Posts: 6
From: New House
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 01, 2003 09:52 AM         

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Well..what do I do now?
I've adopted a small Pisces boy; he's been in my home not two months and he's shutting down when given directions. He's telling me he doesn't have to do what I say.
Just this morning, he destroyed the handle to his closet, after telling me he doesn't want to live here and he's going to run away. He's got a history of being abused; the doctor even found his back scarred from daily beatings. How do I get him to follow directions? I'm having trouble staying calm. He can also turn tears on and off at the mention of routine work and keep the fake hysteria going on for up to an hour. Help!
-HumbleSaggie

BTW, I'm a Scorpio sun with Aries moon, Mercury, Venus, and Mars in Sag...He's a Pisces sun with Virgo moon, Mercury in Pisces, Venus in Aquarius, Mars in Leo...

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Posts: 19319
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted September 07, 2003 01:53 PM         

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Any updates?

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 1513
From: south of utopia
Registered: Mar 2003

posted September 08, 2003 11:34 PM         

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There was a brief update in the cross-post in the Astrology forum, but nothing in the past days.

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Posts: 146
From: big 'ol Tejas
Registered: Sep 2003

posted January 04, 2004 12:08 AM         

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well i dunno if you shall even check this, since tis a couple months later....i worked for almost 2 years with severely abused/neglected kiddos in a residential treatment center. it is very normal for any child to test boundaries, esp. with an adult they don't know very well or trust yet, and abused kiddos of course take longer to trust. i would say show him firm boundaries with utter love and respect and hopefully he will eventually come around. be very communicative with him as well. good luck!

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Posts: 25
From: newhampshire
Registered: Dec 2003

posted January 12, 2004 06:09 AM         

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I also have an 8 year old pisces child, and she has some of the same problems- faking hysteria, flying off the handle after a somple request etc. When is his birthdate? My daughter is march 2, 1995- sounds like they have a lot in common. I bet he's wonderfully imaginative, and sensitive also, right?

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Posts: 19319
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted January 13, 2004 01:54 PM         

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 17
From: IA, USA
Registered: Jun 2003

posted May 26, 2004 09:46 PM         

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Are you SURE it's faked hysteria? He and I have the same sun, moon and venus, and I remember all too well that being given any chores or directions as a child not only brought on feelings of hysteria (ie: I can't do this!) no matter how easy the job, but also anger at feeling out of control-that someone else thought they could control what I do. Dunno, just thought I'd add that in.

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Posts: 3259
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted May 27, 2004 12:28 AM         

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Hi HumbleSaggie~

I have a 6 year old Pisces girl. She can cry for hours too. Just drags some of the smallest things out like her heart is breaking into 5,000,000 pieces. She either makes a huge fuss about doing her little chores, or just the opposite. She will do them with out being told and say things like, "Look mommy, I put away the silverware and you didn't even have to tell me." Then we praise her to no end .

I'm sure your young one just needs to see some structure. It's a blessing he is out of whatever environment he was in before. You should probably be prepared for some behavioral problems because of his past. Knowing they're coming and bracing yourself as they come up might make it easier to pull through. You are a wonderful, sweet soul for saving this boy. You can give him the tools to become a Survivor and never accept being a Victim.

Bright blessings to you and your special family.

From one abuse Survivor to another, I will be praying for your son.

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Posts: 3259
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted May 27, 2004 12:43 AM         

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I also think, aside from structure, he needs patience and consistency. Consistent positive reminders work well. For example: Instead of "Don't forget to brush your teeth before school.", you should say "Remember to brush your teeth before school.". Children respond very strongly to positive reinforcement. I also find writing sentences works well for my girls (6&7). I always take a little time and think of a positive sentence for them to write. Like, just last week my 6 year old was caught in a lie. She had to write 20 times: I should always tell the truth, even when I think I might get in trouble.

Even though his feelings are irrational at times, you cannot tell him not to feel that way. If I tell you not to think about a pink elephant... what are you thinking about? So, you must alter the thinking process from negative to positive, and I promise you will see results.

Show him a daily routine, DO NOT punish this child physically. Try to be patient while he struggles with his past. One day he will be a grown man, eternally greatful to you for your love and support.

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Posts: 3259
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted May 27, 2004 12:50 AM         

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Just looked at the date of the first post... Is HumbleSaggie still hanging around?

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Posts: 19319
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted May 28, 2004 12:11 PM         

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Any updates?

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 243
From: florida, usa
Registered: Nov 2001

posted October 29, 2004 09:02 PM         

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i wouldnt force him to do any chores at home but would put him in group situations at as young an age as possible where he would feel bad or irresponsible if he didnt 'pitch in'. at home he wants to feel cared for only, i think

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Posts: 19319
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted October 30, 2004 01:34 PM         

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I concur.

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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