posted September 13, 2004 12:59 PM         

i was desert-rain and later changed my name to talaith. babe had his second birthday last month and keeps me running, in addition to nursing almost as much as a new born!

posted October 22, 2004 09:47 PM         

Congrats on your attachment parenting and extended nursing. My son is four now and I practiced attachment parenting and he nursed until he was two and a half. It's hard work at times, but definitely worth it-- we have an amazing bond.

What do you do to meet the needs of your high needs child? My son is like that, too, and sometimes I find it hard to keep up with him. I thought it would get easier as he got older, but it's still just as challenging, just in different ways.

I'd love to hear from you!

posted October 25, 2004 10:30 AM         

definitely it becomes more and more challenging as he grows older! his father despises every single thing about my parenting so that's made it intensely challenging! he's also abusive, so that's extra work, protecting my son from him. i thought a two-parent effort and commitment to attachment parenting would be a phenomenal thing, but, quite sadly, it didn't work out that way at all. doing it alone, and in the face of nasty opposition, is a big big job, and sometimes i don't feel that i'm very adept at getting it right. it seems that my son's father was abused as a child, and rather than this improving his consciousness as a parent, he believes that abuse is a necessary component of parenting. it hurts my heart so much to witness this.

extended nursing requires a commitment i didn't expect, but you're right; i believe it's worth every effort. my babe has never had to see a doctor for any illness and is so happy and well adjusted!

please do tell more about your attachment parenting with a 4 year old.

love, Saffron

posted October 25, 2004 03:49 PM         

Your situation sounds very similar to mine. No support, son's father was abusive (not to our son, but to me.) That makes it very difficult to practice attachment parenting. I really couldn't/can't find anyone to support this at all! I don't have a lot of time this second, but I saw you posted and I wanted to get back to you. We'll talk more about this!

Carissa

posted October 26, 2004 08:30 AM         

yes, i'd love to talk more about this. when a father abuses the mother of his children he is abusing them as well.

my son is the brightest light i've ever known and he radiates so strongly....i am blessed to have him and i know we can navigate this life together, and do it well, with faith and love.

posted October 28, 2004 01:09 PM         

The worst about it is that we have an extended family here. We live with my fiances mom, his brother, and his brothers girlfriend. His brother especially is a raging neat freak and gets really upset when things arent clean to his standards. So I clean up as much as I can in the 5 minutes time frame I have where I can keep the kids in line so I can clean and usually leave the bigger jons such as vaccumming and dishes until my fiance gets home from work. Its never good enough though...oh well.

posted October 28, 2004 08:11 PM         

DON'T!

Actually, the reality is that I usually clean in spurts... I feel like if I could ever get on top of everything once and for all, I would be alright. But I always feel like I'm so far behind, then there's too much to do, then I don't do much of anything at all.

I've really been trying to make an effort lately to overcome that, though... just doing a little bit every day. The house is still never entirely clean, but I can live with it without going into a depression.

My boyfriend, however, is a Virgo... fortunately his asc is Sag, just like my sun, so maybe that helps him tolerate my untidiness a little bit!

Carissa

P.S. Saffron, I still want to talk to you about the high needs child stuff... just haven't found time to put down anything coherent! My biggest problem is discipline. The child is immune to time-outs, to taking things away, etc. He can throw fits for hours that just leave me completely ragged and the hardest part is that sometimes (after looooooooong struggles with him) I find myself giving in to him just to keep my sanity. Also, I've always believed that a child doesn't need spankings to learn discipline (not that I judge those who do, in any way... I've tried to stay away with it because my parents were borderline physically abusive with me and it's best that I just stay off that path.) but I have found, much to my disappointment, that sometimes this is the only thing that works for me. But I feel like it's only a temporary solution, you know? Doesn't really teach him anything except to do what I tell him out of fear of being "hurt."

posted November 10, 2004 11:21 PM         

i can't seem to post here currently because some of these subjects are so very close to my heart, and my heart seems too heavy with them lately.

posted November 12, 2004 03:37 PM         

When the time comes for you to share, we will be here waiting.

posted March 09, 2005 12:46 PM         

Happy, Happy Birthday! to your young man. I can relate to the issues of the house becoming a giant toy box! I have learned to just relax about it and, in doing so, my kiddos take the responsibility for their things, much easier... I figure, it's their space too and, they respect the same in regard to us. We have occasional disagreements but, for the most part, it is good! My babies are a bit older, however. Just enjoy them, try not to sweat the stuff that, really, does'nt matter at the end of the day.....

posted November 10, 2006 03:50 AM         

what's attachment parenting? The energy behind the way its always written- like its a diagonsis- kind of freaks me out. I am sure its wonderful- hey, those are two very good words- so now i am curious.

posted November 14, 2006 10:16 AM         

That babe is four now?

------------------
~
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world is immortal"~

posted November 14, 2006 06:38 PM         

i actually prefer the idea of natural parenting, i think it holds a slightly different 'energy' as you state....

attachment parenting is related though....

the following is from the faq of attachment parenting international ~

Attachment Parenting is a philosophy based in the practice of nurturing parenting methods that create strong emotional bonds, also known as secure attachment, between the infant and parent(s) This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful and enduring relationships.
In conjunction with the work of Dr. William and Martha Sears, and informed by current research, API promotes The Eight Ideals of Attachment Parenting. Recognizing that every family is unique, these ideals are guidelines to help parents understand their baby's needs to develop a secure attachment.

1. Preparation for Childbirth
2. Emotional Responsiveness
3. Breastfeed your Baby
4. Baby Wearing
5. Nighttime Parenting and Safe Sleeping Guidelines

6. Avoid frequent and prolonged separations from your baby
7. Positive Discipline
8. Maintain balance in your family life

the above principles are active links with detailed info from the following site ~

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/ideals.shtml

this also is a good thread with lots of related info ~

http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/001398.html

(my new screen name is naiad....i was previously salome...and before that, desert-rain, et al... )

posted November 14, 2006 07:19 PM         

babe had his fourth birthday in august.