posted March 13, 2007 05:04 PM         

See if anything resonates. Just a thought.

Also, I have a son who was diognosed with ADHD. We used to play a game called "What if..." (he would do things without thinking first)
It went like this...
He would do something, not even necessarly bad.
I would try to equate his story with a story of my own when I was a kid.
Tell him the similar story (empathy) and then would ask him what he thought was the outcome of the story.
This has to be done with a sense of humor or it won't work!
He would try to guess the outcome.
Here's an example.

One time he put a parakeet's head in his mouth. lol. It bit the inside of his mouth.
He came crying to me. After we cleaned up the blood and he felt a little better, I started laughing. (I was laughing to myself earlier.)
I asked him "What do you think pete was thinking when all the sudden he was put into this giant black hole with stinky breath and a red waggly thing"? He laughed. Then I told him a story about when I was a kid how I stuck raisins up my nose. He laughed. I asked what he thought happened.
He'd come up with some crazy ideas, then I'd tell him what happened. I had to go to the Dr. and he stuck a large pair of tweezers up my nose to get them out. Laughing, I told him what I was thinking, as though I was reliving it, but with an adult sense of humor. He would die laughing at some of the stories. So, whenever he'd do something naughty, or without thinking, I'd say "What if..."
And of course there was the punishment issue.
Depending on what happened, I'd ask him what he thought the punishment should be, If he gave me a reasonable response, I'd say OK.
If he was too hard on himself, I'd say don't you think you've already learned your lesson?
I worked with him. He's 15 now and he begs me to tell him stories of when I was a kid.
And he thinks a bit more before acting.
I had some really crazy stories!
Kids LOVE stories and I think the more you relate to them on their level, the better they understand.

Once, my son was sent home from school. 8th grade. He was sent home because he was laughing histerically at a class situation. When he got home I asked him what was up, he said-laughing- "Mom, my spelling teacher spelled two words wrong on the board." We laughed, no punishment.
He doesn't like conformity and neither do I, so we get along great.

posted March 20, 2007 03:25 PM         

Go to his classroom with him, yes you heard it right., if necessary take time off from work and just do it [three or four days, perhaps a week should do it] Show him that he has your support ALWAYS. Witness first hand what's really going on in the classroom. Is he really out of control? Is he being treated fairly? How do other children respond towards him, etc.
If it seems the teacher is in fact the issue, transfer him to another classroom immediately! He needs positive adult role models now more than ever, probably of the male gender would be the best bet. [perhaps a male teacher]-this often does wonders!
If it seems he does not get positive interactions with other children seriously deal with this through helping him learn to be a friend and communicate in positive ways. Many childrens books and learning groups teach this.
If it seems he is just plain out of control: [having ruled out hyperactivity already...] You must disapline yourself and your own actions as well as re-actions.

Meaning total consistancy!

Write down a schedule for daily events and stick to it.
Examples;
breakfast 7:am
shower, get ready for school; 7:30-8 am
pick up from school and go to the park 12:30pm-1:30 pm
Change clothes and clean bedroom 1:30-2 pm
playtime/Watch TV 2:00-3 pm
Eat dinner 6 pm
Art/music activities 6:30-7:15pm
Take a bath 7:15-7:40 pm
feed the dog, fish frog etc.
Read a bedtime story 8 pm-8:30pm
Bedtime

Write down rules for daily living as well as consequences if not followed and rewards of doing such and stick to it. [Let your child help!]

No screaming, biting hitting, pushing, shoving, interrupting, stealing, lying, etc. if I do these things I will have a time out for 10 minutes and during this time I will be unable to do ANYTHING but sit still. [NOTE: time out does not begin until all words/tears have ended] at the end of time out I should fix the offending situation and apoligise sincerely.

When I clean my room I am rewarded with a sticker, special snack, or storybook, ect.
When playing nice with others I am rewarded with hugs, stickers, friendships, etc.
When Doing art projects I am rewarded with these being posted to the refridgerator door for all the world to see, etc.

Perhaps make a chart showing each day of the week and collect silver or gold stars for each good thing. at the end of the week add up the stars and your child is rewarded with a dime or quarter for each star and then you take a trip to the dollar store so they can chose their own gift/rewards
This will also help your child learn to spend money wisely.

MOST IMPORTANTLY: FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE BEHAVIORS!!!

Children need assurance and desire attention, they want to please you!

If they feel they are not getting enough attention they will act out in order to receive it -good or bad matters not to them only that they are getting attention.
Give child lot's n lot's of love!
Share spiritual time with child as well.

Take a class called [Parent's in Control] they are located all across america and provide positive support to both children and parents, as well as free childcare and new friends with success stories, and who knows maybe even a single guy or two interested in playing good role model to your son?

*Remember your Libra child has a very difficult time making up his mind about things. So make the decisions for him in advance... Set a schedule, stick to it!
He will stop getting confused.
Sounds and colors will profoundly affect your little one as well! If things seem chaotic whenever he's in the livingroom. Simply change the decor or background sounds: Furnishings that are blue mabey need a sheet tossed over them to change the color to white/brown whatever... TV's that are constanly on, need to be turned off and perhaps some soft music playing or the sounds of a tabletop aquarium may be just the trick.
YOU WILL BE AMAZED by these simple tricks to help your little Libra relax, calm down, and be able to contol himself. Not to mention all the reduced stress you are feeling!

posted May 28, 2007 11:43 PM         

Are things going better?

posted May 31, 2007 11:13 PM         

Well..... My son has been going to therapy. They were back and forth on whether or not he has ADHD. After seeing 2 more Psych's they determined that he did not have it... his issues was not a mental one. But behavioral. Basically he's stubborn as hell and has "only child syndrome" to the 10th power.
He has calmed down some due to several factors.
I moved to a 2 bedroom apartment so he enjoys being in his own space, territory, his own little place. He plays baseball and loves it now. He refused to play at 1st (although he asked 2 play) and i discovered it was because he was afraid that he wouldnt being able to do it right. So i have been working on building his self esteem and confidence levels. I learned a lot from the therapist as well; like how to interact with him effectively and address his behaviors.
It has been very trying but the light is starting to shine through. Dome days he goes backwards and his behavior frustrates me but we are both trying. Everyone is noticing his efforts and I praise him constantly for his efforts.
We still have a journey ahead of us though. But by God's grace were making it.
Thank you for remembering us and asking about us.
hugs & a bump 2 you

posted June 04, 2007 12:50 AM         

The rewards will be SOoooooooooooooooo worth it -when you look back, as a proud momma watching him raise children of his own with patience and kindness in his heart it will warm you to the very core of your soul