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Author
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Topic: Go-Go Dancing
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astralah
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 14, 2004 05:33 PM
 
Help! I just came from my audition at a gentlemen's club. There was this one girl I saw dance, and she really freaked me out. I never saw anything like that on tv. I'm starting college and my tuition is outrageous; this is the only way I can pay. This is something I never saw myself doing.
Am I damned? Headed for eternal damnation? Will my relationships with boys be screwed forever? What would Linda think? Oh god.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 14, 2004 07:34 PM
Seriously?
I am going to most likely go against the grain and say....
Does it matter what anyone thinks?
What do you think?
Is it really the only way?
Do you feel it would be degrading, or is there a way for you to retain integrity and respect in the way that you do it.. no one need go against their own morals.... you can do anything with fun and respect for your own true mind.
As long as you are comfortable, you don't have to see it as degrading just because others do... it is creative, a good aerobic workout, and you are performing a service in a way.. a transaction of sorts.. without touching of course, then it becomes another transaction all together.. but you can be someone's fantasy for an evening, and who really wants fantasies to be actual
If you must, and you are uncomfortable, put perspective on it... you won't be doing it always, it is an experience, it doesnt define who you are, it is a mneans to an end and if it doesn't enrich you, if you see no redeeming graces with this form of entertainment and money, then your answer is there. Work isn't always fun, nor can you make as much money doing other things as you could there...... Hold true to you.This is not what Linda would think, I don't believe.. however.....
I respect the woman and her teachings, but I believe we all must make our own opinions. Good luck!  IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 14, 2004 09:01 PM
Lot of pitfalls here, mainly in the types of people that hang out there. If you can stay away from drugs and negative behavior and stay focused on your studies I say if you can live with it I certainly can too.
But they're are a lot of things to consider.
Will this make you feel bad about yourself?
Can you tell your mom? and will you freak if your brother walks in? If your comfortable with this then go for it but also remember the life span of an exotic dancer is not that long and if theres any sweetness in you there won't be for long. Good luck Sweetie.P.S Most importantly don't sell yourself short its not the only way to pay your tuition, if you really want an education start by applying for a grant. IP: Logged |
Fox
Knowflake Posts: 130
From: Australia
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 04:40 AM
I wish I had your confidence to be able to do something like that. I reckon it would be fun, great exercise and usually good money. Good Luck with whatever you choose to do.IP: Logged |
Irish Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 461
From: PA,USA
Registered: Apr 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 07:17 AM
I think that everyone has given great advise here but I feel that I need to add a few things. The wife of my husbands best friend was a dancer went they met.She started using whatever drug was availible before she went on stage. She does not know how to have a normal relationship with a man. She is the "perfect" wife. She tries to overcompensate for what she did in her past. She is not respected by most people once they find out that she did this. Men ask her husband sick questions about her from time to time. When her 13 year-old son found out what she used to do for a living he could not speak to her for weeks. She has not danced for 10 years and yet she is still unable to excape some of the negitive from it. When she was in the hospital in a different state giving birth to her second child one of the men on staff on that wing recognized her, his tip off was her tattoos. That is what I know this woman has been through. She says that the money was nice but she never thought to putting it away...she needed it to self-medicate. I hope all goes will for you,
Irish IP: Logged |
Sun_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 1768
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted September 15, 2004 09:05 AM
Oh Irish Eyes, your poor friend. Thats a really sad story. Its certainly put me off ever doing anything like that.  IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 10:25 AM
you'll do far better getting a good book on affirmations and start beleiving that money will come to you. why do you believe that it won't. You get what you expect in life. WHy not aim high and expect a miracle. Expect that the money will come. Open your mind and stop believing in lack. There is a ton of money out there. why can't you get some with out dancing? You can. Open your mind.IP: Logged |
Philbird
Knowflake Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 11:36 AM
Astralah,
Been there, done that. Yes, the money was good, helped a lot for school. I really loved to dance, and when I went to work, that's what I did, dance. I distanced myself from managers, staff, and customers and did not get caught up in the whole scene. Some of the women really get upset when they know you are only passing through, when dancing is their only career. You are competing for money, there's a lot of jealously, if you are good! Be wary if the establishment encourages you to let customers buy you drinks, to boost liquor sales. I was having the bar tender give me screwdrivers without vodka so I wouldn't get drunk... I had a customer confront me on this.
Best of luck on whatever you decide, I have no regrets regarding my morals. Just don't do anything you feel isn't "right." And try to have a friend meet you when you are finished working, just in case. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 15, 2004 11:40 AM
 Philly!IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 11:46 AM
Yeah. What Philly said. Been there, done that. I didn't make friends with anyone there, because what Lala says IS true. I stayed at the club for 2 years... made a lot of money, and moved on.It's not something you can make a career of, and you can tell the dancers that have been at it for years from the newer ones because the at it for years ones look tired and used up.  "Girls ... girls get that cash... if it's 9-5 or shaking your a**. Ain't no shame ladies, do your thing. Just make sure you're ahead of the game." IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 15, 2004 04:18 PM
I've got a little secret for you girls,
If its Money for tuition that we're talking about you can make MORE money doing cocktails in a Casino. Of course I live in Nevada but there are Casinos everywhere now. Its nothing for me to bring home a buck and a half each night and thats after tipping out your bartender at 20 percent. That is an average night On a good night 500 is nothing. And no one touches you. You can claim breast implants on your income taxes if you do cocktails.IP: Logged |
astralah
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 05:01 PM
Ok, ok, let's see. About serving cocktails--I paid five hundred dollars for a bartending license, looked all over for a job, and could not get hired. Next-let's talk tuition. I applied for all manner of loans and grants. I was late for a couple of big ones--all said, my monthly bill is over fifteen hundred dollars--not including books, supplies, and miscellaneous expences. Tragically, my (BIG) family found out about the audition and reemed me. I am really stressed about that and they are so mean--they act like I am doing it for fun. I feel really alone and confused. But when I put it all in perspective I know that this is the only way to make the kind of money I need while still attending school full time. Question: Why will all my sweetness be gone before long? That scares me. To the girls who have "been there, done that" do you agree with that? Did dancing adversely affect your relationships with men?IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 06:11 PM
Well, yeah... you'll loose some sweetness. It will harden you a bit.From my experience, it will only adversely effect your relationships with men if you're in a relationship while you're dancing. My husband and I don't have any issues with it. Most of our friends have been our friends for a lot of years, and no one ever makes nasty comments about me. Sometimes I get questions, but... I'm an open person and questions don't really bother me. I usually answer most questions quite honestly. I had a lot of fun when I was dancing (here, no one can touch you... there's a two foot rule). Another alternative to dancing in a club would be cocktailing in a club... since bartending didn't pan out. Bartenders and cocktail waitresses in strip clubs often make more than the dancers, since they also make an hourly wage. I learned a lot from my experience as a dancer... about myself, and about men. I can't really say I have any regrets. I did have to be drunk to dance... coudln't do it sober, which is not healthy. There are definate pros and cons. You just have to decide if the pros outway the cons. IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 15, 2004 08:05 PM
sounds to me like you want to be a dancer
good luckIP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 08:18 PM
It's really not something that everyone can pull themelves out of. If you think you might even possibly start getting sucked into the lifestyle... GET OUTIP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 15, 2004 08:21 PM
Lala, Just wanted to say that I think you have very sound advice and great food for thought.  IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 15, 2004 11:22 PM
Thank you darlin!
IP: Logged |
astralah
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 12:46 PM
I think I will look in to cocktail waitressing, but don't they want you to have experience for that? Also, do the cocktail girls really pull five hundred to a grand each night? I find that hard to believe. I would also think openings for cocktailing are as slim as those for bartenders. I mean I've even been trying to get a waitressing job for months. I live in a major metropolis and jobs are seriously scarce. I applied at a really trendy restaurant not too long ago and the hostess looked at me like I had two heads. (And I was perfectly presentable, thank you.) I really don't WANT to be a dancer, but I'm running out of time and I need to start making money ASAP.IP: Logged |
astralah
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 12:50 PM
LibraSparkle: Did anything you learned about men depress or embitter you? Do you ever feel that you would be better off without that knowledge?IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 12:57 PM
That didn't happen to me, no. But, that's not to say that it couldn't happen to you.I'm not a man-hater, or a lesbian because of it, if that's what you mean. The things I learned were more about the nature of male sexuality, and that they'll say damn near anything to you to get it. I was 18 when I started. I didn't have drinks with the men, I didn't do *private* dances. I also learned a lot about myself in the process. I learned that I had some serious *daddy* issues. Otherwise, I wouldn't be in that position. I learned that a lot of the reason I was there was linked to my childhood, and that some day I would have to go back and sort it all out. So, basically, being in that position put me in a place of self realization... which is why I have no regrets. IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 01:00 PM
Ooh... and girl, those shoes will KILL your feet and lower back!IP: Logged |
astralah
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 01:13 PM
Ok, but I'm sort of scared of learning about male sexuality...I'm afraid I might not like what I find. Ignorance is bliss, right?IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 01:17 PM
Honey, if you're having doubt, don't do it.Are you over 18? Can you apply for loans? What about grants? There are tons of grants out there that ppl don't take advantage of. My husband works with a guy who put himself through college AND supported his family entirely on grants. The help is out there... you just have to look for it  IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 16, 2004 01:20 PM
This site is all about US grants, college loans, government grants, scholarships, how to consolidate student loans & debts, how to make money, college grants, and free financial aid. Funding is available from federal, state, county and local governments, banks, commercial companies, and private foundations & trusts.
http://www.scholarships-government-grants-student-loans-financial-aid.org/base.html IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 16, 2004 01:23 PM
Astralah,
glad to hear your going to look into cocktails. I'm hearing your sweetness and its something you want to keep. I don't know where you live but if its a large city you should have no problems. Here in Nevada its a little different. I don't work with money, only my tips. When you gamble, everything is free. My job is high volumn and I average 22 drinks every 15 minutes. When the drinks are free (and they're not losing) people tend to be generous. Also you can do as good as the high roller your serving. In a nice club you should have no problem breaking a bill every night. Do your best and show your sweetness and you'll be fine. And Study!IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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