posted December 11, 2023 10:55 AM            

Thanks for pointing out the double water SN influence. It's actually conjunct IC, less than 2* into 4th House. I love my angular Taurus NN, which I associate with becoming a natural doctor. My father had Taurus Moon with solid emotions. My latest degree is in Psychology.

"Your instinctive need for a partner is part of what you need to stop pursuing." Yes.

12th House Leo stellium square angular Nodes has been my most challenging placement. I associate it with traumatic accidental injuries and 3 near-death experiences. Without professional help I would not be here.

posted December 12, 2023 04:11 AM            

Near-death experiences make sense there too… and consider that the 12th is on the existence axis, opposing the 6th house of health. That makes a ton of sense. And 12th being naturally ruled by Scorpio, and you have Pluto there… Grounding is incredibly important for you. What do you do to ground yourself?

Where is your Venus? Can you post your chart? That might also give more clues to a partner, since Venus rules your NN.

I have never read or heard anything about rotating a chart to find a partner. It does make sense to seek Leo placements, but also Aqua or Taurus in order to stimulate via hard aspects. I would, of course, stay away from Scorpio… it’s possible you could find some healthy expressions of Scorpio though. Also consider people with heavy Cap/10th or Taurus/2nd. Even Virgo/6th placements could help via balancing. But I would consider also seeking such people at work, since that’s what your NN is all about. (As I said, my NN is also doubled down in earth, and I have found almost all of my significant romantic connections and partners via work or school.)

I know it’s annoying but truly I find the right people find us at the right time. Trying to force or control things in any way usually backfires.

I have noticed that folks with squares to their nodal axis grow the most when someone’s planets conjunct those squared points, but those relationships are NEVER easy to say the least. Often they don’t even get off the ground because the native is so resistant to their skipped steps. It’s really incredible for you to be so conscious and to seek growth. I commend you for that. Most people are not that self-aware or courageous.

I will share with you a snippet from some ebooks I am working on about the nodes. Some of it may be pretty basic for you since it’s intended for a general audience, but I hope this helps provoke more ideas for you:

quote:

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Having the North and South Nodes in the 4th or 10th houses and/or in Cancer or Capricorn places you on the Responsibility Axis. It is the IC (imum coeli - foundation, family) / MC (midheaven - career, social standing) axis. It’s a cardinal axis of independence as well as belonging: you may be nurturing, ambitious, and/or need to be needed.
…
Your life path involves balancing being comfortable and private with being out in the world establishing a successful career. “Inner peace versus outer action” is a major theme of your life. Your karmic classroom is in aligning your personal mission with who you are in the world. The cardinal axes deal with power and projection - so power plays and/or projecting one’s shadow onto others are signs of imbalance.
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If your North Node is in the tenth house or Capricorn, you’ve got the opposite problem: you might tend to over-nurture others and cultivate codependent relationships or get lost in a sea of compassion for others. You need to learn healthy emotional boundaries and take responsibility for your own wellbeing before sacrificing for others. Beware of your need to belong; instead, be independent and (maybe) become an authority. Whenever you have a water South Node and an earth North Node, your natural tendency is to get lost in a sea of emotion (your own or others’) at the expense of practicality and self-respect; you’ve got to learn to see emotional boundaries as part of emotional health, and allow everyone (including you) to take responsibility for their own feelings and survival. Let go of your need for belonging and fear of standing out and instead embrace a healthy desire to accomplish something in the world.
…
Responsibility is the central power of this axis: taking responsibility for your house and loved ones and/or taking responsibility for yourself and your worldly success. You must see the truth of duty’s duality: that you are responsible for your own emotional wellbeing as well as for your impact on others. This plays out both at home and at work. Like the other cardinal axis of 1/7, this is about the self and its projection out into the world, and the adjustments made in exercising authority in different spheres. Your life lessons come through your family and career, and the degree to which you do or do not sacrifice for your family or your ambitions.

The Responsibility Axis is about flowing within structure, being your own parent, nurture versus discipline, comfort versus challenge, intuition versus logic, intention versus result, attachment versus detachment, negotiating boundaries, security, taking care of both emotional and physical needs, and finding a place for the self in family and in society.

This axis is about balancing the private self and public image. Like all astrological axes, it’s about balance - it isn’t about complete devotion to personal comforts or to worldly ambition, but learning to meet in the middle. It means taking responsibility for one’s own needs as well as those of others, including all living beings. It means knowing when to retreat and when to advance. When you master this axis, you will have a healthy sense of duty, security without codependence, and self-worth without self-sacrifice. Ultimately, it is about balance. Perhaps you are already on your way.

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And here for the 2/8 axis:

quote:

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Having the North and South Nodes in the 2nd or 8th houses and/or in Taurus or Scorpio places you on the Possession Axis. Of course there is the level of material possession (income from one’s own efforts versus income from others), but perhaps more importantly, it deals with psychological possession - of oneself and of others. It’s a fixed axis of give and take, value and security, preservation and transformation, strength and power: you may be deeply rooted in your own power, seek power through others, or a bit of both. More than likely, you know what is truly valuable - or your destiny is to find out.

House 2 is ruled by Taurus and Venus (or some say Ceres), which rules beauty, love, sensual pleasure, and all that is valuable. Taurus symbolizes strength, tenacity, and willpower; but Scorpio represents a different kind of power, the cunning power of sharp perception and deep insight. Taurus will charge at its prey head-on, but a Scorpio will sneak and sting. Scorpio rules the 8th house and its governing body is Pluto, who transforms everything through the powers of death and rebirth. The 2nd house governs income we earn through our own skills and efforts; the 8th house deals with what we gain from others, whether through marriage, inheritance, institutions, or government. Taurus/2nd house seeks peace at the expense of change, while Scorpio/8th house seeks change at the expense of peace. Both are powerfully possessive, but Taurus focuses on self-possession and Scorpio is concerned with possessing others.

Your life path involves balancing self-mastery with a savvy approach to relationships and the outer world. “Mine versus yours” is a major theme of your life. Your karmic classroom is in the intersection between finances, relationships, and the relative independence that intersection may or may not bring. The fixed axes deal with value - so issues of self-worth, whether you love or loathe yourself too much, are signs of imbalance.

If your North Node is in the second house or Taurus, it means you need to develop self-worth, including cultivating your own skills and your own set of values by which you can lead a life worth respecting. You innately know how to evaluate other people: you see their strengths, their weaknesses, and how to help or hurt or use them to your own advantage. You have to accept that your security won’t always come through other people, though - you’ve got to derive a sense of security from within. Whenever you have a water South Node and an earth North Node, your natural tendency is to get lost in a sea of emotion (your own or others’) at the expense of practicality and self-respect; you’ve got to learn to see emotional boundaries as part of emotional health, and allow everyone (including you) to take responsibility for their own feelings and survival. Let go of your need to possess or control others and instead focus on mastering your skills and yourself.
…

Exchange is the central power of this axis: learning to see that giving and taking are never a one-way street, never a one-sided process, but instead one unitive process in which value of various kinds flows back and forth to and from you constantly. You are always giving; you are always taking. You are always involved in some kind of exchange. With that exchange comes transformation: because everything is constantly being exchanged, constantly in flux, it is constantly transforming (ironic, isn’t it, for a fixed axis).

The Possession Axis is about drawing power from within and from without, feeling stable and secure on your own or through others, pragmatism versus intuition, preservation versus transformation, what we possess materially as well as psychologically, valuing ourselves and valuing others, and maintaining a healthy sense of self-worth in a world where we’re constantly relating to other people.

This axis is about balancing a sense of security rooted in ourselves with the security we derive from our relations with others. Like all astrological axes, it’s about balance - it isn’t about complete independence or complete dependence, but learning to meet in the middle. It means cultivating one’s own skills as well as valuing those of others, including all living beings. It means knowing how to give value and how to accept it from outside. When you master this axis, you will have a healthy sense of self-worth, security without codependence, and a well-rounded set of values. Ultimately, it is about balance. Perhaps you are already on your way.

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posted December 12, 2023 08:01 AM            

For grounding I use earth mats at my desk and bed, conscious focus on my root and sole of feet chakras; gems and minerals on my body, under bed, and all around my home, daily prayers and meditation directed to Mother Earth.

Where is your Venus? Can you post your chart? That might also give more clues to a partner, since Venus rules your NN.

My natal Venus is at 10Gemini30 in 10th House.

"I have never read or heard anything about rotating a chart to find a partner."

I use relocation astrology to find prospective partner locations.

"It does make sense to seek Leo placements, but also Aqua or Taurus in order to stimulate via hard aspects."

I'm powerfully attracted to Leo--especially inner planet stelliums and Moon.

"it’s possible you could find some healthy expressions of Scorpio though. Also consider people with heavy Cap/10th or Taurus/2nd."

My first wife has Sun and Venus in 8th House, Capricorn Mars in 10th House, and Taurus rising!

"Even Virgo/6th placements could help via balancing."

My former fiance has a Virgo stellium, late Taurus Sun, and 6H Leo Moon and NN. My fine intuitive guidance has suggested 3 Earth placements as ideal for a partner. My Chinese element is Earth.

"I have noticed that folks with squares to their nodal axis grow the most when someone’s planets conjunct those squared points, but those relationships are NEVER easy to say the least."

First wife has Leo Pluto, and former fiance has Leo Moon conjunct my 12H stellium ruling planet Mars.