posted December 03, 2004 11:34 PM         

Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.

____ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".

____ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.

____ The cat is on Valium.

____ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.

____ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.

____ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.

____ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.

____ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.

____ You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.

10.____ Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.

Scoring:

30 - a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little
going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled
life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered
a parallel career path?
0-9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you _do_ anyway?