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Author
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Topic: In need of a little help here :)
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Playing pisces
Knowflake Posts: 30
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted October 21, 2003 07:19 PM
 
Hey everyone,
I have a bit of a problem.
I am becoming a step-mother figure to a young 9 year old boy. I have been living with him and his father for almost a year while trying to gain full custody of my children. The big issue is this:
He has huge psychological problems stemming from his childhood with his mother. His Mother basically abandoned him and messed him up emotionally by denying him his father and his needs for physical,emotional and psychological stimuli.
This young man now has severe attachment disorder, oppositional defiant disorder and partial bi-polar. His doctor has him on a few medications(anti-psychotics) to keep him stable. He is a nine year old boy with the emotions of a 4 year old. I love him and am trying slowly to mesh his life with my chidren and his father..as not to make him insecure again. The hard part is that when he was 5 years old he had been blessed with a new step-mother who in the wedding vows promised him that she was going to be his new Mother and she would always love and be there for him..forever. She left 2 years ago..leaving him I'm sure with absolutely no trust in an adults words. The reason she left was because of him...she could not handle his behaviour. I could never crush him..I see so much love hidden underneath his power struggles and behaviour problems. Is there anybody out there that has experience in psychological astrology?
I could really use any help or advice that anybody has to give. I want to help him and give him a wonderful life full of love. Please help..and maybe send this wonderful boy some positive energy  His birth data is:
11/26/1993 in Lindsay, Ontario Canada
@2:52 PM. (EST) Love and Light! Ann Carnegie IP: Logged |
theFajita3
Knowflake Posts: 1457
From: Sunny South Florida, USA
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted October 21, 2003 08:12 PM
I can't help you astrologically, but I know that someone here will be able too But I can say I have been in a similar situation growing up. I idealized and loved my biological father and my first step father, both who broke their promises to be there for me always. So when my mom met another man, I rebelled. I wouldn't let him in. Not that I hated him, but I was so scared to be hurt again. So I pushed and pushed and pushed, even moved away when I saw he wasn't going away. I can say that now I see this man who I pushed away has been more of a father to me than the previous two. I regret the years I lost but am happy to at least now have let him in my life. Course I did a stupid job of disappointing him with my drug use, but we are still "a family." I can suggest maybe counseling? And your love above all else is what will help him heal. Life is incredibley tough for children, as sometimes they need someone to blame for the pain and don't know who and it's all so confusing yet very real and hard. I admire your love for this child. Hopefully the medication also helps him. But like I said, your patience and unconditional love is very helpful. I wish you lots of luck and healing light for him. I absolutely abhor the way some people scar their kids for life and I am glad there are people like you to help heal those wounds. I'm sorry I can't help you astrologically though. I just wanted to relate to you. ------------------
Namaste! IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 21, 2003 09:36 PM
Playing pisces~
I like your name. I actually lived in Lindsay, if you can believe that, for a short time. My lovely Capricorn cousin went to college there, and needed a roomie, I needed a change, with my baby son, so we up and went. For about a year. Enough about that!
It is a grand undertaking.....children are not hard to love. They are easy to most days...it is the days they aren't that pose challenges, but you seem to have the compassion and insight to know that promises broken by selfish adults do more damage than a child needs to bear, and doesn't set them up well with the knowledge that no matter what happens in the world, the adults in your life will never leave you. Children need that so much, too, in order to feel secure and content enough to explore learn and make mistakes. I applaud you for taking that upon yourself. I know that you will treat that task with the utmost importance, as you know what is at stake, as far as this injured boy's sense of love goes.
That assures you of success. Whatever anyone tells you regarding the astrological aspects, whatever happens in the day to day....if you hold dear to your heart and cherish the depth of support you need to show this little man, you will both be just fine. That is what I wanted to say.  IP: Logged |
Playing pisces
Knowflake Posts: 30
From: Toronto,Ontario,Canada
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted October 21, 2003 11:24 PM
Thank you so much for your support. Your response alone helps me to feel positive inside. I love this place! There are so many caring people here. Linda would be so proud if she could only see what Randall has created. You wonderful people are such an inspiration!I just want my children all to be happy and secure. I love to read parenting books by Barbara Coloroso. She is such a wise lady. Natural consequences are the best part of letting a child learn lessons. She says as long as it isn't life threatening, morally threatening or wrong to let your child be adventurous IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 25287
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted October 22, 2003 02:10 AM
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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
CappyChic
Knowflake Posts: 174
From: Ohio
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 22, 2003 05:03 AM
I'm not a psychologist or anything, but I just wanted to reply and tell you I think it's really great that you care so much about this kid. It must be really hard, I can't imagine. That's really sad what happened to him. I don't understand how people can abuse children like that, kids need love more than anything and this poor kid is probably scared to death to trust any one. I don't blame him. I would probably be devestated if all that happened to me as a kid. My childhood wasn't that bad and I still have issues with my dad and what not and I still have a lot of anger about that. I am sure though that eventually he will come around when he feels he can trust you enough that you won't leave him... I don't really know your whole situation, but I would like to say that it is very admirable that you care that much for this child. I hope everything works out for you guys and never give up because love conquers all 
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Lindaland
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