn't have to be romantic/sexual either.

But be specific. Ask for them to be in your physical proximity. Otherwise, you might just get online friends/connections that you can't spend time with in physical.