posted September 12, 2022 12:16 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by rainyvirgo:
Okay. So obviously moon sq uranus is not really a great aspect to have in synastry. But if I have someone that I have really good synastry and composite with in general, and one of our more challenging aspects is moon square uranus, (his uranus is Sq my moon with a 1 degree orb) but I really want to try and make it work, how would we go about making it work and getting past the uranus square? Like obviously the square is a challenge and an opportunity for growth and with a trine or sextile the energy is flowing and harmonious and just works. So how could I/we consciously act in a way like how a trine or sextile would and overcome the challenge of the square?

His venus and saturn are also square my moon but I don’t really have any questions about that. I’ll definitely be interested in reading if anyone has something to say about it but I don’t expect thoughts about everything, I’m mainly hoping for answers about uranus

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posted September 13, 2022 10:46 PM            

I do have venus opposite uranus, and a bit more loosely (6-7 degrees) Mercury and mars opposite uranus

He has venus opposite uranus in his chart too, and that venus/uranus opposition is square my moon/Jupiter
My uranus is opposite his sun/Mercury (and my venus/merc conjunct them) and is sextile his moon/mars conjunction

So far I feel like there is an erratic dynamic emotionally, when I want him to be close to me he isn’t necessarily in the same emotional mood or place at the same time or whatever. In the beginning we were very close all the time when it was new I guess before the excitement of a new love interest wore off and then there started being distance and coldness and then he missed me and there was a bit more closeness but the closeness never maintains in an actually stable close way

I seem to have found like I have a way of dealing with it possibly idk like it’s stabilized a little bit but it’s still not “stable” - I have found if I withhold my emotions/keep a distance and don’t tell him my feelings he will try to be closer to me. It just sucks like because I have to be distant to get what I want/need from him. Or for him to feel that he really does want to be closer to me. But then I also reassure him sometimes but I have to do it very carefully and still with some distance and like this evening I made the mistake of telling him something of my feelings pertaining to recent events and immediately feeling like I’ve lost control / I don’t have the upper hand anymore currently / I’m not in a “position of power” now for lack of a better term and I realized over the last month and especially the last few weeks how much I need/want to be in a position of power emotionally to be comfortable

(and I’m sure that’s also related to the pluto we have going on - his moon/mars trine my mars/pluto trine, sun/Mercury trine my pluto/conjunct my mars, and my venus square his pluto, and his moon/mars are in my 8th house, and his sun/Mercury are in my 12th, my Jupiter is in his 8th, my venus/Mercury/mars are in his 12th. Obviously 12th isn’t pluto but it’s a water house and it adds more of the spiritual/psychological element to things)

But I kinda feel almost like that feeling of having the upper hand slightly replaces and makes up for me not being able to tell him my feelings openly as much anymore because I found that he gives me more if I keep it to myself

Basically he has some anger issues and he takes it out on me sometimes or other people and if I just argue/fight back and then/or go silent and stop replying he calms down and regrets it and is apologetic and feels like he’s damaged things and he says he wants me and wants to fix things etc etc.

This evening we were on a phone call and I said that I’d rather he takes his anger out on me than on other people (this past weekend there was a pretty big drama where he blew up on a friend of ours over text and it got posted on Facebook and then he blew up at me bc I was upset that he wouldn’t calm down and stop. Also he has moon/mars in Aries conjunct his midheaven lol so that literally manifested as his anger being posted online) because I can take it and I understand him and they don’t, and I can give him space to feel his feelings without judgment, but then I felt like he wasn’t giving me back emotionally what I was giving him by telling him that and I felt like I gave away the fact that his lashing out doesn’t really push me away and I felt almost sick like I’d lost something for telling him that. He didn’t have much to say like I hoped he would he just started talking about something else which was really disappointing. I miss when he would be more moved by or responsive to me reassuring him that he is accepted for who he is and not judged. But it’s whatever I guess. We’re also long distance right now and if we ever live together I think the physical aspect of the relationship would maybe make up for it bc we have a lot of passion/chemistry between us. But basically I have to be subtle and like not say anything too reassuring and just let him stress a bit but I actually don’t go anywhere and remain stable

I think even tho he wants security bc he’s afraid of being hurt again he also needs to feel some uncertainty or distance from me bc of his behavior for him to feel the desire to be closer to me and I have to play a game with him almost

I know that sounds kinda crazy maybe but idk it’s not really, I am just trying to make it work for him with his relationship patterns bc we both have venus opposite uranus so I know what it’s like to lose some fire when things are too stable, and if I show restraint then he gets to feel more desire to be close to me and I get to feel him wanting me more

But I hope and feel like it’ll be better irl because of the physical aspect, I want to be able to just openly love on him because I feel like I found someone I actually want to pour everything into and can give my full expression of love to. And I want to help him with his issues, I feel like I have started to already and that with time he’ll get better because he’ll have me and won’t be so lonely and anxious all the time and won’t be so quick to anger. He’s been betrayed a lot and he lashed out at our friend bc of a perceived betrayal (which wasn’t actually, he kinda put words in her mouth and misunderstood something she said and it triggered him and his past experiences with people. Her husband is the one that posted it online not her btw, and then he deleted it a couple hours later)