|
Author
|
Topic: Being boss over a scorpio
|
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 08, 2004 07:17 PM
 
Hello,I have recently been promoted to being in charge of my team at work. I am a virgo sun/pisces moon/cancer asc and being in charge does not come naturally to me. I find it a chore to be honest! Anyway, there is a junior member of our team who is a scorpio/libra cusp and I find her quite difficult to work with sometimes. We are friends for the most part but shes always trying to prove me wrong and even if Im right, I can see her trying to find out if I made a mistake in my decision. I'm getting quite annoyed with it! She also makes mistakes quite a lot and gets defensive when I call her up on it, and in retaliation tries to catch me out constantly, coz I think it makes her feel less stupid about her mistakes. Any advice on what I can do? Im not the most assertive of people and I dont want this to degenerate into a fight! But I do want to put her in her place once and for all. I dont know what her moon sign is but I think her scorp sun sign dominates over her libra. Thanks, I'd appreciate any advice!!
moonshine IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted October 09, 2004 11:05 AM
Maybe someone will offer good advice. All I can say is to tread lightly but firmly.------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 09, 2004 02:56 PM
Thanks! Thats what Im trying to do.. kinda find it hard though IP: Logged |
silverbells
Knowflake Posts: 1376
From: maryland
Registered: Apr 2003
|
posted October 09, 2004 07:12 PM
I think that you should have a meeting with her and ask her if she is happy with her job situation. Perhaps she will bring up whatever is bothering her, either way tell her that you see that there are unmistakable issues (however you phrase that) and then tell her that if everyone in the office means to work in a professional setting then they must conduct themselves professionally, which means when there are problems with the work that their superiors are doing the problem should be brought to the attention of the superior in private (unless it is a trouble - shooting meeting) and if it is a problem with a co - worker, bring that up with either them or a superior. Because anything else is damaging and unprofessional. SHe should know what you mean. Regardless of what anyone's sign is, one should at least try to keep their negative personal traits to themselves when at work, that is what professionals do...children, who have little control, do otherwise. Personal Advice: Don't look look at her as her sign or even an opponant who you have to stand up to and boss around; look at her as a link...she is either weak or strong. You either want to strengthen her or do away with her. If you think that being in charge doesn't come naturally, then this is a good opportunity for you to be a responsible, fair team leader and truly add to your list of professional and personal accomplishments. Let us know how things go. I hope that it works out well. Good Luck moonshine. ------------------
Get some love in your groove, just get hip to forgive... - Michael Franks IP: Logged |
merciful1
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: New Mexico, USA
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 10, 2004 07:44 AM
I think Scorpio has a knee-jerk reaction when it comes to power. (I am one) Of course, each individual is different...so, I guess you have to know the person as an individual...and what makes him/her tick. I think that if you can relate to this person..with the awareness...that he/she does not want anyone overriding his/her personal power...remove the "boss" consciousness...and focus on relating about the "issue". Maybe you can find some "common ground" with this person...to establish a "rapport"...and be on friendlier terms. Don't allow yourself to feel threatened...and don't be a threat...to that personal power. It is Scorpio's evolutionary adjustment to be learning about POWER--bear with us.  ------------------
merciful1 IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 10, 2004 08:53 AM
Thank youfor your good advice people. I dont only see her as a "scorpio" but it dawned on me later as she does behave in quite typically scorp ways, which is why I was asking Anyway, I am going to try and do some of the things you suggest. I do see her as a friend and not an "opponent" (we go out drinking together a lot) but I guess its also hard for her to see me as a friend and have to take direction from me, as well. Thank you people, you are lovely! 
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted October 10, 2004 11:22 AM
WWTD--What Would Trump Do?------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 10, 2004 04:47 PM
eh? Donald?!  IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted October 10, 2004 11:32 PM
Yep, the Donald. "You're fired!"------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 139
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
|
posted October 11, 2004 09:28 AM
I am virgo too, I once had a scorp. working under me and I would say the same, we were friends but she frustrated me endlessly. Something you said caught my attention, you would like to put her in her place once and for all. That is not likely. This will be an ongoing issue for you both. I think the other poster was correct, you have to be the boss always and never let her think you are not. Since Virgo and Scorp are Karmic friends I don't think a virgo is intimidated by a scorps, we like them we just don't always agree with their approach. I have a scorp stepdauther and the knee-jerk response in a power attempt is sure correct. I appreciate that insight. Anyway the best way to maintain your position of authority is to know your material. That is a Virgo's best position of power and authority. Hope this helps some, Am I babeling????IP: Logged |
merciful1
Knowflake Posts: 119
From: New Mexico, USA
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 11, 2004 10:28 AM
Yeah...that is difficult to handle when a friend gets promoted over you...guess you would need to work out the issues that are related to your friendship off-hours, and the issues that are job-related--right then and there. When I worked as a para-professional, we had a whole workshope on "empathy", which is quite different than sympathy...or even compassion...empathy is just the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes...but with emotional detachment.IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted October 12, 2004 10:50 AM
Keep us updated. ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
silverbells
Knowflake Posts: 1376
From: maryland
Registered: Apr 2003
|
posted October 12, 2004 12:53 PM
D.T. would pout his lips and probably tell you that you are not carrying your weight and then *pout* YOUR FIRED!------------------
Get some love in your groove, just get hip to forgive... - Michael Franks IP: Logged |
wildflwrs
Knowflake Posts: 52
From: Albuquerque
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 13, 2004 07:15 AM
Perhaps you could read up on management...I'll bet there's tons of info on "office politics"...guess your style of management has to be totally YOU though.
Perhaps when and if you are out together on friendly terms you could ask her to adopt a position of cooperation on the job so that you can preserve your friendship.wildflwrs  formerly merciful1
(maybe you've had way too much advice by now, sorry if I've overloaded you) IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted October 16, 2004 01:58 PM
 ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
purple_scorp
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 23, 2004 07:35 AM
Hello moonshine,Okay, I have four planets in Scorp and an Asc Libra - I've probably got this employee covered, astrologically. Add to that that I have the sun in the first house & my birthday number is also 1. (I have four 1's in my birthdate.) So, yes, I am a Scorp leader, though I'm currently working as a member in a team. Based on how I operate myself as an employee, I can say that you will win her over by giving her responsibility and accountability for a specific project. I don't know if there is something that you can delegate to her but I'm willing to guarantee that she will not only accomplish the task quickly, efficiently, and cost effectively, she will be damn proud of it too. You will win her respect because you have entrusted her with this responsibility; and this will pave the way for a smoother working relationship between the two of you. Scorps can work as team members, we don't always need to lead, although in the back of our minds, we know that we can lead (and sometimes do a better job than our leader). But one thing's for sure - we demand respect. Coming the heavy with her and "showing" her who the boss is will lose you brownie points. I personally don't think this is a good way to go. Good luck with it and cheers. purple_scorp IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 23, 2004 06:49 PM
Thank you so much for all your responses people.  You guys talk so much sense. I think Thirteen is right, this is going to be an ongoing issue. I think merciful1, I was allowing myself to feel threatened as I am not a natural leader and I guess I was having a knee jerk response to her knee-jerk response to power, Lol. Anway, I have decided against having a "talk" with her as that is not my style - I dont want to be heavy-handed authoritarily as I do not want to be in authority in the first place anyway! Putting her in her place was something I said at the time becuase I was feeling frustrated. I get quite annoyed at myself for my lack of assertiveness in general, and especially in situations such as these. But Im doing my best and for the most part we get along great. But extra scrutiny from someone (anyone) makes me nervous and I feel like I can't make mistakes - ever. And I resent that! Purple_scorp: I realised a while ago that giving her responsibility would be a winner and its worked (a bit). I think she enjoys having a project of her own to do and its boosted her self-esteem a bit. She still gives off attitude though, but Im hoping she'll chill out a bit in future!
Thanks! IP: Logged |
purple_scorp
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Australia
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted October 23, 2004 09:05 PM
Moonshine, you just reminded me of an ex-work colleague that was a Scorp. She was very regimented and thought that everybody should be, and work exactly, like her. She got the nickname, Policeman Ros.She didn't (and still doesn't) have an appreciation that everybody is different and that her work style wasn't appropriate for everybody else. The only thing you can do to people like that is slap them, lol!!! purple_scorp IP: Logged |
miss_apples
Knowflake Posts: 183
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted October 28, 2004 01:14 PM
maybe when you call her to point out something she isnt doing right...first mention to her something she is doing right, like... "oh what youre doing here is wonderful, but how about if we try this."Or try to word things so that she feels like she is in control. Almost like asking her for advice or what she thinks. like.. "How would you feel about doing this" or "What do you think about trying this" IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted November 03, 2004 12:12 PM
Has this situation improved?------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 98
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
|
posted November 11, 2004 05:46 PM
Not much! She's still the same, but less insecure I think, so a bit nicer to be around now. I still feel that she watches me and judges every decision I make, which I still resent. But I ignore it rather than draw attention to it, as i think thats the best way to go. She doesnt do it out loud, but for a Scorp, she thinks very loudly. IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 58
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted November 23, 2004 01:30 PM
Put your ego aside if you can and praise, praise, praise her when she does good. If she makes errors, just say "no problem", smile a lot and look into her eyes when you speak to her. We are very soft at heart and respond greatly to kindness...........interesting my scorpio son and virgo father clash somewhat and I always say to dad, "firm but kind, do it with love and compassion" very challenging, but worth the effort. Sue, 5 planets in Scorpio and Aries and moon and mars in taurus (how did i ever work for anyone)?!!! Good luck xxxxxIP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 58
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
|
posted November 23, 2004 01:32 PM
sorry that shd have read aries rising (yeah scary isnt it)?IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 19769
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
|
posted November 27, 2004 08:22 AM
Any updates?------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
