posted June 06, 2005 02:32 PM         

I know I'm going to have a crappy time working once september rolls around...

Here are a few of my awful transits...

Saturn opposition Sun: A twenty-nine-year low

Beginning of October 2005 until beginning of July 2006: This may be a very discouraging time. Your vital energies are at a twenty-nine-year low, and you may feel quite incapable of dealing with the adversities that often accompany this influence.

These adversities may come from a number of sources. First of all, other people, particularly employers and other persons in authority, may oppose your plans in several areas. This is not usually a good time for successfully attaining your goals.

You may feel physically tired, as if the burdens of your life are too much for you. Quite commonly during this time people feel old, even if they are in fact young, and there is a profound sense of world-weariness. Avoid excessive strains on your health, because that can lead to a major health breakdown, particularly if you are older. Be careful of your health and conserve your energies.

Your ambitions may also be thwarted by circumstances or by other people. Even though you and your associates have the best intentions for your future, something seems to block you.

It is possible that you may be caught in some kind of relationship, for example, a bad marriage or love affair, that limits your self-expression. Quite frequently this influence brings such relationships to an end.

This period is best dealt with by understanding that it is part of a natural cycle in your life. Nothing is gained by fighting it; instead you must learn to flow with it. This influence represents a period of endings which will be followed by new beginnings. The problem is to avoid being discouraged and frustrated by the endings. Soon you will have the opportunity to begin new projects that will build up to new peaks of achievement in about fourteen years.

Saturn opposition Mercury: Rigidity spells defeat

Beginning of August 2005 until end of April 2006: At this time your ideas and plans may be defeated, or they may have their greatest concrete realization. In either case, you will run into considerable resistance from others to what you say. This may result in severing relationships with those who disagree with you because there is no longer any communication between you. Or it may result simply in the breakdown of communication that was once quite good.

Other people's resistance to your thinking is not intended solely to defeat you, although you may think so. You may be tempted to give up if you are not secure in your thinking and plans. But the resistance of others also forces you to give your plans clearer form and to take definite steps to implement them. This takes hard work and much heavy thinking, but the results can be quite good.

If your ideas cannot withstand the challenge or you do not have enough confidence to defend them, this is likely to be a time of self-doubt and questioning. You will seek to find out what is wrong with your ideas, and if you can be sufficiently detached, you may indeed find out what is wrong. But if you just wallow in guilt, doubt and "being wrong," you will accomplish little except to become depressed.

Although this is not an especially easy time, you shouldn't take a negative or pessimistic view of matters. There are concrete challenges to be met, and you should use your energy to recognize and meet them. Negative thinking is a form of self-indulgence that you cannot afford at this time.

One factor of this influence may be causing you problems. If you have already allowed your thinking to become too rigid and fixed, you will find it difficult to make occasional necessary compromises when you are challenged. Even with the best ideas, a certain amount of mental flexibility is necessary. Rigidity is almost certain to spell defeat, because the forces that oppose you will become equally unbending and rigid.

Saturn opposition Mars: The middle way

Beginning of September 2005 until mid June 2006: This can be an extremely difficult period, because you feel that everything you try to do is blocked by circumstances or opposed by others. You may feel angry, but you have no obvious outlet for your anger, so you are left boiling over inside and seething with frustration. And there is no doubt that your actions are very closely circumscribed at this time. People who are important in directing your life - parents, employers, officials - may be a serious source of trouble at this time.

You may feel tempted to lash out against the forces that seem to be conspiring against you, but this is probably not a good idea. They will probably prove too strong for you. Instead of rebelling and fighting, it would be better to wait and in the meantime find some outlet for your pent-up energy. Hard work, physical activity, and concentrated effort will help dispel the energy build-up that may accompany this influence. However, take reasonable precautions in whatever you do along these lines. Accidents can occur now, because the pent-up energy is hard to control, and if it comes out in a sudden uncontrolled burst it can cause an accident. Be especially careful with sharp objects and anything made of metal.

It is not a good idea simply to hold in your feelings, even though it seems futile to let them out. The stored-up energy within you provokes responses from others and from your environment in very subtle ways, which can lead to even greater problems. You can conceivably become the victim of your own violent feelings, and this can happen in very subtle, unconscious ways. So you have to find the middle road between lashing out violently and holding all your anger in.

I think I'm going to die!!!!

posted June 08, 2005 12:05 AM         

Did an online tarot reading cuz I was getting restless. This is what I got...who knows how valid it is...courtesy of lotustarot...

how you feel about yourself now (The World)

You are about to reach, or are already enjoying, a period of total fulfilment, wholeness and satisfaction - the arrival of your hearts desires. You feel satisfied with what you have achieved and are enjoying the rewards of past efforts. A time of happy outcomes, material wealth and greater spiritual awareness.

what you most want at this moment (The Moon)

The cards suggest DayDreamer, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.

your fears (The Hierophant)

Are you really your best counsel? Probably not at this moment in time. You are worried that you will sell yourself short and agree to something that you don’t feel morally comfortable with. For example you may really desire marriage but the offer has been ‘let’s live together’. You may be looking at a job or business opportunity but you question how ethical it is. Seek out an advisor you can trust such as a teacher, priest, parent or anyone you have respect for. They will be happy to help.

what is going for you (The Chariot)

Drive, drive, drive, that’s what’s going for you. You certainly aren’t a quitter that’s for sure. The appearance of The Chariot tells of conflicts ending in victory, so don’t give up, battle on and you will succeed. This is a time of movement and change. Expect a journey relating to work, and if you’ve had you’re eye on that car, it will soon be yours.

what is going against you (Judgement)

If you allow fear to stop you from taking a chance or a new possibility then you will lose out. Do not ignore the new opportunities being presented to you - a decision, new job or relationship could change your life for the better. Do not refuse change when change at this time is vital - feel the fear and do it anyway. Outcomes may well be delayed, however this is a time for positive action and not passiveness.

outcome (The Magician)

posted June 09, 2005 03:43 PM         

But now I'm thinking what's wrong with me...why didn't they call me back. There were alot of qualified people for that position. I'm just a lil fresh newbie to the field. They seemed and said they were impressed with my answers...that was nice...but my energy I could tell was a little over the top...I'm too over confident, and hyper active!! Maybe I should go on ritalin

posted June 10, 2005 01:35 AM         

Thanks for the encouragement, it means alot to me

I got a call from the school today, telling me that unfortunately I didn't get the position, right as I was heading out to work. I'm optimistic...I hope to find a position that works for me

Too many things to do, soo many thoughts, I find it difficult to focus on my intuition. That's it, I'm setting a deadline for myself...all my work has to be completed by Sunday night! This weekend no fun, just work, so I can relax the rest of the week.

How are things going for you and your brother?

posted July 29, 2005 05:05 AM         

It was best opportunity and now I really feel foolish but Sag optimism is always there for me.