posted January 29, 2007 12:02 PM         

here's the issue ~

i find that i must put my son - 4 yr old - in the care of others tomorrow, while i must be elsewhere in the evening.

he's never been apart from me. (once when he was a newborn he was in the care of his father while i went to the market for a few minutes....that was so traumatic for him that i never left him alone again.)

i've never left him with caretakers, relatives, anyone....we've always practiced attachment parenting and it was my deliberate choice to keep him involved in every part of my life.

i know that i must allow him to experience separate time from me, and his age is appropriate for that now. he attends some groups with children alone, but he knows he can find me in the building if he needs me.

in this instance tomorrow, we both are feeling traumatized.

the situation arose, and i'm feeling uncomfortable in a myriad of ways about it. he is a very high energy, high needs child. most people aren't prepared to devote the time and patience necessary for a child like this. we do not use traditional medicine in his health care, and i find this difficult to explain to people without disapproval. this however is of great importance to me, and babe's well-being.

more than anything, my fears about being apart from him feel almost irrational....i am almost panicked at the thought of this. it feels like abandonment to me -- almost....as i feel that he will view it this way as well.

i know this situation may sound trivial and irrelevant perhaps, in this culture children learn to be apart from parents from very early on...

but for us, it's a very big undertaking, and we both are distraught about it. i've talked with him about it, we'll talk about it throughout the day.....but thus far he refuses to accept it.

he just doesn't understand why this has to happen.

please send love and light and whatever may help us traverse this....adventure, to try to see it in as positive a light as possible. so that it will be a success for both of us, so that we may appreciate each other even more, upon my return, for my healthy and happy babe tomorrow evening.

thank you!!

posted January 29, 2007 03:12 PM         

I remember bringing my daughter to her first day of kindergarten, she was fine, and I cried all the way home, lol
she had been babysat by family before this...
Do you have family around, Do you trust the person who will be babysitting?
Have him bring things that make him comfortable, do you have a cell phone?
he could call you...

it's going to be fine..really!
I'll light a candle and say a prayer for you both to be strong and know you are protected even when you are apart...

posted January 29, 2007 08:41 PM         

i thought of letting babe see where he might be today, perhaps spend some time there, but he seemed distressed just talking about it, so i thought we'd just let it seep into our consciousness for today.

i so wish i knew his caretakers better....i should be able to trust them though.

letting him call is a very good idea...though where i will be most of the time will be inaccessible to mobile phone.

my plans are quite important to me...if however i am not comfortable with his arrangements i will cancel my plans. and then begin implementing small events, as you suggest, wherein he might become accustomed to spending time away from me a little at a time, so that we can do this more seamlessly when circumstances necessitate.

posted January 30, 2007 11:14 AM         

it turns out that i can take my son with me to the temple and he can stay in another room while i'm occupied. so i know he'll be close....and he knows i'll be close as well. he says this is ok with him.

his ultra high energy is always a concern though...lol. we'll work on that today. but feelin' much better about things today.

thank you for your magic Lotus. it worked!!

posted January 31, 2007 04:11 PM         

oh my gosh....it was amazing!! and that my son was able to be close at the same time, made it perfect.

i'm so very grateful to the universe.

today is amazing as well...it was transformative.

thanks and praise to the universal powers that be.