Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 12, 2005 02:27 PM         

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Man oh man, this Saturn return (in my first house.. sense of self) along with many other cycles, is doing a number on my sense of love, individuality and Duty.

The love stuff... bah.. not going to end in the foreseeable future, too much riding on it to make clear headed decisions, and well.. I just don't know- past present future, what works for me. Tired of walking blindly and questioning every bump and wall....
What's true? I'm too jaded and tired to really search.
BUT.
Here's some excitement.
When the idea that I could ( and should, on some level) be responsible for myself and my children in a financial capacity, more so than just supplemental income, I realize I fall short.
What I do for a living I can't make a living at, especially in current circumstances. Nor is it particularily fulfilling. My MC is Cusp Aries/ then Taurus.
I am totally going to go back to school.
I am thinking a physiotherapy assistant.
It works with my strengths, and I will be actively involved in rehabilitation.... helping people, organizing and achieving plans to strengthen people's resolve and help them in a meaningful way. There is a spiritual side to it as well.......
I always want to get to the bottom of things, even within my current job..
I have a sixth house Moon.. help help help.. emotional satisfaction through it, in service.
I think this is the key, it feels rather epiphany like.
So wish me luck as I get my sorry ass in gear and try to fulfill myself and find direction before I hit thirty.
Damn, I am a poster child for Astrological cycles and challenges.
I wanted to share my enthusiasm.
Now off to find my ways.....

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Posts: 4502
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted December 12, 2005 05:45 PM         

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Oh Pix!

So happy and excited for you. Go Pix, go!

My boyfriend used to work as a nurse's assistant for a quadraplegic patient for 4 years. Before working professionally, he used to volunteer to help people with spinal injuries since a teenager. It was such a deeply rewarding and tremendously personal experience for him. You could just see the compassion and warmth in his face when he talks about it.

I think you'd make a wonderful therapist. Lots of well wishes to you.

Loves Ya,

Aphrodite

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Posts: 1613
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 12, 2005 11:16 PM         

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Oh pix, helping in rehab -- this is a wonderful direction for you!!!

imho, there isn't anything more rewarding than helping others get well, be well, and learn how to stay well.

Perfect!!
'Z

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 12, 2005 11:24 PM         

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Thank you, beauties!!
I think so too.. it feels... right.
I'll find out more tomorrow, but right now I can't see how I won't do it.. I am to excited!

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Posts: 1584
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted December 13, 2005 12:50 PM         

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I've been reading your posts... I know you've been struggling.

I'm happy you've had a break through.

Looks like the saturn return can in fact be a good thing. Encouraging.

epiphany - I'm glad to see someone else likes this word.

Good luck to you.
__________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 13, 2005 03:40 PM         

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Thank You!
Well.. Saturn return for me has meant tumultuous changes, unseen circumstances and a lot of tears, but for whatever reason, it is also leading me to reevaluate my living potential, and so far it is hopeful.
I met with someone today, and though it will cost me a lot of money, it is an investment.... and will pay off beyond money.
I passed the entrance exam.
I am meeting with a finacial advisor soon, and then we're off....
I have a lot of time to think though because the class starts in July.
I am excited though, but I do know how time moves fast. ( the older I get) so I know it isn't that far away.
It will be a full course load, but I can do it, I excell in a learning environment.

Oh, this was funny!!!
I showed my humble humility today during the interview.....
I meant to say 'congenital', as in congenital defect.. and I said 'genital'.
then promptly said "Did I really just say Genital? *laughter* I meant CON-genital, I am so going to laugh about this later..."
Oh gosh......
anyway, it was good. On the cusp of positive changes. Making a renewed commitment to my family too.
My husband is here for me no matter what, I can't take him for granted if he is unquestionably there to prove himself.
I do him.

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Posts: 2782
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted December 13, 2005 08:53 PM         

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Posts: 5545
From: Southern 'Bama
Registered: Aug 2002

posted December 14, 2005 10:53 PM         

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So flippin' COOL pixelp!

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Posts: 23010
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 16, 2005 02:35 PM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 16, 2005 03:41 PM         

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*Humongous smiles*
Thanks for the encouragement!!!!

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Posts: 23010
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 19, 2005 01:22 PM         

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Keep us updated.

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 20, 2005 10:18 AM         

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Thanks, Randall...
I have an update.
I called around/researched before committing to this school. I called actual physio places, left a message and was able to speak with someone.. I asked if in heir professional opinion, they'd heard of the reputation of this school, and whether it would be worth it, ultimately, for me to pursue an education there.. whether they'd hire people from there, etc....if they have a good track record...
I hate bursting my excited bubble.. but that's life.. Basically the consensus is no, they have placed someone from that school, but hospitals won't....(ultimately, that would be a road I'd rather be on, financially, it makes sense...)I was told the students placed from the program I was thinking of were unhappy with the skills they'd acquired.
The problem is.. I could take it at an acredited, nationally recognized College, but I need a few background courses first.. and it starts later, and runs two years .. I feel a great need to start NOW. Plus, I'd have to initially shell out more money, though in the long run it is probably better...
So now I am at the point where excitement turns into patience, and I still feel unsettled with it.. I so desperately wanted this to be the answer, but am now revisiting investing money instead into a project Idea I had in the summer.... and really, all along.
I like learning, and the idea of a regular job appealled to me, one which I help people... but I am continuously being pointed toward my own strengths... I'd still need possibly a small business course ( which would be less headache for me to proceed with.. night school option, instead of changing my entire world for day school..)
And always, the idea that I'd be my own boss is a good one for me.
(you're familiar with my chart?)
I am an artist/writer, and have a way with people. I want to channel that toward something.. making visions, cards....
I need guidance and better tools.
I am waiting for signs from the Universe... ones that don't say 'stop' so much.... and I am also speeding it along with research. ( Capricorn Moon. I don't have to tell you....)

Thanks for the interest. My life will change in the new years, of this I am hopeful and optimistic.....

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Posts: 23010
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 26, 2005 09:50 AM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 1020
From: beautiful, hidden mountain village, BC, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 26, 2005 01:49 PM         

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Hey Pix...maybe don't let go of the school thing just yet. There are lots of programs that help with the finances. Also accredited schools tend to offer lots of different types of grants, bursaries, and scholarships. I know two years sounds like a long time, but you will still be two years further along your life path than you are now. The difference will be made by which direction you decide to point yourself. I get a real "door number three" feeling from this. No matter what direction you choose, it will be very good for you to feel confident that you can care for your children independantly. Good luck!!!

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Posts: 1020
From: beautiful, hidden mountain village, BC, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 29, 2005 11:45 AM         

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bump for Pix.

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 29, 2005 12:56 PM         

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Thanks FishKitten.. I always feel that information from you is channelled through a voice I really resonate with.

I get the 'door number three' vibe as well...
and as I feel about fate and destiny, I am waiting yet also being active. I am breaking down internal barriers and trying to find ones that work.
I do feel like business school is what is needed.. just to get the nitty gritty.. I know it will be a challenge, as numbers are my challenge, and the mundane is my challenge.. so if I can get through this and let it integrate into my psyche, I will have real tools for my future.
I still want to help people, I feel this is my calling, but really, too many signs have been pointing away from physio, and as they have been pointing, I agree with them more and more. I feel lke a fake when enthusiasm is misplaced, but this is redirected.
It feels truer.
I feel like I need guidance with this, and I am sort of waiting for the unveiling, and i know I will recognize it when it happens. Faith in myself is hard to come by.. well, more accurately, it comes, but isn't sustained... I think once it is, I will know, without a doubt.

Thanks for the faith.

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Posts: 1020
From: beautiful, hidden mountain village, BC, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 29, 2005 01:32 PM         

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As you know, I have the utmost faith in you and your abilities. Watch for your sign. I'm sure it is coming.

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Posts: 23010
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 30, 2005 11:56 AM         

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 30, 2005 07:42 PM         

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right back atcha Randall!

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted January 12, 2006 09:26 AM         

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There is always a reason to be excited!

I am so looking for direction here.... being extremely open to door number three.
I have always been the type to have many things I do, though professionally ( I should use quotations on that word, that is how I am feeling about it) 'professionally' I do one thing, but on the sidelines, I will always have projects going on.
I considered turning my projects into a business oportunity ( soon to be filled up with a different project no doubt)

I went to a yoga class last night. I think I have found a new obsession.. I have always understood the principles, just naturally.... and it sort of blends into the things I already do... it felt really quite natural. So I think (and this is so premature!!!) that I will work toward this being one of those sidelines.. I will study the practice more, learn the principles on a deeper level, and get all the knowledge I can, and start teaching that on the side. i barely know it, let alone teach it.. but it does sort of go within the teacher/ helper/ psychology/ Mars conjunct Sun theme. I already know the systems of the body, the musculature ( I just have to study) and so I am a little excited by this revelation, though it is in no way going to happen soon.
But hey, this thread is called "A Reason To Be Excited"... and well, that IS a reason!
Just some more on the path to clarity.
Thanks for letting me ramble.

oh! I just thought of something...
When I was a little girl, my Oma ( dutch) used to put on a Yoga record, and we'd do poses together when I'd visit.
I always asked to do this.. I was always drawn to it, so the whole practice has deep seated happiness in it for me, via memories.

I just don't know if there is a tutorial somewhere I can take.. I'll do it!
Anyway.. just clarifying that this impulse has been in me for a long time.

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Posts: 621
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted January 12, 2006 11:40 AM         

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Good Girl!
Good luck Sweetie!

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Posts: 5682
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted January 13, 2006 07:06 PM         

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You go girl!!

I know you can do anything you put your mind to, Darling!

... and you're right. You have a way with people. I bet everywhere you go people just LOVE you!

I know we all do!

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Posts: 23010
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted January 21, 2006 12:57 PM         

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In my life, I have generally found Doors Numbered Three to be good doors.

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"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things." "I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Lewis Carroll

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Posts: 2892
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted January 22, 2006 06:20 PM         

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I signed up for a (an acredited)college distance education course, the first of many, that can lead to a diploma, in time.. but mostly, it will look good on my resume, and I could really use the tools in my own life.. I start tomorrow.
It is called "Effective Management-Human Relations"
The next I will take will be more business minded as well, then I'd like to go over how to keep books/create a business plan.

My brother and one of my best friends ( who I consider a sister, as I have known her half my life) want to open up something.. He is a chef, so cafe sounds like a good option.. but unusual in some way, something to hook people.

Been talking a lot lately, here, about how I am so off course in physical reality from who I am in my Soul.
The effects of that in my personal life really show..... I am not grounded in the least and feeling it to the point that I need to take action.. it can't live in the spiritual anymore, it must manifest.
I have love around me.. more than I could even have imagined.... So I do know that whatever action I must undertake, it will be met with understanding instead of opposition.. it took a long time to get to that point, but it is certainly soothing that people around me are on a supportive page. (finally!!!)
This new course is a stepping stone in knowledge.. but ultimately, I know I have much more to learn.

I also offered my services to paint a mural in a place I frequent, and I am waiting to hear about it.

Thanks for the encouragement, and lets hear it for dooors opening in everyone's life!!!

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Posts: 4502
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted January 25, 2006 07:49 PM         

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I'm really happy for you.

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