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Author
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Topic: One of those days....
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WychOfAvalon
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: Los Angeles
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 01:21 AM
 
You know those days when you don't feel like you fit in or belong ANYWHERE? When no one understands or likes you. When you with you could crawl into a hole somewhere and sleep for 100 years. When a flippant comment from someone - anyone - even on a message board - suddenly throws you into a tailspin and makes you want to die. when you really really wish there was someone out there that would just accept you for what you are - the good and the bad. The light and the dark. The normal and the strange. ohhh I want to cry. Just cry and cry and cry. I don't fit in with the whitelight new-agers. I don't fit in with the angsty goths and Satanists. I don't fit in with witches and pagans. I don't fit in with the atheists. My friends don't understand me, bless them, they are great. It's probably my fault I lock everyone out anyway. So many people on these sites seem to just 'get it'. I don't get it at ALL. I try to learn more and it just leaves me feeling like I know less than I did when I started. it's all pointless. I love this site and I'm in awe of so many of you. I've never had problems here so don't think I'm talking about here. It's just everything in general. I'm so frustrated. ------------------
and if your world has turned to ashes.. i will leave you never.. even when the sun's blown out, i will shine forever.. i caress you with my charms.. i'm your best friend, the dream.. i'm the light that guides you through the nights and deepest haze IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted March 10, 2004 01:59 AM
OMIGOD!!!!
Hon, I totally know..
you know when someone writes something that vibes completely with how you feel, and they wrote it in exactly the way you feel it, and they think everyone doesn't see them truly as they are, or when someone says something nice about you, you immediately think they don't mean it, and how can you truly be what they think you are or say you are because if they really knew what a misfit you were, then they'd be really surprised, and realize what a mistake they'd made to put such faith in you? Yeah...... I don't fit in either.. but it is really an illusion anyway. Besides,
don't you know you are one of the truer lights that shine here? Maybe if people say it enough, it just may stick to the right places.. even temporarily. Love to you.  IP: Logged |
Motherkonfessor
Knowflake Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 02:08 AM
quote:
ohhh I want to cry. Just cry and cry and cry. I don't fit in with the whitelight new-agers. I don't fit in with the angsty goths and Satanists. I don't fit in with witches and pagans. I don't fit in with the atheists. My friends don't understand me, bless them, they are great.
Sweet Wych...this means that you can see all the pieces...you may not "fit in" with the deciding stereotype of any one of these groups, but you have been able to learn and discern enough from them to take what's useful to your soul. You are a "group" of one, yourself, your unique self. Think of how you can interact with these so varied groups of people. Not everyone can do that. When I first joined this group, I always read all of your posts. While I lurked, not posting, I wished I had a best friend like you. No, I don't know your sign, all the stories of your life, your secrets. But you are a kindred soul. You adore Duran Duran.....you know who Thrill Kill Kult....you have HUNG OUT with DD...your pictures are wonderful, your posts are elegant and poignant, well thought....and every picture I have seen of you makes me think "yes, thats the look I tried to pull off and she does it incredibly." I am not trying to shamelessly flatter you, but I think you rock. I wish I could go out for coffee and hang with you. I cannot possibly fathom that as you posted.. 'no one likes you' Do you really think any of us "gets it?" Well, yes, some folks probably do. Or they think they do. I bet you will reach the day when you "get it." Its your "it" to get!!  I never fit anyone either, and despaired of it all thru my 20s....oh goddess, will I ever find a spot, a home, a group, just ONE Person to understand the me of me? Have I? no, not really. But I found me. That's the most important. I find random, beautiful people that align with me, at the moment, and then they pass out of my life again. I don't "get it" either. But I think I found out how to get there.....and I believe you know how also. MK 
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted March 10, 2004 02:22 AM
Can I just say......
I might be a bleeding heart woman....
I might be a hopeless lover of fine things and happiness
I might be a corny chick
(I might be PMS-ing and emotional...hehe)
But, I felt so much love and truth from that post that I am smiling from the inside out!
How sweet and special...
and do you know what is funny?
You two have the same "vibe" to me.. I mean, you are both unique ... but the same kind, evolved, cool, insightful, true to yourself, centred personality.. and I think you would seriously make good friends!!
But I'd have to come too, cuz I stay up late like you.....*smiles*IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Knowflake Posts: 1337
From: Northeast Ohio
Registered: Sep 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 03:18 AM
I have felt that way on a regular basis. to you all.IP: Logged |
theFajita3
Knowflake Posts: 1457
From: Sunny South Florida, USA
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 11:46 AM
Wych HUGS!------------------
Namaste! IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 11:50 AM
Wych...I think you're lovely. Inside and out. And judging from your photos, the people in your life adore you.
Be well. Sometimes these temporary depressions are just what we need to see things more clearly. Sometimes we need to get a little down before we can go up.
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WychOfAvalon
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: Los Angeles
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 01:18 PM
This thread has officially overwhelmed me. All of you are the BEST. I was already feeling better when I woke up this morning anyway but this thread's made me feel WORLDS better **although I feel a little silly for getting so emotional and posting it to begin with!** hehehe pixelpixie ~ I can't believe we haven't really talked that much on this board except the past couple months. We have to remedy that! Thank you for being so great! MK ~ thank you thank you thank you! If you are ever in Los Angeles LETS HAVE COFFEE!! Your post touched me... so sweet! Thank you. You're right - I'll 'get it' when I'm supposed to. I just had a roller coaster day yesterday. LOL and you mention DD! There's a contest on the radio station I'm listening to to win trips to London to see them in concert, backstage, deluxe hotel, etc. AHHH WANNA WIN! hehehe! And thank you teaselbaby, Fajita, Trillian!! I SO appreciate the positive thoughts! Funny after I wrote this post last night I had a fortune cookie and the fortune said "You will touch the hearts of many". I just thought "THANK YOU, UNIVERSE!! I really needed that"  IP: Logged |
Ra
Moderator Posts: 2078
From: Atlanta
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted March 10, 2004 01:28 PM
Amber  "Getting it" is completely relative. No one really "gets it", and if they do, then they don't. You've got plenty.  IP: Logged |
Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 03:36 PM
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Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 03:46 PM
Amber...I know you're an Aries...and right now mean old Saturn is going thru Cancer which is squaring your Sun and any other planets you might have in Aries.....making things real uncomfortable for you at this time.....but you're not alone kiddo....Cancer people are really feeling it...not to mention Libras and Capricorns, of which I am one.....this too shall pass....hang in there!!!  ..  Love,
Rainbow
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Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 03:57 PM
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Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 03:59 PM
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Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 04:00 PM
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Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 04:02 PM
 ........  IP: Logged |
moondreamer
Knowflake Posts: 503
From: durban
Registered: Nov 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 04:10 PM
i know EXACTLY what you mean.
However, I must admit I haven't had one of those days in a LLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
time.
Moon.IP: Logged |
Rainbow~
Knowflake Posts: 5927
From: The Little River Indian Reservation
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 04:24 PM
Dear Amber....Was happy to see all the loving and understanding responses you received here.... and hope I was able to brighten your day a little, too.... Sheese....it's the LEAST I could do after my manic paranoid outburts here a couple years ago (I was a basket case because of "you know who." Forgiven?)  Hang in....count your blessings...(easy to say, I know)...and look at that beautiful little child you have? I'll bet you give thanks for him, every day.... Love,
Rainbow
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WychOfAvalon
Knowflake Posts: 633
From: Los Angeles
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted March 11, 2004 01:25 PM
Thank you very much Ra And Rainbow - thank you! I love that fairy picture you posted. And of course all's forgiven for what happened years ago. Don't think of it *hugs moondreamer* IP: Logged |
theFajita3
Knowflake Posts: 1457
From: Sunny South Florida, USA
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted March 11, 2004 01:57 PM
It's good to feel you lifted again Amber!!!------------------
Namaste! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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