Posts: 3941
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 15, 2007 11:44 PM         

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I stood on the PATH train the other day looking for something to occupy my short ride home. And just like that, I noticed seated in front of me, a young guy wearing a t-shirt that read "winning a million dollars won't change me." He had headphones on, looked well fed and from what I could gather in the few minutes spent observing him, I had no reason to doubt the writing on his chest was anything but true. In the event that he was handed a million before the train arrived at his stop, Id have bet that hed take it in stride, smile coolly and be on his way, unchanged but for the extra cash.
My eyes drifted and sitting right next to him was a man, maybe ten years older scratching off several lottery tickets, with intention. A tattered plastic bag with contents exposed hung around his feet; a curve in his back leaned uncomfortably towards the future he seemed to hope waited on the tickets in hand. If he was indeed a winner, he showed no significant indicators to his new found fortune, and the earnest scratching continued.
Watching this irony, I thought to myself how life is just like that: too perfect to be mistaken for anything other than the mysterious series of coincidences we so often overlook, except when there is nothing, or at least very little to distract us.
From the view I had, it was obvious these two were unaware of each others significance in the picture I was examining. Shirt-boy was chillin, eyes closing from time to time as he communed with his headphones and ticket-scratcher just scratched and scratched. And in the awkward observer position, I was thankful for the opportunity to philosophize my way home.
As we headed deeper into the darkness of the underworld, I felt a bit strange pulling out my blackberry to type this down, but no one seemed to notice my fascination with the two men. The older man furiously fondled ticket after ticket while the cool kid sat calm, perhaps just visualizing his fortune into existence. I thought and thumbed into my little computerized notepad that he seems to know his fate so well that he wears it on his chest. Just like the lottery-chaser must know on some level that he is endlessly chasing, falling apart even in the maddening pursuit. Does his fate lie in the perpetual contest, never to be fulfilled or will he find victory in the endgame?
It was easy to drift into thoughts of how this relates to my own circumstances. How often do I chase after things that elude me and does the chase ensure the longing or the longing the chase? And how often am I in the throws of complete confidence that all will arrive perfectly, beautifully, without question (and in small unmarked bills)?
My mind's eye sees folks like CEOs, Presidents, Oprah-moguls appear as they so often display the coolness of the kid in the t-shirt, that Diddy-esque Zen of watching things happen, creating without doubt, like they know the story of their entire lives already - off by heart.
In Napoleon Hills book Think and Grow Rich, the common thread is the unspeakable, the knowing, the finished story uniting with the reader somewhere mid way through itself. Paradox. My mind twists around the gnarled roots of knowing that what we seek can only be sought and what we create is what we already are. Do we want or do we have in this life? This is a choice, perhaps the only choice in where our future lies. The secret of magnetics, and the undeniable law of attraction written in our every action, thought and desire.
These two men offered me another way of seeing myself. The lottery tickets representing the chase, the life of dreams unfulfilled. The scratch-and-win of maybe/maybe not feeding on the insecurities our modern world invites, that so many fall victim to the predictability of odds stacked too high. And on the other hand, the t-shirt is certain, like the ancient wisdom in the Tao Te Ching reads Instead of keeping a bow taut while holding it straight, better to relax. The statement on the t-shirt, like in the Tao ensures not only that the reality will happen but that meeting it with dignity, grace and confidence allows one to always hit their target.
I liked being in that moment of seeing myself in both of these situations. Yes, life is full of endless pursuits and of course it also offers firm truths, tailored to each individual. Our only challenge is the choices we make. Our only choice, to rise to the challenge of each situation as it spirals into the next one and beyond.
And then lottery scratcher got up. In the time that I had been observing him, he never looked up from his stack of tickets, yet it appeared as though he had been aware of where he was all along. T-shirt boy and I rode together the rest of the way to Journal Square. He looked up at me once or twice. But only after the lottery scratcher had gone....

From the blog of Jill Ettinger.

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Posts: 11361
From: Death
Registered: Jun 2004

posted August 16, 2007 04:47 PM         

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Awesome story. Thanks for sharing!

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Posts: 7507
From:
Registered: Mar 2005

posted August 16, 2007 05:35 PM         

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I can relate to T-shirt's attitude.
Very cool experience you had!

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"Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over and start a rehab for the damned!"
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~
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Posts: 9471
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted August 16, 2007 05:56 PM         

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It is an interesting story.

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