posted August 20, 2004 12:20 AM         

I suppose that shouldn't knock me off my feet or anything, seeing as I did send him a card, along with his bro and sis (separate cards to each, of course) shortly before Rx. I wanted to touch base while still leave the ball entirely in his court. I have no intention of throwing myself upon him, we'll do this on his terms, our "best" friend-thing. Yeah, his contact means I'm on his mind, and our moms seem fine with our contact.

OK, I do feel compelled to write a brief update, as of two and a half weeks ago when I left CO:
I had a lot of entirely mixed signals from my extended stay. Towards the middle, he was for all intents and purposes almost ignoring me, but to put in in perspective, we'd had these intense, and deep future-pondering conversations on the 18th (his b-day) and 22nd of June, then around July 1 he started pulling away. Had we connected too much? Was he just scared about being so candid with someone that he felt threatened? I'm not altogether sure.
Then, the last week or two, he seemed to seek me out again, taught me the recipe of his infamous heavily jalepeno-laced bean dip, talked about our day-to-day stuff again. It felt right.
We had done alot of team-like things during the course of my visit, activities that seemed to cement our partnership strength, and our energies worked in very complimentary ways. We cooked, changed oil(he gave me a walk-through), worked on household tasks, did errands, just it seemed like everything had this wonderful give and take.

I did almost let my romantic attachment to him go on July 24th, played Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You" repeated on my CD walkman, then walked up to the kitchen where I ran into him, and he was appropriately attune to my mood. That made a world of difference.

Is it bad that I am no longer obsessive about my romantic feelings for him? I feel like I've worked through the extreme jealous urges that used to pop out at the most random moments, and I can just live with my affection for him without it needing the possessive control. I do hope that's progress.

Am I rambling? I don't mean to, hehe.

Anyhow, I needed to spill, and I'd apprectiate any comments, opinions reflections, etc. from my friends here.

posted August 20, 2004 02:10 PM         

Is it bad that you let go of the obsessive part? Heck no, girl. That means you have worked past some of the natural infatuation we all feel in the beginning of relationships and have moved on to the warmer, deeper, longer lasting love part.

posted August 20, 2004 02:40 PM         

I'm glad to hear some confirmation that the lack of drama is a good sign....I was starting to wonder...

Appreciate the encouragement, FK and SO.

posted August 21, 2004 11:07 PM         

He still hasn't called.... Boo HOO!

What, is two days not a decent amount of time in which to call?

I know, I know, he might have other things going on in his life, it's not as though it all revolves around me...hehe, I'd just like to think it does (it's that Leo-influence, I tell ya).

So, I'm in a bummed mood but hanging in there...

posted August 21, 2004 11:32 PM         

We women sometimes settle for crumbs, when we deserve the whole cake.

posted August 22, 2004 02:54 PM         

I won't settle for anything, that's kinda why I am still single and others my age have dated bunches of people.

LibraSparkle, I really desparately avoid contacting anyone during Merc Rx...I also don't wonder if this might not be a back-handed (his Mars in Cancer...) way of asking me to call. I'll give him another couple of days, then probably break down and call. I'm all too curious as to why he wanted to talk with me.