posted January 08, 2024 09:16 PM
Hey SoleilMoon, My houses fall very similarly to yours in the chart, however I've got Virgo rising at 21 degrees.
I share your placement with Pluto in the second Scorpio. In my experience it's about self worth, coming from scarcity or having a lack mentality, generally speaking.
You have Chiron (deep emotional wounds) conjunct Dejanira (Victimhood and Jealousy which seems to ruin relationships,) and this squares your natal Nessus conjunct Nemesis. Nemesis is divine retribution for failing to be grateful and being of service. There's a cycle of related themes in your chart! Astrology doesn't lie, lol
You have a lot of squares to your vertex (fated encounters of how others show up in your life, affecting you on the DC (aries, perhaps they're self centered or lack follow through in relationships, depending on their Emotional maturity.) Interesting that your anti vertex in conjnct your ASC, first house Libra (could be that you show up passive or passive aggressively to others, or that passive is where you allow them to treat you with less than ideal grace/respect and they continue acting shady.)
One might recommend befriending your shadow side (south node in 12th Scorpio,) to be more of a ball buster to those who throw shade or disrespect. It's clearly within you to be more cutting when needed, although the 12th (to me) indicates how we retreat/isolate when we should be sitting with our shame and turning it into applied lessons learned. My CBT therapist often mentions the cure to one's emotional distress is sitting with the pain.
Here is your chart with the asteroids configurations I use in my own readings. I used transits for tomorrow Jan 9th 2024.
[img]http://imgur.com/GIMYG9C[img]
A few major things I can note from the outset here bears mentioning right away:
Natal Lilith in the 11th (groups and communities, hopes and wishes for rapport) opposite Ceres (nurture/mother/seasons and cycles) in the 5th Aquarius: It would seem you rebel, rage against, or balk at the ostensible nuturing of casual affairs or leisurely pleasures of others/women.
This is a subconscious tendency to deny being boxed into any one niche/role while remaining a loner in those friend groups.
The following configuration is complicated and challenging until you reach way down into yourself and start to own each and every one of your own choices, actions and behaviors that contribute to whatever suffering you may feel (personal accountability in relationships and to yourself.)
*
Pluto conjuncts all of the following: (making your shadow work cut out for you, dig deep in yourself to address these themes.)
Narcissus conjunct Cupido (you meet a lot of self centered Egotistical people in your friend groups,) in your second HS scorpio.
There's a scorpio intensity to those emotions which is heavily dwelt upon.
This dramatically impacts your own self-worth and willingness to give yourself self-love. You also have there Ixion conjunct Amor: Betrayal in love, second chances in love that were/are never a good idea (leaving the past in the past after learning those lessons is key,) which can also be where you betray others' love or deservedness by your own fear of being worthy yourself in any intimate relationship.
Ask yourself how much you're able to forgive offenses and how you can let them go, now.
Basically Soliel, you'll need to use those ego shattering traumas to confront your buried emotions...to even get to them, bc they are blocked by what seems like a solid immovable object (Admetos in the 8th opposing the entire 2nd HS configuration, blockages to your emotions.)
Talk therapy could help, sure. You'll have to use your own pain to overcome any self-limiting beliefs: (Paine conjunct Apollo 1st house Libra, being too accomodating to others perpetuates this pain ever expansively.) Practicing self-observation yeilds self-awareness.
There's a need to confront deeply buried (still sore) aspects of the identity.
Lastly, (for tonight lol):
You have Nessus conjunct Nemesis in the 12th house Virgo.
You might nit pick yourself to almost nothing, self criticism is your own personal abuse and it would indicate that this is also the unaddressed source of your Self conflict. That seems challenging to your desire to be of service or willingness to recieve help from others (Lust and Sun in Pisces, not conjunct, just seperate with a piscean vibe: maybe you used substances for escapism in the past, or have some co-dependent issues in the past?)
My Mars conjunct Venus in Pisces wants to tell you to be careful or your self talk and self narrative.
Self-compassion is the cure to ANY mistakes or failures you've made or had to endure.
Unconditional love (amor) is also a cure for failed relationships or lack of nuturing from other people.
We don't stop loving because we are no longer with a person, it gets transmuted into Universal Love (which still includes those folks that hurt us)
Learning to love yourself to heal from not feeling good enough. It's interesting that Amor is also in that tough 2nd HS configuration. The answer/cure to your self worth is in the experiences you have which break you down so that you can rise like the phoenix. It's gonna hurt (a lot, to confront the emotions and hug/accept them,) but you're strong willed and will emerge from all that emotion with an immense powerful sense of self that downright OWNS every emotion you've ever felt. Empowering, really.
Hope this helps <3
Lindaland
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posted January 01, 2024 01:45 AM
. Its gotten violent at times because there have been times ive snapped and gotten into fist fights. Their pluto lands in my 2nd parallel my Ascendant. I also noticed that any boomer that lands in my 12th with their pluto in leo. I get insulted and humiliated too. All my mother's partners made fun of my appearance and called me ugly.
posted January 01, 2024 07:02 PM