posted December 02, 2004 05:22 AM
well the way i see it change is going to happen anyway and it will probably initially seem as though change is actaully making you weaker and you are caving but if you can get through it then....i cannot remember his name now but he is an american/candian person as well-from what i can see you are from the same part of Earth.
anyway this there was the story that he went hiking to the mountains at a very bad time of the year in rugged terrain by himself.
he ended up getting his arm stuck between a rock wall and a boulder that fell (the place has many avanlances- i think it is called'Otawa'.) He was there for a little over a week i think in complete agony. His water was sipped every few hours (1 sip as reward ) though ran out in a few days. He ended up needing to drink his own urine to survive and was surprised he didn't die out there due to loss of fluids and his arm rapidly deteriorating. He ended up getting free by cutting his owm arm off, a task he thought was impossible.
after what he called divine intervention (a vision of the son he was to have if he got out which was so vivid and beautiful and full of love) he suddenly got the answer of how to be freed.
I am telling a patchy story but basically, even after a terrble bone infection 1 month after he got back home and also the long car trip and hours long hike back up the mountain to get to his car with one cut off bleedng arm he still survived and had the child.
He said everything is so much easier after what he has been through. He does things now with such ease!!!!
so in short i think change is good an the only way as long as you are left with something to hold on to!
I'm sorry to hear you are finding it difficult. The only thing i recommend because it workerd for me is getting in contact with whatever you perceive 'God' to be. This totally turned my life around.
goodluck*****
Love ness