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Author Topic:   SURRENDERING
LMB
Moderator

Posts: 738
From: Cooltown, USA
Registered: Dec 2000

posted February 05, 2001 01:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LMB     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know if this is the appropriate forum to post this on, but I think maybe so.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot about surrendering of the ego lately.

I've been thinking about this because of my moods and the struggles I go through every day.

I'm an extremely introspective person. I've been in traditional therapy since I was nine years old so I've been made to be very s-elf-aware. Ironically, this past treatment program I was in showed me how horribly UNAWARE I was at many things so now I am trying to be more aware. (why does the word WAR exist within AWARE??)

Anyway, I realized I am a very self-absorbed person. And in my efforts of trying to live the beliefs I have (taught to me by Linda, hers-elf), I have been trying to be more loving and giving and compassionate.

But that is hard to do when you have severe depression much of the time and are so wrapped up with cellophane so tightly.

I want to surrender the ego, that part of me that is so self-absorbed in the negative sense.

I don't want to be so concerned about how others view me, I don't want to have so much anger and contempt for people in my life. I don't want to be so s-elf-pitying.

*sigh* Any feedback?


LMB

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YIVY
Knowflake

Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000

posted February 05, 2001 04:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for YIVY     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know if this will help, but I have found the more I worry about and 'nag' on something the more muddled I get...

Why don't you do this....remember that movie WHAT ABOUT BOB? Well, it seems you need to take a vacation from your problems. Let them slide for a while...quit beating yours-elf on the head if you let loose...if you get angry or egotistical.

Just try not to blow up a post office while you are at it

Keep posting here and let us absorbe any negative 'vibs'...we should be able to handle it...


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@~>~~
YIVY

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gooberlily
Knowflake

Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted February 05, 2001 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gooberlily     Edit/Delete Message
LMB, I too was in therapy...from the ages of 8-18. By the age of 22 I was admitted to the hospital 4 times for nervous breakdowns, 3 of those were suicide attempts. I've been on Prozac, Anafranil, Atavan, Xanax, Buspar, everything for depression since the age of 13, and drugs that weren't for depression...and Diphenhydramine for insomnia.

I was diagnosed with a chemical/hormonal/neurological imbalance when I was 17 after a battery of tests at Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York City.

My depression has not gone away completely, and probably never will. There are days when I don't want to get out of bed, there are nights where I can't sleep. But one of the greatest things that has helped me personally is accepting my depression, and knowing that when I am at the bottom, at some point I will pull myself up again.

Life comes in cycles, and so does depression. Major depressive episodes can last for years...depression can last that long. Many times it feels like it will never end, that nothing will be right no matter how hard we try. Don't beat yourself up over whatever you're trying to accomplish while in a bad depression...if something is taking a while to happen, or it doesn't seem to be turning out right depression can make someone hate themself. Self-criticism can be the worst at this point in time.

So, you shouldn't have to feel like you should be a more compassionate person, more giving...you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. You are doing the best you can with all you have right now, and nothing is better than doing your best. Depression causes us to be self-protective. It's natural. We're our own worst critic, the last thing we need to hear is something from someone that makes us feel that we are not living up to our potential.

Being aware is good, but awareness takes a while to achieve. Take everything one step at a time, one day at a time.

The best advice that I have to give is to tell you not to be afraid of your depression. Feel free to express when you are depressed, the reasons why, if you know what they are...and build with it. Turn something that can be destructive (if you hold it inside and sink with it) and make it into something constructive. Create with it. You have a gift for writing, so go with your feelings. Express your joy until the elation is unbearable, express your depression when you are face to face with yourself in your own hell...and most importantly, know that you are not alone and there are people that care about you.

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LMB
Moderator

Posts: 738
From: Cooltown, USA
Registered: Dec 2000

posted February 05, 2001 10:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LMB     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you so much. So much. {{{{hugs}}}}I'm just so tired.

LMB

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 22711
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted February 06, 2001 01:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
(((((( ))))))

------------------
Consider the circle, measure it please,
All its three hundred and sixty degrees.
Wasn't that fun, and haven't you found
You can do it again, the other way 'round?

Now that we know how many degrees,
Must be accounted for nice as you please
Here come astrologers, what do they say?
Divide the degrees in precisely this way.
Take thirty degrees for each of the signs
It makes a nice wheel divided by lines.

Chris Angelino

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gooberlily
Knowflake

Posts: 2296
From: Brooklyn, (and Norwich) NY, USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted February 06, 2001 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gooberlily     Edit/Delete Message
Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 22711
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 04, 2001 07:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
Just wanted to move this thread to the top.

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"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON

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chronicprincess
Knowflake

Posts: 3080
From: Earth
Registered: May 2001

posted June 05, 2001 07:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for chronicprincess     Edit/Delete Message
LMB ~

I've just read your post from Feb 5 about surrending the ego... This was some months ago and I'm wondering how you are doing? Better? I hope so...

I just wanted to add that I think by your post *alone* you did much to surrender your ego, and that you did so here in a place full of "these" 's I think is significant. I think you should visit here alot if you don't already There is so much Love and *freedom* here I don't see how depression <~~~ in prison> could survive for long (simply put, what lives in LindaLand reaches places Dr.'s can not ~ but need to), in my humble opinion.

Light
~katii


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"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

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Ra
Moderator

Posts: 552
From:
Registered: Jun 2005

posted June 05, 2001 12:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ra     Edit/Delete Message
LMB - I, too, am curious. Have you ever read The Book of Secrets by Osho? If not, I recommend this book to you above all others for this particular subject. Dropping the ego is a main point of this amazing book and it is based upon very ancient Hindu techniques. The entire book is nothing but techniques, 112 of them, and they are amazing. Did I mention it is amazing? As you can tell, I loved it!


PS: as an interesting and strangely appropriate tie back into this forum (immortality), in the explanation of the last sutra given, number 112, the very last sentence states: "And if you can die within to your inner space, you will attain to the life which never dies, you will attain to 'amrit', to immortality."

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 22711
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 05, 2001 03:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
Ra:

Katii, your Posts are so EnLIGHTening. I was not even aware that depression contained "in prison."

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"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON

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chronicprincess
Knowflake

Posts: 3080
From: Earth
Registered: May 2001

posted June 05, 2001 05:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for chronicprincess     Edit/Delete Message

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"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 22711
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 06, 2001 07:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
What other little Lexigram tidbits have you discovered, Katii?

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"The ancestor to every action is a thought." EMERSON

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YIVY
Knowflake

Posts: 4747
From: Louisiana
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 06, 2001 10:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for YIVY     Edit/Delete Message
I think the Princess, there has a lot of 'hidden' talents. She is a natural LEXIGRAMAMER...

So don't be , Katii, use that GIFT!

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@~>~~
YIVY
"Witchy Woman"

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chronicprincess
Knowflake

Posts: 3080
From: Earth
Registered: May 2001

posted June 06, 2001 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for chronicprincess     Edit/Delete Message
YIVY, Randall ~

Gosh! Thank you for the kind words

Ya know Yivy... It's *only* in my 'talents' that I am :dork smiley here: Ah... that must explain why *latent* is there too.

Randall, ask and ye shall recieve As it happens, I have been working on BEAUTY

BEAUTY (ABETUY)

YE BE AT BAY
YET YE BE BEAUTY
YE A BEAUTY!
YET YE BE AT BAY
BEAUTY AT BAY
BEAT A BAY, BEAUTY!
BE YET A BEAUTY

BEAUTY, YE BE!


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"...it came in on the sweetest breeze... i could hear it in color..." ~me

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 22711
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted April 11, 2002 09:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message

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"It is never too late to become what you might have been." George Eliot

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lotusheartone
Knowflake

Posts: 2774
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted November 19, 2005 05:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lotusheartone     Edit/Delete Message
Very interesting!

Love and Light to ALL

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