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Author
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Topic: I'm afraid to achieve anything
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SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 07, 2005 09:36 PM
 
I've been sitting on my bottom for quite some time now.
Studying, reading, writing, basically being a recreational queen.
I've become too comfortable being at home and my partner has noticed this and he asked very kindly if I could try and make some money soon.
I was going to join a friend in a web based business for mail order of wiccan supplies and things but that hasn't got off the ground yet and I don't think she's interested in it anymore, and I've been waiting around for a while now. So I decided that's probably not going to work.
I really wanted to get into an industry that I love, something in the New Age field.
But something keeps telling me that the only reason for this is because I'm LAZY.
I really am. I want to do as little work as possible. That's sad to say. I've thought about sitting on my bottom in an New Age retail store or web business', and the the like. Which is quite different to the jobs I've had in the past.Every job I've had in the past has been fast paced in the corporate world. I've been an accounts manager and a project manager, I've looked after sales teams and managed many portfolios on behalf of leading telecommunicaitons companies.
But I got bored too quickly, and end up dwindling off, and walking away from it all.
I then sit at home again and just wandering and wondering. So anyway, two days ago I searched mycareer.com and found a job that had my name all over it. It was local, just up the road, for another telco store. They needed an accounts manager, so I sent my resume off, got a call the same day, went in for an interview yesterday, and I start Monday.
I'm not excited at all.
The pay is exceptional, and there is a high possiblity that job can evolve into something higher.
Woopdidoo! I came home miserable, but my stars said for that day:
"You are now unhappy about a situation in which you feel powerless. That's why you are so keen to put energy into a proces that you can influence. Don't escape into fantasy, or act out a limited role in which you feel safe. Face, head on the issue that you find so exhausting or exasperating. You can yet turn THAT into a personal triumph." Indeed.  But instead, I thought, "stuff it, I'm going to stay in my comfort zone and call the local new age store to see if they'll have me"
So I called, the lady there put me on hold while she tended to the customers, she never came back to the phone.
I waitd 20 minutes.
I guess I'm not meant to step out of my comfort zone.
But I don't want this new job because I'm scared I'll repeat the same patterns, get lazy again, quit, and come home to escape in my books and fantasy. What I really want is energy and motivation.
All my corporate executive jobs I've done and about to do fits my Leo passion to a T. But why do I feel so miserable? I love to be incharge, I love to be responsible for sales profits, I love to hit high targets, I love to tell people what to do, I love to be respected. Is it because I'm just lazy and have created a comfort zone which has caused me to become withdrawn?
All the signs are telling me to go for it, yet I feel like poop. Help!?
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"...and dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"
-Linda Goodman
IP: Logged |
Sheaa Olein
Moderator Posts: 2488
From: My monad, then the UK
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 08, 2005 08:06 AM
Oh my goodness SunChild - I think I'm in the same kinda place. All my jobs are fast pace corporate type roles. Roles I don't really enjoy - I'm just not happy in the hard business world and know I must do to keep money coming in. I've recently also thought about working in and around crystals, wiccan supplies etc. however it's just not feasible for me right now.Maybe I'm going through my Saturn seven cycle  coming up to 28 at the end of November! I think the best thing for us to do is follow our noses - take any viable opportunities that arise and head forwards - and definitly not backwards - in any situation right now. Make the most of the lessons - especially this one - the fact that you've openly taken responsibility to your life shows you're ready for the next challenge and because of that I firmly believe you/we can do it. *thumps chest* I believe in you sis!  It's Saturday afternoon and I'm at my dad's shop right now so must go and see to a customer - aswell as working on getting my Saturday's back! SunChild - hang in there. Take whatever job suits right now - you never know who or what, you may meet. Love & hugs,
Sheaa   ------------------
"Number is the Word but is not utterance; it is wave and light, though no one sees it; it is rhythm and music, though no one hears it. Its variations are limitless and yet it is immutable. Each form of life is a particular reverberation of Number." Maurice Druon, From the Memoirs of Zeus IP: Logged |
Sheaa Olein
Moderator Posts: 2488
From: My monad, then the UK
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 08, 2005 08:12 AM
Just to reitify quickly - the only reason you're / we're in a situ we don't like is because we have to learn something from it - or because you're at the instant karma stage. Just ride it with a good heart, it'll come good bebe  IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 08, 2005 08:36 AM
Sheaa I'm going through my saturn cycle too, this October...But by the way wow, you look very youthful in your photos...I thought we'd be at the same 'age'...well it is quite an illusion...hehehe. The next challenge indeed. Thanks for your confidence in me...I really need anything right now to make me want to do it.
I guess anything new is always a bit scary, I even used to have a hard time starting the new year at school.
I'm a fixed sign ya know.  I do need this challenge really, I've had it too easy for too long. I'm about to do a soul test, to see what I've really got, nothing comes for free really. I need to work hard for the future.
I'll keep that in mind when I get down at work.
Well that's an 'if' I'm trying to keep positive, it always works. Thanks for lifting my chin up...talk to you soon.
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"...and dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"
-Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
tracysalome
Knowflake Posts: 327
From: minneapolis minnesota USA
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted October 09, 2005 12:36 AM
I also went through this same exact thing, Do you have any kids? I do and this makes things even harder to go out of the comfort zone, but a turn of events have recently forced me out of it, having to start work again that is, and I haven't really had a "career", and have also felt the same exact way about wanting some kind of home based buisness in the new age field. Now that I've been out and about, searching for a job and talking to people and beginning to continue my education, I've realized that being a hermit, I don't think that I got enough encouragement and positive reinforcement because I've been working and learning and also making jewelry with gemstones corresponding to peoples signs and numbers to sell, and I've been getting so many compliments that it just keeps me going strong. I've been very fulfilled. And I just keep finding as many things that I want to do as I would find excuses not to do stuff(when I was in a position similar to yours) So I would have to say my advise is that if your prooblem isn't the same as mine was, that you think deeply about what is either holding you back, or what is causing your lack of inspiration. I feel more free, proud, and fulfilled than ever in my life. good luck. I really hope that all goes well for you, because I know that what I thought was comfort staying home before, for me turned out to be a million wonderful instances that were passing me by with children or without, Things can be done, the universe WILL create a way, if you show the incentive.IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 3263
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 10, 2005 12:41 AM
I identify as well. For me, I think part of it is not wanting to sell out. I don't want to have to try to convince myself that I like a job when I don't.Lately, all the signs I read astrologically and Numerologically seem to be pointing in one direction. I'm really curious to see whether that path comes somewhat easily if I try it. IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 10, 2005 06:49 AM
Hi Tracy Nope I don't have children yet. That reminds me about a year ago I was certain I wanted to be a primary school teacher, I love children.  Your words really mean something to me, you advice is spot on. For me to be where I want to be requires money, that's honestly what I need to fulfill my dream that I'm forcefully trying to manifest right now. But the path has been revealed, I need to put effort in and show the Universe that I'm willing to work for it.
I started work there today, and tonight I'm feeling braver and empowered. But as long as I know why I'm doing it then that will keep me going. I'll follow my destiny and all the obstacles along the way. It's not going to be easy, but I already sense the feeling I'll have when I get there. I've been expecting things on a silver platter for too long.
It's alot different now. AG, I agree with following signs.  ------------------
"...and dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"
-Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 3263
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 10, 2005 12:05 PM
I felt good last night as well. I went and started reading a book about the path I feel I should take. The book felt remarkably insightful, and dealt immediately with some limitations I've felt I would have in pursuing this.IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 10, 2005 09:39 PM
I received some spiritual counsel today because it's day 2 at the job and my feelings from last night have gone out the window...I feel sick and feel like I'm about to breakdown on the floor.
Here's a part of what I've been told:
"on an individual basis there can be some particular issues, which need to be effectively solved. Individual trauma is often caused by the false perception we need to do or accomplish 'things' in the physical world. But such 'things' may not be what our soul requires of us. And yet the individual can often see no way out. The big picture is obscured because each day individuals feel they are required to perform 'have to' duties, such as working in jobs that no longer resonate with their new inner aura. Other examples include those needing to manage a business that is not part of the soul purpose any more or those functioning in what at times seems to be an uncaring daily environment. "
I'm going to talk to a healer today about all the signs and omens I've been witnessing because I think I'm reading them with too much of a limited perspective, I'd like to get more advice because I'm so confused.  Nothing makes sense in the past week, I felt like I was following the signs even though my heart was saying the NO.
But I chose the signs because it's ABOVE all, but then again, I could be reading them with blurred vision.I'm seeing contradictions everywhere and I need some clarity....*sigh. Might walk out today, might not, will see.
Please send some light. Thanks. ------------------
"...and dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"
-Linda Goodman IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 3263
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 11, 2005 05:24 PM
Mmmm...let us know.
 IP: Logged |
26taurus
Moderator Posts: 9353
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 02:14 AM
Seems like alot of people are dealing with some tough inner stuff right now, Sun. 's, Love and clarity to you. ------------------
What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.
~Richard Bach IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 03:45 AM
You're right 26, I have noticed. Challenges, challenges, challenges. I ended up walking away from that job.
I'm stepping out of the corporate world completely, it's not me, my hearts not in it at all.
I'm just in the wrong industry, I'm sure I'll find what I seek.
If it's meant to be, it's up to me.
I'll find happiness in my work, I know I will. ------------------
Follow your own rainbow IP: Logged |
Sheaa Olein
Moderator Posts: 2488
From: My monad, then the UK
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 05:36 AM
Hi beautiful, how are you today? I just read this briefly I'll get back to this thread since I can't read it properly from work right now. Love to you IP: Logged |
26taurus
Moderator Posts: 9353
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 04:14 PM
"If it's meant to be, it's up to me."  I know you will too. Youve got what it takes to make your dreams reality. Try to enjoy the journey in the process. You are where you need to be.....I know you know this.  IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 08:50 PM
Hi Sheaa, love to you too
How's everything going with you?
I saw your challenges thread, I haven't had time to respond to it yet, but I will.26, I know it too, I actually woke up this morning happy, even though I have alot of things going on, I am actually happy.
The industry I was trying to get into isn't what my Soul desires.
Like my old quote used to say "dreams are the first step"....well it's time for me to take the next step.
I get it now. The belief in Linda's quote is so drummed into my subconsious that there is no way I can doubt myself now. Here's to ~NOW!~
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Follow your own rainbow
IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 3263
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted October 14, 2005 12:43 AM
It's far more brave, inspiring and uplifting to pursue something you really want. This is a lesson I'm learning too.Good luck to all of us! IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 14, 2005 04:11 AM
Indeed! ~*+.~*~+,~*'~*~,* ------------------
Follow your own rainbow IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 22664
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted October 15, 2005 11:44 AM
Keep hanging on. The situation will improve, as will your clarity. ------------------
"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 15, 2005 07:50 PM
I shall, thanks Randall. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 22664
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted October 16, 2005 04:46 PM
------------------
"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll IP: Logged |
lovelyelle
Knowflake Posts: 80
From: New York, New York, USA
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted October 17, 2005 03:24 PM
Can you tell me where online I can find when my saturn cycle is?IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 2440
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted October 17, 2005 03:44 PM
lovelyelle
nice to see you
every 7 7 1/2 years, you can welcome a soul piece, for some it can even be every 12 years
associated with chinese astrologyvery interesting stuff
 Love and Light to ALL IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 22664
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted October 23, 2005 12:30 PM
Are you feeling better, SunChild?------------------
"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll IP: Logged |
26taurus
Moderator Posts: 9353
From: the stars
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted October 23, 2005 03:50 PM
Yes, are you? IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 2302
From: Oz
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted October 23, 2005 06:56 PM
I am a little yes, thanks 26 & Randall. Destiny threw something in my lap just the other day...
I went to find a print shop to print my reiki certificate and I met the owners, they were an old italian couple. Anyway my reiki certificate sparked their curiosity and got us all talking about it, and they were very curious about me too. Then I was asked if I was looking for work! They wanted to know if I would be their young fresh face for their health market.
They mainly sell glyconutrients, but all other holistic things too. I'm researching all about glyconutrients before I begin to sell it, and I'll be attending a presentation tomorrow. It sounds interesting, but wont commit to anything just yet. Have any of you had experience with glyconutrients before? IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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