posted July 26, 2003 05:47 AM         

She's independent
No one wants a girlfriend they have to baby-sit. Once in a while, like if she's had a rough day at work, it's great to be her shoulder to cry on, but if she can't seem to function without you and is constantly after you, she will eventually make you feel like you're suffocating, which is a surefire way to get you running out the nearest exit.

On the other hand, if she has her very own personality and opinions, can stand on her own two feet, both financially and emotionally, and is able to enjoy time away from you -- while still missing you, of course -- then she must be a great girlfriend.

Number 9

She's intelligent
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the bimbo routine gets real old, real fast. A woman who can meet you at an intellectual level is a total turn-on. Instead of being the one in total control, you'll find yourself trying to figure out what she's really thinking behind those glazed eyes of hers -- or if she's actually thinking at all.

An intelligent woman will constantly surprise you and keep you on your toes. She won't let you get bored of her. Besides, it's nice to have something to talk about between all that chandelier-hanging sex.

Number 8

She's sexual
While we're on the topic, a great girlfriend has to be sexually compatible with you. For instance, if you're into S&M and she's more the "fluffy lingerie" type, that's a problem. The two of you have to be on the same page -- or, at least, she has to be willing to wear leather and use a whip from time to time.

Of course, this doesn't imply that she has to know all the right moves straight away; it simply means that you and she have an undeniable attraction towards each other, and are able to communicate your desires verbally (or with physical cues). It is important that you please each other in the bedroom, or on top of the dryer -- whatever the case may be.

Number 7

She's beautiful
I know, this one is kind of obvious, but important nonetheless. A great girlfriend will not only want to look good for you, but also for herself. She should always look her best and be well put together -- matching lingerie is a definite plus.

You have to be proud to have her on your arm and enjoy the sight of her in any light. And this doesn't mean that she has to be a Heidi Klum clone. Remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you think her full bottom or uncontrollable curls are beautiful, you're allowed.

Number 6

She respects you
This is a biggie. Your woman must respect you. This means that she listens to you, even if she doesn't necessarily agree with what you're saying. And, of course, she never tries to demean or belittle you in any way, shape, or form.

A great girlfriend won't ever cause scenes in public or in front of your friends and family, and will always wait to discuss matters with you in private. If she respects you, chances are that she will behave in a tactful and diplomatic manner in most situations, which is definitely a good thing.

Does your woman bring you and the guys beer on poker night?

Number 5

She lets you be a man
Do not -- I repeat -- do not get involved with a woman who tries to get you to eat cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast and insists that you give up poker night with the guys. You will end up resenting her more than you can imagine. A good girlfriend lets you be a guy in all your glory, poker night and all. If she's a great girlfriend, she'll even bring you and your buddies a couple of beers and make you some of her famous sandwiches.

She has to understand that men and women are different and should allow you to be yourself. Just like you wouldn't deprive her of going shopping with her best girlfriend, she shouldn't expect you to give up the guys for her.

Number 4

She's nagless
There is nothing worse than a nag! A great girlfriend knows this and chooses her battles wisely. She knows when to speak-up and when to let it slide. You don't want a girlfriend who will give you the heights of hell for leaving a couple of dishes in the sink occasionally.

However, if you live together and you stay out all night without calling her, and she lets you have it, then you're setting yourself up for disaster. This is a situation that nobody would let slide -- not even a great girlfriend.

Number 3

She gets along with friends & family
A great girlfriend will not only help your mom in the kitchen, listen to your dad's stories, and hang out with your friends, she will enjoy it. She'll make a real effort to get to know and love the most important people in your life. And she won't try to get you to ditch your best buds.

She'll actually empathize with your brother's getting dumped and suggest that you guys take him out to cheer him up. Not only that, but your friends won't roll their eyes and moan when you mention that she'll be joining you guys when she gets off work (yes, women like this do exist).

Number 2

She loves you
If you have found a woman who loves you for who you really are and not who you pretend or try to be sometimes, you should definitely hang on to her. A woman who doesn't try to change you is hard to find. Of course, everyone has their slightly annoying habits that their mate has to contend with, but if she really loves you, she will be able to cope with these.

Another way to know if she really loves you is by observing the way she looks at you and treats you on an everyday basis. If the sight of you doesn't seem to faze her either way, and she doesn't really seem to care about what you have to say, she's either playing very hard to get, or sees you as just some guy. But if a surprise visit or phone call from you makes her light up, there's no denying that she loves you.

Number 1

She makes you want to be a better man
Stop making that face... Any man who has a great girlfriend or wife will tell you that she makes him want to be a better man. She doesn't have to say or do anything; it just is that way. If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

do you already have her?

So, if this list seems to describe your current flame, you, my friend, are styling. In fact, you are probably the envy of all of your friends, even if they tease you for losing your status as "king player."

However, if the woman you are dating is more like the polar opposite, then I don't think that getting serious with her would be in your best interest -- but you knew that already, didn't you?

posted July 26, 2003 09:27 AM         

I learned new things from your posting today, 6 am Saturday morning. Lovely!

If you suddenly feel bad about how you treated your sister or find yourself trying to get your finances in order, you might want to think about your motivation for doing so. It could be love.

Is this from a man's perspective? If so, this is new to me . . . and I am pleased.

posted July 26, 2003 08:47 PM         

hes learned now. he knows (especially because of my back which has gotten really bad) that hes gotta contribute too. i certainly wont nag either, its not in my nature. that doesnt mean that he can sit there and do nothing.

posted July 26, 2003 09:00 PM         

Number one : I don't think so. If a woman is your motivation for "being a better man",then what type of person were you to begin with? And what kind of woman do you think you'll attract beforehand? Not the perfect girlfriend,that's for sure.

Number 5: Whatever. Respecting your boyfriend has NOTHING to do with bringing him and his "buddies" a beer and if she does that,it determines nothing. If a woman makes you want to be a better man,then you shouldn't be drinking beer,now should you?

Number 7: She's beautiful. Yes,this one is obvious. But only because we all (man or woman) are mostly visual creatures. However,this attribute is totally irrelevent because there's no such thing as generally beautiful,so there's no way to determine whether your girlfriend is beautiful or not,except how you feel when you look at her.

posted July 26, 2003 11:31 PM         

It just didn't belong with that point. His point was well made already. Maybe it was a copy/paste error? It looks like it belongs with point #5.

posted July 27, 2003 02:40 AM         

I think that number one is the best one because it's when you really love someone that you see how you could be better because you realize your potential and because to quote the movie "Karma Sutra": "Love...is a call to ripen" so wanting to be better for the person doesn't mean that you had some sort of major problem before it just means that loving that person and them loving you has turmed you on to a whole new scene.

posted July 27, 2003 01:53 PM         

a girl who doesn't mind if this is your Halloween costume...

posted July 27, 2003 11:51 PM         

No writer can possibly hit the perfect tone and points that we all want to hear, or hold dear, but this Jonathan Carlson's done a great job!

And bless you, Carlo, for your wonderful whacked reminder that a lustful sense of humour also goes a lonnnnng way in a relationship!

I'm still chuckling over

quote:

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or on top of the dryer --

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posted July 28, 2003 07:45 PM         

I read this article on MSN.com last week and it is perfect... very wise and very true, to the T...

posted July 29, 2003 11:22 AM         

She's independent
She's intelligent
She's sexual
She's beautiful
She respects you
She lets you be a man
She's nagless
She gets along with friends & family
She loves you
She makes you want to be a better man

This also works both ways. Delete all the S's at the beginning of the sentences , and replace man with woman, and beautiful with handsome . . . and there we go! (If a woman is heterosexual. If she is lesbian, keep it the same. If she is bisexual, then either way would be fine with her).

I think men with Aquarius in their charts are truthfully better correlated to the above listed sentiments. They are great partners to have if a woman chooses to pursue a career, and the men are even better parents this way because they realize the additional responsibility upon them to be fathers. These are the men who will be excited for you to go back to school, pursue new career opportunities, support you when others criticize you for "wearing pants" in the world. And, they are the least, if not, jealous if a woman makes more money than him.

One must also consider that not all men desire these listed qualities. Every man is different, granted. There are some out there who want to financially and emotionally support women, some who chase after women who do not respect them, men who get caught in relationships with physically and psychologically abusive women, and women who constantly put down men and make them think they are small people. There are also men who remain in relationships with women who do not care about sexual health. Sometimes there are hormonal issues (such as those that cause disinterest in sex) or inhibitions women have that are not dealt with. There are women with these qualities, and there are men who become involved with them. This is life as we know it for many, and these things do happen.

Just thoughts.

posted July 29, 2003 01:33 PM         

{{{the sound of ally punching carlo}}}

sry, that was so clearly junior high, please forgive me

lol

ally, kisskiss