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Author Topic:   i spoke too soon
purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 12, 2003 11:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
When my leo told me he loved me, I assumed it meant we were back together. Last night when he called me I asked him about it, and he said it was because he cared for me, but not in that way. Then I said I tend to overthink things, and my brain needs a vacation. everything seemed ok, till today I checked my email and I got an email from him that said only "I'm on vacation!!", no xxxx's or ooooo's or love, john like usual I replied "i hope this doesnt mean what I think it means". why does this happen to me? I feel like crap about that, and also because tonite at work I was sexually harrassed and groped by a co-worker (Thankfully my parents let me quit on the spot) but still, i was doing so well, and thinking so positive, how could i have attracted this crap into my life. i am so depressed.

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted December 12, 2003 11:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Oh, sweetie! That really sucks! Good for you that you quit.
If he isn't an honourable person toward you, then maybe it'll be a good thing if you quit that on the spot too? Love makes you do things any rational person simply wouldn't, like accepting less for yourself than you would put up with if your best friend were going through something similar. Treat yourself as you would treat her..... You know the whole story, so only you know what is right in your situation. Good luck, you can always find empathy here, love.

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purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 13, 2003 01:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
thank u pixel, i know i deserve better than head games. I am quitting that leo once and for all.

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purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 13, 2003 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
I just sent leo this email:

"I don't hate you or dislike you, but I can't keep doing this to myself. I know I deserve better. Being your so-called friend is only hurting me. I need to do what is best for me and move on. I feel like You only pay attention to me when you want your enormous ego stroked, or when your other "friends" ignore you. I am still hurt from when you ignored ME for several months. I dont want to be your "f*ck buddy" or whatever, and I am sick of selling myself short to make other people happy. You probably only wanted to be my "friend" again because you felt guilty. I hope you are not mad at me. good bye"

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Motherkonfessor
Knowflake

Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003

posted December 13, 2003 02:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Motherkonfessor     Edit/Delete Message
poor purplezen......

but your email was great..the one you sent. It reminds me of a letter I sent to my Leo.
Except the "hope you arent mad at me."
He is the one who hurt you, and made you angry!! Pi$$ on him!!!

I have been there myself, with a Leo....and I too assumed when he told me he loved me, everything would be OK. Little did I know just how many people this Leo could "love."
(Not that its a bad thing-love-but it really sucks when you want to be the special one.)

I am sorry for your hurt Zen...I have walked in those shoes too.

Maybe a silly emoticon will help you smile??

MK

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juniperb
Knowflake

Posts: 6830
From: Blue Star Kachina
Registered: Mar 2002

posted December 13, 2003 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for juniperb     Edit/Delete Message
Aw Purp, love and lite to you {{{hugs}}}

juniperb

------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot

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Harpyr
Knowflake

Posts: 2255
From: land of the midnight sun
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 13, 2003 12:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Harpyr     Edit/Delete Message
purplezen, good for you on sending that email off. I can relate to that situation too. My first boyfriend, a Leo as well, years ago did a similar thing to me. After we broke up (because he cheated on me) he would still call me up and look for ego stroking from time to time. The breaking up process was dragged out for months till I finally said "ENOUGH!" It was hard, he was my first love, but I was tired of being manipulated by him, whether it was intentional or not on his part.
Watch out though... when I did that, he chased me for awhile after that. The fobidden fruit sort of thing..the challenge of it was hard to resist I suppose. Sticking to my convictions was the best thing I could have done though, I was much happier being disentangled from the emotional rollercoaster ride.
Stay strong!

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purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 13, 2003 01:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks everyone. I do feel much better today. And how "virgo" of me to end a good-riddance letter with "hope you are not mad at me". lol. I just dont have a mean bone in my body. I know things work out for the best and everything happens for a reason. It will take me a while to get over it, but I am on my way. love, purplezen

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dafremen
unregistered
posted December 13, 2003 01:23 PM           Edit/Delete Message
It sounds like you could use...

A HAPPY DANCE OF ANGELS!!







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CancerianMoon
Knowflake

Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 14, 2003 01:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CancerianMoon     Edit/Delete Message
purplezen...my heart goes out to you..but u r handling your self with dignity....u go girl...and as for the crap happening at the moment..im sure u'll look back and be thankful for it..but shame u could'nt have kicked that co-worker in the u know where!!!..take care....

------------------
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
-Harvey Fierstein

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purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 14, 2003 01:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
thanks everyone. You guys always make me feel better.

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted December 14, 2003 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
Oh Purplezen,


I am sorry things didn't work out. I think that e-mail was perfect. Hell, if he can't act like an adult, then he needs to be put in his place. I also am proud that you quit a job where you were being harrassed!! Good for you!!! I did the same thing when I was in highschool and took a job as a hostess. The creepy manager made the women wear hostess dresses that were too small so it would push out chests out. I told him to eat (poop) and I bailed.

I am sorry, but I do hope that dorky Leo gets the pictures and grows up!!!

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purplezen
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From: outer space
Registered: Aug 2003

posted December 14, 2003 02:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for purplezen     Edit/Delete Message
Today I received an apology I simply could not resist. This Leo really had his tail between his legs and everything. He told me He feels "lower than crap" for the way he treated me, and he is confused, he knows he loves me, but just wants to be my friend for now. He said he would rather have me in his life as a true friend, instead of not at all. He said a lot of other nice things too, but that is the gist of it. I am taking things with a grain of salt, but I am trying to be forgiving. some people are in your life for a reason I suppose.

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