posted September 19, 2004 01:24 AM         

It got me thinking. College football is the American version of Celtic clan warfare. Given the fact that the Southern US was originally settled by Scots, Irish and Welsh (as well as French and Spanish in some areas)it makes sense. Then (being the proud Southerner I am) I began thinking about the difference between football in the South and football in other parts of the country, (I include the Big 12 in the Southern region since 9 of the 12 teams are in Southern states), especially in the classical "North." It reminded me of this comparison from "The GRITS Guide to Life." I'm in the mood to share.

A GRITS-eye Guide to Football: North vs. South

Women's Accessories
North: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a 1/5th of bourbon; money isn't necessary - that's what dates are for, sugah.

Stadiums
N: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
S: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers
N: Expect their daughters to understand Shakespeare.
S: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Homecoming Queen
N: Also a physics major.
S: Also Miss America.

Getting Tickets
N: Five days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
S: Five months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put your name on a waiting list.

Getting to the Stadium
N: You ask, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it you walk right in.
S: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city. (Neyland Stadium, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN.)

Parking
N: An hour before game time, the university opens the campus for game parking.
S: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Tailgating
N: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
S: Thirty-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn.

Concessions
N: Drinks served in paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
S: Drinks served in plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played
N: Stands are less than half full, and less than half the people stand up.
S: A hundred thousand fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four part harmony.

After the Game
N: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
S: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

GO MIZZOU!! GO VOLS!!!

Blessings all

posted September 19, 2004 09:36 AM         

Just curious, it seems that it's implying that the North doesn't have much pride or team spirit. I disagree, but I am a Northerner myself, and in Maine, we take our sports pretty seriously.

I'm gutted that I can't watch college games on tv, but at least I get to see my Pats kicking a$$ at about 1am....hehe.