posted November 02, 2022 04:32 AM
I am really at a crossroads right now in my marriage. My husband kind of makes me sick to my stomach. I think our marriage might be too toxic. I don't think I can be with someone who for certain issues only wants to cooperate when I am completely fed up, burned out, don't care anymore. I feel like I am doing all the work, and coming up with all the ideas to fix things. We do have certain compatibilities. Certain things we make a great team.
I've been contemplating having an affair...that's how beyond my breaking point I am. I've been contemplating opening our relationship. I've been contemplating divorce.
I've cried that I've got to this point. I've kinda grieved that if I go through this, I might not have my own biological children. My husband and I were going to try to have kids next year. My husband also has motivation issues having 3 planets in the 12th house. He is in therapy for his childhood sexual abuse, and for our relationship.
Anywho, I am more than happy to post my chart up here. I thought I would first ask, are there any asteroids that I should add?
I discovered that I have Juno square Mars in my chart. This can lead to not feeling appreciated or satisfied in commitment. But then I also have Juno sextile Saturn. I see it playing out as I am a great partner who works hard but gets under appreciated.
Also I have contemplated if I do actually divorce my husband... I have considered trying to be in an open relationship, swinger, poly, etc. Because with my chart it looks like I will never find "my everything."