posted February 19, 2006 02:24 AM         

i've clung to her since i was very young....always needing her love and having the burning need to love and nurture her....(when i was a teenager away at school i'd bake cookies for her and send them to her... )....

anyway, deep reflection always reveals the same thing to me ~ that she has harbored a deep and abiding dislike, to put it mildly....it's more like an active and seething rage for me....all my life.

i know that in my adult life my behavior hasn't lived up to her standards, but i've discovered that regardless of any behavior i might exhibit, or accomplishments i might have, that she'd have this burning anger for me. in fact, the more success i've experienced in my life, the more vindictive and vengeful she seems to become.

her stance toward me arises from another life, i'm positive, in that, upon reflecting on our relations from the time i was very young she's always had a seeming grudge and dislike for me. i believe it was apparent even while she was pregnant with me, as she had so many complications with her pregnancy, and almost lost me several times. i was a few weeks premature....guess the life force in me was strong.

i do believe we must have incarnated in this way in order to resolve some karma between us. my birth number is 8, so i have lots of karmic things happening anyway, but she's a birth number 6, so i think that was meant to ease our interaction a bit....as the intensity of our feelings and interaction is so very pronounced.

i've never felt a reciprocal anger towad her...always compassion and love, and the wish that we could be close and have that mother-daughter bond that i've always craved. the feelings of protection and nurturing i've always felt for her seem to emanate from another life as well....

they've been with me always...even in the face of the great pain i felt when younger about her coldness and cruelty toward me.

that pain no longer has the effect it once did, but i continue to feel very strongly the wrath of her spite and fury.

seeking the answers to this tumultuous relationship in another incarnation we shared seems to be the solution to the ongoing pain i think we both still experience more than ever before....

we barely speak to each other, and when we do the civility between us is strained almost to the breaking point.

how can i access the events in our other lives that have resulted in this monumental chasm between us?....i wish to take an active part in delving into this, in whatever esoteric way i can...and to find a way of resolving it.

for this to take place with both our cooperation i doubt possible. but i know there must be some action i may take, in discovering our previous relationships, and then repairing them in a spiritual or metaphysical way?

does anyone have any experience with this sort of endeavor, or suggestions to contribute? i'd love to find the way that will give both of us the love and peace that i feel must rest between us at the bottom of our souls...

any and all wisdom, or just love and light, i very much appreciate....

love and blessings, salome

posted February 21, 2006 05:50 PM         

My Mother and I have has a very difficult relationship also..and yes most likely from a past life, or more..

I don't know if I will ever know exactly what we did to one another in another life, But I do know that forgiveness and love on my part, has altered our relationship to new level..
and we did have a heart to heart talk, she wouldn't admit to anything, or any blame, but I spoke and told her how I felt, this deep seated jealousy she seemd to have for me..

has been slowly leaving our presense

I can now hug my mom again..
and feel her Love..

so simply forgiveness and Love will solve it even if the other party is open to it.. it will eventually heal..

posted February 23, 2006 09:45 PM         

I've read that somewhere...

It's...not so bad...in some way...it's going to help us later, I suppose.

In school, I'm in this support group...(not a loser! ) and we talked about strenghts we've received from our families...and in a way, we have.

Although I would have prefer something...nicer at home, it has taught me things that not a lot of my friends know about...

It passes after awhile..

lots of love...and sorry I can't say anything else to help.

posted February 24, 2006 12:11 PM         

i shall be exploring this further with actions and thoughts about how to effect this kind of healing and reconciliation on a soul level.

love and light and bright blessings...

salome

posted February 25, 2006 03:51 AM         

I have had a very similar experience in my life with my mother but the only difference is that when she got breast cancer for the second time a few years ago and she thought she might die, she finally admitted to me that she had been angry at me my whole life for something that had happened when I was 2 years old! (if you can believe that...I didn't even remember)

I believe that it wasn't some imagined childhood slight that upset her for almost 30 years but rather a past life/karmic connection.

The only way that I have found to deal with this is the same as Lotusheartone, which is to BE Love and BE compassion and understand that in this lifetime it is up to her to make more of an effort and work through her pain. All you can do is tell your mother how you feel and then you will have no regrets, honestly. What she does with the information, love and understanding you offer her is up to her.

That's the best advice I can offer. You could always go to a past life regressionist to find out what the circumstances of you karmic tie with her is and then maybe it would help you to accept who she is in this lifetime and how she is choosing to deal with her issues.

Peace!

Love

posted April 01, 2006 04:55 AM         

p.s. On second thought, I'll throw out a book recommendation.. I haven't read this one yet, just got it in the mail, but I really like this author and after flipping through this one, it looks like it may have some nice pearls of wisdom that you may find useful...
It's called Mother-Daughter Wisdom, by Christianne Northrup

posted April 01, 2006 04:26 PM         

Understanding the Karma between you and your mother and can be seen in your natal charts.

First look at your Moon (and Venus somewhat) aspects (in your natal) this will tell you about your core relationship with your mother.

Next check your Mother's natal Moon (Venus)aspects, the tighter ones first. Any similar aspects between you two will show issues she has passed down to you.

Next compare the charts and look for South Node and Saturn inner-aspects to the Moon and Venus (both charts). This shows specific Karma. Its double if they fall in water houses.

If you need some help I will be more than happy to help you.

posted April 03, 2006 02:35 PM         

I also have tremendous mother issues that I'm trying to deal with, get through, forgive...whatever will help. It's very hard when the initial relationship you get is the one that causes the most grief. It's affected my entire relationship with everyone I've ever met.

She evidently had mother issues as well (my mother, her mother, and I lived together until my grandmother's death.) In the body/mind diagnosis, it's easy for me to see why my mother got breast cancer (they say breast health is affected by issues with your mother) and why it runs in families.

BTW, I am also an 8 baby, and that number has been prominent throughout my life. Combine that with my obsessive/compulsive and vengeful Leo mother (who has a Moon in Scorpio and a Virgo asc) and my Leo grandmother (who also had Virgo asc)... growing up was not easy for a little girl Bull (with a Virgo moon and the tottering Libra/Scorp asc).

I felt like I wasn't angry for decades. I was the eternal good girl. Now, not so much. I feel as if I have to get all this stuff out of myself somehow before I can be around her for any length of time. And of course, I can't be public about this, because it's the ultimate sin (in society's view.)