posted February 19, 2023 08:46 AM            

I say he is the runner, because as of 2022 he finally moved into a cheaper place he was on a waiting list for (since 2015). It was in that moment of him telling me how long he waited: I realized in most timelines, we were never going to live together nor remain together past 2022. One of my romantic needs is to be domestically settled down with someone (Venus Cancer). But even if we tried harder to make life more affordable to support each other, the pandemic would have torn us apart.

Since 2021, I have been spiritually realizing why I have the medical conditions I do, what I've missed out on and why it's a good thing I did, and most of all I have new clarity of why my twin flame journey is as it is.

We met in a dream 2 months before meeting in-person in 2012. In the dream there were past life themes of an arranged marriage and engagement gifts. I saw his face, his suited body and slightly slouched posture. I also teleported in the dream, to Egypt. I saw people going into a temple or pyramid (stood so close, hard to tell what it was).

My twin flame is an Egyptian Arab descendant born in Canada. He and I were always meant to meet, is what I believe. I guessed his name correctly, too.

All my life I have been fascinated with Ancient Egypt. Through my school years, I studied world religions, world history, and the traditional journeys other cultures have. It was as though I had been learning about my twin flame for years before we met.

I outgrew so many racial prejudices, so much ignorance about how other religions are the same in essence as the one I was brought up in (Christianity). I became a better version of myself. I then miraculously found him as soon as I began college in a city faraway from home.

We fell in love deeply. Our first kiss was electric with a spark of light between our lips. Being in his embrace made me feel so at peace. We laid together often, listening to soft metal/rock and beautiful trance music, feeling like we are in our own world. We communicated a lot and often.

He and I suffer from mental health issues, but he slowly overcame his. My own self-healing journey is beginning now, with my Saturn return upcoming. Even if we may never be romantically together again, he is my mentor. He is my muse for loving and living. Being with him taught me how to love somebody else with any mental health condition. Being with him taught me it's okay to have the conditions I do. He really is my twin flame, because of that profound growth, that I am only processing now.

I began writing poetry again, after I reunited with him as just friends in 2022. I was grieving the loss of two family members, so I needed him. I had 2 romantic dreams of him before we reunited as friends, in 2022. Coincidentally, the dreams happened after he broke up with his 2018-2022 girlfriend. I believed he was missing me and turns out I was right.

After months of visiting him sparsely, I feel head over heels again. Unfortunately, I am in a relationship with someone else I came to deeply love since 2018. I feel karmically or fatefully bound to this partner. It's complicated only for me, but I am being as mature as I can be about it. I will wait to be with my twin flame forever. His friendship and care for me is all I really need, until he chooses to come back to me. We talk and text daily (I thank the stars for his Moon conjunct my Mercury).

We scored 54 points on IQ's Soul Mate Calculator.

Our Synastry Chart
(I am inner circle of blue symbols)
(He is outer circle of red symbols)
[img]https://i.imgur.com/2uu3Aky.png[/img]

[img]https://i.imgur.com/IUsr8Dy.png[/img]
Significant synastry aspects I highlighted. I feel the orb of the Nodes' seemingly too-wide aspects. I felt it from the moment we met. I adore him. 

Synastry (Me-Him)
Sun opposite Venus (Orb 7°)
Moon opposite Venus (Orb 0°)
Sun trine Saturn (Orb 3°)
Moon trine Saturn (Orb 2°)
Sun opposite Neptune (Orb 4°)
Mercury conjunct Moon (Orb 3°)
Venus trine Uranus (Orb 5°)
Venus conjunct North Node (Orb 4°)
Mars opposite Ascendant (Orb 1°)
Jupiter trine Moon (Orb 1°)
Jupiter conjunct Ascendant (Orb 7°)
Saturn trine Moon (Orb 8°)
Saturn trine Ascendant (Orb 0°)
Uranus opposite North Node (Orb 1°)
Neptune opposite North Node (Orb 4°)
Pluto conjunct Uranus (Orb 2°)
Pluto opposite Chiron (Orb 4°)
North Node conjunct Uranus (Orb 4°)
North Node opposite Chiron (Orb 2°)
Ascendant conjunct Saturn (Orb 3°)
Midheaven conjunct Moon (Orb 9°)
Anti-Vertex conjunct Sun/Mercury/Pluto (Orb 0°)
Sun conjunct Vertex (Orb 5°)
Venus conjunct Pars Fortunae (Orb 1°)

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My Natal Aspects of my Twin Flame Journey:

T-Square
Venus opposite Uranus/Neptune
Venus square Vertex
Uranus/Neptune square Vertex 
(Fated to fall in love, but also fated to "fall out" of love as well.)

7th Ruler Mars In 8th, Apex of Grand Trine Kite (Life-changing relationships guide me.)

Mystic Rectangle
Venus trine North Node/sextile South Node
Neptune trine South Node/sextile North Node
Venus opposite Neptune

Angular Boomerang Yod (Ascendant-Descendant apexes, aspecting Mars and Saturn, Orb less than 2°). 

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His Natal Aspects of Twin Flame Journey:

Yod
Chiron in 7th quincunx Neptune
Chiron in 7th quincunx Jupiter
Jupiter sextile Neptune

Neptune opposite Vertex (Orb 0°)

North Node in 9th House (Overcoming unnecessary restrictions in life, learning more about the spiritual side to life.)

7th House Ruler Venus in 1st House

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I came across this song, and the rock cover makes me feel the profound love there is between he and I.

"Something's on my mind (mind)
Always in my head space
But I know some day I'll make it out of here
Even if it takes all night or a hundred years
Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near
Wanna feel alive, outside I can't fight my fear
Isn't it lovely, all alone?
Heart made of glass, my mind of stone
Tear me to pieces, skin to bone
Hello, welcome home"
-Lovely (Cover by Lauren Babic and Seraphim)