posted March 11, 2025 06:55 AM            

Does anyone else experience this? Beef b/w older and newer generations?

posted March 12, 2025 07:37 AM            

Our parents' generation was not big on mental health or therapy at all. Therapy was viewed, and to a certain extent still is, as something shameful or negative. Magnified x10 if you grew up in a religious family/ bible belt.

Don't question anything and obey everything. The newer generations are saying enough is enough.

I don't blame Pluto completely.

I have Saturn square Sun natally.

My father and I have a tight Sun-Saturn square in composite. 25 SECONDS APPLYING from exact.

My mother and I share a Moon-Venus-Saturn opposition in synastry, with her being Saturn. Ironically, I have Moon trine Saturn in natal at 1 degree. My moon is also square Uranus-Neptune at 2 and 3 degrees, respectively, which probably explains her BPD.

I strongly believe absent parents are better parents than a lot of "present" ones. So many ppl had kids for the wrong reasons. So many ppl have children they really did not want.

At least the absent parent removed themselves. My father uses his "family" as his "beard" because he's a loser. He then mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abuses those same ppl behind closed doors. I have been stuck in a viscous cycle trying to escape. Add in COLA and depression and im going nowhere fast. My life revolves around my father and his torture tactics. It's one thing not to have a support system.. it's something totally different having someone constantly in your way, purposely trying to pick at you and hold you back.

Pluto rears its ugly head too. My father's Pluto semi-squares my Venus applying under 1 degree. His Pluto also inconjuncts my mother's Gemini stellium. Pluto and Saturn are the main culprits. Pluto is based on power struggles, manipulation, and control. Pluto does not love. Pluto wants domination. At some point, we have to disappoint our parents and depending on an individual's emotional makeup, this might hurt way worse than it "should" compared to the "norm".

On this long hard journey of discovery, I've met so many ppl with similar stories who forgave their parents and still worship the ground they walk on. Like your parents obviously abused you and didn't love you. Why are you so forgiving? Or better yet, you can forgive, but why are you honouring them? Rip the bandaid off. It hurts like hell, but there is strength and control of your own life on the other side.

posted April 19, 2025 11:55 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by k_mma:
My parents have Pluto in Virgo and my mother’s squares my Mars in Gemini, while my father’s squares my Mercury in Gemini too and I’m starting to realise I struggle with their generation. They want to control so much of me and I feel like I can’t grow to be what I want to be when around them. Which is a big part of my identity as I’m an Air dominant chart. I don’t really wanna explore more of our synastry, just hear about other ppl’s experiences with this kind of aspect.

Does anyone else experience this? Beef b/w older and newer generations?

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How old are you? Are you still living with your parents?

My mother's Pluto is in Virgo and my mars is in Sagittarius, it's making a square synastry. My father is Leo Pluto gen. I'm a Scorp Pluto gen.

I too have a relationship struggle with my mother regarding to how much of expectation she puts in the family/children. I almost feel like she is obsessed with 'perfection'.

It's funny that I and my mother has the same sun, moon, mercury, and venus (our birthday also only 4 days apart and we're an air sun), but our relationship is weird, like I can't say it is bad but also I can't say it is good. She is way too emotional and sensitive for my taste (she has mars in cancer) and I am always out there far from her to reach out and hard to wrap around her finger (my mars in sagittarius).

I think the only child who she has a hard time to control is ME. lol. So I think I am the only child who experience some physical abuse at the time from her, especially when I didn't obey her or I think she was way too controlling (the kids weren't allowed to complaining and I was the only one who wanted to voice my feelings out). Because of that I grew up being super quiet and had a struggle to open up or show emotions.

The family dynamic under my mother's influence is pretty much Virgo like in a bad and a good way. It's focus on services, purification (religion, norms, values, orders), and perfectionism (self-criticism becomes high that makes some of the kids struggle with stresses/depressions because high expectations and criticisms).

The happiest time I had when I finally left the house for college. This is not about hating the person, but it is about how high the expectation, the control, and how I ,as a kid, couldn't be my self as my mother lives by how the children should behave according the norms, religion, and the value she got from her parents/the outside world expectation. In the other way it is good to teach children to behave according the norms, religion, and the good values, but sometimes it got too much to a point where high expectation and criticism like no matter how good we were as a child it felt like still not good enough. One mistake felt like we just got out from a jail for doing a criminal thing.

The other siblings who have Earth element in their natal chart are having smooth relationship with her than me who haven't. Although my sun is in 2nd house.

When I lived apart from my parents I started to explore myself and did a lot of learning and reading, especially about ME. lol. I mean like I wanted to know if it was normal to feel this way or that way (because my mother thought it was wrong or there was something wrong with me with the way I think, so she need to show me the proper way according to what she thought I should be) and I found astrology where I felt justified and felt normal and should be happy with myself.

I also tried to heal myself about the other thing where it is too long to tell here so I learn a lil bit about psychology. One thing I realize, If I had childhood trauma or stressful life events from parents/family history/environment, there's also a probability that my parents had it in the past that could shape the way they are as parents today in a good or in a bad way. The world also rapidly keeps changing and the nowadays technology, modernization and awareness, open knowledges everywhere sure creating a gap to the older/oldest.

Along the way, I practice myself how to properly tell my parents things I do not like and the reason behind it. This is not easy though (and it is normal) because the younger me may not see what they see and vice versa because of the chosen words, so I make a lot of adjustment to how properly talk and choose words carefully with my parents so they can get what I mean and can understand me better.

Along the way, I try to understand the way they are as parents (realizing that they are also part of the product from their own parents - my grandparents) and tried to understand the reason behind why they try to control my life or who I am like maybe they worry a lot, anxious if I could make it in life with certain attitude, or the unexplained fear based on their own past trauma.

This maybe different if the parents diagnosed with NPD or something like that. But my parents are overall a kind people at heart and always try to keep a peace with everyone, wise people actually, just the pressure of Virgo expectations sometimes can feel too much for me and yes, I think her cancer mars can annoy me (she wants me to close to her) and my sagittarius mars can annoy her (I want to fly away from her, not because hating her, but because I'm more fascinated exploring the world than cling to people). My husband has mars in cancer and I think God wants me to learn this mars very close so I can understand my mother on why she is so emotional and sensitive and almost always takes things personally despite we have the same sun, moon, mercury, and venus. My honesty and enjoying the outside world more than talking to the family about everything anything especially the emotional one can easily hurt her because of it.